My earliest childhood scarring...uhh..I mean memory.. :p (Lenny's Week 2, Day Task 1)

To be totally truthful with you, it's really hard for me to trace-back my earliest childhood memories. Blame it on my condition of memory loss...my excessive drinking...my banging my head on things constantly as a young boy...my ma dropping me on my head as a baby...blame it on several things...


But I'd have to say my earliest childhood memory HAS to be when I got into a situation that forced me to wear glasses for the rest of my life...


It was a sunny early spring-time day in the wonderful town of Aplington, Iowa during the lovely year of 1980. "The Empire Strikes Back" was a mere couple of months away (that being my first-ever movie-going experience and another early childhood memory... ) I was a young and impressionable three year-old child....having fun frolicking around out at my Aunt and Uncle Muller's house in the country. I was happy in my youth...happy of the situation that I had been in. I knew nothing of greed. I gave help without any thought of reward. And that's what led me to the bonfire on that fateful Saturday day...


You see, there are many a trees at my Aunt and Uncle's house. Many a branches....many a bark...you name it...it's there. So my Aunt had myself and my cousins Jenny and Jon helping with the clean-up. Oh my, it was ever so much fun. And how could it not be? Huh? I mean, we were picking up STICKS and throwing them into a FIRE. As a three year-old boy...that's a pretty damn cool thing, let me tell you what....


So there I was...singing "five, six, pick-up sticks" in my own little kid way. Hopping to and fro. When finally I came upon the dreaded stick. "The One Stick", if you will. One Stick to Rule Them All. I marvelled at it's glory. It's sheer beautifulness-ness. I basked in it's unabashed marvels. This was the last time I would be happy on this day...unfortunately...


With that, I picked-up The One Stick and decided to cast it into the fire! Ridding myself and others of it's tempting evils and alluring looks. So, with my little three year-old might...I picked-up The One Stick and made my trek to Bonfire Doom. The journey was perilous, let me assure you. Dog crap everywhere. "The Dog Doo Marshes" as I now refer to them... Lots of jagged rocks next to the house for me to trip upon...not to mention the sticks. And the rusty swingset of hatred and dispair blocked the white picket fence gate of the backyard...which led to The Bonfire of Doom...


So I did what any normal three year-old kid would do...I started to run...run like the wind...like the Dark Dog Toby was nipping at my heels. When the moment of truth came, I was upon the "Bonfire of Doom"...I kept running. But something happened then, that my three year-old self did not intend. A tree stump, "Stumpbo Baggins of the Yard" was in my way...and I tripped over it, sending me violently straight towards the ground. But to my amazement..something stopped me from making the full impact on the ground...The One Stick. It firmly implanted itself in my eye. And damn...did it ever hurt...


I remember the rest of that day...wailing and bawling my eyes out. It hurt so damn bad...and my life has NEVER been the same since. Curse The One Stick! Curse it all to heck!



And that's my little tale of my earliest childhood memory...jabbing my eye-out with a stick. Hope you enjoyed it...cuz I sure as hell didn't...

That was a magnificently compelling tale, Lenny. I'm sorry that happened to you, though

That stick had a mind of it's own. It was either you or it, Sam.

I wonder where the Stick of Doom is now? I think I have an idea:

[image=http://www.spitemag.com/media/saddam.gif]

Ouch! I'm sorry to hear that you embedded a stick in your eye, Lenny!

Glasses are good though. And sexy.

Jae Angel

Ow! That sounds really painful!
really. that's all I have to say about that. Oh, and I enjoyed your reference to the One Stick and all that