My first teaser trailer

Ok so this is me gettin my fan film fourm virginiry gettin popped lmao

Its got crap sounds
there is no sound fx

but i was hoping it was a 'presentable ' idea

n all that


oh wot the hell, here you go

the movie link

start tearing into it then

 

5mins, in and nothing...

 

Call this a bribe.



lol


[image=http://emporium.webspace4free.biz/star_wars_movies/leia.jpg]

 

Well it is pretty late(or early), 3:00 am where I'm at. But since I seem to be striken with a mild case of insomnia i'll say a couple things. I liked the multidirectional star shots at the beginning. The only thing I would change though is to fade them out a little more. Right now they kinda just end suddenly. Then again that is just a preference thing. It might also fit with music you have in mind, I don't know. I know nothing about 3d modeling but what I saw looked good to me. I know it is just a teaser but usually even teasers show a little bit more of what the whole thing is about, the ROTS teaser for example. Overall I liked the feel. It would definetly help if there was sound also

 

Very good use of 3d programing there! I quite liked the blue glow on the planet. Very good! However sound effects would go down nicely, and some actual footage? From the trailer the only thing I got was it had something to do with star wars! lol.

Apart from that very good attempt! Keep up the good work!

Blue

 

I don't see anyone but '05ers posting here, so I'm gonna suck it up and rip into your footage a bit here.

First of all: WAY too many taglines. I was getting confused, to be honest. They were all really vague, incredibly similar, and somewhat uninteresting. Some of them don't even make sense.
"From darkness; comes the light." Not usually. Light comes from a light source and abolishes the darkness. Maybe say "Light will come from the darkness" or something. Whatever you do, get rid of that comma.
"With balance, comes chaos." You may have to go through chaos to get to balance, which is probably what you mean, but that's not what you said.
"If one succeeds, one must fail." You're mixing tenses. Try "For one to succeed, one must fail." I would actually have said fall, but fail works too.
"Within tragedy, lies hope" Get rid of the comma, and put that on two seperate lines, and make "lies hope" fade in after "within tragedy".
"With the end, must come a new begining." Try "With every end comes a new beginning." And spell beginning right.
So basically, I would lose the first two lines, and edit the last three, and it'll be much better, imo.

The shot of the ships is cool, tho you still need engine glow (which you probably knew), and I would think that if those Star Destroyers are attacking, they'd both be facing the same direction, as this is what the Empire has tended to do in the movies.

I would just go ahead and use the star wars font for "Star Wars"
Using the Shadows of the Empire font is fine for "Chronicles", but the word itself seems quite fuzzy, so I'd try and see if you can't clean that up.

Oh, and before I forget, all your lines of text fade in slowly and fade out really quick, which was sort of distracting to me. I recommend making them fade at about the same speed.


So yeah, I hope I wasn't too harsh, but I think if you listen to some of this it will be greatly improved.


-Vaportrail

 

Downloading to take a look now. Its just giving me the html.

 

another bites the dust


Yeah after i render those star fields, for the titles, i realised that i had made them too short, but i just went what i went with.


But fear not, i'm workin on a new trailer, and less titles, more ship orientated actions.


Yeah, i kno i should of added in engine glows, in the xwing, a wings , i did have the falcon one in though, but i was just gaggin to get it up to be tested and evaluated,


And no, you werent too harsh, critisism is good, how am i supposed to get better , if ppl dont evaulate

 

Ok 2 quick things as well.


The video is in 360 x240, but its not really a good format to watch if there is space scenes , because personally i think you cant really pick up on detail.

So wot would be a presentle screen size, but also keeping it within acceptable file size *yes already using sorenson compression*

 

OK!


i've just come up with a genuis idea.

From what i 'sorta' did wiv the small moving clip in my trailer i've come up with the following idea.


-From the idea on clone wars, i'm going to do 3min episodes, Don't kno how many will have in total, each episdoe will cover part of a massive space battle.

- Changing the name to now

Star Wars : Chronicles Of War
(cos i think its more catchy)

-Will probably need a few V.o's so mite be looking for a few ppl to help out.

-This is a side project, so it may take time to time to do and post each episode, so still looking to help out ppl on their projects too