Story [Multi-Fandom] Drabble Squadron (1/26: "Synchronicity" (Sapphire & Steel))

Title: Aurora Amica Musarum
Fandom: Sleeping Beauty


The three fairies stared down at the slumbering form. "True love's kiss, eh?" asked Flora. "How long do you expect that to take?"

Merryweather shrugged. "A hundred years, maybe? Nice round number, that."

"Seems a waste," Fauna said. "We should give her one of those subliminal learning tapes."

"Can it be something artistic?" asked Merryweather.

* * *

A century and change later, Prince Phillip watched as his wife danced from the statue she was sculpting to the easel where she was painting another portrait of him.

"Don't you ever get tired, dear?" he wondered.

"I can't stop myself!" she snapped. "Help me!"

 

Title: Neque Mel, Neque Apes
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Second


"What," the queen buzzed angrily, "is this mammal talking about, Doctor?" She rose from her waxy throne, and her tiny wings fluttered, lifting her a few inches off the ground.

"Your Highness, please forgive Jamie." The Doctor leaned closer to his companion and said more quietly, "Now Jamie, the queen and her guards may look like the bees of Earth, but they're not actually related, and they don't necessarily behave like the insects you're familiar with."

"I think I ken, Doctor, but it's a real shame. Do they at least have sugar, then? I need something to sweeten this tea."

 

Title: Neque Opes, Neque Opus
Fandom: The Office (US)


"I don't know what more I can do!" Michael whined, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I've tried telling them that they won't get paid if they refuse to work. I threatened to fire them all, but Toby said I can't."

Jan's voice asked over the speaker, "Well, what do they want? If everyone in the office is refusing to... Michael, do they want you to apologize for something?"

"Uh, maybe?"

"Michael, go back out there and apologize," she ordered. "Whatever this is about, if an apology will get them back to work, then do it."

"But I don't want to!"

 

Title: Qui Tacet Consentire Videtur
Fandom: Doctor Who


The figure at the far end of the table rose solemnly and leaned forward, resting his weight on his fists. "Gentlemen, and ladies," he added, nodding toward two of the board members, "the time for debate is over. All those in favour of my proposal, raise your hand."

His was the only one to be raised.

"I see. Well, all those opposed?" Now, not a single hand went up. "The proposal carries, one vote to nil, with seventeen abstaining. I'll get started right away."

The Master left the conference room, not sparing the board members' shrunken corpses a second glance.

 

Title: Nihil Scire Est Vita Iucundissima
Fandom: Red Dwarf


Kryten carefully arranged the charts and graphs on the table. "As you can see, Mr Rimmer, by a series of carefully controlled experiments, I have been able to conclusively prove that the happiest individual on this ship is the Cat."

Rimmer didn't even bother glancing at the paperwork. "Of course he is. But what you're forgetting, Kryten, is that he's only the happiest because he's a complete idiot. I'd much rather be intelligent and miserable than happy with a brain the size of a sardine."

From far down the hall, the Cat yelled, "Did someone mention sardines? Who has sardines?"

 

The subliminal tape thingy is your best in a long time.

 

Thanks.

Title: Malo Periculosam Libertatem Quam Quietam Servitutem
Fandom: Batman


"I thought," the deep, electronically distorted voice echoed, "that your goal was a world free from crime! One that no longer needed a Batman! I am offering you that world, yet you reject me! Why?"

Below, on the floor of the warehouse, Batman listened carefully, always trying to discern the voice's source. "I reject any offer that sacrifices liberty for the sake of peace!" he yelled up.

"You pathet-" began the voice, but it cut off suddenly as three batarangs flew across the open space and slammed hard into the wall in a particular spot. A second later, they exploded.

 

Title: Leporem Frondium Crepitus Terret
Fandom: Bugs Bunny


Bugs cautiously poked his head out of the burrow. The rustling had stopped, but the source still had to be out here somewhere. Intellectually, he knew that it'd probably been nothing of consequence, just another harmless woodland creature. Or maybe it'd been one of the usual idiots he liked to torment.

But he couldn't shake the dread flooding through him.

The leaves rustled again; Bugs screamed and shot fifteen feet straight up.

"Aw, did I fwighten the widdle wabbit?"

From up in a tree, Bugs told Elmer, "You know, doc, the sarcasm doesn't work when you already talk like that."

