Story [Multi-Fandom] Drabble Squadron (1/26: "Synchronicity" (Sapphire & Steel))

Title: Leo
Fandom: James Bond


Bond didn't bother to watch as his raft and oar sank to the bottom of the inlet. If he succeeded in his mission, he could find another way off this island; if he failed, he wouldn't need a way off it. Instead, he drew his Walther and darted over the rocks toward the treeline.

Lion Island had been named for a large rock formation on the mainland side, the Lion's Claw. Before Montanez had taken it over, there had never been actual large cats here. Now there were dozens, and Bond didn't want to risk finding himself on their menu.

 

Title: Fuge Excessum, Fuge Negotia, Laetus in Praesens
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Fifth


Tegan deliberately grabbed another drink and glared at the Doctor. "You're not going anywhere, mister! These people are throwing us a party in gratitude for saving their planet, and we're going to let them! We're staying here, and we're all enjoying ourselves, even if the rest of us have to take turns holding you down to keep you from fleeing!"

The Doctor pleaded, "But Tegan-"

"No buts! Stay, enjoy, celebrate!"

* * *

Tegan struggled against her manacles long after the others had given up. How had the natives turned on them so suddenly?

The Doctor tutted. "I tried to warn you, Tegan."

 

Title: Summae Opes Inopia Cupiditatum
Fandom: DuckTales


Scrooge was pulling coins from his ear and missed the question. "Pardon?" he asked.

Fenton repeated, "Mr. McDuck, what do you desire most in all the world?"

Scrooge looked around at his extended family members, his valued employees who were like family, and a few other friends he'd made along the way. "They say the wealthiest man is one who wants for nothing. Being here with all of you, I truly feel like the wealthiest duck in the world. Oh, and there's my money bin, of course."

He grinned. "That said, have you heard of the Great Topaz of Eiderebebe?"

 

Title: Panem et Circenses
Fandom: Batman


The mayor leaned back in his chair and inhaled deeply. "That, Batman, is the smell of the adoration of my people. Go back to your precious Gotham."

Batman hissed, "You've been using the city coffers to line your pockets for decades. It ends now."

"Why? The people don't care!" the mayor gloated. "As long as the proles have their food and entertainment, they're happy to let me do what I want."

"Do they know you call them proles?"

"Nice try. Anyone who knows what the word means assumes he isn't one."

Batman showed the recorder. "So anyone who doesn't know..."

 

Title: Alia Res Sceptrum, Alia Plectrum
Fandom: Blackadder the Third


Prince George grinned as Edmund came into the royal bedchamber with His Highness's breakfast. "Do you know what I've always wanted to do?" George asked. "Like, always?"

Edmund inquired, "Always as in since birth, or always as in since you woke up not three minutes ago?"

"I don't recall. Probably closer to that second one there. I've always wanted to wanted to play the harp! Or the guitar! Or the drums! You know, I should learn all the instruments!"

Edmund nodded. "Very good. Of course, learning to play even one instrument well requires years of study."

"Just forget it, then."

 

Excellent drabble - now I'm hearing the music in my head - Blackadder, Blackadder ...

 

Thanks.

Title: Cervus Hic Sistit
Fandom: Captain Kangaroo


Mr. Moose shook his head. "I'm not moving." At the far end of the counter, Bunny Rabbit nodded emphatically.

"Why not?" the Captain asked.

"You know the expression, 'The buck stops here'? Well, I'm a buck, and I'm stopping right here!" After a second, he moved much closer to Bunny. "No, here. I'm stopping here. Both us bucks are."

The Captain wondered, "But isn't a male moose called a-"

"Don't step on my bit!" yelled Mr. Moose. "As for why, isn't it obvious? So I'm not too close when the ping pong balls fall!"

And almost immediately, the cascade began.

 

I can just picture that.

 

Thanks.

Title: Duce Tempus Eget
Fandom: Doctor Who


"Time, left to its own vicissitudes, will descend into chaos. The universe will degenerate into pandemonium. Unchecked, disorder will be inevitable. That is the nature of entropy, on every order of magnitude, from the largest of galaxies to the tiniest of particles.

