Before - Legends Mission Of Mercy. Qui & Obi. Ch 2 - the mission begins. Posted 103106.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Valairy Scot, Jun 19, 2006.

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  1. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Title: Mission Of Mercy
    Author(s): Valairy_Scot
    Timeframe: JA
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, OCs galore
    Genre: Drama
    Keywords: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn,
    Summary: Four Jedi teams are sent to help save a planet facing famine and disease. Qui-Gon is determined it's time to let his almost 17 year old padawan learn to deal with things on his own, but they will find much more than they expected during the mission. They, too, face becoming victims when additional aid cannot get through, and they are trapped on the planet without transport, and eventually, food themselves.

    Notes: Inspired by encouragement to expand on [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=23724151&brd=10475]A Mission Gone Wrong[/link]. I usually complete a story before posting it, this story is still stuck in the middle, so the posting schedule is uncertain. Original story inspired, believe it or not, by an episode of ER which featured the terrible events playing out in Darfur.



    Mission Of Mercy



    Try to save a starving planet.

    No, not even that. Feed the hungry. Save them, no, for that was out of our hands. Help them live until that help arrived ? that was our mission.

    Standing before the Jedi Council, my mind wandered for a few minutes in abstract contemplation, musings brought on, no doubt, by the mission assigned to us. I knew what lay ahead of us, all too well.

    Death. Suffering. Pain. Greed and arrogance.

    We see it all. The bad and the good. We see it, we experience it, and we are untouched by it, or so the galaxy thinks. We Jedi know better.

    This mission sounded deceptively simple, yet I knew this would be a long and emotionally hard assignment, especially for the padawans assigned to it.

    To be a Jedi is to face many things and to see many things, many of them terrible, and many of them not. We often are where we were sent, because of some urgent need, some sudden tragedy or catastrophe, not just conflict. We will see things that can wring our hearts dry, and that is the reason we as Jedi let emotions flow through us, for few beings can stand the constant assault of such images.

    We are Jedi, but we are still sentient beings. We feel, we hurt, and we grieve; perhaps more than others, due to our connection to the Force. Perhaps less than others, for we must be able to go on, help others, face pain and suffering without turning away in pain ourselves.

    Wherever we go, no matter the desperation or pain we face, it is worse for the beings we are there to help. With luck and the Force, we can alleviate their suffering, and leave behind something better.

    For us, it is on to another place and other beings, more pain and more suffering. It is not an easy life we lead, though rewarding, as long as we remember the good we bring and the good we do ? and accept that there is so much left undone.

    It is a life that can be hard on our padawans, the Jedi apprentices we Jedi knights choose by age thirteen and guide into full understanding of their gift ? their awareness of the Force. It is as much our duty as our need, to help them learn to release their emotions into the Force, for to continue as a Jedi, one has to temper compassion with dispassion.

    Part of helping them is letting go as they grow, and I knew it was time for me to start to back off and let my own padawan stretch his own wings. He was ready.

    I was not sure I was.

    I felt Obi-Wan behind and to my side standing attentively listening to the mission briefing. He would shortly be seventeen standard years old, a senior padawan. I relied on him without reservation; he had proven his value long ago. He was a worthy companion, my student, and my friend.

    My padawan had already seen much in his young life. I had been there to ease his dismay and pain, and sometimes even anger, at what he encountered, but he was now old enough to handle his own emotions. I would not always be there for him; I had to let him grow up.

    We were four Jedi teams standing before the Council being briefed on o
  2. Fifilla Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    A new story from you [face_dancing] and I'm the first one to review! :D

    I've read "A Mission Gone Wrong" a while ago (I didn't review it - shame on me!) and I'm curious what will happen when they arrive on the planet. I think there won't be a lot of action in this story but you describe the emotions of the characters so very well that I probably won't miss the action.
    I think that was a very good description of the emotions a Master has. It really must be very difficult to throw his Padawan in such a situation where you can do almost nothing to help.
    Oh, and I really like it when you write from Qui's POV!
  3. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Fifilla: think there won't be a lot of action in this story but you describe the emotions of the characters so very well that I probably won't miss the action

    Actually, I expect there to be, within the context of the story, lots more action than in my Saga story (A Good Place to Die).
    There is definitely being caught in water, caught in fire, crashing...and that's just what I have written so far.

    This first chapter just really sets up the mission, and boy did I have a lot of trouble finding my "voice" for this first chapter. I'm reasonably satisfied with it. I think the problem is writing 1st Person POV, for me anyway, is less rumination and more dialogue/action/reaction and this story starts off just the opposite.
  4. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Wow! What an opening! :eek:

    Try to save a starving planet.

