Beyond My Face Toward Vengeance - Luke/Mara - AU- Post Betrayal - angst

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Jun 24, 2006.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: My Face Toward Vengeance (retitled - thank you, JediNemesis!)
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Luke, Mara
    Genre: AU
    Timeframe: Post Betrayal
    Summary: A tragedy strikes at the heart of the Skywalker family
    Notes: My own mad imagination went wild about what might happen after Betrayal. So I'm not really sure if anything here would be considered a spoiler or not. :p

    And thank you to Gina for this LOVELY cover art!


    [image=http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d117/MamaVader/Face.jpg]



    My Face Toward Vengeance

    I wake up and for one precious instant, the significance of the day ? this very hour ? escapes me. Then, as it always does, the memory of our tragedy washes over me and I drown in it all over again. I expect that every day for the rest of my life I?ll feel that way, lost and out of control, buried under a deluge of grief and regret. I want my old life back, I think in a moment of selfishness.

    Beside me, Luke stirs. He has not been sleeping well, no more than I have. I turn and look at him and his eyes are trained on the ceiling above, his head pillowed on his hands. ?It?s been a year,? he whispers. ?Almost exactly a year, in just a few minutes.?

    Neither of us needs to look at chrono to mark the time, we have felt that moment in the depths of our hearts for one very long year. ?I know,? I murmur, moving to the warm comfort of his embrace. His flesh, however, feels cool against me. During his few, fitful hours of sleep, what nightmares have tortured him?

    ?Are you okay?? I ask, and even as the words leave me, I recognize their foolishness. He is not all right, and never will be, never again.

    ?No,? he answers both simply and honestly. He turns and I am stunned anew at the grief in his blue eyes. ?But you know that,? he said tenderly.

    I do not reply, merely move closer to him, seeking his steady serenity. A part of me wishes I could feel what he feels, that calm, quiet grief that is so strong it threatens to shatter him into a thousand tiny pieces. But his mourning is a cool thing, laced by ice rather than fire. He has, in a way, accepted.

    I have not.

    ?We should visit him today,? I whisper into the firm flesh beneath me. We do not look into each other?s eyes as much anymore, perhaps we are afraid of what we might see there ? or not see. Either way, we find our gazes sliding away from each other, hiding what is and is not in our hearts.

    ?You can go,? he replies quietly, but his words are firm, cold. He will not go there, has not been there since the day we left our son there.

    ?You should come today,? I murmur. ?Today of all days.?

    ?Ben won?t know if I?m there or not,? Luke answers in a hard voice that still seems strange coming from him, my beloved farmboy. Where once Luke glowed warm in the Force, a vibrant and steady center around which I orbited, now he is a cool, still void. He is a stranger to me in so many ways.

    I sit up and look down at him. He flinches away as my hair brushes against his shoulder and I stare at him with curious, detached eyes. This is a new reaction to my touch, and I sense it should trouble me, but I am wrapped in the cocoon I have been sheltered in for a year, the walls that have allowed me to remain somewhat sane. ?I?ll know,? I tell him. Will my need be enough to prompt him to action?

    Luke rolls over, away from me and faces the wall. ?It?ll be easier without me there,? he says quietly. ?Trust me.?

    Even though I did not expect him to come with me, did not even want him to, I am stung by his refusal. Then I chide myself, for he has given me exactly the opening I need, the opportunity for which I had been searching. ?All right,? I whisper and I place my hand on his muscular arm. He does not flinch away this time, but I sense he has stopped himself from doing so ? just barely.

    I cuddle up against him and close my eyes. I pretend that it is a year and a day ago, when none of this had happened and we were a happy family. I loved and was loved, and I had felt complete. I
  2. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 9, 2000
    star 6
    One rather hopes it's an AU...

    ... but it's an awesome piece of writing, with a perfect last line.

    I take it it's a one-shot? Would be interesting to see it taken further, though...

    - The Imperial Ewok
  3. RedGold Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 29, 2004
    star 4
    Darn it.

    Now I really do need to finish reading that book!
  4. Kidan TFN EU Staff

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2003
    star 5
    how beautiful and tragic! You've done very well with this one VaderLVR, and I sincerely hope that you're planning on continueing (andif you do, PMs please :D).



    Great job!
  5. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    :_|

    :eek:

    Dear goodness... I hope nothing like this happens! Oh, my... Luke and Mara are perfectly written in their grief, however...

    Excellent job! =D=
  6. Blue_Milkshake Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2005
    star 3
    Whoa. *sniffle* This was powerful.

    If you add anything, will you PM me too please?
  7. Jade_Pilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2005
    star 5
    Whoa! My emotions are roller coasting all over the place. Great job, Vadey. I'd have to quote the whole thing to list my favorite line.

    I really hope they end up back together, though. Happily-ever-after-me, I know!

