Story [Multi-Fandom] It's a Drabble! (12/31: "The Giving of Thanks" (Guardians of the Galaxy))

Title: Sapience
Fandom: Star Trek


The Federation's best lawyers racked up hundreds of hours as they and their staffs scoured the regulations, but to no avail. They'd been beaten, and most of them recognized it. The laws against the genetic manipulation of sapient species only applied to those that already had it. Giving human levels of intelligence to animals wasn't technically illegal. Taking it away again definitely was.

By the time they'd closed that loophole, Earth had become a planet overrun by intelligent creatures large and small. Inevitably, of course, some of them chose to join Starfleet.

"And that's why your new captain's a lobster."

 

Oh I am speechless!

 

Oh, that last line

 

Thanks.

Title: A Kick in the Shed
Fandom: The Avengers / Mr. Bean


This, Steed thought, was distinctly embarrassing. He'd been holding his own in the fight with the two foreign agents, only to discover there had, in fact, been three. Now he was locked in this shed, while they were probably halfway to-

He heard someone outside and stood on his toes to look out through the tiny window. A small boy was staring back. "Hi, what's your name?" asked Steed.

In a surprisingly deep, soft voice, the boy replied, "Bean, sir."

Steed grinned. "Well, Bean, would you be a sport and just open that door for-"

Bean turned and ran away.

 

Title: About a Boy
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Second


The giant figure stood in the doorway, silhouetted against the night sky beyond. "Where is the boy?" it demanded with a deep, reverberating voice. "You will bring the boy to me now!"

The Doctor nervously looked about the room and bounced from one foot to the other. "Well, ah, you see, you'll have to be more specific about that," he stammered.

"What do you mean?" The figure now stepped forward into the room. Its armor was such a deep black that it still resembled a silhouette. "How many boys are there?"

"In a way, aren't we all boys at heart?"

 

Title: A Whiff of Danger
Fandom: Modesty Blaise


Modesty and Willie crept across the darkened room and knelt by the door. Willie started to draw his knives until Modesty gestured for him to put them away. He knew better than to argue; a second later, he understood her reasoning completely.

She silently counted down from three, and then he kicked the door open. They both burst through, to find only Sir Gerald Tarrant waiting for them. "I didn't startle you, I trust," he said calmly.

"You should thank your secretary," replied Modesty, just as calmly. "That cologne you've been wearing since Christmas may have just saved your life."

 

Title: In from the Wild
Fandom: The Simpsons


The front door opened and slammed back closed. By the time Marge reached the foyer, Lisa was halfway up the stairs, while Homer stood outside yelling apologies. "Lisa, dear," she asked, "what did your father do this time?"

"Why do you assume everything is always my fault?" snapped Homer.

Marge ignored him. "Lisa, why are you home from vegan camp so early?"

"He murdered a deer and started to eat it raw!"

"I couldn't help it! I was hungry!" Homer protested. "You don't know what it's like to go so long without meat!"

Lisa cried, "We'd been there an hour!"

 

OH.MY.GOD. This may be my favourite thus far and I love The Simpsons!

 

Oh, poor Lisa

 

Thanks.

Title: A Flash of Brilliance
Fandom: Doctor Doom / The Simpsons


Lightning flashed and thunder boomed as Doctor Doom raised his armored fist above his head. Of course, both had been created artificially by Latverian scientists just to punctuate his gesture, but he wasn't going to tell his captive that. He towered over the chained man. "Yours is one of the greatest minds on Earth. After my own, of course," he added. "And now you will be putting that genius to work for me."

"Thank you for calling me a genius, which of course I am, hoil!" said Professor Frink. "I like the artificial lightning with the thunder and the flashing!"

 

Title: Cabbie Pressure
Fandom: Animaniacs


As soon as the previous fare stumbled out of the cab, the couple was already pushing past him to get in. They immediately called out their destination and pulled the door closed after them, so they never saw the man collapse and quietly throw up on the sidewalk.

Only as the cab lurched forward, running a red light, did the wife notice something amiss. "Dear, is our cab driver a chicken?"

A bicyclist bounced off the hood. "Rather the opposite, I'd say," her husband replied.

"No, I mean literally," she said. "He's a chicken, I'm telling you. A giant chicken!"

 

Title: Heir to the Thrown
Fandom: Ghostbusters


Egon waved his PKE meter about the dressing room, listening as its beeping quickened and slowed. Soon, he began zeroing in on something at the back of the room.

Behind him, Winston said, "I hope it's not the ventriloquist's dummy." A few seconds later, Egon walked past the dummy. Winston exhaled slowly, releasing a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding.

Egon stopped when the beep became a constant whine, but he was standing in an open space; there wasn't anything in the spot indicated. "Curious," he said.

