Before More Than Words: The No Dialogue Challenge Response Thread

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Layren, Jul 25, 2005.

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  1. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    This is where you post your Before fics in response to my no dialogue challenge that can be found Here .


    Have fun everyone!!
  2. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    Ohmigosh, I'm first! [face_dancing]

    Author: Fluff-Slayer
    Title: My Padawan Is Sleeping
    Timeframe: JA
    Characters: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon
    Genre: Pointless fluffiness
    Notes: Yes, it's a one-post; so shoot me. Written in response to loverly Layren's wordless viggie challenge (as you can plainly see). I'm sorry. I was unable to resist the temptation. Mr. Muse held a lightsaber at my throat and threatened me with death if I didn't agree to write this. Needless to say, I had little choice in the matter.

    Dedication: To Codename_Targeter--thank you for your help, Master.

    -----------------------------------

    It is late at night and my Padawan is sleeping.

    Our last mission was nothing short of a fiasco. If the Prime Minister had not tripped over a piece of debris during the firefight, then he would have been added to the list of casualties, and things would have been infinitely worse. As it is, we barely managed the objective (transport the Minister from point A to point B, and for Force?s sake, try to deliver him to his destination with as few blaster holes as possible. Somehow I doubt that the Council would have been pleased with the way things almost turned out, with my Padawan learner maimed and the Minister dismembered in a box).

    We landed this afternoon exhausted beyond all intelligent speech. In fact, we have spoken barely a word to one another since our arrival. I allowed Obi-Wan to skip his classes today on the condition that he go and collect his make-up work, and he agreed that that was fair. We parted ways as soon as we?d briefed the council (which is never more tiresome than when you?re fatigued and bordering on irritable). I can say in my student?s credit that he waited until after we?d left the Council chambers before almost collapsing, which I daresay thought merited his being sent back to our apartment. He didn?t argue.

    A few weeks ago, I volunteered a shift in the crèche whenever help was needed. My offer was met with an enthusiastic promise that I would be taken up on it, and that vow was not broken; no sooner had I finished the debriefing than the comm. started its wailing. A Crèche Master cheerfully informed me that they could really use my assistance now if it were convenient, and would I please come down as soon as possible, because they were terribly short of volunteers.

    I asked her, carefully, if perhaps I could come in a few days; I was not regretting my offer, I told her, but I had just returned from a rather turbulent mission, and a little time for recuperation would be greatly appreciated?

    The Crèche Master informed me, with something like dismay in her voice, that they did not intend to keep me for long at all, that the shift could not possibly last more than an hour, but if that was how I felt about it, then they could probably manage all right with one less pair of hands.

    Call it weak will. Call it gullibility. Call it reverse psychology. Call it whatever you like, but know that I did, in fact, end up in the crèche some five minutes later. Know, also, that that particular Crèche Master must use a different unit to measure time than the rest of us, because by the time I was released, not one, not three, but four hours had passed.

    That?s all right, I told myself as I walked down the hallway back toward my room and the awaiting bed. You enjoy time with the young ones; it?s not as if it was some horrible chore. Besides, you gave your word that you?d help when you were needed. How, after all, could I bear to spout old teachings of patience and reliability to Obi-Wan if I myself did not live by those lessons?

    But then the comm. sounded again.

    I was hesitant to answer it lest it be someone else seeking a long-forgotten favor. I don?t exactly remember everything that followed, but I can tell you this much. One thing led to another, and I did not make it to my room until well past ninth chime.

    A Jedi can go much longer than a normal person without sleeping, but that doesn?t mean that we are machines and can relinquish it entirely. My body was co
  3. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    *sigh* very sweet and well-put.
  4. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    That was incredibly lovely, Fluff-Slayer. :_| I so enjoyed the wording and Qui-Gon's perspective. =D=
  5. The_Jedi_Ambyr-Rose Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 2003
    star 4
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Great challenge response. And thank you for making this challenge thread! [:D]
  7. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    [face_love] That was beautiful....very sweet and still so Qui-gon-like!
  8. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Oh awesome mush!! [face_love] Great job! :D
  9. Anakins_Force Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 4
    I saw this challenge posted on the resource board...I love your piece.


