Before - Legends Monsters (JA A/U, Evil Qui Viggie, Cover art added 9/24)

Wow, nice artwork there! Though it made me sad all over again! Kill Qui-Gon!! (Though he does look pretty hot in that picture, doesn't he?) Ooh, now I want to see Batman Begins again...

 

This ficcy was amazing.

The atmosphere was probably my favorite thing--the way you managed to make it feel cold and...and real, the way good authors do. Like...ah, Tolkien. Or Card. Or...one of those people.

Qui-Gon's characteration was flawless. You gave him a plausible reason and a realistic attitude--cruel and cold, but still completely Qui-Gon. And poor Obi-Wan's determination, even towards the end, was heartbreaking.

Perfect pacing, marvelous description.

I love you.

 

That was quite creepy! Qui-Gon was really evil in this, to just stand by and watch Obi-Wan die, only wanting to know about the visions. Poor, brave Obi-Wan! Great job, and nice cover art!

 

Beautiful, haunting story, stormqueen874.

for Obi-Wan.

I loved Batman Begins (for once, a movie totally exceeds my expectations), and your adaptation is perrrrrfect!

to a very talented author!

 

Well, I've already told you what I think of this vignette, but let me say it again...

It was absolutely stunning. The characterizations were top-notch, the dialogue was some of the most fluid, smooth, and believable I've ever read in a story here, and the descriptions were excellent.

I loved the premise itself - evil Qui-Gon was a perfect villian. The jumping from flashbacks to the present was phenomenally done - often it's distracting or disjointed, but it worked perfectly in Monsters. It had me dying to know what would happen next, and how Obi-Wan could have got into that situation in the first place.

The Batman Begins foundation was great!

?I?m afraid not, my apprentice,? he said, his eyes sparkling with humor, sweat beading down his forehead. ?It seems you?ve neglected one crucial element, all for the sake of obtaining a killing blow.?

Obi-Wan?s eyes widened. ?Sith-?

The ice gave way beneath his feet.

That was a perfect scene and a nice mirror of the scene in Batman.

I like dark stories and this didn't dissapoint - but I also liked how even in the midst of a terribly dark story, you managed to slip in a bit of good in the fact that Obi-Wan refused to divulge the truth to Qui-Gon.

Though it was just a vignette, this was one of the singlemost satisfying Star Wars stories I've ever read. You're an extremely gifted writer.

I wouldn't say no if you wrote more evil Qui from this particular AU

 

Jeez, and you guys get upset at ME for a couple of plot twists?

Very, very well-written, stormqueen. Qui is truly evil. And poor Obi, so desperate to follow his perceived destiny--and carrying it through in the end. I ached for a rescue, but it never came.

Really, really good. Keep writing!

 

Very good Queenie!

But I do have one criticism. The dialogue was a little confusing sometimes when you said "he said" and then started another paragraph with more dialogue from the same character and didn't make it clear it was the same character speaking. Several times I had to go back and reread and say, 'ok, this is Qui-Gonn speaking again'.

Other than that, it was dark and creepy and evil Qui-Gonn was very cool, not just because he lived on a frozen mountain. Very well done.

 

Aw, Nienna, you're such a sweetheart.

You too!

You're a fine writer, ma dear, don't you doubt that for an instant!

Awww! I guess I need to work on my self confidence. But I am right when I say your ideas are so orginal. My stories, though maybe executed well (in others' eyes anyway), tend to stem from heavily used plot ideas. I guess that's not really a bad thing though...

I guess this whole post doesn't really belong here... but it upped your fic!

 

I think that Qui-Gon needs a big hug!: How could he be so helpless!?
And you killed Obi-Wan!
You are a mean cruel wicked person....but I like it!
Very good, I loved it!

 

!!!
Your evil Qui-Gon is really belivable. I always thought that the only way to make him really angry was through his loved ones.
And my poor Obi-Wan! So brave, even though he must have been in so much pain.
Heartbreaking, Stormqueen. Great job.
And what lovely cover art!

 

Wow, that's a lot of new reviews! Time to get to replying!

Bastet: Thanks! *hugs* And I would write a fic killing off Qui-Gon, but the idea I've got floating around in my head for that fic I think is changing as we speak. I guess I just can't kill him off...

Fluff-Slayer: That's quite a few wonderful comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it; it was the strangest thing to write. I've never had something like that take hold so quickly, but it did, and thank you so much!

Jedi_Tigris: Thank you so much! I'm glad his evil came off as believable.

corellian-jedi: *beams* Thank you! I absolutely loved that movie, so when the bunny bit, I just had to write it. Glad you enjoyed it!

Exeter: Holy heavens, man, when you leave a review, you leave a review! I don't think I can begin to express how happy your comments made me, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. We'll see about adding on here and there, though I'm not sure what else I could do with it...

maychorian: May! *blinks in shock* Wow, I'm so glad you enjoyed it, even though you found it heart-wrenching! Call it a taste of your own medicine, my dear, considering how much of a wreck you turn me into when I read your stuff. Seriously, thank you!

BrentusofGath: Hiya, Brentus! Finally made it! Yes, I know that was a problem even as I was writing it. I have an issue with pronouns, and esp. since Qui-Gon had essentially given up his name, it made things even more difficult. *sigh* Still, glad you enjoyed it!

Nienna_Narmolanya: My stories, though maybe executed well (in others' eyes anyway), tend to stem from heavily used plot ideas. I guess that's not really a bad thing though

Well, how do you think I got my start? The two first fics I posted here were dealing with ideas that are always being tossed around. I just like to put my own twist to them.

And we'll work on your confidence! *drags out confidence-building weights*

Qui-GonJinn1: Aw, why thank you! *grin* I'm glad you enjoyed it, even if I'm evil!

PadawanEstel: Thank you! *beams* I went absolutely crazy when J_L showed me the cover art she came up with; I was so happy with it! And I'm glad you liked it, even though it was heartbreaking!

*double checks to see if she missed anyone* Nope, I think that's everyone! Thanks again to everyone; major hugs for you all!

Stormqueen