Story [Multi-Fandom] It's a Drabble! (12/31: "The Giving of Thanks" (Guardians of the Galaxy))

Thanks.

Title: Chew Toy
Fandom: Blake's 7


As he and Avon stepped out of the teleporter, Vila grinned toward Cally. "You should've seen it," he said. "For all that he pretends otherwise, Avon is just a big softie at heart."

Avon scowled. "I have no idea what he's on about."

"Don't think I didn't notice how you were playing with that dog," chided Vila.

"That wasn't playing. I was trying to prevent it tearing out my throat."

Vila kept smiling. "A likely story."

"Are you mounting a defence for just watching instead of coming to my aid?" asked Avon.

"I think," Cally said, "that he's teasing you."

 

Title: We Meet Again
Fandom: Blake's 7


Servalan didn't realise at first that her guards were no longer following her. When she did, she glanced back; their corpses had arrows protruding from their necks. She turned to face forward again, and Kerr Avon stood directly in her path.

"We meet again, Madam President," he hissed. He held no bow, which meant more of his friends had to be nearby. And armed.

She nodded. "Clever."

"When nothing more technologically advanced works on this planet..."

"Go back to basics," she finished. "If only you could make a basic way to get off this planet."

He said, "You're stuck too."

 

Title: Word of Honor
Fandom: Star Trek


He read, "'Klingons value honor above all other things.' It doesn't say what honor is, though."

"Well, dear," she said, "I presume that'd be somewhere inside the book."

He opened to the table of contents. "You're right. There's a chapter called, 'What Is Honor?' And others called, 'No, Really, What Do Klingons Mean When They Talk About Honor?' and, 'Explain This Whole Honor Thing Again, Using Smaller Words.'"

She took the copy of Raising Klingons for Non-Klingons from him to see for herself. "This is silly. It's not like anyone's ever had to rely on books for raising human kids."

 

Step by step parenting guide for Klingons

 

Title: How I Left Your Father
Fandom: How I Met Your Mother
Spoilers: "Last Forever"


As Ted sat at his desk, recounting years upon years of romantic conquests, two figures stood outside, watching from a distance.

"You're taking a great risk being here," the taller one said.

"They won't see me," the shorter figure replied. "I just had to look in on them one last time."

"You've said that before. I know it's tough, but as far as they're aware, you've been dead for years. They're moving on with their lives. You need to do the same."

"All right, fine." Tracy instinctively patted the hidden holster where she kept her silenced pistol. "Who's tonight's target?"

 

That would be an interesting twist! (And ugggggg did I hate the ending.)

 

Thanks.

Title: It's Not You, It's Me
Fandom: Pushing Daisies


Four figures burst out of the swirling chaos and staggered forward into the clear night. "How," wondered Ned aloud, "did we wind up in this mess again?"

"It's because of me," insisted Olive.

"You always think everything's about you!" Emerson snapped. "Ain't no way that this is-"

A fifth figure emerged, a tall, gaunt figure, with one arm raised; a single, skeletal finger pointed straight at Olive. "Olive Snook," the figure hissed, "I have come for you."

Chuck said, "I'm with Olive on this one."

Olive laughed hysterically. "See?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't let it go to your head," Emerson moaned.

 

Title: The Woolen Menace
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Fourth


Romana peered warily at the hatstand. "Doctor, I think-"

He silenced her with a look and nodded toward the telepathic circuit on the console.

They both touched the circuit; she stared into his eyes and thought, "I think your scarf is moving."

"My scarf's over in that chair. You're looking at our Rutan infiltrator. Don't let on."

She gasped. "You know?"

"Don't worry," he assured her, "K-9's guarding it." Not being telepathic, the robot dog didn't look up.

"Why doesn't he just blast it now?" she wondered.

"That would be far too risky," he thought. "He might damage the hatstand."

 

Thanks, Mira.

Title: Junior's Daddy
Fandom: Smokey and the Bandit / M*A*S*H


"Junior, there ain't no way on this Earth," Sheriff Buford T. Justice announced for the fourth time that day, "that you can be the product of my loins."

"I know, Daddy. I know."

* * *

As the sheriff's casket was lowered into the ground, Junior felt his mother's hand on his shoulder. "Son," she said softly, "there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a lot of years. Buford wasn't really your daddy. Your real father was an Army officer named Donald Penobscot. I lost track after he left for Korea."

Junior nodded. "I think Daddy - dead Daddy - might've suspected that."

 

Title: Straight to the Head
Fandom: 30 Rock


Frank sat in the outer office, pretending to read a magazine. It had been almost eighteen months since he'd had a writing commission, and he was so desperate that he was willing to prostrate himself for a staff job for some serialized drama from the depths of basic cable.

The secretary didn't look up. "Mr. Rossitano, he'll see you now."

Frank went through into a small meeting room, where a familiar face greeted him. "Lutz?" asked Frank. "What are you doing here? I'm supposed to be meeting the head writer."

Lutz grinned. "That's me."

"Yeah, right. Where is he really?"



Shortly after I wrote this drabble, this segment aired on Late Night with Seth Meyers. A friend of mine played one of the non-speaking interns.

 

You can probably guess what inspired this one.

Title: The Center
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager


Chakotay stood as Captain Janeway entered the bridge. "We're approaching now, Captain," he announced. "The astrophysics department has confirmed that this system is geocentric, but they're at a loss to figure out how."

"It's what?" she asked.

"Geocentric. Everything revolves, not around the star, but around the fourth planet," he explained.

"But isn't that normal?"

"No," said Chakotay, "it's not. Not at all."

"Of course it is, just like how the sun goes around the Earth." Everyone on the bridge turned to stare at her.

