Story [Multi-Fandom] Salacious' Drabbles (12/31: "Supplemental Interpersonal Relations" (Community))

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by Salacious_Drabb, Jan 25, 2010.

Moderators: Mira_Jade, NYCitygurl
  1. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: The Oncoming Terror
    Fandom: World of Warcraft
    Originally Posted: 22 October, 2010


    Deep under Azeroth, forgotten for millennia, something stirred.

    * * *

    "How much is this one?" the orc wondered.

    "For you," Lizzarik said, "I could shave a few silver off. And I'll offer you a good trade on that sword you're carrying there."

    "Well, I..." The orc paused as the ground rumbled.

    Jorb panicked, but Lizzarik just waited for the quake to subside. And waited. In the distance, the land split open, and a single hand emerged.

    "It's Deathwing!" the orc screamed.

    "Again?" Lizzarik muttered. "Wait, no, it's just a giant murloc." The distant figure staggered away. "So, buddy, want to buy this?"

  2. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Starting the Day Right
    Fandom: Reaper
    Originally Posted: 24 October, 2010


    "Morning, Sam," Sock said. He sipped at a coffee mug and scratched himself with his other hand.

    "Why are you naked?" Sam asked.

    "The human body is a beautiful thing."

    "But the store opens in fifteen minutes," Sam said.

    "Yeah, I don't think I'm coming in today."

    "You are in," Sam told him. "This is the Work Bench."

    Sock's eyes widened as he looked around. "How did I get here? And where did I get this?" He sniffed at the mug. "That ain't coffee. Sam, does this smell more like an 'induce vomiting' poison, or a 'don't induce vomiting' poison?"

  3. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: The New Exhibit
    Fandom: Ghostbusters
    Originally Posted: 24 October, 2010


    The curator met Egon and Peter in the museum's atrium. "Thank you for coming. I wasn't certain I should call, but after the Natural History Museum last spring..."

    "We've been doing lots of these precautionary scans," Peter assured him.

    "However," Egon warned, "some spectral phenomena won't register while dormant."

    "Still wiser to call us, though," Peter added quickly. "Say, you didn't mention what this new exhibit is."

    "Victorian erotica, photographs mostly."

    "Really?" Peter asked, grinning.

    "Peter," Egon said, "any women depicted would be roughly the same age as your great grandmother."

    Peter shuddered. "Egon, remind me again why we're friends."
  4. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Into the Sewer
    Fandom: Watchmen / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
    Originally Posted: 1 November, 2010


    Rorschach's Journal. May 1, 1985:

    This city is a sewer, drowning in filth. Should've seen this coming. When city's a sewer, how does the real sewer compete? It gets weird.


    Rorschach watched the four figures descend from the rooftops to the alleyway, then down a manhole. Whatever they are, he thought, they don't move like men. He followed them down.

    Fifteen minutes later, he staggered back up and lay panting in the alley.

    In the end, I decided to let them live. Going soft? Hope not. There's a secret, never told anybody.

    He laughed, coughing up blood.

    I like turtles.
  5. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Rani and the Time
    Fandom: Doctor Who / The Sarah Jane Adventures
    Setting: During SJA: "The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith"
    Originally Posted: 1 November, 2010


    The Doctor ran up the stairs, Clyde and Rani close at his heels. Without warning, he spun around. "Rani! You know, I knew a Rani once."

    "Was he a Slitheen?" Clyde asked.

    "Slitheen? No! No! She was a Time Lord, like me! Well, Time Lady."

    Rani smiled proudly.

    "Nasty piece of work, she was, too," the Doctor added. Clyde laughed, while Rani scowled.

    The Doctor put his hands on her shoulders. "You don't have an antique pocket watch, do you? Gold case? Elaborately etched?"

    "No," she stammered.

    "Good!" He spun around and continued running.

    "But my mum does," she whispered.
  6. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Confronting Evil
    Fandom: Doctor Who / World of Warcraft
    Doctor: Ninth
    Originally Posted: 1 November, 2010


    "I was there at the end of the Time War!" the Doctor yelled, flecks of spittle flying from the corners of his mouth. "I saw this universe torn inside out! Planets laid waste! Realities cut off before they were ever born! What makes you think I'm intimidated by yet another buried evil from the dawn of time like you, huh?"

    "Doctor," one of the orcs said, "C'Thun is dead. We've killed him. Why do you yell at him now?"

    "He's an evil from the dawn of time. You won't catch me talking to one like that while he's still alive."

  7. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Red in the Face
    Fandom: The Mentalist / Doctor Who
    Originally Posted: 1 November, 2010


    "Ah, Patrick Jane! Must dash!"

    "I've been watching you," Jane said. "You intrigue me."

    "Really? Then psychoanalyze as we run."

    Jane shrugged and followed. "You care for people, almost too much, but it's like you're holding them close and pushing them away at the same time."

    "You're good."

    "Thanks. It's not the disdain of others in your profession. I'm guessing a past tragedy, something that made you feel apart from the rest of humanity."

