Misconceptions (Obi,Qui,humor,JA)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Antigone, Aug 7, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Antigone Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2002
    star 1
    Hey all. I have a small, one poster for you. It?s a parody of my other fic NOC. A few people have mentioned that they believe Obi-Wan to be pregnant?Well, he?s an outright version of Obi-Wan BELIEVING he is pregnant. Hope you enjoy.

    A shout-out THANK YOU is going to my beta, Athenerva, who did this at midnight, and did not miss a beat. Thanks, hun!

    And now?

    * * *

    ?Master, I don?t feel so good.?

    Qui-Gon looked up from his data pad in mild concern. Since being taken as a padawan a few months prior, Obi-Wan had successfully avoided any ailment that had wormed its way through the Temple, not prompting Qui-Gon to buff up on his bedside manner. The Jedi master had known it was too good to last.

    A quick glance over Obi-Wan revealed his apprentice, standing in the entrance to the common room ? a good sign, his standing, in and of itself - with a quite sour expression lying heavy on his face. Qui-Gon sighed. As long as Obi-Wan wasn?t dying, he could handle it. He?d seen two other padawans through colds, the ?flu, food poisonings, rashes, pneumonia, and a particularly nasty strain of Remulian stomach virus, collectively; there was very little that could top that.

    ?What?s wrong, Padawan??

    ?It?s my stomach??

    Stomach? Stomach problems he could handle, though they tended to be on the messy side as illnesses go.

    ?I think I?m pregnant.?

    Taken aback, the only thing keeping an impromptu chuckle stifled in Qui-Gon?s chest was impression that his padawan spoke in all seriousness.

    ?Obi-Wan,? the master began, taking care that only the slightest measure of amusement was to be found in his voice, ?I don?t think you?re?pregnant.?

    Obi-Wan?s eyes widened and a hand instinctively pressed itself against his abdomen, as if to lend credence to his self-diagnosis, ?No, Master, I know these things, and I am.?

    Qui-Gon shook his head, ?No, padawan, you?re not. You?re a human boy, and human *boys* do not have children, not physically.?

    Indignation briefly flashed across the boy?s features, ?Master Tuval is a boy, and he says he?s had children.?

    ?Padawan,? Qui-Gon paused a moment, scrunching his forehead slightly, ?Master Tuval is a woman.?

    ?With all due respect, Master, you?re wrong. There?s no way Master Tuval could be a woman. He?s just so ? not womanly shaped. And when he talks he just doesn?t sound?Master, he *can?t* be a woman!?

    ?I assure you, Padawan mine, she can and is.? Qui-Gon thanked the Force Obi had this debate with him, rather than with Master Tuval hims-herself. Though, honestly he could not fault the boy?s assumption. Master Tuval had never been one of the more ? feminine Temple females.

    ?But, Master ? Master Tuval aside ? boys *can* have children.?

    Qui-Gon sighed, ?Why do you say that, Obi-Wan??

    ?Master Hilum. She said that every member of a species can give birth.?

    ?Master Hilum, your being growth and development instructor??

    Obi-Wan nodded, and the whole situation was suddenly placed in a clearer light. Now, Qui-Gon had to undo the damage that had been done. ?Padawan, only in *some* species can every member have children ? unisex species, where there are no genders.?

    ?But, Master, my back hurts and me feet feel as if they are about to fall off. That happens when you?re pregnant.? Obi-Wan spoke with an authoritative knowledge on the subject.

    ?Obi-Wan, you?ve just come back from a three day sparring camp. Of course you are going to be sore.?

    ?But, I?ve gained weight. That happens when you?re pregnant. I must keep my energy up for little Keelian,? Obi-Wan said, patting his stomach.

    Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow, ?You?ve named it??

    ?Her, and yes,? the padawan shot his master an offended look, ?When you feel the first kick, it?s hard to keep calling your baby an ?it.??

    This was going too far. ?You felt ? her ? kick??

