Story [Multi-Fandom] The Count's Drabbles (12/30: "Ancillary Intervention Services" (Community))

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by Count_Drabbu, Jan 1, 2012.

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  1. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2

    Title: Come Home to Roast
    Fandom: Star Trek: SCE


    Captain Gold listened as Bart Faulwell and Fabian Stevens outlined their plan. "We were hoping," Stevens concluded, "that you'd be willing to join in and take a few potshots at the birthday girl."

    "I would be honored to help roast Sonya," he said. "Who else will be taking part?"

    They listed various crewmembers, plus other friends of Commander Gomez who'd be participating via subspace. Bart explained, "Even Blue and Soloman will speak, though they aren't sure they understand the concept."

    "And Commander Tev?"

    Stevens immediately answered, "On duty and unable to attend."

    The captain nodded. "I suspected he would be."

  2. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Rash Decisions
    Fandom: Firefly


    Wash shrugged off Zoe's embrace. "I love you," he said, "but please don't touch me."

    "What's brought this on?" she asked.

    He lifted his shirt, showing a red, bumpy rash. "It matches pretty closely with everywhere we touched recently."

    "But last night, we-"

    "Yes and yes."

    She winced. "Have you talked to the doc yet?"

    "No. I don't think I could take finding out I'm allergic to my wife."

    "Not much chance of that," Mal said as he entered behind them.

    "How do you know?" Wash asked.

    "Because," Mal answered, scratching at his blotchy, inflamed face, "I ain't touched her."

  3. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    I forgot to mention that yesterday's drabble was inspired by "Please Don't Touch Me" from the Young Frankenstein soundtrack. Meanwhile, today's was inspired by "Cog in the Machine" from the World of Goo soundtrack.


    Title: Every Cog Has Its Day
    Fandom: Get Smart


    "For most people, free will is an illusion," the Professor pontificated. "Every move they make is predetermined by the force of Time itself. But for a select few, such as myself, it is possible to take control of the machinery of fate!"

    Max stopped straining against his bonds. "Ah, but what if that is itself an illusion? You think you're manipulating Time, but maybe it's Time that's manipulating you into thinking you're manipulating it!" He turned to 99, tied up beside him. "That was right, wasn't it?"

    "Yes, Max."

    "Stop!" the Professor yelled. "All this thinking gives me a headache!"

  4. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    "No. I don't think I could take finding out I'm allergic to my wife."

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
  5. Mira_Jade The NSWFF Manager With The Cape

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2004
    star 4
    Your Get Smart drabble was priceless! =D=

    But this:

    "Not much chance of that," Mal said as he entered behind them.

    "How do you know?" Wash asked.

    "Because," Mal answered, scratching at his blotchy, inflamed face, "I ain't touched her."


    [face_laugh][face_laugh]

    Yeah, I choked on my coffee at that. In the good way. :p You do such an amazing job with the Firefly characters - I wish dozens upon dozens more of them from your muse. [face_batting] ;)


    ~MJ @};-
  6. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Thanks, both of you.


    Title: Coverage That Regenerates With You
    Fandom: Doctor Who


    "Thank you for calling Gallifrey Mutual. How may we help you?"

    "Do you know," Belraz screamed, his voice cracking, "how long I've been holding? Were you trying to induce yet another regeneration?"

    "Query not understood. How may we help you?" the voice repeated.

    Belraz stopped pacing and took a deep breath. "I'm trying to find out why I haven't been reimbursed under the terms of my regeneration insurance."

    "Of course, madam," the voice said. "Please hold one moment."

    "Hold? Don't you-" Belraz ranted and raved for almost three minutes before he noticed he wasn't on hold but had been disconnected.

  7. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    IT might be an advanced, sci-fi universe, but some things are the same everywhere :p
  8. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Assignment Awesome
    Fandom: Person of Interest /How I Met Your Mother


    John carefully set the unconscious woman down on a park bench and dismantled her sniper rifle. "Finch, I'm done here," he said, tapping his earpiece.

    "I wouldn't celebrate just yet, Mr. Reese. The spurned lover may be a coincidental attack."

    "You found someone else who's trying to kill our guy?" John asked.

    "Not exactly," Finch admitted, "but I'm having trouble finding anyone who wouldn't want to. The list of former one night stands alone who've attempted to murder Mr. Stinson is long enough that I don't believe one more would be enough for the machine to give us his number."

  9. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Advanced Personal Hygiene
    Fandom: Community


    As the others came into the study room, Pierce grinned. "Has anyone seen Jeff this morning?"

    "What did you do?" Britta asked.

    "Not a thing. Why?"

    Jeff came in then, a black fedora pulled low, and Pierce burst into hysterical laughter.

    "Uh, nice hat," Shirley said. "I didn't know you were a hat person."

    "I'm not anymore," he explained, taking it off and setting it on the table.

    "What?" Pierce screamed. "Your hair looks normal! It's supposed to be green!"

