Mojave Desert Fan Force Fan Fic.

Discussion in 'Mojave Desert CA' started by Stridarious, Feb 21, 2003.

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  1. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Post all your tales and stories in here, then we as the members can review and make comments based on what we feel of yor story.
  2. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    The New Sith Order: "Dark Legacy"
    By: Stridarious, & Mertroid
    Based on the writings of the RPG players

    Note from the Author:

    It was to my understanding that when I originally formatted the story together with the introduction, it lacked the proper manner in which I was to describe the basis that revolved during Athrenino?s reign.
    So in turn I decided to write this introduction as read by the author to give the reader descriptive editions to help ease many questions following many of the characters and places within my novel.
    Although this is not as I had once intended I have seen that my description and follow-up for the readers are quite difficult to understand, and possibly in turn cause confusion as the reader gets further into the novel.
    The following is in the formation of a recount created by a Sith Lord who was present at the time of these events as to bring you the reader up to speed on any of the following occurrences, which I have not pointed out in my novel.
    So, with this in mind as you read this section please form a mental image to help you understand many points, which can come up later within the story.

    Introduction:

    In the year 4567, Lord Athrenino, age 28, rose to the occasion and prepared his people for a time of darkness, a time of great famine, and war. However, many choose to disbelieve his statements and separated from his powerful empire, on Iridonia. However whether believed or not, the day of the famine came and lessened many planted crops and fields, killing thousands. It was during this time that a new breed of Sith arose. Their main challenges made clear before them. They were men of power and wealth; men devoted to their duties with their young leader, and his choices throughout life, men of exceptional skills in combat, and knowledgeable in the ways of old.
    Athrenino stood over them and trained them up to fight brutally, and kill all who opposed him and his name.
    Therefore, it had been as it was, and was hoped to remain as it is with every thought of the burning urge to destroy and demolish, to create and to build the ultimate empire for the Sith, and an empire that would glorify their leader, Lord Athrenino?

    Chapter 1: ?A Lover?s Flame?

    Lord Athrenino, age 29, stood atop the third story balcony, overlooking the lush green Iridonian landscape. His eyes fixed, watching as the sunset off in the distance, disappearing behind the rolling hills. He sighed slightly and walked back inside, closing the tall wooden French doors behind him.
    ?I guess she?s not coming?? Athrenino mumbled, as he turned to walk towards the doors leading out of his study and into the long narrow passageway, which interwove between rooms.
    Looking back, he focused his eyes onto the approaching darkness. The candles, which encircled the room, faded out and Athrenino stepped into the hallway, starting his long walk to the outside garden where he would rest in the silence of the moment. On the way, he stopped to admire the empire he had constructed, Moreover, the power that he beheld. He was the first young ruler, and the last man of his stature to comprise the dark formation, a group devoted to the destruction of all. It was in this silent walk that he realized his wants and needs, he pushed those thoughts out and kept pursuing his goal, but in truth, they still lingered. The visions and emotions formed by the knowledge of Vanessa, the young Iridonian senator that pledge her love to him years earlier, and the hopes that she was the one and only person for him. His heart raced when around her and he felt at peace with her near, he felt himself and that was something not many could do to him. He smiled and turned to face the dark corridor, which disappeared slowly behind him as he neared the Garden gates.
    Unlatching the lock from the main rod iron gate, he stepped into the dark green world, which formed the small palace Garden. It was here and only here that he felt he could meditate in peace and silence.
    Passing by each indivi
  3. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Chapter 5: ?Dark Uprising?
    By: Stridarious

    Hidden Temple on Korriban:

    ?Athrenino?? Inferno hissed through his clenched teeth. ?Everyone knows I despise that man who took all of my fathers kingdom, and wasted it.?
    Inferno was a man of great knowledge in the force. A man who was to be the ultimate leader of the Sith Order, at least that was until Athrenino came along. His hatred grew and day by day, and he began to plan a plan so extraordinary that all would see his power, but as he prepared someone squealed on him and he was banned from the Sith order for an unproved attempt upon Athrenino?s life, and exiled to the world of Korriban. Where there he formed his ultimate union army, and waited his time to strike.
    He turned back throwing up his hands, clenching tightly against his bottom teeth.
    ?He caused my fathers death and my mother?s anguish?now because of him we, the great order of Hathor, has befallen to amount to dirt.?
    ?Yes milord, but what can we do to prevail and regain what was once yours?? asked Lord Thok a follower of Inferno and a powerful commander and chief amidst the new Sith regimen.
    ?We will hurt him as he has hurt us?? Inferno chuckled, ?We will attack his kingdom when he is down?we will not kill him quickly, no I?d rather make him suffer, I?d rather have him see his nation crumble before him and my statue go up in his place.?
    ?Yes, a slow death?? Thok replied looking out towards the ever-growing army amongst the dark Korriban mid-night skies. ?Just as he had done to us, we also must do to him??
    ?That is right Thok, prepare your men, we have someone to visit.? Inferno answered as he turned walking out onto the balcony, watching as the ships landed, loaded, and departed quickly, re-entering space, for their destination, Iridonia.
    ?Soon, I will take back what was once my fathers, and bring back that order for which he created.? Inferno mumbled as he stood his arms stretched looking out upon his men, Thok clearly visible behind him.
    ?Yes, milord?? Thok replied stepping back inside and walking down to the command center to notify his men of their quick depart to Iridonia.