 

Title: Libra
Fandom: James Bond


Bond carefully avoided looking down. Right now, the board was still balanced over the crossbeam, but it wasn't yet taking his weight. He'd have to move fast, swinging his legs forward and hanging on by his fingertips, to avoid the entire board sliding back off its fulcrum, tipping into the abyss below.

The moment he left solid ground, he realized he'd miscalculated, badly. The crossbeam wasn't nearly as strong as it had looked; there was no way it could take his full weight, plus that of the jiggling board he was hanging from, long enough for him to get across.

 

Thanks.

Title: Unius Compendium, Alterius Dispendium
Fandom: Batman ('66)


The Joker glared as Batman and Robin swung in through the open window. Clutching the emerald idol to his chest, he snarled, "You can't make me give this up! I found it, so it's mine fair and square!"

Batman replied, "Joker, you malevolent maker of mischief, that statue belongs to the museum."

"Belonged, past tense, Batman. I think I'm going to name it Warren, after an uncle I used to have."

"Holy nine-tenths, Batman!" Robin shouted. "What can we do?"

"Patience. Joker, when you found the idol, where was it?"

The Joker said, "On that plinth, behind some Plexiglas. Why?"

 

Title: In Vestimentis Non Stat Sapientia Mentis
Fandom: Night Court


"Snazzy suit, counselor." Harry leaned forward over the bench to get a better look at Dan's new clothes.

"Handmade by a blind Italian tailor who only completes three suits a year," Dan boasted. "I've been on the waitlist since law school."

"It's very nice, Dan," Christine said.

Dan glared for a second, then regained his pride. "You know what they say, a smart suit is a sign of a smart mind."

Mac pointed past them. "I wouldn't be so sure of that." Everyone turned toward the back of the courtroom; there, in a nearly identical suit, Bull stood, nervously fidgeting.

 

Title: Via Trita, Via Tuta
Fandom: Wonder Woman


Wonder Woman addressed the group behind her without looking back. "Wait here until I tell you it's safe to move. When you do follow, step only where I have stepped, following my footprints exactly."

One of the refugees, a small girl, asked, "You're leaving us?"

Now, Wonder Woman did turn around. "Only for a moment. This is a minefield, and I must find the safe path for you to cross. Where you see a footprint instead of a crater, you know there's no mine. Where there is a crater, be glad it takes more than a landmine to harm me."

 

Title: Io!
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Sixth


The Doctor pointed at the monitor. "This, Flip, is Io, one of the moons of Jupiter, and one of only two geologically active bodies in your solar system."

"That is so cool! What's the other one, then?"

"The Earth," he replied sternly.

"Oh, right, I get it now, duh." She gestured toward the image. "You was referring to the volcanoes. Are we going out there?"

"I hadn't been planning on it, no," he explained. "What little atmosphere this moon has will almost certainly be toxic."

"Is that why those guys are wearing those suits?" she asked.

"Guys? Those are Cybermen!"

 

Thanks.

Title: Leviter Volat, Sed Graviter Vulnerat
Fandom: Torchwood


As soon as Ianto set foot in the Hub, Jack tackled him, knocking him to the ground so hard that Ianto barely noticed the pop in the air where his head had been. "Stay down!" Jack hissed.

Ianto was about to protest but stopped when he saw Gwen, gravely injured, near the stairs. "Whatever it is," Jack explained, "it's circling, riding the thermals of the air conditioning. We must find a way to-"

A sudden screech made both men look up. Myfanwy, the unofficial pet pteranodon living in the Hub, soared down, grabbed something, and flew back into the shadows.

 

Just had to visit as soon as I saw "Torchwood".

Great use of Myfanwy, And good overall.

Good punchline with the Bugs Bunny one.

Re. Wonder Woman, it might take more than a mine to stop her, but does it take more than one to lift her off the ground? She could be bouncing round that place like Sideshow Bob in a field full of rakes!

Not easy fitting legible prose in a 100 words; you are really good at this.

 

Thanks. I don't remember, besides the obvious, what prompted this one.

Title: Non Remedium Adversus Sycophantae Morsum
Fandom: Spider-Man


Peter had to be careful not to slam his fist or slap the wall as he yelled. "MJ, even if I could prove that Jameson was behind these attacks himself, it wouldn't undo the damage." To his surprise, Mary Jane had glanced away fearfully when he'd said that. "What aren't you telling me?" he wondered.