    "All correct except two things. First, I'm not that kind of doctor. Second," the Doctor said, turning to face Jane, "why do you assume I'm human?"

  8. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Seafood Surprise
    Fandom: Sliders
    Originally Posted: 1 November, 2010


    As the group staggered to their feet, Wade asked Quinn, "How long before the next slide?"

    "About ninety minutes."

    "Then I suggest we spend the time getting something to eat," Professor Arturo said. "I for one am starving."

    Rembrandt pointed across the street. "How about seafood?"

    * * *

    While the others studied their menus, Rembrandt declared, "I already know what I want. This place makes the best shrimp cocktail."

    "I don't see that listed," Quinn said.

    "Me either," Wade added.

    Rembrandt searched the menu frantically, then called to a waiter. "Excuse me, when did you stop serving shrimp?"

    "Stop serving what, sir?"
  9. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Train Time
    Fandom: Doctor Who
    Doctor: Tenth
    Originally Posted: 1 November, 2010


    The Doctor sat silently as yet another subway train came and went. Rose had given up asking him four trains ago if this was the one he wanted. Instead, she wandered along the platform, reading adverts; most were for things she'd never heard of, either because she was a few years from her own time or because she was on the other side of the Atlantic.

    Another train arrived. The Doctor leaped to his feet, yelled, "Come on, Rose!" and jumped inside.

    She barely made it aboard. "Why this train?" she panted.

    He grinned. "Mustn't be too early, must we?"
  10. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: The Inescapable Trap
    Fandom: Saw / MacGyver
    Originally Posted: 1 November, 2010


    With a burst of static, the television monitor on the cart came on. The screen showed a hideous puppet with a white face and red swirls on its cheeks. "Hello, Angus," it said in a deep, raspy voice. "For far too long, you have sought to interfere in-"

    The puppet was tossed aside, and a pale, hooded man stared out instead. "He's not there!" he yelled.

    "What?" a woman's voice asked.

    "He's not there. The trap's empty."

    "That's impossible," she insisted. "I secured it myself."

    "He can't have gone far, Amanda," the man said. "Go find Mr. MacGyver at once!"
  11. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: And Laid Him on the Green
    Fandom: Castle
    Originally Posted: 2 November, 2010


    "So then he said something about Monty Green and keeled over," the witness said, smacking her gum as she talked.

    Beckett asked, "Who's Monty Green?"

    Castle shrugged. "Wait, I know!" he yelled suddenly. "Was it 'Monty Green' or 'mondegreen'?"

    "That might've been it, maybe."

    Beckett turned to him. "What's mondegreen?"

    "It's a misheard song lyric," Castle explained, "like, 'There's a bathroom on the right,' or 'Excuse me while I kiss this guy!'"

    "Why say that before dying?" Beckett wondered.

    "Maybe he misheard something juicy."

    Esposito came over. "We're trying to contact the building owner, a Monty Green."

    "Spoilsport," Castle said.
  12. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Falling with Style
    Fandom: Doctor Who
    Doctor: Eleventh
    Originally Posted: 2 November, 2010


    Amy and the Doctor peered down into the hole. The bottom was barely visible fifteen metres below. "I'll go get a rope," Amy said.

    "Good idea," the Doctor agreed. "I'll meet you down there."

    "You what? You can't climb down those sides."

    The Doctor laughed. "That would be madness. I'll jump."

    "Jump," Amy repeated.

    "I have great reflexes," he said, "like a cat. Better, even." To prove his point, he jumped into the hole. "Geronimo!" He dropped gracefully and made a perfect landing... on his face.

    "You're right," Amy said. "Cats would've used their paws. The face is much classier."
  13. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    In a way, I guess this has sorta been Jossed this week, but oh well.



    Title: The Unkindest Cut
    Fandom: How I Met Your Mother / Doogie Howser, MD
    Originally Posted: 10 November, 2010


    "Give it to me straight, doc," Barney said. "How are the boys?"

    "They're fine; the knife just nicked your scrotum. You needed a couple stitches, though, so you'll have to abstain from sex for two weeks."

    Barney rolled his eyes. "Shyeah, I'll get right on that."

    "Anyway, you're free to go as soon as someone comes to pick you up."

    "All taken care of. Ranjit!"

    Ranjit staggered in the doorway. "This is astounding. You two look like you could be brothers."

    "I don't think so," Barney scoffed. "Dr. Howser doesn't look anything like my brother." He whispered, "James is black."
  14. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    And Laid Him on the Green - Spoilsport... Castle is such a child sometimes. :D

    Falling with Style - Amy's last line is pure class. :cool:

    The Unkindest Cut - Oh, Barney. [face_laugh] I could see this actually happening. :p

    Really great drabble series: loving the multifandom of it all [face_peace] .
  15. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Thank you, so much.


    Title: The Bouncing Ball
    Fandom: Doctor Who
    Originally Posted: 10 November, 2010


    Left. Right. Left. Right. Forty thousand eyes stared at the tiny white sphere as it bounced back and forth and back and forth. Except for the two men competing, nobody dared breathe; the only sound was the echoing rhythm as the ball hit paddle and table and paddle and table and...