    From the look of him, Obi-Wan sat down with a cup of tea to begin chipping away at that mountain of schoolwork and fell asleep soon into the attempt. He is nestled into the corner of the couch, ?sitting? upright, head lolled onto his chest. A smile comes to my lips as I proceed to reach forward and take my nearly-grown student into my arms the way I did so many times before in years passed. My logic is that his bed must certainly be more comfortable than this couch?but regardless of what my reasoning is, it becomes immediately apparent that we are not going anywhere. I underestimated just how much Obi-Wan has grown lately. It?s unlikely that I will even make it to my feet carrying him, much less down the hallway.


    That is so sweet--Obi-Wan was studious and wanted to get his homework finished even though he was tired. And the part about QG tying to pick him up was so realistic. (I was a nanny in college and even though the babies are eight now and too big for me to carry, I would still move to pick them up.) You captured the way a parent/guardian feels about their child.
  10. Jennifer_Lyn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    *sigh*
    I just love Obi/Qui mush. Wonderfully written, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
  11. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
  12. millenium_dove Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 3
    That was positively adorable! I especially liked the detail on the quilt. Kudos to yoU!
  13. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    I get more feedback when I borrow someone else's thread than when I post my own. [face_laugh] Ouch. Irony stings.

    Thanks be to DarthIshtar, LuvEwan, The_Jedi_Ambyr-Rose, VaderLVR64, Lady_Snow_Kaguya, Kynstar, Jennifer_Lyn, LilQui-Gon, and millenium_dove, who made me happy with their kind feedback.

    Anakins_Force- Thank you for being so specific! [face_love] And that was what I was going for... nice that it worked for once.

    You guys are so nice. [:D] I think it's time somebody else posts a viggie, though. *Gently encourages* This forum's got some fantabulous writers to its name *hinthint* and I think some of them *elbowelbow* should get right to typing *nudgenudge*. You know. Just a friendly suggestion. O:)

    Edit 1: You make me blush furiously and hide my face, Estel. Mush, you say? Mush? Okay! More mush! [face_batting] *Goes to tempt the muse back with a piece of cheese*
  14. PadawanEstel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 23, 2004
    star 1
    =D=


    That quilt has covered a shivering, fever-ridden apprentice and a Master nursing an ailing old heart. It has wrapped around shoulders that trembled with quiet loneliness, enveloped a body that rebelled against any and all forms of comfort.

    I love that line. It's amazing. I love it... so pretty... [face_hypnotized]

    *Ahem...*

    Poor Qui-Gon, getting dragged all over the Temple after a trying mission. At least he has his Padawan to come home to. [face_love]

    And how Qui-Gon tries to pick him up only to find that he is too heavy... [face_laugh]

    Good job. And yes, irony does sting. I recommend more Qui/Obi mush. :D



  15. Anakins_Force Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 4
    Title: You Carry My Love
    Author: Anakins_Force
    Timeframe: Before Saga
    Characters: Shmi Skywalker
    Notes: This is for Layren?s ?no dialogue? challenge. I am currently reading Tatooine Ghost, which gave me this plot bunny, but I hadn?t done anything about it until I saw this challenge. Italics are from Tatooine Ghost and the AOTC and TPM novels. Thank you Mithrissa for the beta read.
    Summary: Shmi Skywalker writes letters to her mother about an important time in her life. Unfortunately she can never send the letters because she was separated from her mother early in life.
    Disclaimer: This is for fun only and not monetary gain.


    You Carry My Love

    You will achieve great things in the galaxy, Anakin. Wherever you go, you carry my love with you. Always remember that.
    -Shmi Skywalker?s diary



    Dear Mother,

    I have missed having you in my life. I don?t remember much about you, but I hope that you?re still alive and that you think of me as well. I?ve always heard that a woman never appreciates her own mother until she has a child of her own, but I?ve been thinking of you all day. I know I?ll never be able to send these letters, but writing to you comforts me.

    Love always,
    Shmi


    Dear Mother,

    I am feeling ill this evening. As I was scrubbing the pans that I used for Pi-Lippa?s guests, I felt queasy?seeing the small flecks of food stuck to the dishes caused my stomach to turn over. I almost couldn?t finish. But leaving chores unfinished is not an option for me, so I continued. Before bed I drank some tea in my room but even that didn?t settle my stomach, which is unusual. I hope it?s not West Bantha disease, because it put Karee in bed for three weeks.

