Story [Multi-Fandom] Drabble Squadron (1/26: "Synchronicity" (Sapphire & Steel))

Eeewwww

 

Title: Iocandum ut Seria Agas
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Twelfth and others


The Doctor glared at his past selves. "Can't you be serious just for once in your lives?"

All three stopped and just glared back. "Right, yes, fine! I know you can, so why don't you try doing it now?"

His immediate predecessor tugged at his bowtie and said, "The situation is already more than serious enough."

"It doesn't need us going around taking it seriously," the Doctor before that added.

The one before that, Mr. Leather Jacket, grinned. "And when things are at their grimmest and direst and most serious, that's when you gotta laugh."

And so they all did.

 

I love all the Doctors together

 

Thanks.

Title: O Vita Misero Longa, Felici Brevis
Fandom: Psych


Officer Lassiter glanced back over his shoulder before he walked around the corner. He glanced around again, then raised his arms and whispered, "When will this life of torment ever come to an end?"

"You just have to give in," declared a voice behind him. He spun around; both Shawn and Guster were standing at the corner, grinning naughtily.

It was Guster who'd spoken, but now Shawn added, "Start having fun with it, Lassie, and the time will fly by!"

Lassiter sneered and adjusted his tie. "Well, in that case, forget it, you knuckleheads. Call this my attempt at immortality."

 

Title: Quis Famulus Amantior Domini Quam Canis?
Fandom: Frasier


They found Martin fast asleep in his recliner, Eddie curled up on his chest. Both were snoring gently. Daphne nervously whispered, "Should I wake your father, Dr. Crane?"

"No, let's not disturb them," Frasier decided. He turned off the television and the lights while she draped a blanket over Martin's legs. After a moment, Frasier added, "'Quis famulus amantior domini quam canis?'"

He saw her lack of comprehension and was about to launch into a translation when Daphne cut him off. "I'll take your word for it," she said.

With barely any pause in his snoring, Martin muttered, "Good call."

 

I LOVE LASSITER!! And oh, Shawn and Gus

 

Without knowing the fandom at all, I can appreciate this lovely, gruesome image!

 

Thanks.

Title: Ne Iuppiter Quidem Omnibus Placet
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Third


Jo came back from her date to find the Doctor's lab barricaded and surrounded by UNIT troops as classical music blared from within. Again.

The Brigadier rushed over to her. "Ah, Miss Grant! Perhaps you can talk some sense into the Doctor!"

She nodded and knocked on the locked doors. "Doctor? It's me, Jo!"

"Jo, at last! Do you recognize this?" He answered his own question, "It's Mozart's final symphony! Can you believe that Philistine out there ordered me to turn it down? You appreciate this, don't you?"

Foolishly, Jo replied, "Well, it's not exactly rock and roll, is it?"

 

Oh, poor Doctor

 

Title: Ut Placeas, Debes Immemor Esse Tui
Fandom: Superman


"Thank you, Superman!" the old woman cooed, hugging the cat close to her. "Would you like to come in for tea?"

"I really shouldn't." As a sudden realization struck, he hastily added, "But could I, um, use your bathroom?"

"Of course," she replied. "I know how-"

And then he heard the fire alarms across town. "Sorry." By the time he'd finished with the blaze, someone was robbing a bank. And then three more crises popped up.

That's why, two hours later, on live television, he begged a reporter, "Five minutes, please! It feels like I have Kryptonite in my colon!"

 

We don't see these scenes in the movies or on TV, but you know they happened.

 

Thanks.

Title: Pisces
Fandom: James Bond


Bond was already several metres below the water's surface before he was able to regain his senses. He knew immediately that his right arm was broken, and he suspected that several ribs were as well. Ignoring the pain of his injuries, though, he quickly turned himself around and began kicking toward the surface. Then he recognized a number of silhouettes moving above him and stopped.

They weren't sharks - as much as he was bleeding, he'd have been dead already if they had been - but he would still need to be careful if he was going to swim past those barracudas.

 

Yikes!! I do not envy him.

