Story [Multi-Fandom] It's a Drabble! (12/31: "The Giving of Thanks" (Guardians of the Galaxy))

Title: The Disembodied
Fandom: The Office


"You have failed me for the last time!"

Startled, Michael looked up from his paperwork, but he was alone in his office. Even the camera crew was outside. "I said," the deep voice intoned again, "you've failed me for the last time, Michael Scott!"

"All right!" Michael yelled, jumping back out of his seat. "Who's doing this? Show yourself!"

* * *

David Wallace set down the microphone and laughed. Even now, he imagined, Michael would be freaking out, not knowing that the voice was coming from a hundred miles away. If only he had a way to see or hear that reaction.

 

Title: Under the Dome
Fandom: Get Smart


"Chief," Max declared, "this calls for the Cone of Silence!"

The Chief shook his head. "No, it really doesn't."

"The regulations are clear. The Cone of Silence is required!"

"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." The Chief flipped a switch, and the latest iteration of the Cone descended. It was still two small domes connected by electronics, but the usually transparent plastic had been replaced with opaque gray.

After a moment, Max said, "Chief, I can't see or hear you, and I don't know if you can hear me. If you can, knock once. If not, knock twice."

 

Oh, Max And I love the troublesome cone making an apperance

 

Classic! Totally Max.

 

Thank you.

Title: Here Comes the Son
Fandom: The Avengers


The young man exhaled slowly. "There's no gentle way for me to tell you, so I'm just going to say it. I'm your son." He looked at Steed and Mrs. Peel in turn. "Yours. And yours."

"One would think I'd remember something like that," Steed quipped.

Emma added, "I'd certainly have noticed."

"I'm from the future!" the man said hastily. "It hasn't happened yet."

Emma and Steed turned to each other; Steed wiggled his eyebrows.

"Ew, no! One of you is my biological parent. The other's the surrogate who'll bear me."

Steed nodded. "I know which I hope I'll be."

 

Title: Onward and Howard
Fandom: Red Dwarf


The figure vaulted down the short staircase and crossed over to Rimmer in two strides. "Arnold Judas Rimmer, as I live and breathe!"

"You do neither of those things," said Rimmer.

The figure asked, "Is that any way to talk to your favourite brother?"

"I hated Howard!"

The figure shrugged. "As much as the other two? Least unfavourite still counts."

* * *

Kryten continued to fold laundry as he listened to Rimmer's story. "What I don't get, Mister Rimmer, sir, is why you didn't call the creature out for addressing you by your full name."

"Why?" Rimmer wondered. "What's weird about that?"

 

A couple weeks ago, I was marathoning through most of the second season and into the third - which I still need to finish - and as I thought about one of the show's more famous plot holes, I started suspecting that maybe, instead, something like the below was afoot.

Title: The Mind Clouds
Fandom: Wonder Woman


Steve entered the computer room but didn't immediately cross over to the interface. "Ira," he asked hesitantly, "do you mind if I bend your ear about something?"

"I have no ear, Major Trevor," the computer replied, "but I am a good listener. I can help, provided this is not about Diana Prince being Wonder Woman again."

"Diana's been kind of- what?" Steve gasped. "How can Diana be Wonder Woman? What do you mean again?"

"I mean we have had this conversation thirty-seven times, most recently last Thursday," explained IRAC, "but you never remember."

Steve shook his head. "Never remember what?"

 

Steed nodded. "I know which I hope I'll be."

One would hope

 

Title: Unlicensed Lucy
Fandom: Peanuts


To an outside observer, the judge's voice sounded more like a muted trumpet than actual human speech. Lucy, though, had no trouble understanding every single word.

"Lucy van Pelt," the deep baritone asked, "are you now or have you ever been a licensed psychiatric professional?"

Lucy shifted nervously on the stand. "A professional, Your Honor?" she repeated. "Licensed? I wouldn't say that I'm licensed, exactly. Or at all. I guess you're right, sir." She thought for a moment, then asked, "How do I get a license? Testing? Does this test have an eye exam? I'm very good at eye exams."

 

Oh, Lucy

 

Title: Stand and Be Counted
Fandom: Ghostbusters


"Peter Venkman!" the disembodied voice yelled again. "Stand and be counted!"

Peter had heard echoes of the voice calling out to his friends, but he could see nothing but the inky void in which he'd been floating for minutes? Hours? Days? Wouldn't it be neat, he thought, if he returned to the real world the same age only to discover decades had gone by?

Instead, the first thing he discovered was that he'd been floating upside down. He slammed into the ground headfirst.

"Stand and be counted!"

Peter slowly rose to his feet, and the voice shouted, "One! All done!"

 

Title: Rabbit Test
Fandom: Discworld


"My ears!" screamed the young witch. "What happened to them?"

Granny didn't bother looking up from her work. "When you've been a rabbit so long, not everything bounces back so fast."

"You turned me into a rabbit?" Granny wondered if the girl ever dropped below a full shriek.

"No," she replied, "I made you human again. Mostly. You're welcome."