    Love always,
    Shmi


    Dear Mother,

    I?m still feeling a little ill but nothing has come of it. I am starting to grow concerned. But there is nothing to be done about it, as slaves don?t usually see medical droids unless we are on death?s door.

    Love always,
    Shmi


    Dear Mother,

    I wish that you were here right now. I need a mother.

    I fear that I know why I have been ill and it?s not an easy thought. I have heard the other women speak of the signs and I have several. I haven?t felt well for many weeks, my tunic grows snug even though my meal portions remain the same, and I?m so tired all the time. I think I knew the truth when I started writing these letters. How is this possible? I hope I am merely losing my mind because that?s an easier reality to consider.

    Love always,
    Shmi


    Dear Mother,

    I was right. My stomach is noticeably larger and my tunic tighter. I found some thread and a needle and l let my tunic out so that it still fits. I don?t know what will happen but I have a kind Mistress so I am not worried about her reaction.

    Some of the other slaves might throw me a hateful look and snarl, and assume that the father is one of the local men from Mos Eisley. But most of them will be pleased, at least the women, as they have also welcomed children into their rooms. And none of those children have fathers either. It happens quite frequently around here--a slave woman becomes pregnant and no one knows who the father is. But this is different.

    I still have trouble believing that this is real. Pi-Lippa will allow me to keep the baby. She has said that she plans to free me one day. Maybe I can still work for her once I?m free.

    Love always,
    Shmi


    Dear Mother,

    For some reason, I just know that it?s a boy.

    Love always,
    Shmi


    Dear Mother,

    I feel movement now. He is very active. I have told a few of the other slave women, the two that I consider friends, Shura and Karee. And now that it?s becoming noticeable I have had a few of the other slaves comment on it. Shura asked who the father was. I told her that he was an off-worlder that stopped by the port one night; I said he was far away now. I can?t tell the truth. No one would believe me. There was no father.

    Love always,
    Shm
  16. Shadowolf Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2005
    star 2
    Title: Through a Padawan?s eyes
    Author: Shadowolf
    Characters: Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon
    Genre: Challenge Response

    Watching him practice his saber work is like watching a gifted dancer. He spins and twirls his lightsaber in intricate movements that I doubt I will ever be able to match. My master is amazing. If you look close enough you can see the fluctuations in the energy field around him as he gauges the actions of the target droid. When he starts his attack the movement of his lightsaber creates a trail of light cutting through a barrage of blaster shots from the droid. My master?s fierce concentration is belied by his expression of serene joy. He is at peace now, practicing his movements for the sheer enjoyment of the dance.

    Our time on this planet is short and soon we will have to return to Coruscant to learn about our next mission. This is only a brief respite in what seems to be a never-ending series of disputes, negotiations, and settlements. Soon the serious expression that is often associated with my master will return. His countenance will settle into a resolute mask that makes men fear him. But for now he is happy, rested, and at peace. He has immersed himself in the living Force for nearly a week now. I don?t believe I?ve ever seen him happier and I will hate to see that happiness recede.

    He powers down his lightsaber and looks towards me. His expression tells me I?m being far too serious. He beckons me and waits until I stand before him. Wordlessly he ignites his lightsaber and moves into a familiar stance. An eyebrow raises in challenge and I feel a wide smile come across my face before I unclip my own lightsaber. My smile is answered and soon the only sound is the clash of sabers. My master is a better swordsman, cunning and experienced. But I am younger, faster, and more agile. I can not win against him, yet, but someday I will. Yet even still, I know I will never be better than him.

    We collapse onto the floor after our sparring session panting from exertion. He claps me on the shoulder, praising me without words and I feel as if I could do anything. His approval means so much, more than I want to really consider as that could be considered an attachment and Jedi are forbidden to have attachments. Yet, how can we not? This man is everything to me, my father, my best friend, my teacher, how can I not be attached to him? It is a question I have asked many times in a more general sense. Attachment grounds us in the here and now, makes us aware of what we are defending. That is my argument at least. Sometimes I think my master approves, but the Council does not. I have heard council members say that my master?s reckless ways are rubbing off on me. There is a stigma to his name, even though he is one of the best Jedi in the galaxy. That stigma effects me as well, but I don?t mind. I gladly accept that stigma if it means I can continue to learn from my master.