 

Ack! They are surface feeders, too, so they're between him and air! You don't say if he's wearing a tank, but with his luck he's not! *bites nails.*

 

Title: Quicquid in Buccam Venerit, Loquitur
Fandom: Burn Notice


Knowing the difference between what needs to be said and what really doesn't is important whoever you are. When you're a spy, it's the difference between going home and never going anywhere ever again. Just as important is knowing who you can say it to.

* * *

"No, Sam," Michael insisted. "When I say the man has no filter, I mean he's neurologically incapable of keeping a secret."

Sam finished his drink and gestured to a passing waiter for another. "He's taking a medication for that now."

"And how do you know that?" asked Michael.

"Because he told me when... oh, right."

 

Title: Lingua Lapsa Verum Dicit
Fandom: The Simpsons


Marge sighed and shook her head. "I've never been so embarrassed." The sounds from inside the bathroom had stopped, so she risked opening the door.

Homer was still sitting on the floor, hugging the toilet close. "Did I say anything that wasn't true, Marge?" he wailed.

"That's not the point, Homie," she replied. "The way you behaved tonight was-"

"That's a no!" He grinned proudly and then fell backward and passed out. A moment later, he was snoring gently. Marge stepped in and quietly flushed the toilet. Suddenly, Homer shot back up and shouted. "A no!" before unconsciousness reclaimed him.

 

Title: Cassis Tutissima Virtus
Fandom: Firefly


As soon as the commotion began on the far side of the saloon, Jayne jumped to his feet and ran into the fray. Shepherd Book, meanwhile, continued his anecdote uninterrupted.

As the fight grew larger, Zoe wondered, "Should we go over?"

Mal shrugged. "I'm in the mood for a little mayhem." They turned to Book, and Mal asked, "What about you, Shepherd?"

"I think I shall stay here. I've found that the best way to avoid getting hurt in a fight is not to get into a fight." A bottle hit the wall behind him. "But if that doesn't work..."

 

Thanks.

Title: Fortuna Simillima Vento Est
Fandom: Archer


The warlord's army of mercenaries and conscripts slowly fanned out through the jungle, searching carefully for any sign of the fugitives. They checked up in every tree and probed the ground for old foxholes and tunnels left over from the last war.

In just one of those tunnels, Archer whispered, "Can you smell that, Lana? The winds of fortune are shifting."

"Did you just fart and make a stupid joke about it?" she whispered back.

"Maybe."

"Well, stop it," she snapped, "before you cut one loud enough to give away our position!"

Sadly, that warning came two seconds too late.

 

Such bad timing

 

Haha, I love a good fart joke! Why aren't superheroes super enough to control events like this? I guess non-powered ones are, after all, human like the rest of us.

 

Thanks.

Title: Optimum Est Pati Quod Emendare Non Possis
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Seventh


"As a great man once said," the Doctor explained, "you can't change history, Ace, not one line!"

She suspected he was referring to himself. Letting that go, she instead replied, "But we change stuff all the time, saving planets, stopping bad guys, that kind of thing. It's all history to someone."

"Well, I mean you can't change your own history," he amended.

She said, "But even in my past, we've done stuff like stop the haemovores."

"We prevented something that never happened in your timeline, and ensured your mother's survival."

"So we really can't change history?" she asked.

"Maybe, daren't."

 

Title: Nisi Fractum Est, Ne Sarcias
Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation


Captain Picard had to step over, duck under, walk around, and otherwise avoid dozens of bundled cables just to get into Engineering. Seeing his path now completely blocked, he yelled across, "Commander La Forge, are you in here?"

From somewhere inside, he heard Geordi's reply, "Sorry about the mess, Captain. How may I help you?"

Picard crossed his arms. "First, you can tell me why part of my ship looks like the inside of a bowl of spaghetti."

"Experimental upgrades," Geordi answered. "If this works as well as we theorized, core efficiency should go up almost half a percentage point."

 

Hee, there is a law of diminishing returns on changes, Geordi. Risking broken limbs ought to factor in somehow ...