Misguided attempts to connect to the OT (humor)

A young Tarkin, assigned to build the Death Star, whines that he was "gonna go into Coruscant to pick up some power converters!"

This, by the way, also explains why the Death Star took twenty years to build: Tarkin wasted too much time with his friends. Either that or the construction crew ran out of power converters.

 

The sleek metal that makes the Republic ships look suave will be stripped and melted down. This will give all the ships in the OT their rough exteriors. The metal will be used to make a Palpatine statue.

 

all battle droids will spontaneously combust, which explains why none are seen in episodes 4-6.

 

Jar jar: I´m your father
Chewie: Nooooooooooooo
it would be more like:

Jar Jar: Exqueeeeeze me! Meesa your father!
Chewie: GGGGGGGGGlllllllllllrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
Jar Jar: How rude!

 

New here, but here is my go.

* Yoda will a have a brief moment with the darkside as he go's ape on some Ewoks yelling " The only cute muppet I am!"

* Anakin to Padme,
Anakin: Knock Knock.
Padme: Who's there?
Anakin: Join me or die!!

* Obi-Wan will pommel C3PO with a bat shortly before erasing his memory.

* Chewie attempts to eat baby Han.

* Mark Hamill whilst dressed in diaper, will play baby Luke.

* An order is given out to make a vulnerable spot on the Death Star plans, just for kicks.

* We find out Jar-Jar is a Sith Lord working for Palpatine.

 

I want to see Yoda dropped off at Dagobah by Obi-Wan, WITh a yellow ladder, in case a young Jedi named Luke Skywalker might show up in his X-Wing...

 

An Episode III character possessing incredible strength rips the ears off a Gundark.

 

Clone troopers summarily execute all hair-stylists of the Old Republic, explaining the cheesy hairdos in A New Hope.

Severe budget limitations of transforming into an Empire forces elegant shiny spacecraft into retirement in favor of crappy rejects from Junkyard Wars.

Intergalactic Clearence Sale at Short and Tall Store of Tatooine explains an over abundence of gorilla costumes in the Empire.

Clone troopers summarily kill all acting coaches of the Old Republic...

Tatooine's popularity explained by presence of best hash brownies in the Republic.

Revelation of Governor Tarkin as Dooku's ugly kid brother.

A few scenes with Ewoks, Wampas, or Wookies "carpet surfing" after being infected with seperatist pin-worms.


Man, would that be great.

 

A 10-year old Han Solo wins the Falcon from a 12-year old Lando Calrissian.

We've already seen Anakin, Luke, and Leia as kids, but why stop there? Toddlers Wedge, Hobbie, Biggs, and Porkins have a hilarious adventure in which they sneak into a prototype X-wing and accidently blow up one of the Emperor's shipyards.

A full hour of the movie is dedicated to the life of BoShek, in order to prepare the audience for his momentous introduction in ANH.

Anakin fights in the Clone War, then serves as a navigator on a spice freighter, then is killed by another pupil of Obi-Wan's named Darth Vader. He is then resurrected and turns to the Dark Side, whereupon he changes his name to Darth Vader. It is thus shown that neither Owen nor Obi-Wan lied to Luke, after all.

Moff Tarkin, tired of being stuck with such a dull title, vows to get the word "Grand" placed in there somewhere.

A couple of Geonosians, as a prank, steal the Death Star plans and add an exposed exhaust shaft to the blueprints. Their comment: "Boy, won't they be surprised when they catch this!"

 

20-minute rave/sex scene added, for no real reason.

 

@ Damon!

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

great Damon!!!! struck me kind of odd why Reloaded had that.. and not the OT.. oh wait.. the OT basically was one big orgy.. according to a certain thread here that shall go nameless...

 

* Chewie attempts to eat baby Han.




Make palptine allergic to cats, dont ask me why just do it

the title is "Jedi Leaves, Might Return Later, Not Really Sure Yet Though"

 

Last line of the movie, Obi-Wan tells Owen: "This boy is a new hope. Unless the Empire strikes back, he should herald in the return of the Jedi."

 

Someone asks why Clone Trooper TK421 isn't at his post.

 

Anakin and Owen share a passionate kiss, mirroring Luke and Leia in ESB!

 

Palpatine attempts to make a Wookie Clone Army. He orders them to be 3x as large. The Kinosans mess up the order, and makes them 1/3 of the size.

Palpatine, disgust-banishes them to Endor...hoping the local animals would rid him of the failed experiment.

 

Palpatine's first order as Emperor is compulsary sideburns in the Imperial army.

 

After Anakin turns to the Dark Side Obi-Wan says "You just betrayed and murdered yourself...from a certain point of view."

 

lol
In a freak accident, every single one of the Clone Troopers bump their heads on doors and knock the fin off the tops of their helmets.

 

We will actually get to see some of those red gaurds of the Emperors actually fight!! Only to be.. accidently get knocked by someone into the Sarlacc Pit.

 

After Anakin turns to the Dark Side Obi-Wan says "You just betrayed and murdered yourself

That is great stuff!

! !

 

Realizing that their night of passion would ruin their friendship, R2d2 and C3p0 get a volentary mind wipe. The tech guy, misreading the form, wipes out 20 years of memory, instead of the 20 hours memory wipe they asked for.

 

After Anakin turns to the Dark Side Obi-Wan says "You just betrayed and murdered yourself...from a certain point of view."

x 1138

Comedic gold right there.

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

I would also like to express my fondness for that particular joke.