    Jeff smiled. "Luckily, I had my backup shampoo. Oh, and someone owes me sixty dollars for the bottle he spiked."

  10. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: The Dreamer and the Dream
    Fandom: Farscape


    "I've got good news and great news for you, John," Harvey said as he stepped around the smoldering, quivering remains of something like a fish with an eyepatch. "The good news is that this is just a regular old nightmare, albeit one enhanced by slightly expired sausages."

    "Slightly expired?"

    Harvey ignored the sarcasm. "Just so. The even better news is that, since it's just a dream, you'll forget most of this within moments of waking up. Now if only I could do likewise, starting with forgetting the sight of Ka D'Argo in that bikini."

    "He had the figure for it."
  11. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: The Crossroads Curse
    Fandom: Psych


    Henry glared at the two boys standing before him. "Let me see if I got this straight. You met an old woman at a crossroads."

    "As one does," Shawn said.

    "And," Henry continued, "she threatened to put a curse on you, so you dropped the groceries and ran away screaming."

    Shawn shrugged. "I wouldn't say ran."

    "More of a strategic retreat," Gus amended.

    Henry said, "Shawn, go to your room. Gus, go-" The doorbell rang, and Henry left the room. "Hey there, Mrs. Snodgrass!" A moment later, he returned, carrying two bags. "You two are off the hook. This time."

  12. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Where?s a Cop When You Need One?
    Fandom: The Monkees


    "How do we find a cop clear out here?" Peter asked.

    "There!" Davy shouted, pointing toward a small blue structure. "An English police box!"

    "Great! How do we use it?"

    "I don't know. Try knocking on the door," Davy said.

    Peter knocked, and the door opened inward. He stepped through, calling out, "Hello?" A moment later, he poked his head back out. "Davy, get in here!"

    Davy followed him into the box and found himself in a large, brightly lit police station. "Can I help you boys?" the desk sergeant asked.

    Davy shrugged. "I don't know what I was expecting."

  13. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: The Mother of All Ghosts
    Fandom: Ghostbusters


    "I can't do it, Egon!" Peter yelled. "I just can't!"

    "Listen to me, Peter. No matter what you think you see or hear, it's all an illusion!"

    Peter asked, "How can you be sure that isn't really my mother?"

    "Two reasons," Egon explained. "First, your mother is still living in Florida. You visited her just last month."

    Peter grinned. "Oh yeah. What's the second reason?"

    "I don't see your mother. I see my own."

    Together, they opened fire and captured the ghost. "So quick to bust your own mother, Egon?" Peter teased. "That's cold."

    "Please never tell her of this."
  14. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Time to Kill
    Fandom: Red Dwarf


    Kryten listened carefully to Lister's tale. "So you're from our future?"

    "Yeah, man! Four hours - make that three and a half - from now, I saw, or will see, whatever, you and the others die," Lister repeated.

    "And you used the Time Drive to come back and prevent that from happening?"

    Lister nodded. "Right."

    "I see," Kryten said. "You wait here, where your other self won't see you, and I'll be right back."

    * * *

    "Mr. Rimmer, sir?"

    "Yes, Kryten, what now?" Rimmer moaned.

    "You know that prank we're pulling on Mr. Lister, faking our own deaths? I have a wonderful new idea."

  15. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Hanging Around
    Fandom: James Bond


    Bond's chest and legs ached from slamming into the wall, and the strain on his arms and fingertips was enormous, but he was alive. He risked a glance down; the ground was still many meters below. The indentation his fingers had found, the one that had saved his life, was small, just one worn brick. He examined the wall around him but couldn't see any other potential hand or footholds. If the cavalry's going to save the day, he thought, now would be a good time.

    Just then, a familiar voice somewhere above yelled, "Just hanging around are you, 007?"

  16. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: An Old Flame
    Fandom: Psych


    Gus looked up from his work when he heard the woman in the outer office calling out, "Hello? Shawn Spencer?" Across the room, Shawn ducked underneath his desk.

    "What are you doing?" Gus hissed, but Shawn didn't have time to answer before the woman entered the room. Gus stood up and said, "He just stepped out, I'm afraid. May I be of any assistance?"

    She held out her hand. "I'm Gabi. Shawn and I dated seven years ago. Well, seven years and four months."

    "That's, uh, very precise," Gus said.

    "Emmie was born six years and seven months ago, so..."

  17. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    The drabble I posted yesterday was for Star Wars, so I had to post it elsewhere.



    Title: Larabee's Odd Day
    Fandom: Get Smart / Quantum Leap


    "Chief," Max asked, "have you noticed anything odd about Larabee today? I just saw him in the hallway talking to someone, but there wasn't anyone there."

    "Now that you mention it, there was something during the morning briefing. He seemed a lot brighter than usual."

    Max gasped. "Larabee?"

    "Do you think he might've been compromised?" The Chief activated his intercom. "Larabee, could you come in here?"