    Athrenino?s Quarters on Iridonia:

    The Iridonian sun stretched a crossed the green grassy fields. Athrenino sat at his desk, looking upon the stack of papers only thinking of Vanessa, and his time the night before with her. He began to think of her well-being and wondered if her mission had proved to be a success.
    Then a sudden tap came upon his chamber door, he stood and stretched then walked over to the door and opened it.
    Before him stood a tall young man, an apprentice to a member of the council possibly Lord Geran.
    ?Yes, may I help you?? Lord Athrenino asked stepping towards the young man.
    Handing Athrenino a disk he replied, ?Yes milord, I have a message from a?um?Lord Brins, do you wish to accept it??
    ?Yes, and thank you?? Lord Athrenino replied ushering the apprentice quickly away, shutting the door tightly behind him.
    Opening his cloak, he reached inside and pulled out his small Comm. Link, then placed the disk firmly inside.
    ?Lord Brins?? he asked, ?What do you wish to speak to me of??

    Chapter 6: ?Rise of the Machines?
    By: BartSimpson-SithLord

    The huge machine rose on its thrusters into the air. With its Lightsaber weapon glistening off the platform, it gathered speed and was soon in the openness of space. The machine was called a Dodan. A mechanized suit of armor the size of a Corellian Corvette stood on its end. A cockpit located in its ?chest?, as all of the ships are designed to look like humanoids, controls it. Three of them were participating in this exercise, a raid on a decoy Super Star Destroyer. They headed in quick, and fast, using there Vulcan turbo-lasers to take down the shields in under a minute. The four vulcans were located on the chest and head of the Dodans. The super-star destroyer's own turbo lasers fired up and began pounding at the Dodans. The three ships were fast, but not fast en
  4. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Please do we have any reviews? Any comments on th above thread? I think that this is a great group effort story, and is well worth the work of those who helped.
  5. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Chapter 7 is coming. I'll have it up soon. :)
  6. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Sounds cool there Mertroid, but please take your time. There is no rush, in the meantime, what review would you perhaps give the story.
  7. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Yeah I know. It's just I like to get started on things quickly. :D
  8. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Chapter 7
    "Two Faces Meet"

