Canada Misconceptions about Canada

My friend thought of this one:

Grand Manan is it's own province. Some even think it's another country.

 

Well, it has SNOWED in Calgary in July actually, Stampede 1999 during the first week.
BTW: I eat my steak BLUE RARE, which is pretty close to raw. Best way to eat your meat actually.
AND:
- Alberta, what state is that? (During a lineup talk at Walt Disney World).
- Alberta, isn't that overseas by India? (Talking to a vendor in NY:NY over the phone).
- Igloos and horses come to mind.
- Where do you keep all those indians?

 

I had a friend who used to have his steaks the same way.

 

To anyone making fun or ignoring Canada.. I say eat our gold medals!!!

 

I say we shove hockey sticks up their butts.

 

Living as Lumber Jacks comes to mind.

Olympics 2002 Mens Hockey Gold Medal Champions Canada!!! Whoo Hoo

 

Once when i was talking to someone over the net, i said that i was Canadian. he said "Cool. what hockey teams do you play on?".

 

One of my friends online told me about this.
He lives in the Wiscontin (sp?). They were starting to learn about Canada in one of their classes, and he told his teacher he knows a few Canadians over the internet just to be told by his teacher that Canadians don't have the internet.

And to think this is the teacher that was teaching them about Canada, imagine the stuff they must have learned.

 

Like how to spell Wisconsin?

 

"Class, it's time for Canada 101. Observe this picture of a lumberjack with a beaver. This is Joe, an average Canadian (or as they prefer to be called 'Canuck') with his pet beaver. Joe lives in an igloo in a southern Canadian village called Toronto. The large teeth of this guard beaver prevent the nearest neighbour, 400 miles away, from breaking in and stealing Joe's hockey puck collection. Canada has a population of 30 people, and they all play for the same hockey team. The average annual snowfall in Toronto is 14 feet, 12 of which fall during the month of July. A typical August day's temperature can rise as high as -100 fahrenheit. As soon as you cross the border, it snows. Borders are patrolled by police, who ride horses and use unloaded guns. The majority of Canadians do not speak English, but all speak French. They are pacifists, and are easy pushovers in trade disputes. We rape them all we want at the bargaining table, and they offer military support in the form their 2 canoes whenever we ask. Their flag consists of a black hockey puck on a white background. It's identical to Japan's flag, but the red is substituted for black. Also, they don't have internet, phones, electricity, running water, or oxygen. Any questions?"

 

Stayed at some kids place in Atlanta when I was younger for a swim meet. Things that happenned:

I got chased around by the host kid with a loaded gun. He thought it was funny when I ran.

I got chased around by the host kid with a knife, which he subsequently threw. He thought it was funny when I dodged.

Some puddles on the street actually froze over one day. The father of the house bought me and the other guest hockey sticks, while saying with a knowing smile: "I know how much this sort of thing means to you, kids." He didn't even buy a puck that #*%#%&.

 

All our roads are dirt roads

 

Ever been to PEI?

wk

 

I've been to PEI.

Very, umm, red.

Gotta love that the main highway that crosses the province is only a 80 Km/h one. I guess they are afraid if you go at 100 Km/h you'll overshoot the whole island!

 

Actually, the main highways (trans canada & #1) are 90

secondary highways are 80



wk

 

I have a pet caribou

 

I have a family of beavers living in my backyard.

 

I have a seal as a pet.

 

i've got 2 beavers, a seal and i live on an igloo, eh.

 

lol, I have a seal, a beaver and a moose as pets, and I live in an igloo. Why can't it stop snowing?? I am sick of looking at it all year round.

 

heheh that we all live up up north.
americans say eh more than we do now lol.
the fact that theres absolutely nothing in between vancouver and toronto i say Saskatchewan and nobody knows what the hell i'm talkign about lol.
the fact that all Canadians love hockey (I HATE HOCKEY!!) probably because jock bastards always bothered me lol childhood trauma i guess.

 

I HATE HOCKEY!!

Leave Canada and don't come back. Now. Just kidding!

Vancouver have a caribou problem. They stampede through the streets. Lately, we've resorted to bombarding them with Timbits. However, animal rights activists are outraged. So, we deport them to Halifax. The problem is they're back in Vancouver 4 days later.

 

And then those cariboo walk over the bridge between Vancouver and Victoria and mess up traffic...you know, the bridge all those tourists insist exists? The one they insist they drove across to get to Victoria?

Real conversations that happen every tourist season:

Tourist: Hey, can you tell me where the bridge is?

Victorian: Which one, the Johnson Street or the Bay Street Bridge?

Tourist: No, no, no...not those! The one that goes back to the mainland!

Victorian, sighing deeply, thinking 'here we go again...': There is no bridge to the mainland, just the ferry...the same one you took to get here, unless you flew here.

Tourist: Look, I know there's a bridge. My wife and I drove over it when we came here!

Victorian: This 'bridge' you took...was there a really bad traffic jam in the middle of it? One that lasted about ninety minutes?

Tourist: Yeah! You know, for such an expensive toll, you people really should do something about traffic control on that bridge of yours...

- Rani

 

hahahhahahaahahah oh man thats funy hahahahahahh

 

eh? at the end of each sentence


But my only Canadian friend does write eh at the end of each sentance, oh and by the way, I'm Paul from Australia , also known as the great JP