Mojave Desert Fan Force Fan Fic.

Discussion in 'Mojave Desert CA' started by Stridarious, Feb 21, 2003.

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  1. Jedi_Daniel Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 6
    I was really bored a couple nights ago, and while half asleep, I wrote this. I?m not sure what I have here, but um, reader discretion is advised.


    Chapter 1: In The Darkness It Echos

    Of pain and spite, in doubt and fear... what you are about to hear, is something that you must bare. The grim ramifications of love and haste, in the looming madness of trifle space... There are stories in which tell, of a love that was most true... and most forbidden. But this is not a story of love, or pain. No, this is a story of hope... a hope deep and unjust in pain and fear. In a time of order, and peace... there were few limitations in the Jedi order?but that is all about to change.

    One of the great resonations of the human spirit is to outlast all pain and sorrow, and to look forward to a one-day goal of life and joy unsurpassed by the wills of your own creation. One can feel empathy for the people who suffer, but what is not to be decided, is the judging of anyone, or anything of light, and time?in the ambiance of a cruel and brutal river of time, that waits for nothing, and affects everyone in the case of their demise?in the case of their love. It has been a time of peace for over five-hundred years, the Jedi are seemingly thriving in their wealth of Force-intuitive beings. But not is all perfect...

    ?I swear Joel, you are a fool, an idiot, you do things the hard way, you will never get anywhere in life, why do you linger, why do you try? More importantly, why do I try!?? The soft whimpers of a young child gently caressed the echoing walls of the hall. Tears of innocents running down the side of this young child?s face?how old is this child you might ask? That is not to be revealed yet.

    ?Fool!? continued the man, yelled the man, ?You are a fool! Drowning in your own stupidity and ugly stature, do not cry! Your crying makes me wary boy!? But the crying continued, but it was a soft cry... a cry for love, a cry for someone, something to care. But who would care? Surely not the passer byers, who merely looked over for a moment, turning their feeble heads to their own business of prostitution, and drug sales... The few good souls who wandered these lower streets of Coruscant would not dare intervene in the business of others, especially this low down in society. The hum and buzz of workers thundered from deep below, people, people just going about their lives, oblivious to anything, let alone a child crying.

    ?Okay you fool!? cried the man, though his voice seemed softer, yet harsher at the same time. ?You will go to the Bar, and you will get me my bloody death-sticks so help me I will beat you so flunking hard! So go....... GO!? The boy scrambled away from this man... this man of which he came from, from the creation of his loins, from the cause of a greater miracle... but this virtue was misused, at great cost of this child. Yes, this child, badly scarred by the hardships of life... the hardships with this father, this family, this world.

    The whirling wind flipped and dipped, animals of a lesser sort scurried and dug?dug in a trash, foul and unmentioned. From a widening shot, the child walked, no one caring, no one thinking of the dangers he passed. The perverse and unjust thoughts passing through the minds of the men, who looked at this child, salivated like the dogs they were? but no, there would be easier prey, better prey, more attractive pray. So the boy walked, passed the monsters, passed the traps? but down, left and right, dealers and gangsters looking in awe, and confusion... a sight unseen by most, yet not uncommon by any. The boy walked.... and walked, tears still flowing, as the wind kept blowing. A sort pity fell against the mind of those who lay their eyes upon this boy, a feeling of compassion, a feeling of... letting this one go. So? the boy kept walking, no one stalking, the sight quite shocking, even a malice mocking as the bare feet of this boy drag upon the cold steel and asphalt of this ground, covered in dirt and trash, littered in the feces of Urban Womp Rats. The massive building
  2. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    That is a great story Jedi_Daniel, and so you write this all when half asleep?
  3. Jedi_Daniel Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 6
  4. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    DANG! Do more stories like that then! [face_laugh] It was really good and detailed.
  5. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    That was STUPENDOUS! I could see everything going on for you had MAGNIFICENT detail and it's wonderful! Great storyline! Keep it up! Yeah I've written some things too that I'll have to post. :D
  6. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
  7. BartSimpson-SithLord Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2002
    star 5
    A tad bit of backstory...