    I?m told that someday I will understand the Code, that it will make sense to me. As a padawan, still inexperienced and always learning, I?m not expected to understand. At the same time, it seems like I am not expected to question either. I?m still not entirely sure what I think of that as I could never be anything but a Jedi ? never would want to be anything but a Jedi, yet I do question. I want to learn more, and my questioning helps my understanding grow. My master sees that and encourages me to ask my questions, to disagree with him so long as I am respectful (I was disrespectful once, won?t do that again I can assure you). I think its part of what makes us a good team. We understand each other; his more intuitive, sometimes impulsive manner balances my more methodical manner well. He makes me see the good in living in the moment rather than continuously looking towards the future. I hope I help him see the good in planning ahead, at least sometimes. We work well together, and when we?re on a mission it seems that we can?t be beat. Wounded, yes, but we always seem to finish our missions success
  17. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    Splendid viggie, Shadow. I can actually picture a scene like this flowing well without dialogue; it wasn't forced or weird. You managed to cram so much affection and meaning into a few short paragraphs! Impressive, most impressive...

    The last line made me go, "Awwwww...." [face_love]

    Anakins_Force- You made me feel all sad and lonely there... *Sniffle* Nicely done. (And you've turned Shmi into something of a Virgin Mary? o.o; Interesting idea, that. Huh...)
  18. Souderwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Anakins_Force: What a great job! How completely original! I would never have thought to write letters! I really enjoyed them, and I loved the progression as she dealt with the pregnancy. I never thought of Shmi as a virgin...but I like the way you portrayed it. Loved it! =D=

    Shadowolf: What a great moment. It worked beautifully and it didn't matter who the characters were. I actually had to look back at the Characters line to remind myself that this was Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Very well done! I'm glad I came over to check this out.

    I am officially inspired to try my own hand at this. Needless to say...I might take a slightly darker approach...

    P.S. I'll post mine in the Saga Challenge Response Page...
  19. Shadowolf Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2005
    star 2
    Fluff-Slayer, that was exquisite. Qui-Gon just basking in the peace from Obi-Wan...I love it.

    Anakins_Force the letter format works so great here! The chronicle of her pregnancy is very interesting to read. Too bad she couldn't stay with Pi-Lippa (sp?) and be freed before Watto or Gardula got a hold of her.

    OK, responses to my own entry...yay!
    Fluff-Slayer, thank you, expressing much of anything without dialogue is difficult for me so I am ecstatic that what I was trying to get across came through so well!

    Souderwan, thank ye kindly! I wasn't sure if the characters would be conveyed through the story, but I did wonder if it wouldn't work just as well for a nameless master/padawan. No matter what I'm glad you liked it! And, yes, give it a shot! Oh wait, I read you already did. Must mosey over to the Saga board and check it out. :)
  20. Anakins_Force Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 4
    Fluff-Slayer: Thank you! I don't know if she's supposed to be a Virgin Mary, but that's how I think of her--even though she's a slave, she's sheltered and naive.

    Souderwan: Thank you so much. I'm glad you decided to do the challenge too! I thought the letters would be the best way to show how Anakin was growing.

    Shadowolf: Thank you! I wish she could've stayed too, but Pi-Lippa died before she could free Shmi. She managed to stay positive in a very strange situation.


    Shadowolf:
    He has immersed himself in the living Force for nearly a week now. I don?t believe I?ve ever seen him happier and I will hate to see that happiness recede.


    You have shown Qui-Gon at his best! He thrives in the living Force.

    Attachment grounds us in the here and now, makes us aware of what we are defending. That is my argument at least. Sometimes I think my master approves, but the Council does not. I have heard council members say that my master?s reckless ways are rubbing off on me. There is a stigma to his name, even though he is one of the best Jedi in the galaxy. That stigma effects me as well, but I don?t mind. I gladly accept that stigma if it means I can continue to learn from my master.

    This makes me want to cry. It makes me sad for the relationship that Anakin could have had with both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon if the Sith hadn't interfered. Obi-Wan was young once, and he loved Qui-Gon, just as he loved Anakin. He is proud of his Master.
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