Movie quote-o-thon

"A Man's got to know his limitations." - Magnum Force

 

"A girls got to have her standards"

Real Genius

 

i g2g for a series that was changed into a film

"its the vicious circle of life Baldrik; the price hits me, i hit the cat, the cat hits the mouse and the mouse bites you on the bottom" - Blackadder

or

"always look on the bright side of life (whistleing)" - Monty Python's Life of Brian

 

"If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world? There's nothing to it." ~ Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory

 

Alejandro: Do you surrender?
Elena: Never, but I may scream.
Alejandro: I understand. Sometimes I have that effect.
- Mask of Zorro

 

"What a waste of ammo. Must be a chick thing." ~ Alien: Resurrection

 

"Get some, Get some, Get some" = Full Metal Jacket

 

"Be advised, I'm mean nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I could put a round through a fleas ass at 300 yards. So why don't you hump somebody else's leg mutt-face before I push yours in." ~ Heartbreak Ridge

 

Why Don't I just bend you over this table and give you a "just humped the neighbor's dog look on your face" - Heartbreak Ridge

 

"You know... When MY father died, I spent a lot of time thinking I hadn't been such a great son. It seemed to me like I could have listened to him a little more, spent a little more time with him... I felt so guilty, you know, like he did everything for me and I didn't do anything for him. Then one day it occurred to me... that I did the greatest thing of all for him just before he died: I was there with him, and I held his hand, and I said goodbye." ~ The Karate Kid II

 

[Shaun and Ed pull up to Barbara's house and sees Phil's Jaguar in the driveway]
Ed: Oh! Hello! Who's a pretty boy, then?
[Wolf Whistle]
Ed: You didn't tell me Barbara had a Jag. I've always wanted to drive one of those.
Shaun: Yeah, well, it's Phillip's, okay? He won't let anybody near it. Honestly, I put off a Mars bar in the glove box once and he chased me around the garden with a bit of wood.
- Shaun of the Dead

Oh man I can't get enough of this film, even the quotes have me in stitches

 

"I dunno what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is." ~ The Thing

 

Ed: Any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don't say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The "zed" word. Don't say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
Ed: Well... are they any?
Shaun: [looking out the door mail slot, sees an empty street] I don't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that.
Shaun: [turns his head, sees a pack of zombies] Oh, no, wait, there they are.
- Shaun of the Dead

 

#1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
A : We found them.
S #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
A : What do you mean?
S #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
A : The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
S #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
A : Not at all. They could be carried.
S #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
A: It could grip it by the husk!
S #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
A: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
S #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
A: Please!
S #1: Am I right?
A: I'm not interested!
S #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
S #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
S #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
A: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
S #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
S #2: Oh, yeah...
S #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...

 

"I gotta go Julia, we got cows." ~ Twister

 

"Let's show this Prehistoric Bitch how we do things downtown!" Ghostbusters

 

"If we paid you a little more could you possibly be less disgusting?"

- League of Their Own

 

"They were digging, like grave diggers!" ~ The Burbs

 

"I coulda been at a bar-b-que!" Independance Day

 

"Freeze. You're under arrest. You have the right to the remains of a silent attorney. If you cannot afford one... tough noogies. You can make ONE phone call. I recommend Trixie: 976-Triple 5-love." ~ Farscape

 

Colonel Jonathan "Jack" O'Neil: I'm on Planet 'X' lookin' for a dweeb who wears green fatigues. He wears glasses.
[puts his hands around his eyes]
Skaara: [puts his hands around his eyes, copying O'Neil]
Colonel Jonathan "Jack" O'Neil: He has long hair.
[puts his hand to his head and brings it down]
Skaara: [salutes]
Colonel Jonathan "Jack" O'Neil: And he
[pretends to sneeze]
Colonel Jonathan "Jack" O'Neil: sneezes.
Skaara: Ich!
[clucks like a chicken]
Colonel Jonathan "Jack" O'Neil: Chicken. Chicken! Yes, Chicken Man!
- Stargate

 

Hey Ron! I'm riding a furry Tractor!

 

"I feel like a Kentucky fried idiot!" ~ Rocky II

 

D'Argo: "Well, now I can only speak truth, and that comes as good and bad news."

Crichton: "All right, give me the bad news first."

D'Argo: "The bad news is that you're married, and you must endure as a statue for eighty cycles in a strange world."

Crichton: "What's the good news?"

D'Argo: "Chiana and I are having fantastic sex." ~ Farscape

 

"If I wore pants like that I'd have to kick my own a##"