Story [Multi-Fandom] Salacious' Drabbles (12/31: "Supplemental Interpersonal Relations" (Community))

The Master has always been my favorite Doctor Who villain!

 

Thanks, both of you.


Title: Logical Causality
Fandom: Community
Originally Posted: 1 March, 2011


Jeff paused in the doorway and blinked several times. "Abed, are you hallucinating again?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You're purple," Jeff said.

"If you're the one seeing purple people," Abed asked, "shouldn't you be wondering if you're the one hallucinating?"

Jeff nodded. "You're right. This is definitely the last time I order cold medicine online." He turned around and left.

A moment later, Troy came in. "What's up with Jeff?" he wondered. "He's muttering to himself in the hallway."

Abed shrugged. "No idea."

"Anyway," Troy continued, "Shirley said this cold cream might get that purple gunk off you."

 

LOL! Hilarious!

 

I thank you.


Title: Puddle Glum (NEW)
Fandom: Torchwood
Spoilers: "Exit Wounds"


Life, Owen mused, was bloody unfair. Not that the term had applied to him for some time now, he added silently. He'd died weeks earlier, but it had only sort of stuck. He couldn't breathe or heal or shag, but he was still walking and talking and something resembling eating.

And then death seemed ready to strike again. He'd really expected the end. He was now a radioactive puddle. Surely one didn't get deader than that. So why was he still conscious? And how? His brain had melted with the rest of him, so what was doing his thinking now?

 

That was twisted, LOL! Right up Torchwood's alley.

I can't wait for Torchwood: Miracle Day!

 

Title: The Last Left
Fandom: The Muppet Show
Originally Posted: 1 March, 2011


Fozzie came down from his dressing room, but the backstage area was empty. "Kermit? Gonzo? Anybody?" He shrugged. "I'll have to introduce myself, I guess."

From the wings, he announced, "Here's that master of mirth, Fozzie Bear!" He rushed out onto the stage. "Waka waka waka! I... wonder where everyone went."

He looked up to Statler and Waldorf. "Guys, where's the audience?"

"They went to check out some noise in the basement," Statler said, "and never returned."

"All of them? Why didn't you two go?"

"Because we're not idiots!" Waldorf yelled. "Plus we forgot how to get down from here."

 

This definitely takes me back LOL

"Oh Kermie!"

 

Classic. LOL

 

Waka Waka Waka

I love the muppets.

"Plus we forgot how to get down from here."

I think Statler and Waldorf are fused to their chairs, they've been there so long.

 

Thanks, all of you. Here's another one based on the season opener, this time with real spoilers.


Title: Princess Interrupted (NEW)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Spoilers: "Day of the Moon"


Around the world, the attentions of hundreds of millions of people were aimed at their television sets. They watched, enraptured by the spectacle as the prince and his resplendent bride tied the knot.

Somewhere far from any human contact, three figures also watched, but not for the pageantry of the event. They simply waited for the perfect moment, when their desperate plan stood its best chance of success.

As the princess made her vows, the television signal was hijacked; a burst of static resolved into an image from humanity's collective nightmare appeared. "Please," the Silence begged, "please stop killing us."

 

Haha! The Doctor sure outsmarted them! Still worried about his death 200 years in the future. How is he going to survive?

 

Thanks. After this, there's one repost left, and then it's all the new stuff.


Title: The Impolite Dead
Fandom: Cluedo
Originally Posted: 1 March, 2011


The Reverend Green shook nervously, rattling his teacup. "Inspector, I, well, I daresay we all shot at poor Dr. Black there, and then Colonel Mustard had at him with a cavalry sabre."

"Is this true?" the inspector inquired.

"Of course!" ejaculated Mustard. "The man was a zombie!"

The inspector nodded sagely. "Yes, ah, but what we need to ascertain is how he became one, to wit, how he died originally."

Mustard said, "We didn't ask! When you see one of those bally things shuffling toward you, you don't engage it in conversation! You shoot! I learned that in the war!"

 

Good point!

 

Title: Out of More than Time (NEW)
Fandom: Torchwood
Spoilers: "Out of Time"


Diane wrestled with the plane's controls, struggling to keep it airborne in the storm. Green lightning flashed across her wing. Wherever she was, and whenever, this wasn't Cardiff.