    Bravo! =D=
  8. Jedi_Lover Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    Wow!! I really hope this doesn't happen in the profics. This was absolutely beautifully written, but it is so sad. I really liked Ben's portrayal in Betrayal. I hope nothing terrible happens to him.

    JL
  9. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    That was scary in its plausibleness. Heart wrenching! Like the prelude to After the Rain--where the loss of Ben shattered Luke and Mara's relationship. You write very emotively, poignantly and the words are etched on my heart forever--because I can feel myself there, watching their love shatter into a thousand tiny pieces and my heart breaks too. :_| =D= Lands, you're good! :)
  10. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    Beautifully written, but, wow, so sad. :_| Parents' grief at having a child die, especially when they're murdered, is unimaginable to me.

    I'm clinging to the hope that Ben will survive the Legacy books (that Cade descendant had to come from someone). It's Luke and Mara that I'm more worried about.
  11. Sara_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 7
    Oh, wow, that was awesome! Very angsty and dramatic, too! :eek: =D=
  12. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I was thinking Luke remarried ME and we had a couple of kids! [face_laugh] What do you mean that isn't Canon??? :confused:

    This started out as a vignette and now something weird is happening in my mind. Okay, that's pretty much a daily thing, but now I've got this wild plot bunny. STOP! I can't start anything else right now! :_|
  13. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Oh, yes!!! This BEGS for a sequel! And I want to be at the top of the PM list when it starts. Especially if it has a killer lightsaber duel between Mara and Jacen in it and a making-up scene that requires a jumbo box of tissues. I just HOPE there is one! Argh! [face_batting] [face_batting] *does an anticipatory wriggle*
  14. SilSolo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 5
    Jacen'd better find some refuge and Hapes looks like a good place. I'd like for you to expand it.
  15. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
  16. JediJainaSoloFel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2004
    star 4
    YIKES!

    Talk about angsty with an underlying darkness. Excellent writing (even if it did give me a cold feeling).
  17. Gabri_Jade VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2002
    star 5
    I LOVE it. Love it, love it, love it. :D

    You write all the little details of how Ben's loss has affected Luke and Mara and their relationship so well. It's beautiful to read. :D And it all fits in so well with Betrayal, too. I could totally see this happening.

    You're continuing it, right? You wouldn't stop it there, would you? [face_batting]
  18. ThePariah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2003
    star 4
    :eek:

    [face_worried]

    :_|






    ...Any chance Mara's carrying around a yellow jumpsuit and a Hanso sword? :p
  19. StarFighter5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2003
    star 4
    It would certainly be interesting if this comes to pass in the EU, but let's hope this is only one of the possible futures.:p
  20. MJade Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 22, 2005
    star 1
    Oh, sweet Force. Mama Vader has done it again!!!!!!!!!!! =D= Wonderful story. You really caught Luke and Mara so well. Poor Ben. :_| It was all pitch perfect. I really do hope you continue this. It would be a fascinating story. I think Jacen should watch out.



    --M Jade
  21. Feng_Huang Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2005
    star 2
    One of the many reasons I'm not reading the Legacy series, I don't want anything like this happening :_|:_|
    Are you going to update 'Not for the faint of heart'? I think we need something to counter this angst.
  22. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Wow, I didn't see that coming. Jacen killed Ben??? I loved that Mara and Luke have both turned into themselves in their grief, that Luke couldn't even face his child's death by visiting him and that Mara had decided that Jacen needed to die. I loved that they accepted that Mara and Luke would never see each other again when Mara was done.

    Great job. =D=
  23. divapilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2005
    star 4
    Wow- how incredibly heartbreaking. The emotions are twisted inside and over and around so much that it's almost impossible to tell what's right and what's wrong.

    That Luke wouldn't stop her -- in fact gives her the opportunity to exact her revenge -- how that must go against everything he's ever believed in. He knows what she's planning. He allows her to go forward with it. He's complicit.

    The after-effects are devastating. The marriage is murdered under the weight of the grief and regret, and Mara's ultimate intention, after she destroys Jacen -- she really doesn't have much to live for if Luke flinches when she accidentally touches him.

    This is a very powerful piece, told in the half light of characters who walk around the horrible truth and try to deal rationally with the unfathomable. Boy, I sincerely hope this is AU!
  24. Princess Cambria Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 20, 2006
    star 4
    Wow...very intense, wonderfully written.=D=
  25. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Divapilot posted:
    The after-effects are devastating. The marriage is murdered under the weight of the grief and regret, and Mara's ultimate intention, after she destroys
    Jacen -- she really doesn't have much to live for if Luke flinches when she accidentally touches him.

    This is a very powerful piece, told in the half light of characters who walk around the horrible truth and try to deal rationally with the unfathomable.

    Dear goodness,, but she's articulate! Right, too! Now we really need a sequel, and even if it's angsty to start, like "Timoritus", it has to end on a mushy fluffy, or at least hopeful note. [face_batting] ;) I desperately want a PM whenever or if ever it starts. :D
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