And then he rounded to face Winston. "Did you say 'ventriloquist's dummy'?"

 

"No, I mean literally," she said. "He's a chicken, I'm telling you. A giant chicken!"

They might regret this ...

 

Thanks.

Title: It's Raining Bots
Fandom: Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars


For three days, pieces of what'd once been robot assassins had been falling from the sky, keeping townsfolk indoors. Sparks had tried venturing out once, desperate to be alone in the Marshal's Station instead of in the saloon with Red and Felton, but a chunk of metal arm sent him scurrying back.

"This is all your fault, Sparks," Red muttered for the millionth time.

"Nuh uh. My robot fists were overtuned. Wasn't my doing."

Fenton yelled, "You punched them into low orbit!"

"Don't you dare say you guess you don't know your own strength!" added Red. "Not again."

"Wasn't gonna."

 

Title: The Carrion Kind
Fandom: Clue


Mrs. Peacock stared beyond the bars of the cage at the members of the tribe going about their business. "Are they going to eat us too?"

"True cannibalism's actually quite rare," replied Prof. Plum.

Col. Mustard scoffed. "Tell that to poor Boddy out there!"

"But he was already dead," the professor countered. "So that's more like eating carrion than cannibalism."

"Killed by a rock, I might add," said the village's chief, "wielded by one of you six." He leaned on the cage and peered inside. "Come on, someone had to have seen something! You're barely five feet apart in there!"

 

So not shocked that they still can't tell who did it

 

Title: Out in the Cold
Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation


Even before the shimmer of the transporter had faded, Captain Picard realized the trouble he was in. He was supposed to have beamed down to the Federation's new embassy on Deminimus Minor. Instead of a diplomatic reception hall, though, he saw only frozen tundra under a cloudless blue (not orange) sky. Had he been pulled to some distant system? By whom?

A second after he'd materialized, the intense, biting cold hit him. He staggered, barely able to tap his combadge.

"Sorry about that, Captain."

Picard gasped, "Barclay?"

"Your teleport was accidentally diverted to Holodeck Two. Which may be malfunctioning slightly."

 

Slightly?

 

Title: After and Before
Fandom: Pinky and the Brain


The Brain glanced back at Pinky, who was falling further and further behind him. The loss of blood was definitely taking its toll; Pinky was swaying dangerously. And then he stumbled, sprawling on the ground, the shredded stump of his tail sticking straight up.

In that moment, the Brain did something he would always regret: he ran away, leaving Pinky at the mercy of violent men who had none.

It had all started out so simply, with the Brain trying the addition of a single prefix: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the underworld!"

 

EEEEK, this one's dark!

 

This

And aww, poor Pinky!

 

Thanks. Sometimes I surprise myself at the turns they take. I wrote this one the day Leonard Nimoy passed.

Title: Ex Machina
Fandom: Star Trek


Spock stood tall and declared, "Excuse me, but it is not logical to desire to live forever."

The computer's lights actually blinked. "Really? How so? Are you saying that to desire anything is inherently illogical? Or do you mean that there is something illogical specifically about wanting immortality? I would think that to continue would be one of the most logical things to want. After all..."

For ten minutes, Spock stood silently as the computer continued its ceaseless argument with its increasingly imagined opponent. It didn't even notice when he was beamed out just before the Enterprise's phaser barrage began.

 

Superb! Ah, one wonders what a LoTR and Trek crossover would look like. Can you imagine Spock conversing with Galadriel or Gandalf? Oooh, can I have a fangirl melt-down?

 

Title: Open Secrets
Fandom: Arrow

"What's the point of a secret hideout," shouted Felicity, "if random strangers can keep wandering in?"

The man in the glanced down at his clipboard. "Are you Oliver Queen?" he asked, his voice heavily accented.

"Do I look like an Oliver?" she snarked.

"I don't know. I was just given name and address." He turned to John. "Are you Oliver Queen?"

John shook his head. "Sorry, man."

"Then who here is Oliver Queen?"

Felicity replied, "Nobody. He's off on one of his mysterious trips. Perhaps we can help you, unless you're here to kill him or something."

"Not now, no."

 

Title: A Dangerous Legacy
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: First


The Doctor staggered and fell back against the wall of the console room; he slid down until he lay in a heap on the floor.

Steven and Sara rushed to his side. "Doctor, are you hurt?" asked Steven.

"Only my pride, dear boy," the Doctor replied. As the others helped him to his feet, he repeated, "Only my pride."

"What was it that hit you?" wondered Sara. "Some kind of sonic booby trap left by the Monk?"

"Nothing so exciting. It seems nobody's used the console's inbuilt radio since my granddaughter left. She always liked her music a bit loud."