    Brins Hamid, by the Sith Teachings


    Chapter 1: In the Beginning


    It was a time of justice, it was a time of lawlessness; it was a time of pleasure, it was a time of pain; it was an age of wisdom, it was an age of stupidity; it was an age of wonder, it was an age of fear; it was an age of light, it was an age of darkness; for the weilders of a new ability known as the Force were splitting. Due to the availability of hyperdrives, the gap between the lightsiders and the darksiders was becoming increasingly evident. People were leaving for unknown parts of the galaxy in massive numbers. And it was into this world, that a boy was born from a family of lost darksiders. Born on the planet that they crashed on, and raised in the ways of their philosophy. It was into this troubled time, later known as the Great Schism, that the final two members of a lost species died at that hands of Zabrak warriors on the planet of Iridonia. Their son was only three. Taken in by the tribe he was raised to adulthood, thirteen in the warrior tribes, before a mysterious man came to Iridonia.

    Instantly, the tribes knew him to be a darksider, a Daark Jeedi they called the man. Yet when the tribe of warriors attacked, the man in the black cloak raised his hand and a blue flame shot from his fingertips, instantly dropping the whole village. He left only one being alive. A young warrior who had instinctly absorbed any energy that had come at him. The boy stood at 5'9 and was only 13. His hair was pure black, his skin albino white, and his eyes contained a ferocious intensity in his pure black eyes. He obviously was a member of the near human race known as the Chisites.

    The Chisites had once been closely related to the Chiss. But a split between warrior tribes in the early years of their development sent the Chisite tribe to the inner core where they developed an albinoism and their eyes and hair became pur black. Where as the Chiss moved farther away and developed a darker blue pigment in their skin. Since hyperdrive was developed by the Chiss, they systematically slaughtered the Chisites. A few families, such as this boys, had made it to the floundering Republic but most were not so lucky.

    "I sense a great amount of Force in you boy. And sense I destroyed your family, I now sense anger in you." The man in the black cloak said with a raspy voice that suggested age.

    <<Yes, you do feel anger old man! And now I shall kill you!>>

    "Why would you want to kill me, when I am to train you in an art that will make you one of the most powerful beings in this galaxy." The man offered.

    <<What art is this that you would teach me?>> The boy asked in a quizzical tone.

    "The ways of the Sith. A religion that only a few possess the qualifications to master. And with the mastery of this, you could learn to control death." The man continued to press.

    <<Control death?> The boy was now very intrigued.

    "Yes, my young apprentice. Control death." The man began to walk toward his ship.

    The boy followed a few minutes later, as the Sith Lord had suspected. This boy had great potential, and only the Sith Lord knew that the Chiss and Chisites were the only species who could master the dark art of longevity so well as not to age for millenia upon millenia...



