Before - Legends Miracle Fruit - Dare Challenge 2011

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by SoA, Apr 14, 2011.

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  1. SoA Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2008
    star 3
    Title: Miracle Fruit
    Author: SoA
    Timeframe: 3957 BBY
    Characters: OCs
    Genre: Humor, Mystery
    Summary: After a xenobotanist publishes an article about a newly discovered miracle fruit but neglects to describe what it actually looks like, Kionee finds herself with seven different fruits all claiming to be the mysterious nostrum. She enlists the help of another xenobotany professor to help her get to the bottom of this mystery.
    Notes: This was written for the 2011 Dare Challenge

    My dare was:

    1. Inclusion of campfire songs as meditation/attempt to keep one's sanity.
    2. a piece of fruit
    3. snow globe
    4. a weapon of some kind (perferably mundane and seemingly innocent... even if it really isn't)
    5. it's optional: small children as seen from a distance
    6. a harried telephone operator person

    I really aught to thank whoever wrote this dare for a good time. This one really got the plot gizka hopping.

    As always, the word count constraint was probably the hardest part of the challenge to work in.

    Miracle Fruit

    Independent xenobotanist Mirian Zaberflopsen recently discovered sweeping health benefits of the native Corellian fruit, nostrum. Nostrums, when lightly modified, reduce the risk of heart disease, cancers, diabetes, and memory loss while improving the complexion and luster of skin, hair, fur, scales, and feathers. -HoloNews Network

    Kionee Rinnh marched up the loading ramp of her freighter, the Viridian. Two hauling droids followed her, supporting large crates of produce in their shelf-like arms.

    ?No, the greens go in the misting compartment,? Kionee directed the confused droids, ?That one's the freezer. And put the nostrums in the second cooler.? The pair of haulers deposited their cargo and scooted down the ramp for another load from the hovertruck below.

    Despite the droids' incompetence, there was a smile on Kionee's face. Hardly a week before, the hitherto unknown nostrum took the galactic produce market by storm. After ?Healthy Habits Weekly? released an article detailing the fruit's healing properties, suppliers and citizens clamored for it. When she landed on Corellia earlier that morning, Kionee had high hopes of getting her hands on some of the miracle fruit. Already, her first supplier had three crates of it for her. Given that Rinnh Imports had never dealt in nostrums before, Kionee was pleasantly surprised at the ready supply already available on Corellia.

    Kionee finished directing the droids in packing their load of produce into the Viridian's cooling compartments. As they tottered away, Kionee approached the second cooler. She reached in and opened one of the crates of nostrums. It was filled to the brim with spiky, yellow-green fruit that vaguely resembled prishts. Since reading the ?Healthy Habits? article, Kionee had been itching with curiosity about nostrums. She took one in her hand, then closed up the cooler.

    Kionee sniffed it, then took a bite, wrinkling her nose at the sudden burst of sourness. Even despite the puckery flavor, Kionee finished it, then tossed the ovular pit into the ship's compost system.

    Just then, MT-412, the protocol droid that acted as Kionee's co-pilot and business partner, scuffled up the loading ramp into the cargo bay.

    ?Excellent news, Mistress Kionee,? Emtee announced, ?The Sellos just sold us two crates of nostrums along with their regular produce supply.?

    ?I got three from the Prongas,? Kionee replied proudly. ?Let's see them.?

    ?They're just coming,? Emtee reassured her.

    Sure enough, two more haulers rolled up behind Emtee. At his urging, one set down its crate by Kionee. She cracked open the lid to find it full of pleasantly pink, fuzzy fruit. ?This can't be right,? Kionee protested, ?These don't look like nostrum at all.?

    ?What do you mean?? Emtee asked, ?Mr. Sello assured me that these were the very fruit featured in that article.?

    ?Then,? Kionee began, fetching one of the spiky fruit from the cooler, ?What are these??

    ?I'd say it looks a little bit like a pris/>
  2. MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2008
    star 4
    Very nice. Great job with the dare.
  3. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Yes a nice story and great to see Kionee Rinnh again. Love her and her adventures=D==D=
  4. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    Hehehehe, that was fun! I think everybody is jumping onto a bandwagon without knowing what's really going on... but fruit certainly seems lucrative! Great challenge response.
  5. LaForzaViva Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    Haha that was great SoA! I liked the ending bit too about organic food :p

    Great response!
  6. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Loved this!

    I'm not at all surprised so many would be clamoring for such a miracle fruit without even knowing what it was.

    Nice to see Kionne wasn't scammed in the end as I was starting to suspect she was.

    Great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  7. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
  8. FelsGoddess Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2004
    star 5
    Great response! Like how everyone had no idea what the fruit looked like.
  9. Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    GOOF Corellia


    What a fun story, and a great response to the challenge given. :D It's precisely the way people would react to a new 'miracle fruit,' too.

    Well done!
  10. tjace Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2008
    star 4
    Great story, it has the feel of some of the old Tales of the New Republic - type stories (although in the Old Republic, obviously). I'm always amazed at what people can do with these challenges, it takes some real creativity.
  11. TheMacUnleashed Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 2, 2009
    star 4
    =D= Wonderful, creative response! This was entertaining and kept me hooked all the way through. I rather like Kionee -I admire any person who has a durian and knows how to use it!
  12. Jade_Max Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 28, 2002
    star 5
    Can I second that? I haven't a clue what I would have done with this dare and you pulled it off in a totally true to life kind of way. That was fun!
  13. SoA Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2008
    star 3
    Wow! Thanks for reading everyone!

    MiralukaJedi, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    earlybird-obi-wan, hoorah! Writing Kionee always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. She's a lot of fun. For not being an epic kind of character, she gets herself into some interesting places now and then.

    Luna_Nightshade, chaos makes for great entertainment, and probably nice profits too. I was inspired by the huge pomegranate hype that went up a while back, which may or may not have merited the hype it got.

    LaForzaViva, for a first attempt a humor, it wasn't bad, I take it. :) And organic really is better on so many levels. *waves sign around* Eat organic!

    KELIA, thanks! Kionee may not be the most brilliant individual, but she's got good business sense. She wasn't going to give up if she had any suspicion of being scammed. Thankfully, it all worked out nicely.

    VaderLVR64, thanks for reading!

    FelsGoddess, I'm not sure how that happened, but I'm pretty sure it was a scam in the making. Kionee and Professor Tullup put a stop to that, mostly anyway.

    Commander-DWH, *snickers* I did that on purpose. I can make fun of organic farmers because I love them. <3 Thanks for letting me borrow Mr. Moran.

    tjace, thanks! I really enjoy writing little slice-of-life stories.

    TheMacUnleashed, haha, thanks! Durians are seriously dangerous. I have yet to encounter anything else that smells that foul, and I certainly wouldn't want one of those spiky things to be used as a projectile weapon against me either.

    Jade_Max, I think some of the most interesting/fun stories I've written have been off of dares and similar challenges. When the dare works me into a corner, I find adrenaline-creativity pumping in to the rescue. It's a blast. Though, it did help that I had Kionee already waiting in the queue of my OCs as a fruit freighter pilot with a tendency for random and quirky happenings. She slipped really neatly into this dare.

    That was so much fun! I can't wait until next year's dare challenge.
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