    "Very good," a voice whispered. "You're all coming under my control." Louder, he added, "I am the Master, and you will obey me!"

    The outburst distracted one of the players, and the ball bounced past him. Broken from their trance, the audience groaned in unison.

    "No!" the Master screamed.

  16. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    Hmm. [face_thinking] Quizzical. I like it. :)
  17. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Thanks.

    Title: Gingers on a Train
    Fandom: Andy Barker, P.I.
    Originally Posted: 10 November, 2010


    "This shouldn't be too hard," Andy said. "Before she died, Margot screamed, 'Ginger.' How many women named Ginger could there be on this train?"

    "Don't pat yourself on the back just yet," Lew snapped. "Ginger's another word for a redhead."

    "My wife's a redhead!"

    "And she's on this train," Simon added.

    "Relax," Lew said. "It doesn't count if it comes out of a bottle. Now let's see what we're dealing with."

    They peered through into the dining car and counted. "Seven?" Andy moaned.

    "Plus however many might be getting room service," Simon said.

    Lew glared at him. "Shut up, Nancy."
  18. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh] Ginger...

    You know, that just made me think of Doctor Who. :p
  19. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: The Proboocers
    Fandom: Animaniacs / The Producers
    Originally Posted: 10 November, 2010


    Leo shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Are you sure about this?" Leo asked.

    "Absolutely," Max whispered. "Roger De Boo is the worst hack directing today. Remember that all-child revival of 'Titus Andronicus'?"

    "That was him?"

    "Yes, now hush, and don't mention the feathers." Max stood as Roger swept into the room, his gown swirling about him.

    "That's a lovely, uh, dress you have," Max said.

    "I'm more concerned about the beak," Leo hissed in his ear. "This guy's a chicken, Max! A giant chicken!"

    Max elbowed him, hard. "Quiet!"

    Roger tilted his head. "Bawgawk?"

    Max smiled. "He likes you, Leo."
  20. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: This Side Up
    Fandom: The Sarah Jane Adventures
    Originally Posted: 10 November, 2010


    Sarah Jane gasped. "Luke! Clyde! What are you doing?"

    Luke gasped right back. "Mum?"

    "What are you two doing on the ceiling?" she demanded. "How did you get up there?"

    Luke looked at Clyde, who shrugged. "I don't-"

    "No, no, I don't want to know," she said. "Just come down here at once, and we can discuss it like rational people."

    "Mum," Luke said calmly, "we're not upside-down. You are."

    "Don't be absurd. Of course I'm not..." Sarah Jane looked around the room, realizing that she was, indeed, standing on the ceiling. "Ah. That would explain why I feel flushed."
  21. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh] I'm standing on the ceiling...

    Wonder how that happened. [face_thinking] :D
  22. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Idrelle, sometimes, these things just happen.


    Title: The Ultimate Dilemma
    Fandom: Doctor Who
    Doctor: Seventh
    Originally Posted: 10 November, 2010


    "Ultimate power, Doctor! That is what I shall have!" Up on his dais, Xynthus was almost vibrating with anticipation. "Ultimate power over the universe!"

    The Doctor leaned forward in his chair, tried to tap his chin with his finger, but the ropes wouldn't budge enough. "So what?" he asked.

    "So what?" Xynthus repeated. "So WHAT?"

    "You'll never use it, will you?"

    "I might," Xynthus hedged.

    "That's the problem with ultimate power," the Doctor explained. "You don't dare exercise it. Ultimate power really is ultimate; it's final. Use it, and no more universe, no more power."

    Xynthus scowled. "I hate you."
  23. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Somewhere in America
    Fandom: Better Off Ted
    Originally Posted: 17 November, 2010


    Ted inhaled deeply. "Smell that fresh country air. It really takes me back."

    "You grew up in the country?" Veronica asked.

    "No," he said, "but I visited once as a kid. I'll never forget the smell."

    Veronica looked down. "Cow dung."

    "Is that what that is?"

    "Yes," she said, "and you're standing in it." As he wiped his shoes on a fence, she continued, "Just think, we're hundreds of miles from a decent kosher deli."

    "When was the last time you set foot in a kosher deli?" Ted asked.

    "Not as recently as you set foot in manure, I'll admit."
  24. Salacious_Drabb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2007
    star 3
    Title: Team Players
    Fandom: Harry Potter
    Originally Posted: 17 November, 2010


    Bartleby dropped and rolled away as the Bludger flew through the spot where his head had been. He looked back in the direction it had come from. "Oi, Stoatbreath, we're supposed to be on the same team here!"

    Stanley shrugged with poorly feigned innocence. "Sorry, didn't see ya there."

    Margo flew up alongside him. "Could you refrain from decapitating our Seeker while we're a hundred points down?" she groused.

    * * *

    As the credits of Quidditch Wives rolled, Harry asked, "Now does Bartleby know she's sleeping with Stanley too?"

    "Nah," Ginny said, "but he knows about her and Evangeline, while Stanley doesn't."
  25. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
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