"Nothing!" But as the night sky cleared momentarily, he saw tufts of gray hair sprouting where none had been.

"Sideburns!" he spat.

She wailed, "It's not what you think!"

"I think Jameson's running around biting people, causing the strange transformations!"

"Fine, it's what you think."


EDIT: Whoops, hadn't meant to post two in one day.

 

Title: Nil Tam Inaestimabile Est Quam Animi Multitudinis
Fandom: Gotham


Harvey stuck his fingers through the blinds to peek out. "Hate to say it, partner, but there's a mess of people out there, and they're baying for your blood."

Jim grunted. "Huh. Must be an odd-numbered week. I wonder which member of Gotham's elite I ticked off this time. And," he added, glancing around at the derelict mansion, "how these 'concerned citizens' knew to come here instead of protesting at the station like everyone else."

"I'll give you two guesses on that second one," said Harvey.

Jim glanced out and saw who stood at the front of the pack. "Penguin?"

 

Title: Excute Mihi Ignem, et Allucebo Tibi
Fandom: World of Warcraft


Eyeri laid her hand on the cave's icy wall and sighed. The environment itself seemed to be fighting against her; if she couldn't so much as create a flame, how did she expect to be of any help to the other party members?

"Does anyone have something that can generate a spark?" she asked. "It doesn't need to be big." The dwarven rogue grinned and pulled out a small block of flint. He struck it with his steel dagger, and the sparks gave Eyeri all she needed and more.

Soon the party was moving, several large fireballs hovering around them.

 

Title: Omnia Mea Mecum Porto
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Seventh


The Doctor ran to the edge and reached out, but the TARDIS was already many metres away and falling ever further into the ravine. He closed his eyes and dropped to his knees.

Ace laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "The TARDIS is tough, Professor. We'll get it back."

He nodded. "It's just that, right now, everything I have in the universe is at the bottom of this chasm."

"What about the home on Allen Road, or the bank accounts you squirreled away?" she asked.

"Thousands of light years that way and millennia into the past."

Ace swore loudly.

 

Title: Fac et Excusa
Fandom: Law & Order: SVU


"Stabler, Benson, my office, now!" yelled Captain Cragen. Once they were inside, he continued, "What're you doing out there? You can't run around doing whatever you feel like and just make up excuses after the fact!" As he yelled, he slammed the door shut and closed the blinds.

After a brief pause, he burst out laughing, and they joined in. "You think anyone bought that?" he asked. "But seriously, you have to be careful pulling that with people with the power to actually ruin my day. Let's give it a minute, then go back to your desks looking chastened, okay?"

 

Title: Si Fecisti, Nega.
Fandom: Law & Order


Detective Briscoe stormed out of the interrogation room, leaving Greene alone with the suspect. Trying a different approach, he sat on the corner of the table. "Look, I get it," he said. "You want to put up a brave front, but we have video from over a dozen cameras, not to mention a couple hundred witnesses."

"Whatever," the man said, leaning back in his seat. "I still didn't do anything."

"Who're you trying to kid, man?" Greene asked.

The suspect leaned back, his hands behind his head. "Doesn't matter. I never did anything illegal, and nobody here can prove otherwise."

 

Title: Divide et Impera
Fandom: Law & Order: Criminal Intent


Detective Goren rose from the table, tapping his forehead and pointing. "I see what you're trying to do," he said. "You're playing mind games, getting me riled. Meanwhile, you're preying on my partner's concerns that I'm unstable. If you're lucky, you'll get me removed from your case. At the very least, we'll be too distracted to prove how you killed those women, right? Divide and conquer, or maybe divide and escape?"

"Have you had these paranoid delusions long?"

The door opened. "Not long at all, Dr. Baxter," said Detective Eames.

Goren grinned. "And you thought he wouldn't fall for it."

 

Title: Scorpio
Fandom: James Bond


Skorn reached into the terrarium with his tongs and picked up one of the scorpions by its tail. He slid the lid back into place and walked toward Bond's chair, holding the tongs at arm's length and leaning away from the wriggling arachnid on their end. As soon as he was close enough, he dropped it into Bond's lap and immediately stepped back.

Bond let his body relax. He didn't dare give the creature a reason to sting. He looked up at Skorn and smiled calmly. He'd just noticed what his captor had missed: Skorn hadn't latched the terrarium lid.