    Landing in the outskirts of Tatooine, sand flew up from the ground as the silver Nubian ship came towards the ground to a landing. Landing with a soft thud, the door opened making a swishing noise. Vanessa came down the ramp with soft clamps upon the metal with her ebony cloak waving back and forth. All in black she was in, a tight leather outfit and her cloak was over her face, hiding it in shadows. The Sith clan crest she wore around her neck as she would need proof of being a Sith when going to meet this Inferno. Vanessa had a plan in her mind and hoped it would work. She needed to do this mission without failure or the Senate would be rather disappointed in her.
    Swinging a leg over her Sith Speeder, her feet fell upon the stands on each side. The Sith Speeder made an arch with and open cockpit to offer optimum visibility and a repulsorlift. The speeder carried no weapons for Vanessa was the type to go at a job with her firing blade rather than firing missiles or bombs. Slipping her gloved hands on the bars she gave a twist and a loud zum came from the device. Exceeding the acceleration to full max she zoomed off and down a rocky, hard, clay cliff down to the lower ground and was off to Mos Eisley. Flying past her was nothing all but sand and dust clouds behind her from her speeder. Her cloak whipped back as she focused on the approaching city before her.
    Arriving in Mos Eisley, the cities sandy domes with rough-cut arches glowed underneath the two suns of Tatooine. Creatures of all types paid no attention to anyone but themselves. Glares once and a while was given to whoever looked their way. Eopies pulled heavy luggage behind them and jawas looked around with their golden eyes staring. People wore earth tone clothes with pieces of cloth wrapped around their ankles and wrists to protect themselves from the sand. Footsteps wore down the sand in the city and rugged the city was. Junk dealers walked around looking for anyone who was in need of supplies so a big bargain they would receive. No one looked Vanessa?s way twice or even saw her sometimes. Walking through the disgusting city she headed towards the alleyways thinking the Sith would hide in darkness. Looking right and left to see if anyone was coming her way, Vanessa walked into the darkness. Cool it was in the alleyways for sunlight was hidden and dry as well.
    Vanessa had found a pair of stairs leading to a door that was underground. Heading down her boots scuffed the steps lightly but no sad came for wet they were. Blood stained the steps and rusty metal the rails were. Avoiding grabbing onto them Vanessa took one last glance up to the ground. Stopping at the orange, metal door a slot opened and two red eyes glared at her. The red eyes looked upon Vanessa and closed the slot. The door opened with no sound but one squeak. Vanessa stepped in and the door closed behind her. Looking around darkness was all around except a room ahead of her had white light shining out. Knowing that?s where the Sith would be, Vanessa didn?t think twice about what she was doing. Walking forward Vanessa thought if she should try to spy or just go there and try to get what she needed from this Inferno face to face. Vanessa knew she had to talk face to face.
    ?What is this old clan of Sith found?? a man in his mid 40s stood there with a hand up rubbing his chin.
    Tall he was and strong. He wore the colors of the Sith, scarlet and ebony. Intimidating he was to some, but to Vanessa he was not.
    ?I?m not sure Milord, we are trying to find that out, and this Lord of theirs is young and that?s all we know,? a Sith with green skin and big bulging eyes spoke.
    Turning around as they heard something Inferno and the other Sith stared at Vanessa. Her face was still hidden under her hood. She stood there in the doorway. The Sith was about to grab his lightsaber but Inferno waved his hand down and looked upon this unknown figure.
    ?I?m looking for a man named Inferno,? Vanessa spoke firmly and normally.
    Vanessa wasn?t afraid at all. Inf
  9. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    OKay allow me to explain. I made a terrible mistakewhn writtng out Chapter 5. Inferno is actually supposed to be on Tatoonie. So just change Korriban to Tattoonie. And the descriptions for Tatoonie in case you need them are sandy and hot. I will repost Chapters 5-7 later on tonight after I have adjusted them...lol
  10. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Okay I fixed my mistakes, sorry about that Mertroid especially not paying any attention to what I read in Chapter 4 I was so tied up with the writting Chapter 5 I forgot where everyone was, well i fixed it, so here it is. Chapters 5-7. Now lets see if there is any problems. :)

    Chapter 5: ?Dark Uprising?
    By: Stridarious

    Hidden Temple on Tatooine:

    ?Athrenino?? Inferno hissed through his clenched teeth. ?Everyone knows I despise that man who took all of my fathers kingdom, and wasted it.?
    Inferno was a man of great knowledge in the force. A man who was to be the ultimate leader of the Sith Order, at least that was until Athrenino came along. His hatred grew and day by day, and he began to plan a plan so extraordinary that all would see his power, but as he prepared someone squealed on him and he was banned from the Sith order for an unproved attempt upon Athrenino?s life, and exiled to the world of Tatooine. Where there he formed his ultimate union army, and waited his time to strike.
    He turned back throwing up his hands, clenching tightly against his bottom teeth.
    ?He caused my fathers death and my mother?s anguish?now because of him we, the great order of Hathor, has befallen to amount to dirt.?
    ?Yes milord, but what can we do to prevail and regain what was once yours?? asked Lord Thok a follower of Inferno and a powerful commander and chief amidst the new Sith regimen.
    ?We will hurt him as he has hurt us?? Inferno chuckled, ?We will attack his kingdom when he is down?we will not kill him quickly, no I?d rather make him suffer, I?d rather have him see his nation crumble before him and my statue go up in his place.?
    ?Yes, a slow death?? Thok replied looking out towards the ever-growing army that stood amongst the dark rock formations of the Tatooine mid-night skies. ?Just as he had done to us, we also must do to him??
    ?That is right Thok, and I have just the man for the job?meet Lord Hyrax, he will finish where we cannot.? Inferno answered as he turned walking out onto the balcony, with the tall dark hooded Sith Lord by his side watching as the ships landed, loaded, and departed quickly, re-entering space, awaiting their order to strike.
    ?Soon, I will take back what was once my fathers, and bring back that order for which he created.? Inferno mumbled as he stood his arms stretched looking out upon his men, Thok and Hyrax clearly visible behind him.
    ?Yes, milord?? Thok replied stepping back inside and walking down to the command center to notify his men of their plans, all the while Lord Inferno and Hyrax stood grinning as the thought of Lord Athrenino?s death spread a crossed their minds.
    ?Soon?? Hyrax replied grinning, ?Soon??

