Misguided attempts to connect to the OT (humor)

In order to tie the movies in with the Expanded Universe books, Lucas to allow Episode III to be written by good writers.

 

Anakin finds out he's related to everyone on Tatooine which drives him to the dark side & Luke later discovers htat Cammie is also his sister.

 

-Owen and Beru give birth to a son named Mark Hammil, so the Muppet Show episode is still canon.

-Obi-Wan discovers the tremor in the force that allows you to travel to Alternate Universes, so TESBY and all AU fanfics are still canon.

-Greedo shows up in the following scene.

GREEDO: Going somewhere, Skywalker?
ANAKIN: Greedo, I was just going to see Palpatine. Tell Jabba...
OBI-WAN: Wait a minute. Greedo, you can't be here. This exchange has already been done.
GREEDO: What are you talking about?
OBI-WAN: "A New Hope".

They then watch his scene from ANH.

[/"The Formula" reference]

 

-Early in the movie we will see the very first Imperial Class Star Destroyer. The Emperor will christen it: Spaceball One... creating the appropriate connection with Spaceballs.

 

Padme shows Bail Organa how to hide food in her hair for when she's on the run and needs to survive a few days. She uses cinnamon buns as an example. This is later passed on to Leia.

 

LOL good one!

 

*In a short scene, Vader's helmet is designed by whoever designed Watto's ugly little headcovering in AOTC.

*Tie Fighter design is revealed to be the product of Raith Seinar's kids playing with an erector set, hence the shoddy design.

*Rancor is actually shown to be a Geonosian who's had too much of Yoda's stew spiked with TATOOINE blue milk (keeping with the whole Tatooine makes the GFFA go 'round).

 

All lines and action sequences in the movie are deleted and in a Monty Python and the Holy Grail type reference replace it with one line said in sequence by everyone on set "I've got a bad feeling about this." End of movie.

or

Qui-Gon comes back in spirit form and reveals that he picked the Chosen One by rolling a dice.

An explanation of why the Imperials all have British accents and why the Rebels have a Yankee dialect. Just something I would personally like explained.

 

How about this:

We get a solid 45 minutes of Obi-wan trying to get Padme away from Anakin. She's reluctant to leave however, cause she's really digging the leather, the helmet, and the breathing thing.

 

Group of clones witness a TC-14. They note that it is "quite a thing to see".


(Watch the Ewoks during the first-meeting-Threepio scene... two of them exchange the words: "That guy's wise." "Martin Short.")

Heh, actually, the line is:
EWOK 1: That guy's wise
EWOK 2: More than I am short

 

Anakin sustained his injuries during a scuba diving accident amongst a colo-clawfish feeding frenzy.

 

All characters not apearing in the original trilogy are mysteriously sent to Alderaan at the end of the film - many because of a letter which states they may have already won.

In order to build his body parts Vader salvages some pieces from 3P0 including a memory chip of the past then years which he thinks simply isn't needed anymore.

The cloners move their fascilities to Naboo. all traces of Naboo are erased from the galactic record.

 

Han Solo is actually one of the small Jedi children in the backround and managed to be one of the only Jedi children to escape upon the destruction of the Jedi temple.

Chewbacca finds him freezing and brings him the guts of a Ton-Ton to keep him warm and Han never forgot the smell.

Explaining why he was able to use the light saber (small memory of Jedi training) so easily to open a Ton Ton and save Luke from freeazing to death.

 

Tarkin looking for Padme finds Leia playing on the ground in the same room. As tarkin interogates her looking for Obi One and the rumored baby boy. Padme tried to stay silent and had a sickly look. Padme finally dies as the foul stentch somes from tarkins mouth.

Upon picking baby Leia, baby Leai vomits from the foul stentch of his breath but lives because of the Force. Leia now remembers her mother as sad and quiet because of this instance plus recognizes Tarkin's foul stentch anywhere

 

Emperor Palpatine suffers a major Space cold explaining his voice change and memory in the ESB. He regains his voice in time for ROTJ and remembers Luke is Vader's son

 

Mace Windu and Padme's security captain actually die in the Clone Wars before Episode 3 starts making Episode 3 and 4 the only unpolitically correct films in the star wars saga.

 

Obi One finds out Dex is killed during the Clone Wars in an acccident. Dex was trying to verify the, you know, the size of their... Pocket book. Obi One is saddened and changes his name to Ben.

 

Uncle Owen fiercly beat Luke as a child trying to remove any memory he may have of his birth. Explaining why the death of Obi One hurt him more than seeing his Aunt and Uncle as skeletons.

 

In Episode 3, we see Boba Fett scratches his father's helmet up trying to remove the remains of his father's head still inside.

 

As Obi Wan is fighting Anakin he says

Anakin "Palpatine doesn't like you"
Obi-Wan"I'm sorry"
Anakin "I don't like you either. I'm a wanted man. I have killed Jedi on 10 systems."
Obi-Wan "I'll be careful"
Anakin "YOU'LL BE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!'

 

Obi-Wan will team up with a noble, talking Krayt Dragon (voiced by Sean Connery) and the 2 will battle the evil prince Anakin (who's life was saved by giving him a piece of the Dragon's heart). The 3 will have a balls-out lightsaber battle on a Tatooine dune. The Krayt Dragon will sacriface himself so that the evil prince Anakin will die. His last words will be something about Obi-Wan looking "to the stars" for a new hope. It is his skeleton we see lying in the desert in Episode 4. It will make that scene all the more poignant.

 

This may have been posted already but I didnt take the time to see so I apologize if it has.

During his recovery from the fight with his former mentor, anakin is watching CNN and hears this very deep commanding voice say "This is CNN". He then turns to the med droid and says make my resperator helm sound like that. Hence how Anakin gets his deep voice as Darth Vader.

 

osum yours is the best yet!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

one of two options, the droids experiment with death sticks, hence the memory wipe.

or, they get their memory wipe, go to tattoine for a short bit, and threepio experiements iwth a death stick but r2 refuses. hence why he knows which way settlesments are in ANH

 

Other Connections:
- Obi-Wan tells anakin that there's a small chance that Luke and Leia might actually be his causing their friendship to end and forcing Anakin to the darkside.
- Anakin first wears a white version of the Vader suit. After an accident with a cup of coffee and a jelly filled doughnut he decides black would be better.
- Mace Windu will stand trial for molesting a few of the 18 year old female padawans. After his conviction the judges order that no one will know of Mace pass Episode 3. (still enforced well into episode 48 where we find out it was consentual after all causing the "Mace ban" to be lifted).
- Padame gets strung up on drugs and porn after she finds out that Obi-Wan told Anakin about their one-night stand,forcing Child Services to take away the kids.
- Han solo makes his first appearance as a punk 16 year old who drives a Century Eagle but tired of it shuting off on him he trades it in at the dealers for a Millenium Falcon.

That's only a few of many.