Saga My Heart is at Peace: a dying Jedi's reflections. Qui-Obi. Angst, h/c. TPM.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Valairy Scot, Mar 28, 2006.

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  1. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Title: My Heart is at Peace
    Author(s): Valairy_Scot
    Timeframe: end of TPM
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, minor others
    Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort
    Keywords: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn,
    Summary: Qui-Gon's reflections on the events leading up to his death.
    Notes: Author wonders how many readers she can drive to tears.
    I'm not sure if I've read any stories from Qui-Gon's POV regarding his death on Naboo.


    My Heart is at Peace



    My heart is at peace.

    My padawan and I are reconciled. I can feel his arms around me and his tears like gentle raindrops upon my face as I slide away...as the last few days flash through my mind. I hurt with your pain...I am so sorry...know your love eases our separation...and I strain to whisper, one last time, your name.

    Obi-Wan.

    I hurt him deeply in the Jedi Council Chamber, when I stepped forward and laid my hands on Anakin?s shoulder and said I would train the boy. I could sense Obi-Wan?s shock and anger, for he was my padawan, and I had said I would take another.

    I am not casting you aside, Padawan, I wanted to say, for he hadn?t understood. None of them had. Even I had not thought how my words would be received or understood.

    No, I wanted to turn to him, look into his eyes and assure him that the Force was telling me to do this ? that I was not casting him aside, but following the will of the Force. He would be okay ? he would pass the Trials and be a Knight and beyond my guardianship soon, anyway.

    Mace and Yoda both spoke out and said I could not accept another padawan learner while I yet had one.

    ?He is ready,? I assured them.

    ?I am,? Obi-Wan said, flushing. Hurt as he was by what he must have thought was my betrayal; he stepped forward and backed me up. ?I am ready,? he insisted.

    It was not the right thing to do, but I appreciated the gesture. Ever the dutiful padawan ? sometimes, too dutiful, I often felt ? he swallowed his pride and backed his master on another foolish quest, as he would see it.

    I tried to send a tendril of thanks through our bond, but he was closed off. Later, I thought, we will speak later and I will make amends to him.

    ?Ready so soon are you?? Yoda asked, turning to him. ?What know you of ready??

    Rather than bristling at Yoda, Obi-Wan turned to look at me, hurt blue-gray eyes not flinching away from what he feared he might find in mine. I stared calmly back, inwardly anything but calm. Things were spiraling out of control; antagonism was raising its ugly head here in the Council Chambers ? and my Padawan was all but glaring at me, daring me to give him ? the Council ? an answer. His look demanded an answer of me, and I gave him none.

    ?He is headstrong and has much to learn of the Living Force. But he is capable.? I turned my attention back to the Council; my attention away from my padawan?s steady gaze.

    Capable. I felt Obi-Wan?s shock. That was worse than his anger. Capable! I regretted my words as soon as I spoke them. Damning with faint praise, indeed. He deserved better of me. I flushed and wished I could take that word back. He was capable - more than capable - and I had all but called him mediocre, my exceptional padawan.

    But the Council denied me. Denied what the Living Force was telling me. Fools! They in their wisdom, their knowledge of the Unifying Force, were blind. So too, I was forced to admit, was Obi-Wan. No one was on my side. The side of the Force.

    I knew when to bite my tongue, and when to press the issue. I would let them think they had the final say. I would speak to them again; make them see what the Force showed me. I would make Obi-Wan see, too, for it was not right that we be so at odds. He was as a son to me, and I a father to him. I knew we would mend our relationship, but it had turned stormy and uncertain and now was not the time to speak. Only angry words would spill forth, and I did not wish that to happen. Nor, I suspected, did Obi-Wan.

    We left the Council Chamber and I followed the unhap
  2. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    ?Yes, Master,? he nodded through his tears. I was content. My duty was done, and I had been given the great gift of dying in my dear padawan?s arms. That was my last thought, as I relaxed for the last time within his arms, those loving arms of my beloved Obi-Wan.


    Well-written mush, I must say. Well-written, indeed. I commend you, and truly have no other words to say. =D=
  3. JediMindTrick000 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2004
    star 3
    Holy cow! You just about nailed that one on the head. I think this is this first work of yours that I've read, but if it's any representation of the rest of your work, I certainly look forward to reading it. You got right in Qui-Gon's mind and spilled it all out for us to enjoy. Very well done.
  4. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    That was a fine portrayal of what happened at the end of TPM
    It was so sad that he didn't say anything to Obi-wan out loud at the end except for "train the boy"
    But through their private thoughts he told him how he felt about Obi-wan.

    That was very nice=D=

    Never put off telling some one you love them[face_love]
  5. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Wonderfully insight into what we know must have gone on between those two. =D=
  6. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    That was just beautiful.

    The animosity between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was so realistic and well written.

    I am glad they made peace between them before facing Maul.

    And the ending - :_| :_| :_| :_|- absolutely perfect.

    Bravo

    =D= =D= =D= =D=

  7. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Just rip my heart out, why don't you?? :_|

    Rather than bristling at Yoda, Obi-Wan turned to look at me, hurt blue-gray eyes not flinching away from what he feared he might find in mine. I stared calmly back, inwardly anything but calm. Things were spiraling out of control; antagonism was raising its ugly head here in the Council Chambers ? and my Padawan was all but glaring at me, daring me to give him ? the Council ? an answer. His look demanded an answer of me, and I gave him none.

    ?He is headstrong and has much to learn of the Living Force. But he is capable.? I turned my attention back to the Council; my attention away from my padawan?s steady gaze.

    Capable. I felt Obi-Wan?s shock. That was worse than his anger. Capable! I regretted my words as soon as I spoke them. Damning with faint praise, indeed. He deserved better of me. I flushed and wished I could take that word back. He was capable - more than capable - and I had all but called him mediocre, my exceptional padawan.


    I always felt SO bad for Obi-Wan when Qui-Gon called him "capable!" You truly captured Qui-Gon's emotions. Lovely work! =D=
  8. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Luna_Nightshade: Glad you liked the mush.

    JediMindTrick000: Holy cow! You just about nailed that one on the head. I think this is this first work of yours that I've read, but if it's any representation of the rest of your work, I certainly look forward to reading it. You got right in Qui-Gon's mind and spilled it all out for us to enjoy. Very well done Thanks! I love the "holy cow!"

    Gkilkenny: Don't just put off telling someone - don't be afraid to, either!

    Healer_Leona: Thanks.

    Kelia: The animosity between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was so realistic and well written. I'm glad you liked it, though it always seem kinda of funny to think of two Jedi pouting and refusing to speak to each other! I always try to keep that in mind when I write these stories - they strive to be perfect Jedi, but the human Jedi have to fight their nature - they are human after all.

    VaderLVR64: I always felt SO bad for Obi-Wan when Qui-Gon called him "capable!" You truly captured Qui-Gon's emotions. Lovely work. Yeah, I agree. It was the manner he said it, almost dismissive. Grrrrrh.
  9. Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    :_| Such a sad ending! And even worse because Qui-Gon didn't truly get a chance to tell Obi-Wan exactly what he thought/believed. Loved the way you wrote Qui-Gon's pov, showing how he thought back about his words and actions, but still too stubborn to admit mistakes. Wonderful job! =D=
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