My Consolation- Update Oct. 20th! "On to Geruk'ar"

i think it's jag- haunted her for the past 6 months???- Jag! hopefully that will come to be soon!

 

Sweet story and sad too, keep it up

~aeryn

 

For several weeks I had let Davin sleep in my arms, we both got little rest. My family always popped in to see us. Jacen came by one day as he always did. I had tried to get myself together, but I knew he caught onto my feelings. As a distraction, I would pass Davin over to Jacen, so maybe he wouldn't ask what was going on. But eventually he voiced his concern.
"I know you aren't as happy as you are playing off, and I know you miss Jag, but..."
I held up my hand to silence him, turned away, signaling that I wasn't ready to go there, not yet.
"You can't run away from it, Jaina. It'll keep eating at you from inside until you break." He pushed, not caring if I wanted to talk about it or not.
I turned back to him, he still had my son in his arms. My throat constricted, and tears stung my eyes, but I wasn't about to let them fall.
"I'm just feeling a little post-pardom, I'll be fine soon. Maybe if I get involved with the war again...I wouldn't feel so useless, and..."
"It's not that and I know it." he said, bouncing a gurgling baby. "Being away from action is hard for you, I know, but this goes deeper, doesn't it?"
I ignored his comment. "My maternity leave ends in a few weeks, I'll be able to get back and..."
"And get yourself killed, leaving your son without either of his parents! Is that what you really want? Come on, Jaina, you aren't that selfish."
Boy, did he know how to shut me up. For a long moment, we just stared at one another. Davin broke the long, uncomfortable silence with a small wail. This kid needs to stop picking up on my feelings!
Jacen smiled down at him, making faces, and walking him back to his crib. After he had laid Davin down, he turned back to me.
"He feels alot of what you are feeling. Probably because you are the only parent he has felt and the bond between you two is all he knows."
"Maybe." I said quietly.
"Maybe? Jag's gone Jaina, how would Davin know his presence? Unless you've found another father for him, and that's the presence he knows."
"No, it's nothing like that." I said quickly- "But maybe Jag's presence has touched him...somehow."
"What? You've felt something." The way he said it reassured me that I could hide nothing from him.
"I've dreamt of Jag, several nights." I confessed.
"That's probably not uncommon- you're still healing."
"They aren't just dreams, though, in these 'visions' he's with Davin, holding being a father..."
"Because you wanted him to be. Jaina don't set yourself up for more pain."
"No! It's more. I can feel him. I know he's there, Davin can feel him- he's always so calm when Jag holds him."
He looked at me like I was going insane, the pity-filled eyes met mine.
"All these things... another step in the grieving process."
I wanted to scream. If he wouldn't believe me, no one could. That is why I had kept it to myself all those nights.
What was it I felt in the visions? I had asked myself that a thousand times. Was I feeling Jag's afterlife? Was it the ripple in the Force that had connected me to him? Or was it a chance that he was still alive?
That last thought hurt and lifted me at the same time. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but if the chance was there...
I chose not to let Jacen in on my thoughts;
"Yeah, maybe it is just my grieving." I told him. Secretly, I vowed to find out the truth.

 

Poor jaina! Oh please let things get better for her

EJ

 

i agree with EJ! poor jaina!!! jacen just doesnt get it....

-jj00

ps. nice postie!

 

Muhhahahahaha!!!


Think things can only get better.... guess again!

 

i'm shocked even her own twin didn't believe her awesome post, jaina.

~aeryn

 

Come on, Jag's alive right? I want him to be alive! Jaina just has to go find him. Good story!

~*Rose*~

 

Jag's alive right? he's alive, right? please tell me he's alive! anyways, this is an awesome story! can't wait for more!

 

Jacen! Stop being stupid! Your sister isn't crazy, stop acting like she is!! Please let Jag be alive, please js! Before I read that last post I thought it might be Jacen holding the kid, but I was wrong. I've got an idea! Maybe it was Anakin! But.. since this is a j/j story, probably not. Please tell us soon js! This is killing us!



Katie

 

I like this keeping you guys in suspence sort of thing. It's kinda a power trip!


Honestly, though, DRL has me in a headlock. I'll try to get some more up as soon as I can.

 

What am I doing?
The thought had crossed my mind a thousand times. I knew that Baron Soontir Fel and Syal Antilles-Fel had a right to know their grandson, and to hear from their son's fiancee, but why did I feel the strong urge to go to them?
Maybe I could find some truth there.
As the days passed, the more I couldn't shake the feeling that Jag had somehow survived. Maybe I shouldn't give them false hope that their son is alive, but I truly believed it.
Davin was getting so big. His little hands now grasped for everything in sight, and his beautiful big eyes searched everything that passed his way. His hair, slightly unruly, the way Jag's would have been, had he let it get longer.
Davin sat in a baby seat, next to me in the co-pilots chair. He seemed so content there, watching me with the controls. The kid's doomed to be a pilot. I thought as his lineage crossed my mind. He was a mixture of Fel/Solo/Skywalker/Antilles. Yep, no doubt about it, this kid was going to be one of the best.
"This is the stick control. And see this nob?" I pointed- "this activates the hyperdrive." Might as well teach him now.