    Athrenino?s Quarters on Iridonia:

    The Iridonian sun stretched a crossed the green grassy fields. Athrenino sat at his desk, looking upon the stack of papers only thinking of Vanessa, and his time the night before with her. He began to think of her well-being and wondered if her mission had proved to be a success.
    Then a sudden tap came upon his chamber door, he stood and stretched then walked over to the door and opened it.
    Before him stood a tall young man, an apprentice to a member of the council possibly Lord Geran.
    ?Yes, may I help you?? Lord Athrenino asked stepping towards the young man.
    Handing Athrenino a disk he replied, ?Yes milord, I have a message from a?um?Lord Brins, do you wish to accept it??
    ?Yes, and thank you?? Lord Athrenino replied ushering the apprentice quickly away, shutting the door tightly behind him.
    Opening his cloak, he reached inside and pulled out his small Comm. Link, then placed the disk firmly inside.
    ?Lord Brins?? he asked, ?What do you wish to speak to me of??

    Chapter 6: ?Rise of the Machines?
    By: BartSimpson-SithLord

    The huge machine rose on its thrusters into the air. With its Lightsaber weapon glistening off the platform, it gathered speed and was soon in the openness of space. The machine was called a Dodan. A mechanized suit of armor the si
  11. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Chapter 8: ?Gambler?s Edge?
    By: BartSimpson-SithLord

    The trip to Ord Mantell was uneventful, and it gave Brins time to think of a plan. The room he had prepared for meditation was small, and cramped. It was only big enough for him to sit in a crossed leg position and that is where he concentrated. The whole way to the planet he concentrated, and meditated. He had contacted an informant before he had left Kuat. A man he had never seen before, but a trusted employee. The man worked the Sabacc tables on an orbiting casino. Brins would have to find this man and beat him three times at Sabacc. Which shouldn?t be hard as Brins had the force to aid him. The only catch would be the fact that the informant had no idea who Brins was. Not even what race or gender?

    The shuttle came out of hyperspace with a graceful jolt and Brins was alerted to his arrival. As he entered the cockpit, the Casino was contacting him.

    ?Unidentified shuttle, please state your name and business here at the Gambler?s Edge.?

    Brins reached down and activated the comm, ?This is Brins Hamid, and I?d really love to play some Sabacc.?

    ?Well, then, by all means you may land. Please direct your shuttle to the landing platform 56-B.? The man said.

    ?Yes, sir.? Brins replied, and soon he was on the Casino.


    The casino was beautiful. Gold lined the walls and there was a deep forest green carpeting to accent the hue of the gold. The tables were all made of Kashyykian Maple and Endorian Pine. Brins could not believe how gorgeous the surroundings were, and he could not help but wonder how much chaos he could cause here. Quickly, he headed to the Sabacc tables and searched for a man who was searching himself. He found the man through the force and walked over to the table. There was one other patron sitting at the table, a female. She wore a blue business suit that was tight enough to accentuate the fact that she was well endowed, and showed a bit of cleavage. Her hair was short and black, but she wore a pink headband to keep her bangs out of her eyes. On all accounts, though, she was beautiful. And Brins noticed this immediately.

    Brins took his seat with a graceful arrogance and simply stated, ?Deal me in.?

    The games went on and on. Brins knew he was cheating, using the force to manipulate the circuits as to give him pretty good hands. Yet, the girl would always get perfect Sabaccs. So then, he manipulated his plans, and soon they both were getting perfect Sabaccs. This was worrying the informant, as he did not know which of these master players he was looking for. Brins could feel the anxiety in the man, and then elation. He would finally have his answer. That is when Brins knew the dealer had a perfect Sabacc himself. Moreover, since there were never more than two perfect Sabaccs, the one player with the perfect Sabacc would be the winner. Knowing it would be up to him to make sure no one was found for cheating, Brins gave himself a low hand and resigned himself to defeat. Not only had he lost fifty thousand credits to the house in the push, but also now, the woman was being led away by the dealer. Stang! Brins thought. Now I have to follow them. That girl is going to pay for this.
  12. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Any comments? Anyone at all?
  13. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Very good very good. I enjoyed that a lot. Great descriptions of the girl and all. :D I could see the Casino as well. Great detail and I enjoyed it! Now who is doing Chapter 9? :D
  14. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    I am, cause I think I have a good idea of how to write it anything. Let's just hope I do not get lost well doing so. [face_laugh]
  15. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    You Mertroid will be in charge of Chapter 10, :) & BartSimpson-SithLord will be in charge of Chapter 11. And so on and so on...
  16. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Alright. Sounds good. Just post it soon! :D
  17. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Yes I am barely starting on it now. :)
  18. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Well at least you've started. :D
  19. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    True [face_laugh] its just that I am so buy! [face_laugh]
  20. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    So buy? Oh we can purchase Alex now! [face_laugh]
    Just kidding I know you meant busy. lol :D
    You're TOO BUSY! lol [face_laugh]
  21. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    I know and thats scary, for normally I am never busy! [face_laugh]
  22. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Okay thanks to everyone for being so patient, here is the completed Chapter 9 written by me and the completed Chapter 10 written by BartSimpson-SithLord . We hope you enjoy them.

