Before - Legends my first fan fic. or chapter anyway. feedback please.

ok, this is my first bit of fanfic, so i dont expect it to be good.

it involves a new charecter, the son of a jedi apprentice, but its only going to get
that far if you like this, which is how his dad survived order 66.
he is a 9 year old apprentice.
also, dont read this if you cant take minors getting killed. but if you couldnt,
you wouldnt have watched ROTS right?








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Cal Racto had always liked the clones. The way they all looked the same. Sure, it made each
one hard to identify (without extensive battle scarring) but it made them look almost like
an alien species, one that most humans
cannot tell apart, but the aliens can tell each other apart. Cal liked aliens. well,
most aliens. they were quite interesting. different. but Cal wasent so sure he liked
the clones now. about 5 minutes ago, a troop of 6 had blown down the door to his dorminitorie
in the jedi temple, shot his correlian friend (the only other correlian he knew within the jedi
temple)straight through the neck, and slaughtered most of the boys (alien and human alike)
in his dominitorie. he had been awake since the start, talking with his brown haired correlian
friend, when there had been a loud click outside the door. just at that point, cal had felt the
rule obeying clones, just beyond the door, blindly obeying rules, as always. after about 1
second, he realised that there was something wrong. what were clones doing just beyond his door?
just as he finished that thought, the door blew in, smashing into one of the younglings, about
4 years old, and killing him instantly. the two clones first through the door had shot his
friend, allam robadi, and moves through the room, nearly missing cal. as one of the clones
brought his blaster up for a shot, a
luminesant green blade slid its way through his chest. the clone triggered the bolt anyway,
but it went wide,blasting a charred pit in the ceiling. the padawan who saved him, a lankey
11 year old, two years older than cal himself, with short brown hair, and a padawan ponytail
sliding down his back, almost out of sight. he was dressed only on his bottom half. but cal
noticed none of this. he was still too shocked to move, stunned. if he didnt move now, one
of the clones was sure to get him. the lanky jedi, tabban freelesca, slew the other clone,
bringing the blade up at an angle that would destroy the weapon and behaed the clone who
carried it. just as tabban finished this daring move, about 3 seconds after the first two
clones had leapt in, the second two leapth through the blasted doorway. the first one was
cut down by blaster fire, blaster fire that brought cal out of his stunned state. he looked
around, and saw the young padawan, perhaps 7 years old, weilding a DC 21, the latest model
of blaster that the clones used. he must have used the force to pull the weapon towards him,
thought cal. thats the only way he got it. unfortunatly, tabban freelesca also looked around
towards the shot, leaving the other clone a clean shot. the clone blew a charred pit into the
back of tabbans head, and turned to face the blaster weilding padawan. half a millisecond later,
cals deep blue lightsaber was igniting with a snap-hiss, and the long blade was slicing through
the clones armour, through the under vest, through the skin and organs, and out the other side.
for a millisecond, the clones body remained in place, but then the torso fell from the legs at
an angle, and both halfs fell tho the floor with a clump. but by then, the last clones were
through, and just 3 of the original 20 occupants remained, cal, the blaster weilding padawan,
and a youngling cal didnt know by name.the young padawan pulled off a shot, blasting at the
clones armour, but it did no good, as the armour was too strong, and the blast too weak.
cal sliced through the troopers armour, just as the second got a shot at him. he deflected
it into the already dead falling body of the

 

I like your style!

It's very good....

Please continue1