    ?Yup, during lunch. Then I felt the morning sickness, and knew for certain that I was going to have a baby.? As he spoke, the initial mask of discomfort found its way back to his face, ?You kn
  2. PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2001
    star 4

    OH man! That was hilarious!

    *wipes a tear from his eye* [face_laugh]

    That was priceless!

    "You've already named it?" Ahahah!! I LOVE IT!
  3. obaona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Reminds me of a fic I read where Obi thought he'd started his period. Oh, the things we do to our poor, naive Obi. :D

    Great short story, Antigone.
  4. TheSwedishJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 15, 2001
    star 4

    This was great. :D I loved the girlfriend line. Obi wants a kid but he still thinks girls have cuddies. [face_laugh] Great job, Anti.

    ~Swede :p
  5. PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2001
    star 4
    Um.. I think it's Cooties... and they do!

    Anyways, more people need to see this and laugh! UP!
  6. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    ROFLMBO!!!!! Ooooh, maaaan . . . My stomach hurts now . . . That was good. Now, is this just a one-post, or are you going to continue with it? Please? :D

  7. obi_ew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    :_| Too cute for words!
  8. Cascadia Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
  9. athenerva Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2002
    This is just as funny as when I first read it.
  10. sabercrazy Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2002
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

  11. Alybrylla Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
    This story gets 5 [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] out of 5 :D
  12. Psycho-Freak Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 4
    [face_laugh] That was hilarious! [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Poor Obi-Wan! :p

    This was going too far. ?You felt ? her ? kick?? [face_laugh] My cheeks hurt from laughing too much!
  13. jedimarika Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 27, 2002

    Great story what would obi say next, i have
    read all your story's, but this is really
    the best.

    great work.
  14. Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Oh my goodness!! That was too funny!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Poor clueless Obi-Wan!
  15. PadawanKitara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  16. JediClare Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    The edges of Obi-Wan?s mouth pulled slightly into a confused frown, "But, everything happened that Master Hilum said would happen when you?re going to have a baby."

    This time, Qui-Gon laughed outright, "It only appeared so, my Padawan." A new concern at the boys words, however, rose up quickly, "Obi-Wan, you haven't...you don?t have a girlfriend ? do you?"

    The padawan made another face, this one of disgust, "Ew, no! Why would I want one of those?"

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] That was terrific, Antigone!
  17. LittleJedi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 4
    [face_laugh] Great stuff - very funny! :D

    Poor little Obi-Wan... ;)
  18. astroblue Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2002
    star 3
  19. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    Hee hee hee hee [face_laugh]

    This was just what the doctor ordered for someone stuck at work late. So wonderfully funny. Poor Obi sure, but also poor Qui. Having to have "that talk".

  20. Antigone Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2002
    star 1
    Wow! Maybe I should have checked this more often, I had no clue that it had this much FB. Thank you! I really only did this to vent some frustration - the thought that people believed me to ACTUALLY write a fic about Obi with a bun in the oven just...creeped me out. :D Hence this fic.

    I'm glad that I made stomachs hurt. :D True sign that people liked it, lol.

    Jedimarika - glad you liked, but a bit disturbing to me that you find this to be my best work. :D

    Again, thanks everyone for the wonderful comments. Very nice to know that my first attempt at humor was not ill recieved.



  21. Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    This was awesome Antigone!!! I loved how Obi-Wan assumed all his symtoms were indicating a pregnancy!!!

    I'd be very interested to see more of Qui-Gon's little talk with him! :D :D
  22. Wild_Huntress Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
  23. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Awww that was sooo cute! [face_laugh] Loved it Antigone! :D
  24. garrettendi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 19, 2001
    star 4
    The master was fairly certain enduring nine months of Obi-Wan?s complaints would have been less painful, but this had to be done.


    if you ever do another comedy story i am definitely going to read it.
  25. Master_Comedy_Kitty Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2002
    star 4
    LMAO!! OMG! THAT WAS TOO FUNNY! *bows* the crappy comedian bows to you. Kudos!
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.