Here are my drabbles for UDC 7. Like last time, I will be writing each week's set in a different fandom: Week 1: The Simpsons Week 2: Star Trek: The Next Generation Week 3: Arrested Development Week 4: Torchwood Week 5: Seinfeld Week 6: Jurassic Park Week 7: The Avengers (UK) Week 8: 30 Rock Week 9: Sherlock Holmes Week 10: Law & Order Week 11: Dark Shadows Week 12: Eureka Week 13: The Pretender Week 14: Castle Week 15: Maverick Week 16: Red Dwarf Week 17: Darkwing Duck * * * * * * * * * * Title: Infant Infiltration Fandom: The Simpsons Rating: G Notes: The challenge theme was "Baby." Maggie stopped sucking on the suction cup end of the dart and put her pacifier back in her mouth before slotting the dart into the gun. She only had this one left; if she didn't get Gerald with her first shot, she'd be toast. She peered around the corner into the living room; three of the octuplets were standing guard. She was planning her strategy when she heard footsteps. The gun was hidden by the time her mother scooped her up. "Maggie! Why aren't you in with the other babies?" Maggie grinned as she was carried right into Gerald's stronghold. * * * * * * * * * * Title: Kook in the Kitchen Fandom: The Simpsons Rating: G Notes: The challenge theme was "Child." Kent Brockman took one glance at the sign bolted to the front of the tiny kitchen set and shook his head. "Forget it," he said. "There's no way I'm doing the segment with that there." "What's wrong with the sign?" his producer asked. Kent launched into a tirade about both the implied insanity of the "Kooking with Kent" spelling and the obvious way the letters "rusty" had been inexpertly whited out before "ent" had been painted over them. "Yeah, well, we can't remove it," the producer explained. "It's covering up the sign for the infomercial that usually uses this set." * * * * * * * * * * Title: Visiting the Vegans Fandom: The Simpsons Rating: G Notes: The challenge theme was "Teenager." As soon as Marge and Lisa entered the vegan diner, the teenager behind the counter called out, "Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the restaurant." Marge turned to Lisa. "What am I doing wrong now? I left all my leather at home like you told me." Lisa shrugged. "It's your necklace," the teenager answered, his voice squeaking. "Pearls are an animal product." "Mom," Lisa hissed, "just explain that they're not real pearls, and he'll let you in." Marge looked down at her daughter. "Honey, I'll be over at the Krusty Burger with Bart and your father." * * * * * * * * * * Title: Edna or Emmanuelle Fandom: The Simpsons Rating: PG Notes: The challenge theme was "Adult." "How can we allow this purveyor of filth, this foul temptress to bewitch our innocent children?" Helen Lovejoy wailed. Around her, other parents and concerned citizens muttered in agreement. "Principal Skinner, we insist that you fire this pornographic starlet at once!" Edna barked a laugh. "Foul temptress? Porn starlet? I wish! The only one purveying anything here is you, lady. Besides, like we already told you, those movies weren't porn; all European films were like that in the seventies." "We can see your areolas!" Helen screamed. "Honey, Edna said, "my areolas haven't looked like that in more than twenty years." * * * * * * * * * * Title: Gristly Old Men Fandom: The Simpsons Rating: G Notes: The challenge theme was "Elderly." Abe glanced over at Jasper. If they didn't escape soon, starvation was certain. For one of them, anyway. Not for the first time, Abe pondered what it'd be like to eat his friend's corpse. He imagined that Jasper would be stringy and leathery, just like the meat Abe remembered from childhood. He realized he was staring when he noticed Jasper staring back. Abe moaned, "You're thinking about eating me after I die!" "Who says I was gonna wait?" The closet door opened, and the nurse glared in at them. "Have you two been in here the whole last ten minutes?"