"Are you unwell?" asked Tuvok.

"Why would you ask that? Am I missing something here?"

 

Title: Abdicating Vila
Fandom: Blake's 7


Vila trudged down from the platform behind the others. "I'll never forgive you for dragging me back here, Avon," he groused.

"You should be thanking me for getting you away from that planet full of mental defectives."

Tarrant snorted. "Avon, you think everyone who isn't you is a mental defective."

"Perhaps," admitted Avon, "but these were far worse than most."

"I liked them," Vila insisted.

"You would."

"They were practically ready to make me their king or something like that," Vila added wistfully.

Avon spread his hands wide in triumph. "What more evidence of mental defect could you possibly need?"

 

EDIT: I wondered if I should put some kind of warning on this, but frankly, most people who might be triggered by the drabble already would've been as soon as they saw the title and fandom.

Title: Far from Home
Fandom: The X-Files


Agent Doggett dropped a file on Scully's desk. "Looks like some old friends of yours were picked up for a busted taillight violation in Arizona last night. The Phoenix office wants you to come out and-"

"Not going to happen." Scully had barely glanced at the file before crossing her arms and sitting back in her chair. "If someone has to go, send Reyes."

"We can't send Reyes. It wasn't her case," he countered. "Since Mulder's not around, you have to-"

Scully snapped, "Have you even read that file? I don't want to go anywhere near the Peacocks ever again!"

 

Title: Prima Facie
Fandom: Farscape


John stormed out into the corridor. "What the frell is that thing?" he shouted. A moment later, he rounded a turn and almost collided with D'Argo.

"What," asked D'Argo, "is what thing? Please tell me there isn't another 'thing' aboard Moya."

"Not that sort of thing," John assured him. "That sort." He pointed back to Aeryn, who was coming up behind him.

D'Argo said, "It's a beard, Crichton."

Aeryn shook her head. "I don't get why you're so upset. You've grown how many beards over the years?"

"But I'm a man! Also, that makes you look too much like Crais."

 

Title: Mr. Subtle
Fandom: Law & Order


"Officer Briscoe?"

Lennie turned at the sound of his name. A man in an expensive gray suit - Lennie guessed that the tie alone would cost him a month's pay - stood near Profaci's desk and addressed the room at large. "Is Officer Briscoe here? It's imperative that I speak to Officer Leonard Briscoe!" He looked about ready to step up onto a chair.

"My mother taught me never to talk to strangers!" Lennie shot back.

"I'm from the Mayor's office," said the man. "Is there someplace less conspicuous we could talk?"

Lennie shrugged. "In that suit? I wouldn't count on it."

 

You have Briscoe cold and spot-on. Woot!

 

That guy definitely sounds like he IS conspicuous

 

Thanks.

Title: Board Games
Fandom: Clue


The board members slowly shuffled across the dais and took their seats at the long table. Before any of them spoke, they shared an uneasy glance. This did not bode well. The chairman tentatively muttered some gibberish into his microphone and reared back as every nonsensical syllable was reflected back at him.

"Ah, yes, Professor," he said once he'd recovered. "We on the university's tenure committee have decided against granting you tenure this term."

The Professor sat silently, but several other people shouted, "Why?"

"Frankly, Professor Plum, it's about this unending string of murders that seems to follow you about!"

 

Thanks.

Title: Board Games
Fandom: Clue


The board members slowly shuffled across the dais and took their seats at the long table. Before any of them spoke, they shared an uneasy glance. This did not bode well. The chairman tentatively muttered some gibberish into his microphone and reared back as every nonsensical syllable was reflected back at him.

"Ah, yes, Professor," he said once he'd recovered. "We on the university's tenure committee have decided against granting you tenure this term."

The Professor sat silently, but several other people shouted, "Why?"

"Frankly, Professor Plum, it's about this unending string of murders that seems to follow you about!"

 

Very unique

 

Thanks.

Title: North Into Danger
Fandom: G.I. Joe / You Can't Do That on Television


Once the C-130 transport was aloft and headed northward, Flint briefed the team about its new mission. "We've identified a Cobra cell about thirty miles north of Toronto, and we're going to be working with a crack Canadian squad to bring it down."

"'A crack Canadian squad'?" asked Shipwreck dubiously.

"Two Mounties, both apparently named Doug. Also," Flint said, "if anyone asks you a question, always act like you know the answer."

Alpine wondered, "Is this about it being half the battle?"

"No, it's because if you ever admit you don't, green slime falls on you. It's some Canadian thing."

 

Title: Guy at the Gates
Fandom: SCTV


Guy Caballero wasn't sure if he'd just woken up or if he'd deliberately come here, wherever here was. A white haze that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere rose up around him.

A deep voice, as disembodied as the haze, called his name. "Welcome to Heaven."

Guy glanced around him. "Where's my wheelchair?"

"You will not need that here. Physical impairment does not exist," answered the voice.

He scoffed. "The chair was for respect!"

"In Heaven, you must earn that on your own merits, without cheap tricks."

* * *

"Anyway, long story short," finished Guy, "that's why I'm back on Earth."

 

Title: Hard Dive
Fandom: Batman


Batman leaped from the ledge and dove seventy stories straight down. Mere seconds from a certain, messy death, he fired his grappling hook into a neighboring building and swung out across the street. As the line brought him back around, he dropped to the ground right beside the thieves.

He leaned low and lashed out with his left foot, smacking it against the back of one criminal's head. The man pitched forward, unconscious. Batman then vaulted over the car, landing between it and the other two miscreants. Moments later, they were lying beside their partner. And then Batman was gone.