    No, not even that. Feed the hungry. Save them, no, for that was out of our hands. Help them live until that help arrived ? that was our mission.

    Standing before the Jedi Council, my mind wandered for a few minutes in abstract contemplation, musings brought on, no doubt, by the mission assigned to us. I knew what lay ahead of us, all too well.

    Death. Suffering. Pain. Greed and arrogance
    .

    And where was my PM??? Weren't you told to keep me informed of any new postings? [face_shame_on_you] So now I'm asking to be on the PM list for this one, it looks incredible! =D=
  5. MASTER_KAYM Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 1
    What a great beginning! I'm really happy you started this one!

    It sounds like the boys are in for trouble (again!) [face_worried]
  6. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Great opening. Loved all the thoughts about what Qui-Gon has experienced and what he wanted Obi-Wan to be aware of. Loved the last few lines. Really set up the action to come.

    Please put me on your PM list for this.
  7. ___Sithspawn___ Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2004
    star 3
    It's great that you decided to expand on that vig; it was awesome.

    I'm really looking forward to seeing how this unfolds - A Mission Gone Wrong left us hanging. That, and I want the gory details and angst.

    Put me on the PM list.
  8. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    oooh...Put me on the PM list to if you'd be so kind!

    heartwrenching...very well done angst
  9. Fifilla Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Will you continue this story? Please!
  10. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    MamaVader: Wow! What an opening! Well, I certainly rewrote it enough times ? it had best be good.

    Master_Kaym: It sounds like the boys are in for trouble (again!). Of course, that is what makes a story ? a story.

    Dianethx: Qui-Gon?s thoughts and how it plays out is the emotional hook of the story, which will pull from the action.

    Sithspawn: ? you want gory details and angst ? just wait!

    Lady_Snow-Kaguya: ? lots of emotion in this one.

    Fifilla:: Okay?okay?deep sigh...here goes....

    Note: Chapters 2 and 3 give me the most problem with any long story ? how to set up the plot and I still haven?t figured out how/why a planet in a galactic civilization with FTL and the Force would rely on ground transportation and animals! That being said, should my readers come up with something plausible, I may rework some of this section.

    Master Ceil and Jiam d'alvo were minor characters in To Spare His Heart, if any remembers them.



    Chapter 2 A Planet in Turmoil

    Our destination was in the furthest reaches of the Outer Rim, a planet little known and of no significance. Self-contained and relatively isolated, it had discovered it had neighbors, several solar systems away, only a few centuries ago, when the Rexians had first made contact.

    As with any planet shocked to discover it was not alone in harboring intelligent life, it had taken years for the populace to begin to feel comfortable with the notion. The planet was largely agrarian, though the citizens were technologically advanced enough to quickly grasp the even more advanced technology of the greater galactic civilization.

    Even so, groups organized and fought against, as well as fought for, wider contact with other civilizations. The planet was organized into several small political units, but a planetary wide government of sorts had been agreed to about the time the planet petitioned for inclusion into the Republic. It was a confederacy, for the existing units ? small nation states ? were still self-governing with separate laws. Delibrans still largely thought of themselves as Poranians or Saldekirkians before they were Delibrans.

    The central government?s powers were largely ceremonial and diplomatic. It was the planetary government that had contacted the Jedi.

    The nations were remarkably determined in what they adopted and what they rejected. Primary modes of transportation were ground vehicles ? quickly adapted to repulser-lift technology ? and animals. There was little need for air traffic lanes or landing pads, and there were only a few long-range transmitters on planet ? all in the central government buildings.

    The Holonet had been enthusiastically adopted and the ways of the Republic were quickly learned. The Delibrans were curious and friendly, but decidedly determined to cling to old ways unless the value of new ones was proven. They had only recently become members of the Galactic Republic, and largely at the urging of the Lankans. The seat of government, and the nation holding it, held the same name, and was the nation most eager to maintain ties with the Republic.

    Delibrans were of standard humanoid stock, with enough genetic variation to fit in on any planet of humanoids, although it was said a Delibran could look at another and know what nation the being was from. According to their creation theory, their ancestors had been forced to land on this planet hundreds of generations previously, accounting for their willingness to accept the possibility of off-worlders and their unwillingness to embrace too much technology.

    Delibra was a number of days travel from Coruscant, even in a fast ship, and a few more in the slightly slower transport loaned to us. I wondered how many favors had been called in, by the Chancellor, those few senators aiding the cause, and the Jedi Council itself. Loading the four smaller ships, laden with cargo, in the vast cargo deck was a delicate task given to one of the better Jedi pilots, as the four s
  11. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I really liked how you showed Obi-Wan helping the younger padawans in lessons and just conversation. It shows a kind and gentle heart. I also liked that the master told Qui-Gon about it so that he was aware of what a good padawan he had.