"If this is to be stopped or even held off for a few millennia, it will need to be done by the first species to develop time travel. This is because there will not be a second species to develop time travel. And do we," Rassilon asked, "trust anyone else to become the new lords of time? No!"

 

Title: Digito Monstrari, et Dicier; Hic Est!
Fandom: Psych


Shawn slapped Gus gently on the shoulder, then again, slightly harder. "Wha-" Gus began when Shawn hit him a third, even harder, time. "What?" he snapped.

Shawn nodded toward two young women further along the pier, glancing at them, pointing, and giggling. Shawn gave his most disarming smile. "Where do you think they recognize me from? American Duos? Explosion Giantesca de Romance? Paths of Love? The Mentalist?"

Gus ignored that, instead saying, "Or it could be we're standing right under that billboard ad I told you cost too much. Shawn, you haven't looked up to see the graffiti, have you?"

 

Title: Semel Insanivimus Omnes
Fandom: Danger Mouse


The Baron ran as fast as he could for the exit. "Nobody plays the great Baron Greenback for a fool!"

His henchcrow Stiletto got there much faster and turned back to yell, "That'sa right! And all thosea times you did it before don'ta count!"

Already exhausted and still nowhere near the door, the Baron wheezed, "Shut up! Come back here and help me to- oof!" He tumbled to the floor after Danger Mouse casually walked over and socked him across the jaw.

"Youa got this one, boss!" Stiletto yelled as he ran away. "I'lla go get the jet warmed up!"

 

Title: Iuvenilibus Annis Luxuriant Animi
Fandom: Ghostbusters (2016)


Erin didn't want to admit it, but even now, whenever she saw teenagers, she just saw everyone she went to high school with. "Maybe," she suggested, not entirely sure herself whether she meant it, "we could just let the ghosts have them? Possession being nine tenths and all?"

And then the first glob of something splattered against the side of her head.

* * *

As they loaded the last of the full traps into the car, Erin posited, "New hypothesis: What if all teenagers just spend several years possessed by evil spirits?"

Abby chuckled. "Yeah, everybody already knows that; they're called hormones."

 

Title: O Quantum Est in Rebus Inane
Fandom: Farscape


Ka D'Argo sat back against the bulkhead and leaned his Qualta against his shoulder. "Face it, Zhaan. Life's an unending shower of dren until you're hit by the biggest, stinkiest lump of all, death." As if to punctuate his statement, more rocks pinged off the roof of the stolen shuttlecraft. Had the Peacekeepers finally found them, or were they still firing at random asteroids?

Zhaan considered this for a moment. "I've found that it is the excrement of life that acts as the best fertilizer."

D'Argo didn't answer. He'd really liked his metaphor, and now she'd permanently frelled it up.

 

On this screen, Tegan's party aspirations, and the McDuck wishlist, were the best ones.

 

Title: Difficile Est Saturam Non Scribere
Fandom: Superman


"Kent!"

The word cut through all the chatter and almost echoed across the newsroom. Clark stood and replied, "Coming, Chief!"

He was barely halfway there when Perry started talking. "Kent, this piece about the mayoral debates reads like bad satire!"

"But I just reported what was said," Clark explained.

"And that's precisely the problem!" He shooed Kent into his office and closed the door. "Listen, kid, reality is a bad satire. As a reporter, it's your job to turn it into good satire."

Clark stammered, "I don't know that I can do that, sir."

"Get Lane to help you, then."

 

Title: Rem Acu Tetigisti
Fandom: Suicide Squad


Floyd moved back a few more feet. "It doesn't matter what the weapon is," he said as he set the folded paper triangle on a tiny end table and began minutely adjusting its position. "I never miss." He flicked the triangle with his finger; it flew across the room in a perfect arc and dropped right into the gap between Harley's fingers.

She laughed. "I bet I can think of one weapon you're not so trained in using: sarcasm."

* * *

Harley's screams of "I'll murdalize da bum!" echoed down the hallway as the guards struggled to pull her off Floyd. "Murdalize!"