    Coming Soon: Chapter 2- Hard Training, and the Death of Master.
  8. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Yes, this is a great idea to fill in the back story of Lord Brins. Very good may I add.
  9. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Yeah I did write it now to type it and post it. :D
  10. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    [face_laugh] Quickly post it as the readers in FF are getting edgy... [face_laugh]
  11. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Chapter 11
    "Using her as Bait"
    Vanessa headed around the sandy corner. The air was cool and dry in the alleyways, puncturing your thirst. Silence was around, but sounds came from outside of the alleyways. Looking around Vanessa?s hood bounced up and down as she walked gracefully across the sand. As her head turned around a green face with black stripes leaped out at Vanessa and growled.
    Vanessa jumped back and a young man in black grabbed her arms. Vanessa bent down and flipped him over, making him knock down the humanoid. Twirling around her cloak followed the movement of her body and wrapped around her. Pulling out her lightsaber, blue, black, and orange lightsabers clashed all at once. Faces glowed the colors of their lightsabers. Flipping over the two figures her cloak smacked the humanoid in the face. His red eyes glowed and two horns were on his head. Ram-like horns they were. The young man was a brunette with emerald eyes. Tall and slender he stood. The human Sith had grabbed Vanessa?s arms. The humanoid came to attack. Kicking him back, Vanessa rammed the human into the wall. Reaching her gloved hand out her lightsaber flew into her hands and it ignited right into the humanoids stomach.
    Vanessa was very tricky with her lightsaber. A quick groan the humanoid gave and he collapsed to the ground with a soft scuffing noise, and a ball of sand flew up over him. Vanessa gave a mischievous smile as the man and her stared at each other. Vanessa waved her finger for him to come over. The Sith shook his head as he then charged at her. Vanessa grabbed his arm and whipped him into the wall. As she did, a knife she pulled out and a quick puncture noise was made as he had whipped around right into the silver blade. A quick grin of pain he gave. Blood ran from the knife onto the sand. The sand soaked up the blood and a stain of blood was there now. The young man had collapsed to the ground and his eyes were open, going black and his skin growing pale.
    As this happened, a pack of street rats ran over to the two corpses and began to feed on their faces. Vanessa turned around for not wanting to see the scenery a solid form she bumped into. A shot had gone right into her shoulder. A face with hazel eyes and some gray strands of hair in his dark hair were shown. He watched her eyes shut and her body collapsed into his arms. The man had thrown her over his shoulder. Her hair flopped down and her arms had gone limp. Walking back into the darkness, they were gone.
    Hours had passed by. A groan came from Vanessa. Her hair hung in her face. Moving her hand up she pushed the hair over her face and then looked to find a man in black grinning at her. Vanessa sat up and looked at him. It was Inferno staring at her.
    ?Quite impressive for a woman, you know you?re different then other women. It was clever of you, but fortunately I know you and of your relation with Athrenino, which I happen to have some relation with him too,? Inferno said as he paced in front of the infrared door to the cell. His head kept facing her way.
    Vanessa was confused by what he meant.
    ?What relation would you have with Athrenino?? she asked as she looked at him with a demanding face, her sapphire eyes glaring at him.
    ?You?ll find out in time,? he grinned and stopped pacing and stared at her even more.
    ?I?m surprised you couldn?t come up with a better plan for being a Sith Separatist,? Vanessa commented as she sat there straight with her arms crossed across her chest and her back leaned up against the wall.
    ?What do you mean by that? I wouldn?t waste all this time and effort to kill you, bait if more effective to the ones who have feelings,? Inferno replied as he grinned away.
    ?You have feelings even though you try to act you don?t. I can tell you right now you feel satisfaction, amusement, confidence, revenge, etc,? Vanessa stabbed him right back.
    ?Your words are weapons. I can see why you?re in the Senate as well,? he grinned as she stared with no amusement at all.
    ?Well I do have the tendency to chop off heads when needed a
  12. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Someone post Chapter 12 now! :D
  13. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    It is currently being written by another 8-} patience is of verturer Confuscious say... [face_laugh]
  14. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    I know I know I was just reminding everyone too. [face_laugh]
    This is just FUN! :D
  15. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    I know, it is, and this is the farest I have ever made it as far asa book based on an RPG goes. [face_laugh]
  16. BartSimpson-SithLord Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2002
    star 5
    Here is the next chapter for the main Fan Fic.
    Chapter 12: Crime and Punishment


    The trip to Ord Mantell was going to be a long one. Brins and Faye had to work under the cover of darkness to be able to infiltrate the organization of the Hutt. And that wasn?t for another six hours. So, while they waited, Faye slept in the passenger quarters of the freighter and Brins meditated.

    Brins meditated?


    DESTRUCTION.

    DEATH.

