MM: Theresa MacNamera's Room

I loved him. I've always loved him. And I'd do anything to make sure he was mine.

Ever since the first time I saw him in highschool, I knew we were meant to be together. epic was intelligent, witty, atheletic, successful in all he did, and oh so very handsome. I'd walk my dog past his house in hopes that we'd run into each other and he'd recognize me. It took him a long time to notice me - the first time he spoke to me was senior year - but once he finally did, we became friends. We studied together, hung out after school, and danced at prom.

After graduation, we became romantically involved which was just what I wanted. We were together for 3 years and I was happy. I knew about the other girls, of course, but I was willing to overlook that. We all have our little infidelities. Plus I knew Torrance could never hold a candle to me. I knew about everything he did, everywhere he went, everyone he spoke to. I was his girlfriend, I was supposed to know such things. After those three years though, we took a break. Well, he said it was over, but I knew he didn't mean that. He felt smothered, he said, wanted to see other people.

So we took a long break. I didn't see him for a year. Well, I didn't officially see him but I was watching him, of course. I'd sit in my car across the street from his house and watch him through the windows. Then one day he called me up and asked if I wanted to go to dinner. I was so happy! We were finally back together! When I told him how excited I was, he didn't look too happy. He said he just wanted to be friends, but I know he didn't mean that.

A few months later I mentioned it again and he got mad at me. He told me that we'd never be together again and that I was crazy. Now, I get very touchy if people call me crazy. It's always been a pet peeve of mine, so I got a little irrational. I brandished a knife at him and told him that if I couldn't have him, no one could. We all have our moments, I'm sure you know what it's like. I didn't think getting a little physical with him like that would be a big deal, but apparently it is. I had to live in a hospital for a year until they decided I was alright to go home.

I had spoken to him a few times in the years that followed. I knew we were meant to be together and one day he would see. I just had to keep reminding him is all. Sometimes he'd talk to me for a little while, but most of the time, he'd tell me to leave him alone or he'd call the police. Such a silly, epic was. Always joking around. I was so happy when I got my invitation to the reunion. I knew he finally realized the truth about us. But when I got there, he was flirting with all the girls, not just me. He was even looking at that tomboy Melody in a way I'd never seen him. I hadn't had a problem with this previously, but this time, it filled me with a rage I had never felt before. I just wanted to...

No, I won't think about that. He's gone now. The only person I ever loved is dead. And I don't know how I feel about that.

//lies on her bed where she's been for the past 8 hours

I feel a kind of relief now that he's gone I think. I still love him, of course. Just, the need to always know where he is is gone. It's quite liberating actually. I can just sit here on my bed and hum to myself. No worries, no cares. It's almost like the feeling I'd get in the hospital when they'd give me those wonderful pills. I wonder if I have any left...

I wonder where everyone else is...I'm sure they're all watching me. I wonder if I should try to be friendly. I was always civil to them but I never got much of a response. I don't want them to suspect...

But I haven't done anything wrong. Yes, I'll be friendly and see if I can find out if they suspect me.

I think I'll just lie back and take a nap...Oh look...butterflies.

Here we go again.

//knocks three times

Ho hum!

//hesitates

Someone's actually knocking on my door? Huh...Oh it must be Noel. He's been talking to everyone.

//opens door

Hi Noel, come on in.

Hello, Theresa. Mind if I ask you a few questions?

Sure thing...Noel.

Have a seat.

Yes. Hm.

Let me tell you a story. About a Japanese monk.

There once was a Japanese monk who built himself a temple of solid gold. And every day, he gazed at it, admired it, loved it, dreamed it. He loved it so much, it became the fulfillment of his life.

But one day, he decided he didn't want to see it deteriorate. So what did he do? He destroyed it.

//blinks

That makes sense I guess. But...what's the point?

//rubs his chin

Hm-hm. Yes. You were in your room when epic was killed. Isn't that right?

//fidgets nervously

Yes. I had been in here for a few hours. I'd left the door open in case he walked by...

//looks down at her hands

Ah. I see.

Did you see anyone walk past your door that night?

No, no one passed by, unless they did after I fell asleep.

Come on, think. Didn't you see anyone? Crystal?

I believe she wore a blue dress that night.

Think.

No I'm pretty sure she didn't. I did hear voices though...

You did? What did you hear?

Well, I could hear muffled voices coming from the bathroom. I know one of them was epic, and the other was a girl but I really didn't listen hard enough to see who it was. I didn't want to know. Most of the time I couldn't understand what they were saying but there was one time...

//hesitates

Yes? Go on.

I guess I just never realized how cruel he was. I never noticed when he did it to me...

They started raising their voices and I heard him yell, "You've just been worthless all your life!"

//looks up sharply

He was mocking her. You could hear it in his voice. It was horrible. I thought about going in there to see what was going on, but I didn't. I just shut the door so I didn't have to hear anymore. He was horrible.

//begins to cry

//nods

Yes. That's... yes.

//folds his arms

Well.

//puts his hands in his pockets

Well! That is very interesting. I think I know enough. Thank you for your time, Theresa.

No problem. If you need anything else, just ask.

Does everyone think it's me? I know they all think I'm crazy...

//Closes the door after Noel and flops back down on the bed

I should get out and stretch my legs in a bit. I've been cooped up in here too long.

Who knows, who knows...

//leaves without looking