Saga Morning Will Come (Qui-Gon vignette; intertrilogy)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi-Princess-Solo, Dec 17, 2004.

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  1. Jedi-Princess-Solo Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 24, 2002
    star 4
    Tatooine is a harsh world, a world of extremes.

    By day, the twin suns scorch and burn, and anything that falls beneath them will be marked with the scars, but after the suns set in the evening, darkness falls and a chill seeps into the very core of this desert world.

    It was no mere chance that brought us to this world.

    Even now, when I am one with all, I do not know why the Force chose this place, what it was about this planet that stood out enough for it to become the epicenter, the focal point where it all began, where so many paths were forged and irrevocably intertwined.

    Tatooine is your prison, Obi-Wan.

    When I think back to your youth, watching you grow from a boy into a man, I think that I could never have dreamed what the future would hold in store for you. I wanted peace and contentment for you, friends and health, perhaps even a seat on the Council one day, if that was your dream.

    But dreams are a fickle thing, and they rarely turn out the way we hoped.

    You know this all too well, don't you?

    Once you held a thousand precious dreams within your heart, not for yourself, but for the boy that was bequeathed to your care. You yearned to see him succeed, to see him smile, to watch as he achieved his goals and his own dreams unfolded before him.

    But his dreams have all turned to ash now, the same as yours.

    The weight of all those broken dreams press down upon your shoulders, upon your chest, and it is a wonder that you can stand at all, Padawan, with the pain that is slowly devouring you from within. You wear your grief as a cloak, it has become your mantle as surely as the tattered robe you still clutch around your aging, weary frame.

    Time has aged you, but not nearly as greatly as you have aged yourself.

    If I had not been watching you, watching you both, all along, I do not know if I would recognize you. You are not old in the linear sense, at least not by Jedi standards, and I myself was older than you are now when I fell before the red blade, but you are as ancient as Master Yoda now, Obi-Wan.

    And you carry the past around your neck like a hololocket.

    I watch you, Padawan, as you wither and die a moment, a dream, a memory at a time.

    He will kill you, just as you once so glibly predicted during the trying days of his youth. He is killing you now, and has been since the day he betrayed all that you had instilled in him, all that he once held dear.

    Your life belongs to him, Obi-Wan.

    It has always belonged to him.

    And the time is growing nearer when he will come to collect.

    The past is a monstrous thing in your hands, alive and ravenous, and it taints everything around you, from the sand beneath your feet to the humid air you breathe. There is beauty on Tatooine, harsh and primal, but it is lost to you when the ghosts of another life linger always at your shoulder.

    You wonder if perhaps anyone could have changed things, or if it was inevitable from the start.

    At night you lay awake and remember Yoda's words that day, about clouded futures and dark dreams, and you think that perhaps he was right, that it was a mistake and that you, and I in my own fault, have brought about the end of the great Order simply by loving a boy who we ought to have feared.

    No one could blame you for thinking such things, Obi-Wan.

    There are times, as I watch the thing moving within the broken remains of his body, that I myself wonder the same.

    But I know things that you do not, Padawan.

    I know what is coming.

    Someday you will understand, Padawan. Not today, and not for a very long time, but someday you will understand why there had to be so much pain in order to bring about the light.

    For there is light ahead, Obi-Wan, even if you cannot see it.

    Every day, the nexus point grows nearer, the moment when all will hang in the balance, the future of the galaxy and of the Force itself. A long-buried soul will begin stirring beneath the fathomless depths of a black ocean, the distant whispers will become a song that will only grow in stre
  2. Layren Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Oh that was lovely! Your characterization here of Qui-Gon was wonderful and you did a fantastic job getting inside his head during the different parts of his padawan's life. Great job!

    =D=
  3. Darth_Kinwon Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2004
    star 1
    Once again, JPS, you've left me rather speechless ;) That was another specimen of your beautiful, poetic writing, and it was both sad and uplifting at the same time- a rare feat :)
  4. Jedi_Jaina_Fel Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2002
    star 2
    Ack, why do you insist on writing things that make me cry? :p This was beautiful, really, it was just... it was incredible, that's all there is to it :D
  5. Trickster_Goddess Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2003
    star 1
    There were just too many beautiful lines to choose a favorite, lol :D The whole thing grabbed me, touched me, but the end sealed the deal..

    Night will fall and morning will come.

    And when that day finally comes to pass, we shall be there together, standing in the sun, waiting to welcome him home.
    [face_love] :_| :D [face_love]
  6. JainaSoloSkywalker Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2002
    star 2
    Oh, wow! This was breathtaking, JPS :D =D= Very poetic and the imagery was fantastic. More review when I have time ;)
  7. SkyBlazer Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2004
    star 1
    Beautiful viggie! [face_love] :D It made me get a little teary at some parts, it was so good :D
  8. Skarlaya Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2004
    Tatooine is your prison, Obi-Wan. :(

    So true, it really is, isn't it?

    I watch you, Padawan, as you wither and die a moment, a dream, a memory at a time.

    He will kill you, just as you once so glibly predicted during the trying days of his youth. He is killing you now, and has been since the day he betrayed all that you had instilled in him, all that he once held dear.

    Your life belongs to him, Obi-Wan.

    It has always belonged to him.

    And the time is growing nearer when he will come to collect.


    That was just powerful, I read this viggie twice and that part struck me both times, it was so touching and tragic, but it summed up the connection that still exists between Obi and Ani very, very well.

    I was never meant to train him, Padawan.

