moral delema please help me out here

Discussion in 'Denver, CO' started by TK1305, Jun 3, 2002.

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  1. TK1305 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 2
    ok I have this "friend" thats getting merried this week and about a year ago he asked me to be a grooms man and I told him yea surewhat ever cause we are not realy close and I thought it would be passed over as he was drunk when he asked me. we are not close friends at all.
    well since I lost my job I been telling him I dont think I can afford to get my tux as its very expensive and I can think of better things to do with my money like buy food and pay rent. I keep telling him I have no money and CAN NOT AFFORD be in his wedding. he told two months ago not to worrie he would get it for me. well we went to get fitted and he put down the deposit and left me with a bill for the other 80% to pick up.I called him again yesterday to tell him I cant afford it . he asked another friend of ours to pay for it for me and I could pay it back later.

    my question is what should I do? barrow money from a friend so I can be in this guys wedding or should I just tell him I wont be in it and sorry for the problem but I told you four months ago I wouldnt be able to do it?
    I think I should just tell him sorry but I wont be in it. make him mad but save others being mad at me for barrowing money I cant pay back.
  2. PtrsonsZOO Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2001
    star 7
    Just tell him, if he can't deal w/ it, then the problem is his, not yours. You've been up front about your situation from the start, so the responsibility is off you.
  3. Bravo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2001
    star 6
    Well, just tell him you can't go. If you guys are not really close friends, then don't worry about it. But, I would pay him back the money he put down on your suit.
  4. arrowheadpodracer Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2002
    star 5
    just tell him "sorry buddy, i really wish i could help you out- but i cant." if he gets upset- hes a jackass. weddings rarely suffer from a lack of planning so if he didnt plan well enough for his own wedding- its his fault. I made my wedding out of town so when people couldnt be in it ,or even show up, i was disapointed- but that was MY problem. not theirs.- i would be as nice as possible cause it is quite cool to be asked to be involved in someones big day- but borowing money from other people involved & stuff like that only makes it more stressfull for everyone. i was in a similar situation-the brides family ended up paying alot of my bill(i was a groomsman) & i felt like an idiot all day, everytime i thought of it. still do in fact. during pictures, they would watch me as if i was gonna ruin the tux they paid for- it was pretty embarassing. if hes not a really good friend & youre not dying to be in it- i think stepping out graciously with an apology is the best in the long run. a few tipsy moments at the reception & all will be forgotten.
  5. kitarusapien Former RMFF CR

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Nov 19, 2001
    star 6
    Your only obligation on any grounds is to repay the 20%(you really should have stood your ground, and not gone to get fitted, but hindsight often means lookin' up yur own poop-shoot....FLOL!)and cut your losses....other than that, you've been totally upfront with him and that's your out. Quite frankly, I'd cut all ties with someone like him. Any requests from a drunken individual have virtually no merit.
  6. darth_hair Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2001
    star 5
    what they said . that guy sounds like a pecker hole for bugging you about it anyway . tell him you cant do it cos you have to go play the star wars card game that day . :)
  7. TK1305 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 2
    ok
    I just call to talk to this guy and he's eatting so I say hay I can call you back in a few minutes dont want to kick the guy while he was eating dinner and he say well call me back in two hours.
    now I'm getting mad about this.

  8. darth_hair Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2001
    star 5
    should have just told him . just be honest with him .
  9. Obi_Wannabe Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2002
    star 5
    I don't really have any morals so i'm probably no qualified to render advice on this subject. :D

    Just be honest, that's the best plan always, you're not going to be able to take part but you appreciate being asked.
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