    The description of the planet sounds like they are about to collapse and all the people that they can't evacuate will die. They may have had a technical way of helping the climate but it doesn't sound like it would get there in time.

    Good job with the tension and the way the Jedi interact. Looking forward to more.
  12. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I really love the OCs you've got here, and the interaction between all the Jedi, both Masters and Padawans. :)


    ?Ah, yes. For someone like you who is in as touch as you are with the Living Force, I imagine it must be especially hard,? Ceil agreed. He looked at our padawans, whispering together and turned back to me. ?Our apprentices are not as attuned as are you. Let us hope that helps shield them.?

    ?Obi-Wan is more attuned to one aspect of the Living Force than I think either one of us realizes,? I said thoughtfully. ?It is true I am forever admonishing him to be aware of the Living Force, yet his compassion runs deep and he has not yet learned to temper that with acceptance. It is rare in my experience to be so little in touch with that aspect of the Force, and yet have that deep a connection to it.?

    ?There are many ways to connect to the Living Force, Qui-Gon,? Ceil said. ?You connect in all aspects and therefore you feel it deeply in all ways and all things. The rest of us connect in fewer ways ? your padawan through his compassion and mine in his curiosity. I, myself,? he shrugged, ?I connect more intellectually than emotionally.?

    It took another Jedi master to point out something obvious. His words made sense of something I had struggled to understand without success for some time. What was lacking in my padawan was as much in my own eyes, as in his sensitivity to the Force. I was grateful for the lesson
    .

    For me, this section really stood out as powerful. =D=
  13. Veloz Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2004
    star 6
    Oh i'm very intrigued by this fic... great job setting everything up so far! =D=

    Please add me to ur pm list [face_praying] :D

    [face_peace]
  14. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1


    *has a bad feeling about this*


    Tatooine joke *snort* lovely. I can already feel the suspense!
  15. Fifilla Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Thank you so much for updating this [:D]

    It took another Jedi master to point out something obvious. His words made sense of something I had struggled to understand without success for some time. What was lacking in my padawan was as much in my own eyes, as in his sensitivity to the Force. I was grateful for the lesson.
    I loved the explanation about the different perceptions of the living force and Qui-Gon's reaction to it.

    The four Jedi teams seems to be very different, you described them very good. I can easily see them in my mind. The interaction between the Masters, between the Padawans and between each Master and his/her Padawan is very interesting.

    ?If you so enjoy it, let us hope someday you set foot on Tatooine, then,? I said firmly, and chuckled as I turned to look at him, for the sweat was already beading on his forehead.
    ?If the Force wills it,? Obi-Wan grinned, knowing there was close to no chance we would ever be sent there, as that hot planet out in the furthest reaches of the galaxy was not part of the Republic. One would only go there out of necessity, or if one wished to hide; no one would ever willingly go there just for curiosity.
    As I turned back, I could have sworn I heard Obi-Wan mutter, ?Thank the Force Tatooine?s an unaffiliated planet; I hate hot planets,? under his breath.

    That was great but also very sad if one knows Obi-Wan's future.
  16. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    I love the tension you are showing between the Senate's responses and what actually needs to be done. I really like how such a horrible scene can become a testing and training ground for all of these Jedi--I love seeing the young padawans growing up. I love their conversations with each other. I can't wait to find out Obi-Wan's reactions to everything he will see here, and Qui-Gon's reactions as well. Much =D=, VS! Pm me, porfavor!
  17. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4



    I love how Qui-Gon speaks of Obi-Wan[:D]

    ?Obi-Wan is more attuned to one aspect of the Living Force than I think either one of us realizes,? I said thoughtfully. ?It is true I am forever admonishing him to be aware of the Living Force, yet his compassion runs deep and he has not yet learned to temper that with acceptance. It is rare in my experience to be so little in touch with that aspect of the Force, and yet have that deep a connection to it.?

    Nicely done[face_dancing]
  18. ardavenport Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Very interaction between the Jedi! Interesting that Qui-Gon is seeing new things in Obi-Wan through his relationship with the other padawans. Very nice indeed.

    Their mission sounds so difficult; it seems like so much can go wrong before anything can go right, if it ever does? The Jedi will be tested. This isn't a simple, get-the-bad-guy kind of thing; it something really hard.

    I look forward to more!
  19. Starwen_Skywalker Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2005
    star 1
    I'm so glad you've decided to continue this story. It has a lot of great possibilities. I can't wait to read more.

    Please add me to your pm list [face_praying]
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