    Seconds later, Larabee entered. "You wanted to see me, Chief?"

    "Have you been feeling all right today?"

    "I'm not sure," he admitted. "I kinda remember everything that happened, but it's fuzzy. And who's Al?"

  18. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: The Rags Trade
    Fandom: Action
    Rating: PG


    Jenny barely got her hands out of the way as Peter dropped his open laptop onto hers. "Did you see what the gossip sites are saying about me?" he asked, pointing to the relevant item.

    She read through it. "Why would you think that's about you?"

    "It's obviously about me!" Peter insisted.

    She glared at him. "You planted this yourself."

    "Of course not!" he lied.

    Jenny read through it again. "Peter, in what way is your *BLEEP* 'hulklike'?" she asked. "Because it's green or because it only gets big when you're angry?"

    "Hey, that green thing cleared up months ago!"

  19. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    It's baaaack! After all these months, the boards are back, and I have loads of drabbles written in the interval ready to post.


    Title: The Fate of Collinwood
    Fandom: Dark Shadows


    Julia turned to Quentin and shrugged. "It's definitely the future," she said, taking in the hallway's decor, "but I don't have the faintest clue how far."

    They heard a door open, and a small man in a suit came around a corner and approached them while holding a strange device up to his ear. "Carrie, I gotta call you back. A couple's shown up to look at a unit." He pocketed the phone and smiled. "Sorry about that. Welcome to Collinwood Condominiums," he said, shaking their hands. "Have you had a chance to download and look over our app yet?"
  20. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Nonnative Fauna
    Fandom: Doctor Who


    The old woman stood at the railing of the lido deck and pointed back toward the shore. "Bernie!" she yelled. "Bernie! You got to see this!"

    Her husband didn't bother rising from his deck chair. "What is it now, Vera?"

    "There's a penguin!"

    "Don't be stupid," he moaned. "This is the Arctic Circle. Penguins only live in the Antarctic."

    "Really, smart guy? What's that, then?" she asked. "Out there next to that blue box?"

    Grumbling, he joined her at the rail. "Yeah, that's a penguin."

    * * *

    Frobisher stared out at the ship. "Doc, you ever get the feeling you're being watched?"
  21. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: The Donna's Theme
    Fandom: Get Smart


    A bell startled Don Francisco. "Ah, that'll be my sister about to come down." He slowly rose and shuffled across the room.

    "Does she always warn you first?" asked 99.

    The Don began cranking an ancient Victrola. "Oh yes. She likes to have her theme song playing whenever she enters a room. It's just one of her things."

    Finally, 99 thought as somber music began to play, she'd get to meet KAOS's elusive Donna Francesca.

    The door flew open; a large woman flounced through, and 99 was shocked that she looked just like...

    "Chief?" she gasped.

    "What was that, dear?"
  22. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Barnabus would HATE that. I bet I know his next meal ...
  23. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Wanderer
    Fandom: Law & Order: SVU / Doctor Who
    Doctor: Eleventh



    "What kind of a sicko are you?" Stabler demanded. "You get your jollies mesmerizing young girls and spiriting them away from their families?"

    The suspect just smirked. "You make it sound as if we're discussing children. You must be a father. How old are your daughters now? Late teens?"

    Stabler shoved the table aside and grabbed him by his suspenders. "Is that a threat, Doctor?"

    * * *

    On the other side of the glass, Benson read through the file and frowned. "This can't be right. Munch, this Doctor's, what, thirty?"

    "Give or take."

    She said, "These cases go back to the sixties!"
  24. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Total Victory
    Fandom: Firefly


    Jayne was whistling as he bounded up the ramp into Serenity. "I take it you did well at your little poker tournament?" Kaylee asked.

    "Nah," he admitted, "got knocked out on the first day."

    "Then why so chipper?"

    "Won a bundle betting on the winner," he explained.

    "Really?" she wondered. "Anyone I'd know?"

    "Nope."

    * * *

    "I'd be mighty appreciative," Shepherd Book said, "if the others didn't find out I was participating in this here tournament."

    Jayne asked, "What's it worth to you?"

    "Ten percent of whatever I win," Book offered.

    "That's ten percent before you give most away to charity, right?"
  25. Count_Drabbu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2007
    star 2
    Title: Tales from Outer Space
    Fandom: 30 Rock / Fraggle Rock


    "Why must you always stifle my dreams, Liz Lemon?" Tracy screamed. "I want to travel to outer space with my friend Matt!"

    "I've been talking to your friend Matt," Liz said, "and you know what? He doesn't want to go to outer space; he thinks all this is outer space, and we're all some weird aliens. The guy's nutso, Tracy. Like you levels of crazy."

    * * *

    Tracy found Matt in his dressing room, writing a postcard. "Sorry, Liz Lemon says I can't go with you. She thinks you're insane."

    "I understand. Would you mind signing this? It's for my nephew Gobo."
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