Listen to Dashboard Confessional while writing. And paint your nails black and at least consider experimenting with mascara. Or go out and be amongst the living. You may be shocked at the results of surrounding yourself with friends vs moping about the house in your jammies singing "Your hair is everywhere, screaming infidelities". I'm rooting for you. And, if you look hawt in the mascara, send me pics. I may come and propose to you.