    A light flashed in front of Brins and he was suddenly in the cockpit of his Dodan, the Master Dodan. He was watching a massive object transform in front of his eyes, and it looked like the prototype of the Dark Dodan. He looked around him and noticed that the whole fleet of his Dodan warriors was locked in battle with this monstrosity.

    DESTRUCTION.

    DEATH.


    Another light flashed and he was inside of the massive ship, flying around inside of tunnels and he came out to see the Dark Dodan?s mobile armor form. He could sense the feeling of betrayal in this Brins? mind and only then did he notice that the one piloting the Dark Dodan was?

    Brins dropped his meditation and sat in stunned silence as he contemplated his vision. Had it been true? Was that what was to become of the Dark Dodan project? He pushed it aside and realized what had really pulled him out of his trance. The alarm was blaring, signaling that it was now safe to land on Ord Mantell. As he rose from the metal floor, Faye emerged from her cabin in a soft blue robe that was barely loose enough for Brins to catch a glimpse of her body if he?d thought to at the moment.

    ?What?s goin on?? Faye asked with a perplexed look on her face.

    ?We can land now. Get ready. You remember the plan?? Brins asked as he looked her straight in the eye.

    ?Yeah. I?m to be a dancer girl that you?re selling to the Hutt, right?? Faye questioned her usual nonchalant attitude.

    ?Yes. That is the plan.? Brins said in a raised voice to reach across the ship. Within seconds the alarm was off. Within minutes, they were on the surface.

    *********************************************

    The Hutt?s palace was huge. Twenty pillars, ten per row two deep, held up the massive ceiling above the entranceway. The white marble building was almost beautiful, but on this garbage world nothing h ad beauty. Brins, cloaked in a black robe and hood, walked up to the front gate and took the massive doorknocker in his hand. The thing was carved to look like the head of a human. On second inspection, Brins realized it actually was the head of a human, frozen in carbonite and with a metal ring placed in his mouth. Faye, dressed in a yellow zip up top that barely covered her breasts and wasn?t zipped all the way to begin with along with a pair of extremely short shorts and a visible V-string, came up behind Brins as he tapped the massive doors three times. Suddenly, and without warning, a panel opened up revealing a droid eyeball.

    <<What business do you have here?>> The droid asked in Huttese.

    <<I am here to sell your master a new dancing girl.>> Brins replied in the same language.

    At that, the eye turned and looked Faye over. <<You?re girl is of great skill, I?m sure my master will be pleased.>> The eye backed behind the panel as it closed and the massive marble doors opened for the two to enter.

    The inside of the palace was as extravagant as the outside, with gold and marble covering the walls. Massive paintings of Nal Hutta adorned the hallway that led to the grand audience chamber. Once there, both Faye and Brins were awe-struck by the eerie beauty of this murder chamber. Even the pit?s grate cover was plated with gold. Stepping before the massive body that looked like a giant slug, Brins bowed.

    <<I am deeply honored that you have agreed to see me, your honor.>> Brins said as he stood up straight.

    <<Your Huttese is good you human slime.>>

    <<I wish to sell you this girl.>>

    The Hutt licked his lips as he looked Faye over. <<Let me see her dance first.>>

    And with that, Faye took her cue. They had expected
  17. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    It is a very good chapter that you have placed before us, one that I enjoyed to read. Don't get me wrong for I enjoy all these chapters, and they ft so well into my original concept for that RPG. 8-}
  18. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    GREAT JOB! I LOVED THE DETAILS! I could just see everything going on and it was GREAT! You should pat yourself on the back for a well job done. :D
    Now Chapter 13 will be posted by Alex. :D
  19. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    See, thats the funny part... [face_laugh] I don't have it quite written yet, but soon I will. I hope 8-}
  20. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    Yeah obviously you wouldn't have it written that fast. [face_laugh]
    And we're patient so take your time, but not too much time. :D
  21. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    I hope I can have it up and written by this up-coming Friday. :) that is my goal.
  22. BartSimpson-SithLord Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2002
    star 5
    Well, we all see that the goal wasn't achieved as Alex dreamed it. But I'll give you the second chapter of my Brins story...