    Chapter 9: ?A Longing Mind?

    Inferno?s Hidden Location on Tatooine:

    Watching as Vanessa walked out towards her speeder, Inferno silently chuckled then turned and motioned for his guards to cut her off at the next pass, making sure no one was to see.
    Inferno was a man of mystery. He would never allow anyone, even his own to leave him. Especially a person of great importance such as Vanessa.
    ?Ah, darling Vanessa,? Inferno whispered to himself, ?You did not think I was that stupid did you? I know of your loyalty to Athrenino and of your attempted relationship with him. Which I must admit I am even surprised you could even get near him as you do, for he is the type that if I have ever seen one, where if you push on him he?ll push you farther away. That is why I need you Vanessa. I am going to use you as bait. And with you on my side of the bargain I am sure Athrenino would have but no choice then to give into any demands I make??

    Banifien Council Quarters

    Dawn rose over the early Banifien sky. Kedri, a powerful Sith Lord and loyal friend of Athrenino, walked throughout his room searching for his Lightsaber and cloak.
    He was not a clean and organized man, but he did get the job done quite well when it came to the protection of the glorious Sith Empire which he came to serve.
    A sudden knock came upon the door and Kedri stuck his head out briefly.
    There before him stood a tall man, about his age of 30.
    ?Yes, can I help you?? Kedri asked.
    ?I just wanted to let you know sir that your transport is ready and waiting in docking bay 17, and Athrenino has been informed of your of your coming.? The guard replied.
    ?Thank-You, notify my pilot I will be out there shortly.? Kedri answered back shutting the door.
    There lying on the floor before his feet was the Lightsaber and on his desk, the cloak lay.
    ?Well, wasted energy?? Kedri chuckled, placing the Lightsaber tightly to his belt and quickly slipping into his robe before exiting the room.
    The hanger was quite loud and had a mechanical aroma to it. Kedri quickly jogged, dodging the many mechanical appliances, which moved promptly about the docking bay.
    Reaching the ship, Kedri boarded and sat behind the two pilots.
    ?Make haste and get us to Iridonia as soon as you can!? Kedri screamed over the noise of the large thrusters as the ship slowly made its way out of the hanger and into the atmosphere of their tiny planet.

    Iridonia Athrenino?s Quarters

    Lord Athrenino laid back silently on his bed. Although the news from Brins was good, Athrenino still worried of Vanessa, and wondered of her return.
    He was glad that Kedri was coming to visit as so that he could finally stop torturing himself over her safety. He knew that she was in fact a Sith and could easily take care of her self, but he still feared of her being alone. He feared every losing her and that thought alone bothered him.
    He stood and walked out onto the balcony.
    ?I hope he comes soon,? Athrenino whispered, ?I could sure use his help about now.?

    Chapter 10: A Plan Is Set
    Written By: BartSimpson-SithLord

    Brins followed the two as they entered a darkened hallway, usually used for emergency escapes. Using the force to dull the sounds he made, he made it into the hallway before the informant was able to close the door and pressurize the hallway. The action then created a magnetic seal around the outside of the doors, making it nearly impossible to enter the hallway. Brins ducked behind an alcove and listened in on the conversation.


    "Okay, I think the coast is clear." The man said nervously, his brown eyes darting
  23. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    I thought I was in charge of Chapter 10, oh well, I'll do chapter 11 now. It'll be here soon. :)
  24. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    I am so sorry I did it this way so we are not going directly back to Vanessa's point of view quite yet, so it gives the reader a seperation between the events of my chapter and yours to kinda wonder what happned... 8-}
  25. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Well I'll have the pleasure of telling what happened. :D
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