After a tense hour, she managed to touch down on a desolate, scorched plain. If this was anywhere on Earth, she thought, something had gone very wrong.

She climbed out of the plane and walked toward two approaching figures; they clearly weren't human. Aliens? Maybe robots of some kind?

"Halt!" one yelled in a metallic screech. "Identify yourself!"

"Diane Holmes."

"Diane Holmes," the other repeated, "you are a prisoner of the Daleks!"

 

Title: Yogi's Secret
Fandom: Yogi Bear / Snagglepuss
Originally Posted: 1 March, 2011


"Boo-Boo," Cindy asked, "have you seen little ol' Yogi around anywhere?"

"Not since this morning. He said something about seeing Ranger Smith this afternoon."

Cindy shook her head. "The rangers are all at some training thing all day."

They went to the ranger's station; the truck was gone, but there was definitely movement inside the building. Cautiously, Boo-Boo opened the door, and both he and Cindy gasped in shock.

"What are you doing here?" Yogi yelled. "It's not what it looks like!"

"Then what is it?" Cindy demanded. "And who's that?"

The stranger said, "Exit, stage left, even!" and ran.

 

cute!

 

From here on out, everything is a new post.


Title: Downsizing the Staff
Fandom: Outsourced


The bodies were carefully placed in their chairs, propped up like they were still working. With luck, no one would even notice the stab wounds or blunt force traumas. Just to be on the safe side, though, Todd now wore one of those hats with the beer cans on it.

Gupta noticed Madhuri watching him from the hallway. "Come in!" he yelled. "You're late for work!"

"You killed the entire office?" she gasped. "Are you going to kill me too?"

Gupta laughed nervously. "No! They're all fine! Nobody's dead!" The top of Rajiv's head fell off. "Okay, maybe he's dead."

 

Title: Like a River
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Fifth


The Doctor stared out across the Thames. "Time, as they say, is like a river."

"What, time's dirty, polluted, and disgusting?" Turlough asked, wincing at something dead floating past.

"No," the Doctor said, "it's a metaphor. Well, a simile. It just means that time is always flowing, always changing. You can never step in the same river twice, and-"

"I wouldn't want to step in that river even once," Turlough interrupted. "I might catch something."

"Turlough, what happened to your sense of wonder?" He looked imploringly to Tegan.

"Hey, I'm with Turlough on this one," she said. "That river's revolting."

 

Liked the time discussion and the obvious conclusion based on the literal Thames LOL

 

That's what happens when someone as deep as the Doctor converse with others who are not so much.

 

Title: Paying His Respects
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Tenth


The Doctor squatted before the gravestone and closed his eyes. Rose tried to read over his shoulder, but she didn't recognize the name carved into it. After a silent moment, the Doctor opened his eyes, set a small stone on the grave marker, and stood. He took Rose's hand and guided her away.

"Was he an old friend?" she asked.

"Who, him? Yes," he said. "Well, no, not as such. I never met him, myself, but I always felt like we would've been good friends."

"Who was he, anyway?"

The Doctor leaned over and whispered the answer in her ear.

 

Nice Who/Rose moment.

 

Thanks.


Title: Double Bluff
Fandom: Law & Order


Lupo leaned across the table. "Listen, Anton. My partner's talking to your pal Marco down the hall, and there's only one deal available. First one to take it wins."

"You found Marco?" the kid asked.

"That's right."

Anton grinned. "Fine. Let him take it. I ain't talkin'."

There was a knock at the door, and Lupo stepped out into the hallway. "Yeah, Lieut?"

"We found Marco Reyes," Lieutenant Van Buren said. "He was killed by a drunk driver last January."

Lupo glanced back into the interrogation room. Anton yelled, "Hey, warn your partner, Marco might want to eat his brains!"

 

Title: Hands Off
Fandom: House / X-Men


"He's with a patient!" the nurse yelled. "You can't go in there!"

House ignored her and pushed his way into the examining room. "Chase, I need you to look at..." He paused in the doorway when he noticed the topless woman sitting on the table. It was only when he stopped staring that he saw Chase on the floor, barely breathing.

House closed the door. "Let me guess. He got so handsy that you just had to knee him?"

"It's not my fault, I swear," she said in a thick Southern drawl. "I told him he needed to use gloves."

 

Poor Chase!