    My destiny was simply to find him.

    To find him, and deliver him into the right hands.

    Your hands.


    I completely agree with Qui-Gon on that one! I really do think Obi-Wan was meant to train Anakin, that he was meant to be the father figure in Anakin's life. He was a good teacher, and a good Master, just not so much a good father, by no fault of his own considering the way he'd been raised in the Temple.

    You taught him everything you knew, all that he needed to become a great Jedi Knight.

    And he was a great Jedi, for a time.
    :( :_|

    There will be a faceless mask, black as night and just as cold, and the very breath he draws will be the breath of the dead, but beneath that fearsome demon's face there will still be a pair of blue eyes looking out at you from behind shadowy depths.

    This whole section above was brilliant, I wanted to c/p the entire thing, lol, but that would have taken up an entire page, so I chose the bit of it that made me get choked up- Obi-Wan is in denial that it is still Anakin underneath that armor, but Qui-Gon knows the truth :(

    It is not your fate to see through black stone to the crystal within, though.

    Yep, our boy Luke is the Redeemer :) But I bet it stung a bit for Obi that he couldn't save the boy he raised as a son, but Luke could.

    I think that you do it as penance, Obi-Wan.

    But you have nothing for which to make amends, my Padawan.

    You did not fail him, nor me.

    You did not doom the Jedi, nor the galaxy.

    You did not hold him down in the rivers of lava while fire melted away flesh and muscle from blackened bone.

    You did not drive him into the darkness.
    :_| :_| :_|

    That is exactly what Obi-Wan needs someone to tell him, but even if he could hear it from Qui-Gon, I don't think he'd let himself off the hook. Not even Anakin could get him to stop feeling it was partly his fault.

    But that is the nature of life, Obi-Wan.

    It never happens the way one expects it to, because life itself is a living thing.


    Ah, Master Jinn, the wisest of the Old Jedi :)

    The night is long, Obi-Wan, and I fear you will not outlive it.

    You will not live to see the sunrise.
    :_|

    The sun will rise, Obi-Wan, and dispel the darkness.

    Night will fall and morning will come.

    And when that day finally comes to pass, we shall be there together, standing in the sun, waiting to welcome him home.
    [face_love] :D

    A perfect ending to a perfect, beautiful vignette! =D=
  9. AngelofDarkness Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2002
    star 2
    Oh, wow, Jen- that was brilliant! :D It just sort of flowed like poetry, the prose was beautiful, and you brought it all together at the end with a magnificent conclusion! I'm gonna plug this on my thread :p ;)
  10. Kenwalker Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2004
    star 1
    Excellent work. You have quite a gift for lyrical style.
  11. JainaSoloSkywalker Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2002
    star 2
    Beautiful! :D That was simply incredible, he he. I loved the way that you used the imagery of a sun's setting and rising again- it was a perfect metaphor for Anakin/Vader.
  12. Sword-of_the-Jedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2003
    star 1
    That was a great viggie! :D Poor Obi-Wan wasting away as he waits for Luke to grow up, haunted by the past, and poor Qui-Gon unable to help him through it :(
  13. AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2004
    star 3
    Beautiful vignette! Absolutely lovely. I enjoyed every word.
  14. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Wow, that was really quite incredible. You paint a very vivid image with words and a depth to the characters few can reach. I really enjoyed how Qui-Gon knew at the moment of his death what was to come and how he watched over Obi-Wan and his comments to him, especially how destiny led them to their parts in life... no blame laid on either.

    Very nicely done.
  15. AthenaLeigh Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 2
    Wow, that was wonderful. I really like your style. Excellent exposition. The words ring true.
  16. Opal Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2003
    star 4
    Stunning! I loved every word.
  17. Kenwalker Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2004
    star 1
    This was so good I had to read it again, lol :)

    You taught him everything you knew, all that he needed to become a great Jedi Knight.

    And he was a great Jedi, for a time.


    That single line sums up how tragic it is that Anakin falls- he had the potential to be such a force for good, such an incredible Jedi who could have helped the Order redefine itself and change for the better, but he turned his back on all of that in the end.
  18. Vaders_Granddaughter Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2003
    star 1
    And when that day finally comes to pass, we shall be there together, standing in the sun, waiting to welcome him home. :_| :D [face_love]

    I cried reading this. Then I cried some more :p It was just beautifully written, the imagery was breathtaking and it flowed incredibly well. And that ending... wow, that's all I have to say :D
  19. Jaina-Solo-Fel Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2002
    star 1
    Beautiful! [face_love] That was absolutely brilliant! :D
  20. Goddess-of-Trickery Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2002
    star 1
    Excellent work! This was a beautiful piece, JPS :) I loved how Qui-Gon knew as he died, that Obi was meant to train Anakin, and that he's been watching all along- and he's listening, Obi, even if you can't hear him
  21. JediPrincess83 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jan 30, 2003
    star 1
    Aww, that was just fantastic! Beautiful lyricism to it, as well, I loved it :D
  22. Jaya_Skywalker Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2004
    star 1
  23. rhonderoo Former Head Admin

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2002
    star 9
    I am really liking your stuff, JPS! [face_mischief]

    GREAT vig! You captured every character perfectly. Bravo. Like others, if I c/p may favorite parts, it would be the whole thing...


    and the end. :_|
  24. Kinwon Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2004
    star 1
    Another masterpiece, JPS. Beautiful piece of writing, and it was very moving, especially at the end. The imagery of that final line just wowed me.
  25. karebear214 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2002
    star 4
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