"Then who turned me into a rabbit?" Finally, barely a shout.

Granny pointed without looking. "Over there. Who do you see?"

"Nobody. There's just a mirror," the girl replied.

"Right. Who do you see?"

"Nobody! Who turned me into a rabbit?"

 

Title: Attorney at Thaw
Fandom: Captain Caveman / Saturday Night Live

"Oonga boonga," Captain Caveman moaned, "what happen?"

A tall woman in a sharp suit leaned in close. "You've been thawed out," she hissed. "Again. And now you've been served. Also again."

He rubbed at his head. "But-"

"Getting refrozen for fifteen years," she said, "wasn't going to make the Teen Angels' sexual harassment suit go away."

"Statute of Limitations?"

A new voice yelled, "Talking to my client without me, Miss Dunn? Hello, Captain, I'm Keyrock, and I may be an unfrozen caveman just like you, but I'm also a lawyer, so I know when to say this interview is over!"

 

Title: In the Head of the Knight
Fandom: Scooby Doo


"Ha!" laughed Shaggy. "The Naughty Knight has fallen!" Fred kicked at the fallen suit of armor.

"Let's see who's inside there," Velma said. She knelt beside the knight's head and reached for the faceplate on its helmet. "If I'm right, it should be..."

She lifted the visor to reveal an impossibly deep chasm where someone, anyone should have been. Though the helmet was barely larger than a human head, the vortex inside stretched into infinity. Suddenly exposed to the outside reality, it began to pull everything and everyone into itself, and the effect was growing noticeably stronger with every second.

 

Definitely a tight spot for Scooby and the gang.

 

Title: Hangs a Tale
Fandom: The Avengers (US)


Natasha finished draping garlands of tinsel over every windowsill in the Mansion. She couldn't shake the feeling that she was being punished for something.

"What," she screamed, "is that?"

"Huh?" Hawkeye glanced over from the work he'd been doing, hanging sprigs of mistletoe in various doorways. "You know you want to kiss me right now," he teased, puckering and unpuckering his lips as he spoke.

Natasha decided she was definitely being punished. "Mistletoe killed Thor's beloved brother," she explained. "If he sees that hanging there, he's going to-"

A familiar voice called out from the front hall, "Verily, I'm home!"


EDIT: The inspiration for the Scooby drabble wasn't so much "beneath the surface" as "beneath the sir face."

 

Title: Thin as Paper
Fandom: Doctor Who


"I don't think this will work, Drax."

Drax grunted and rested his hands on his toolbelt. "Doctor, you worry too much. Everything's gonna be great."

"The Daleks aren't going to fooled," the Doctor retorted, "into thinking I'm one of them because I'm wearing a paper mask."

Drax said, "Give me one good reason."

The Doctor slid on the mask and stood silently before Drax. And then he turned, showing Drax his obviously non-Dalek profile.

Drax shrugged. "Well, then, never let them see you from that angle. When you're wearing the mask, always look the Daleks right in the ol' eyestalks!"

 

Title: I Work Alone
Fandom: Batman: The Brave and the Bold


Batman sat up, roughly shoving his lower jaw back into place. "This," he muttered, "is why I prefer working alone."

Green Arrow helped him to his feet. "You say that a lot, you know, but I've almost never seen you doing it."

"You do know what 'alone' means, right?" asked Batman.

"And you know what I mean. If you're not teaming up with me, you're off somewhere with Plastic Man," Green Arrow continued, "or Blue Beetle or some forgotten hero from the third tier. When was the last time you really worked alone?"

"Tonight, right up until you showed up."

 

Aww, the Dark Knight likes his friends

 

Title: Bothered and Bewildered
Fandom: Bewitched


Samantha wiggled her nose, and Darrin's drawing table became incorporeal. "Honey," she said as she slid around in front of her husband, "the kids are at friends', Mother's having a girls' night out with Uncle Arthur, and Larry Tate's still in hiding since the indictment. Why don't you take tonight off, and we can..." She whispered the rest into his ear.

DING DONG!

"Let's just ignore it," she suggested. Darrin nodded enthusiastically.

The doorbell rang again, somehow even louder. "I have a better idea," said Darrin. "Let's see who it is and kill them."

"Like we did to the Kravitzes?"

 

Very creative

 

Thanks.

Title: Bad Dates
Fandom: Indiana Jones


As something vaguely resembling focus slowly forced its way through the undulating waves of drunken stupor, Indy risked sitting up. Almost immediately, he regretted it, and he fell back. He'd been up just long enough to see that Sallah had been suffering as well. "What," Indy moaned, "happened?"

"Bad dates," Sallah muttered back.

Indy tried to approximate a nod. "Right, I remember."

* * *

Something about a flapper, maybe? She had the bob haircut, he was sure, though he couldn't recall the color nearly so well. Blonde, maybe? Light brown? Who was she? Perhaps a redhead?

* * *

"It's all coming back," he lied.

 

I kinda feel bad for him ... but it sounds like he might deserve it a little