 

Title: Talis Qualis
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine


The room had been hidden in a back corner of the upper level of Quark's Bar since he'd made his original "renovations" after taking over. Now, behind its hologram facade, he and the surviving members of the station's command crew watched as the latest wave of invaders stormed the Promenade.

Odo began again, "This plan-"

"Such as it is," Quark added quietly.

The others ignored him as Odo continued, "Will be to try to reach my office-"

Quark again interjected, "Such as it is." Now some of the others did glare. "Okay, that one," he admitted, "was just for fun."

 

Title: Qui Me Amat, Amat et Canem Meum
Fandom: G.I. Joe


Scarlett sat across from Snake Eyes and put her hand over his. "I hate to say this, but Timber's getting up there in years. At some point, it'll be crueler keeping him alive than ending his suffering."

He just tilted his head and stared. "All right, fine," she blurted. "He's been pooping in my quarters again."

"He ain't been doin' that in mine," Dusty said.

"Nor mine," Alpine added. Around the mess hall, other Joes chimed in, saying the same.

"Really? Just mine?"

Shipwreck announced, "He's been doing it in mine for years!"

"That," Scarlett decided, "just makes it worse!"

 

Title: Bonis Omnia Bona
Fandom: Firefly


Jayne plopped himself down on the couch. "Shepherd, when was the last time you ever complained good and proper?"

Book replied, "I've made my dissatisfaction known on several occasions since-"

"Nah," Jayne said. "I'm talking about getting riled up, losing that calm exterior of yours."

"Believe me, I've been tempted. But someone once said that the truly good always saw the good in everything around them and so never complained. Don't get me wrong. I'm no saint, but I try to follow their example."

Jayne snorted. "Sounds like a load of bull to me."

Book just nodded and smiled politely.

 

Title: Virgo
Fandom: James Bond


Bond knocked over his drink as he staggered back from the bar, fighting to remain conscious. He tried to form words, but his mouth felt leaden.

"You see, Mr. Barrett," explained Father Patronus, "when I told you that none of our drinks ever contained alcohol, I never said anything about other, more powerful substances. I'm really curious if the dosage I used will prove fatal to you, Mr. Barrett. "Or should I say Mr. Bond?"

Bond desperately tried to lash out but wasn't sure if his arm even rose. Instead, he tripped toward Patronus, asleep before ever he made contact.

 

Title: Puteus si Hauriatur Melior Evadit
Fandom: How I Met Your Mother


"Ted," Barney declared, "if you want to break out of a rut, you need to change direction completely."

Ted gestured at the hallway around them. "Is that why you brought me to a high school?"

"Please. They hold adult education classes here at night." He stopped beside a classroom door. "I present to you, wait for it, Ballroom Dance 101."

He opened the door and led Ted inside. Ted was immediately struck by two things. First, almost all the students were women. Second, not one was under fifty.

Barney grinned. "I know, right? You'll be thanking me in the morning."

 

Thanks.

Title: Via Ovicipitum Dura Est
Fandom: Batman (1966)


Robin struggled in vain against his chains, but Batman stood resolute. He asked, "Why turn your genius toward evil, Egghead, when there's so much good you could be doing in the world?

"You'll never understand how eggscrutiating it can be to be this smart. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone incapable of understanding the most basic concepts? That's every conversation I've had, ever.

"Why endure that, when I can instead remake the world in my own glorious image?" Egghead leaned back and laughed, unaware that he'd stopped punning or that Batman had already escaped his chains.

 

Title: Si Scholam Spernas Stultum Stes
Fandom: 30 Rock


The high school students cheered as Tracy came to the podium.

After it had gone on for nearly a minute, he yelled, "Oi, shut up! The judge says I got to talk to you kids about staying in school!

"No, really, listen!" he shouted, though nobody else had said anything. "It turns out there's important stuff you can learn in school! Like you know how it's funny when a bunch of words start with the same letter? There's a term for that! Alliteration! A teacher just taught me that!"

At the back, Liz grunted; Tracy "rediscovered" alliteration every other week.