I had been planning on watching the wedding video. Clearly Prenn has violated the new spoiler policy. BAN HIM!!!
I know nothing we say on the internet can really help you feel better, but all the same, I hope you feel better. You're a wonderful person and time will help you heal. All the best.
Dude you guys are great. Way better than a therapist or anything. And I didn't even have to pay you guys anything! Also, I still have plane tickets to Phoenix at the end of October. Since we ended on such good terms, we decided that it's going to be a booty call weekend. Good idea or bad idea? Also, the bright side is I can now finally pursue my relationship with @TheGuardianofArlon. Eh? EH?!
It's Ben and Jerry's time! Seriously, I am really sorry. It sucks being dumped so get yourself some ice cream and watch some Real Housewives of New Jersey/NYC/Atlanta/Miami. Edit: DON'T DO IT. That is a horrible idea. Horrible. You need space.
Terrible idea. No matter how much you guys try to convince yourselves and each other that it will be nothing but a "booty call weekend," and that you're cool with that, it will be a mind ****. Don't put yourself through that.
It's better that this happened now. There's that at least, you don't want to start a marriage with one party harboring regrets. That's supposed to come later!
for Prenn. Look at it this way - it's better that she realized she wanted some space before the wedding than after, right?
Yeah, if you're sad now, image how sad you'll be at end of October when you rip off the Band-Aid from the wound. As others said above, save yourself the heartache and don't go.
all relationships are different and i've never had one that didn't fail, so i'll refrain from giving any advice. hang in there though, these things take time to heal but they do heal.
Two things: 1. Breaking up is hard, but things will get better so hang in there. 2. Booty call? No. Just no.
I seriously doubt any of us know enough to provide an informed opinion. From what I can tell reading this thread, some of us are more broken up about it than you are. Obviously, as others have said, going is fraught with emotional peril and it probably will end up with one or both of you getting hurt. It could also be an incredibly cathartic experience where you both get to say a "proper" goodbye. Or it could just be a fun time between ex-lovers. You're young. You're supposed to go off and make stupid choices. Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment. Go learn some good judgment.* *If you do decide to go, I'd encourage you to make sure you guys do more talking than humping (say a 70/30 split, I'd say) to make sure you both walk away ready to move on.
This is unfortunate situation to go through, PRENN, but you're nice outgoing/sociable guy... I'm sure you'll be able to find another girlfriend in the future.
Hey, he asked, so I answered. I guess I get what you're trying to say when you say that youth is for making mistakes and whatever, but where you go into "wtf" territory, is when you talk about a proper goodbye--a booty call is not really a proper goodbye. You then say that they should have a serious talk on their booty call weekend, that they agreed was a booty call weekend--this is where the mind**** will come from. They've already split up and walked away... less than a month is not long enough to move on, and meeting up for ferocious sex and serious discussion is not going to help in the healing process, it's only going to create confusion "okay, so we had a great weekend, but we're still broken up. Are we still broken up? wtf, why do I feel this way? It was just a booty call. I'm going to call her." The phone call gets made, and somebody gets hurt... again. They're essentially reliving the break-up. I dunno... you're grown adults--do what you want to do. I just think it's a bad idea.
99% of relationship advice is stupid anyway Except no booty call. That was a joke, right? Please tell me that was a joke. wtf? I don't understand you people.
I'm not sure what to say here. You and pretty much everyone else told him not to. I told him that it might be ok (which also implies that it might not). In point of fact, I actually told him that it would probably result in one or both of them being hurt. But to suggest that any of us know with any degree of certainty whether it's a good or bad idea for him in his particular situation is a bit ridiculous. The scenario you've laid out is entirely possible, even probable. But certain? Hardly. Problems arise where there's a disconnect between expectations and reality. The mind **** you're talking about comes when one or both parties go into a situation with expectations that either haven't been communicated or don't match up with the ones they've communicated. In my personal experience, young people aren't always mature enough to even recognize that they have unstated expectations but then again that's part of growing up. It could be that Prenn and this young woman have had lots of conversations about sex and what it means and doesn't mean for them. I know many, many men who are able to disconnect the emotional connections of sex from the physical part. Perhaps his ex is a woman who is also able to do this and they both know it. Who knows? That's what I meant when I said that we know enough to give an informed opinion. As such, I think he should consider the fact that all of us are coming at his question with our own personal biases and experiences and looking at it through our own personal lens. Would I ever have a "booty call" with an ex? I can't imagine a set of circumstances in which I would. I'm not really a booty call kinda guy to begin with. But since he asked, I'm giving him enough credit to believe that he at least knows if he's the kind of guy who could do that in the first place and he's considered the emotional risk. For all I know, his choice of the term "booty call" might have nothing to do with what they actually mean. In any case, I suspect he just wanted to validate his own thoughts on the matter. Regardless, I don't see what's so outlandish about presenting him with more to think about than just "Don't do it!". That's what you tell a 2 yr old about to touch a stove because he can't grasp the danger. Prenn's a big boy.
I'm pretty sure that I said Prenn and his ex are grown adults and should do what they want to do. I also gave a lot more than "Don't do it!" lol... anyway, I'm not really interested in arguing with anybody about Prenn's love life--that wasn't my intention when I quoted and responded to your post. I apologize if I came across like I was looking for a debate--I wasn't.