    Chapter 2- Hard Training and the Death of Master



    It was a rain filled night in the streets of Coruscant. Ten years had passed since he had left his homeworld. Ten hard years of constant training in the bowels of Coruscant, unbeknownst to the Jedi. The rain fell onto his face as he looked in the direction of the footsteps he had sensed before entering the alley. Ten years on the almost city covered planet of Coruscant.


    The first five years had been nothing but sheltered training. He had been forced to kill, to slaughter, and to learn new languages. It was after learing the language known as basic that he was able to communicate verbally with his master. He had given his name, Brins Hamid, and recieved his master's, Likairn Padnar. It was in this span of time that he developed his Force skills and built his first lightsaber. It was a masterful design, a black single bladed lightsaber that could be adjusted in size.

    "You are developing nicely," Likairn had said. But it still didn't seem like much.

    It was when he was eighteen that his training changed. Lacking the emotional scars needed to become a Sith, Brins was let go by Likairn. Likairn gave him enough credits to buy an appartment and get a job. Brins never saw the man again, and fell into a deep despair. He joined the workforce as a bartender and drowned away his sorrows in liquor. Then, she came into his life.

    On a cold, dreary, day in lower Coruscant a beautiful girl named Jullia Columter came into the warmth of the pub Brins was working at. "Just water," She said with a smile as she sat at the bar.

    "Coming right up." Brins said as he poured the glass. "So, what brings a beauty like you in here?"

    "Oh, nothing. Just a bad case of depression. My family's gone, and I have nowhere to turn."

    "Hm, believe me. This isn't the way to come out of it. I was taken from my family, then dropped here without a way to help myself. I got this job so I could get free drinks but it just furthered my depression at being left behind."

    "Then why don't you just quit?" She asked, her blue eyes accentuated by her blond hair and fair skin.

    "I need the money. It is an endless cycle."

    "Look at us. We're a couple of depressed freaks."

    Brins laughed. "Yeah."

    "Say, would you like to hang out sometime?"

    "I'd like that. We could help eachother work through our depression."

    And like that, their relationship began. It was innocent at first, their friendship growing steadily. And each of them regained a bit of the happiness they'd lost. It was a match made in heaven, and they were steadily falling in love. It was a snowy day, the following year, that they stood in a park building snowbeings when they looked into eachother's eyes and exchanged their first kiss. It was a magical moment which felt like it lasted an eternity and they wanted two.

    In the following two years they went everywhere together and the deeper their relationship became the greater their careers became. Brins had come to own the bar and Jullia had come to be a secretary for a leading Senator. Life was grand. They moved into their own floor on a prestigious tower and grew even deeper in love. It was on their four year anniversary that Brins took her to his bar and decided to give her a drink.

    "What'll you have?"

    "Brins, stop."

    "What'll you have?"

    Jullia laughed. "You know I don't drink. Give me a water."

    "Coming right up." He said as he got a glass and began to fill it up. "So, what brings a beauty like you in here?" Before turning around he slipped a small piece of metal into the glass.

    "Brins, you did." She said as she accepted the glass. "This is your..." She trailed off as she saw the diamond encrusted gold ring in the bottom of the glass. Reaching into the glass, Brins brought out the ring and took her hand in his.

    "Jullia, will you marry me?"

    Embracing him, she nearly screamed with joy. "Oh, Brins. Yes!"

    For another yea
  23. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    Sorry, its been horrible for me this passed week. I have been in and out of this cold, and to some degree my time on the computer has been cut for testing this week. I will try to get these things done.
  24. Mertroid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 5
    BSSL! THIS IS AWESOME! It's WONDERFUL! That was intense and great! Very emotional and great detail! :D
    Keep up this great work! I'm liking this story a lot! :D
  25. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    I would have to agree with er as far as what she said. Never suspected those things to go down, yet it was well written. :)
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