Before My Eyes Will Never Recover! (Qui, Obi) humor vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by brodiew, Apr 10, 2009.

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  1. brodiew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2005
    star 5
    Title: My Eyes Will Never Recover!
    Author: brodiew
    Genre: humor, light angst
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon
    Summary: Qui-Gon is infected with troubling parasite. Obi-Wan looks on.
    Disclaimer: This is all George's jungle.
    Author Note: I've not written a longer vig featuring these two in some time. I hope I'm not too rusty. Enjoy!



    It had only been six months since Obi-Wan had become Qui-Gon?s apprentice. Every experience was an opportunity to learn more about his New Master. But, so soon after their pairing, he was not prepared for the sight playing out before him.

    He had been told by the Creche Master that Qui-Gonn Jinn was a thoughtful, relaxed, easy going, determined, sometimes challenging Jedi. He did not expect the see his Master wiggling, jiggling, and trying to wriggle free of his robes and underclothing.

    In fact, when the pale olive skin of Qui-Gon?s arms was exposed, Obi-Wan covered his eyes. Very seldom had he seen as much?weirdness.

    ?Are you alright, Master?? Obi-Wan asked from behind the kitchen counter. Qui-Gon?s ghastly jig continued as his tunic hit the floor. Obi-Wan could not help but notice the myriad red spots which speckled his Master?s torso.

    ?Do I look alright to you, Young One?? Qui-Gon responded, feverishly scratching at his chest. Red streaks caused by his finger nails appeared quickly.

    ?No, Master,? the padawan replied, calmly. ?You appear to be experiencing some kind of infection.?

    ?V-very observant, Padawan,? Qui-Gon said with a shaky voice. The tall Jedi master began running in place even as he crossed his arms to scratch his opposite shoulders. ?Do you think you could contact he Healer?s Ward??

    ?Why are you hopping around like that, Master?? Obi-Wan asked with genuine curiosity.

    ?If you must know, my feet are itching as much as the rest of me. The longer they make contact with the carpet, the more they itch. I?m trying to keep them off the floor as best I can.?

    ?You look silly, Master,? Obi-Wan commented matter of fact.

    Gui-Gon grimaced as spots began appearing on his face. ?Such a clever child. CALL THE HEALER?S WARD!?

    Obi-Wan was unperturbed by his Master?s outburst and decided to offer a alternative solution.

    ?Perhaps, we should just go down there, instead wasting time with a call, Master?? he offered.

    ?Listen to me closely, Padawan,? Qui-Gon growled. ?My entire body is being attacked by some kind of infection or parasite or who knows what. I am growing more and more irritated with every bump that appears, every itch that follows, and every scratch I?m forced to make. If you do not comm. the healers right now, I?ll be forced to give you a great big hug. In doing so, I?ll be sharing my present affliction with you. Understand??

    Obi-Wan?s previously flippant attitude disappeared immediately. ?You would do that Master??

    Qui-Gon emitted a sound something like the squeal of a Mynock as he continued hopping and scratching. Wearing only his pants, he resembled a primitive tribal warrior dancing around a fire before going into battle.

    Suddenly, the long haired warrior started fumbling with the tie string which held up his pants. Obi-Wan?s eyes went wide.

    ?Master! No!? Obi-Wan darted from the kitchen, grabbing his robe from a nearby chair, and hurdled toward his Master. Making sure not to touch Qui-Gon?s skin, he pushed his apparently delirious Master toward the refresher. When they breached the plane of the fresher, Qui-Gon?s pants dropped to his feet.

    The site of his new Master's bare buttocks so close to him, caused Obi-Wan to stumble backward. The door knob caught in the arm of his robe and pulled the door closed with a loud BAM as he fell to the floor.

    Obi-Wan settled his breathing as he pulled his comm. unit from his robe, which he then discarded in a laundry basket.

    Thumbing the transmitter, he requested to be patched into healer?s ward.

    ?This is Master Healer Jintu. With whom am I speaking, please??

    ?Good evening, Master Jintu. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, new padawan to Master Qui-Gon Jinn. We
  2. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5

    ?Listen to me closely, Padawan,? Qui-Gon growled. ?My entire body is being attacked by some kind of infection or parasite or who knows what. I am growing more and more irritated with every bump that appears, every itch that follows, and every scratch I?m forced to make. If you do not comm. the healers right now, I?ll be forced to give you a great big hug. In doing so, I?ll be sharing my present affliction with you. Understand??

    Obi-Wan?s previously flippant attitude disappeared immediately. ?You would do that Master??



    [face_laugh]

    Of course, he would, Obi.

    So, I know what thread in Resource Brodiew has been reading. :D
  3. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Hee hee, poor Obi-Wan. :p

    Thanks for sharing, brodiew, I loved this! :D
  4. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Loved it and a great response to that challenge.=D==D==D=
  5. GeneralKenobi7 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2009
    star 4
    Poor Obi-Wan's eyes[face_laugh]
    Good response to the challenge!
  6. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    Poor Qui!

    A little warning, next time, Master. Twice in one day is too much!?

    And what sympathy Obi-Wan has for his Master's suffering!

    Next time just call me over. I wouldn't mind twice, trice or more in one day ;)

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  7. p_stotts Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2001
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Oh, I needed a laugh right now! Thanks for providing a good one. Poor Qui-Gon. Less than 6 months and he's already emotionally scarred Obi for life. :D
  8. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    A rash and then jello??? Now that does get Qui-Gon naked. :p And poor Obi-Wan has seen far too much. The life of a Jedi is a difficult one.
  9. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    [face_laugh]

    Poor Obi-Wan :(

    Great job, brodiew =D=
  10. SithGirl132 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2005
    star 4
    Quite creative and hilarious! Jello and similarly textured things have always seemed to me potentially amusing substances- great humor here!
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