A couple of hours, a few diaper changes and a nap later we dropped out of hyperspace at Csilia. I wasn't even sure I could passed the security, but I had to try.
"Unknown vessel, state your name and your business. Any complications and you will be automatically eliminated. Chiss security unit over." Came the pompous voice over my com.
"Colonel Jaina Solo of the GFFA military, requesting a landing permit in order to confer with General Baron Soontir Fel and his family."
"Request denied. Vector astern and return to your previous course."
"Please, just tell him that Jaina would like to speak..."
"Vector astern, or be prepaired to retreat."
I knew they were serious. These Chiss pilots weren't ones to be messed with, and had my son not been with me, I might have given them a run for their money, but I set my course to go back, but a bass-toned voice stoped me.
"Colonel Solo, you have permission to land at coordinate 675, at my command. This is General Fel out."
"Thank you General."
Somehow he must have heard of an outsider trying to get through. Somehow I didn't think that happened very often.
I set my coordinates to land and prepared to break some news to the Fel family...

 

cool post, jaina somehow i get the feeling too, jag is still alive.

~aeryn

 

i agree, AS. i agree w/ jaina!

 

The kid's doomed to be a pilot that was funny, in a depressing sort of way


anyways...

*visibly brightens*


that was an awesome postie!

 

I feel so sorry for the Fels, they've already lost two of their kids, now they've lost another one? I hope Syal doesn't have a breakdown or something. I want to see Soontir's reaction, in all the stories I've read, he has never shown any emotions at all. Post soon js! I love it!


Katie

 

I'll try to have some more up soon. Thanks guys!

 

ur welcome!

 

that was cute to have jaina teaching davin Loved the post! Oh poor Jaina!

EJ

 

This is such a sad, but beautiful story! And so well written!

I love it!

Please let Jag be alive, and post soon!!

~Priestess

 

Thanks! More up possibly tommarow evening.

 

As my ship touched down, a sense of forboding came over me. I dragged out the shut-down procedures as long as I could, but decided not to keep the General waiting any longer. I took a deep breath, gathered Davin and walked down the ramp. Waiting for me with a crisp stance, hands behind his back was General Baron Soontir Fel and a few Chiss subordinates. The sight of Fel brought a lump to my throat- Jag stood like that when he wasn't alone with me. The General's eye went straight to Davin. I nonchalantly switched him to another hip, so I could salute Fel with my right hand.
"General," I said as formally as I could muster, "may I say how wonderful it is to be in your presence and how grateful I am for the allowance to land."
"That's quite alright Colonel, though I thought you would be the only guest I would be recieving." He said still eyeing the baby. He was obviously curious.
"If you find my son threatening, Sir, I'm sure he wouldn't mind being questioned, though I doubt you'll get much from him."
The look he sent me fairly called me "rebel."
"I'm sure he will be threatning one day, and questioning will be nescessary, but for now an introduction will be suffecient." he said.
"Is Mrs. Fel near?" I asked, stalling.
"In our quarters." he answered.
"Perhaps I could speak with you both."


The Fel apartment had a contradicting air. The living area was so clean, it was almost sterile, but still it had a homey feel. No doubt the mixture of the stern General and his beautiful wife. As Syal Antilles Fel swept into the room, I instantly knew why she had stolen so many hearts in holo-dramas in the past. She was breathtakingly beautiful, and she had aged gracefully, though she was a bit heavier than in her younger days, no doubt due to bearing five children; I had bore only one and I still wasn't back to my normal weight.
"Soontir, I wasn't aware we would be having company! Jaina isn't it? Please have a seat!" She was ever so graceful in her movements, and her protocol was warm and friendly. Everyone would feel welcome when she was near.
"Thank you, it has been a long trip." I said.
"Well, who have you brought along with you? Such a darling child..."
Her sentence broke off as she caught the full view of Davin. Obviously she had noticed the resemblence to Jag.
"I've tried to obtain the same information, but yet to know." Soontir piped up.
Syal sat next to me on the repulsor couch, her eyes wide.
"Can I?" She asked, holding out her arms to accept my son. I nodded, the tears already springing to my eyes. I passed Davin to her, and watched as she looked into the eyes of my baby.
He cooed.
"There's no mistaking this... this is our grandson isn't it?" She said not taking her eyes off Davin.
I looked at my hands lying in my lap, and simply nodded.
The General groped to the seat next to his wife. To the untrained eye his face showed no emotion, but being accustumed to Jag, I saw shock, curiosity, and a touch of disbelief; followed by digust.
"Our son...." Syal started, but was stopped by the ball of emotion caught in her throat. They had recieved the news months ago, but they had learned to move on when tragedy hit. They had had way too much practice.
"He never knew." I managed to say.
"Jagged had sent us holomessages and in some he mentioned you... I wasn't aware you're relationship had been so serious." Soontir said, I could sense that he wouldn't believe HIS son would father a child before wed-lock.
"We we're engaged." I explained.
The room was silent for what seemed an eternity, but was really only a few seconds.
Syal pulled my son closer and broke the uncomfortable silence.
"What have you named him?"
As I looked up and into her eyes, a tear rolled down my cheek- I knew this would be a bittersweet moment for the two of them.
"I named him Davin."






More up when I can find time!

 

very nice postie... very sad tho. uk.... i was waiting for jag to be at his parents or something (guess not).

 

i had the same feeling too, jj ? nice post, jaina.

~aeryn