Atlantic My latest thread {[(enter at your own risk)]}

Discussion in 'Canada Discussion Boards' started by AT-ST_DRIVER, Jan 23, 2003.

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  1. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
    The ACG's (un)official poems by AT thread!

    NOTE: if you take offence to any of this stuff, please leave and pretend you did not see it.

    The Tragic Car Accident
    By AT, Poet of Poets

    Some people, it seems,
    are blind to the colours of this world.

    Green?

    Nope,
    Red.

    Splat.


    The Graphically violent poem i found in a childrens joke book
    (Stolen) by AT, King of Spam

    You look like an oragutang,
    you smell like a goat.
    If you were my valentine,
    I would slit your throat!
    [face_shocked]

    Cooks Brook
    (a continuation of a poem by Al Pittman)

    But he did not jump far enough
    off of the cliff,
    and his head went into his shoulders,
    Paralyzing him.

    And he slowly drowned to death.


    Soon to come... The Mountain of Life & Death by AT, Jedi Prophet
  2. Izird Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2001
    star 4
    1st reply! :D

    lol! Keep those creative juices flowing, AT! ;)
  3. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
    i try to the keep juices flowing as often as possible. ;)


    [face_plain]



    [face_shocked]


    Egads, What is meesa sayin?
  4. DarthBabe Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2002
    star 7
  5. Admiral_Thrawn60 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2000
    star 6
  6. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
    [one of] my unfinished works...


    The Ballad of Cuppa Joe, who secretly loved his best friends girlfriend and died for her

    This is a poem,
    thats ending is ruined,
    in its very title.

  7. Sar-Tamber-lac Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2002
    star 5
    THE BIRTH OF SPAM
    -Tammy Craig <><

    There was one day on the ACG
    That a poster registered by the name of AT
    He seemed so young, he seemed so cool
    Who was to know he had us all fooled?

    After a year of legitamte posting
    There came an explosion of great trash and boasting
    From far and near you could hear the cry
    "The spam is hear! The spam is nie!"

    The spam was squishing out through the threads
    And all that was missing was the loaf of bread
    And as the crap rolled all over the forum land
    All could hear the cry "I AM THE KING OF SPAM!"

    So this was the birth of the AC spam
    And I hope that you're scared, cause I sure am
    Forever embedded on our minds this will be
    And it's all thanks to the spam king AT.
  8. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
    Awesome poem, Tammy! this means im gonna have to write one about you. expect to see it tomorrow.


    Tsunami

    A wave,
    Started somewhere in the south pacific,
    Quickly begins to pick up speed.
    Like a bullet it travels,
    only to crash upon the inocent,
    killing millions.

    ~By Adam McPhee, abuser of metaphors



    "The Dark Wheel"

    As the Dark Wheel turns,
    I am blinded in pain.
    Thus i pray for death.

    ~ By Adam McPhee, disciple of Emily Dickinson


    Signs
    Driving home.
    Not paying attention to the signs.
    Stop
    But there are no cars coming.
    Roads slippery when wet.
    But the sun has evaporated all of the water
    Moose Crossing
    ??????
    a 1500lb moose wanders out onto the road,
    killing a family of four
    ~ By Kyle J, Disciple of the AT
  9. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
    The Mountain of Life & Death
    AKA
    The Ballad of He

    As he nears the top,
    One small rock,
    Causes him his footing.

    As he falls down the slope backwards,
    his fall is broken
    by the sharpest of rocks.

    He, relentless he, drags himself to a small pool of water.
    But the water is cold.
    And as he spasms sporadically,
    he, fearless he, begins to drown.

    But death shall not comfort him yet.
    He, ignorant he, is in the territory of a large, male bear.
    He, bleeding he, is dragged ashore and mauled.
    But the bear quickly grows tired of him
    And leaves he, shivering he, to die.

    He, hypothermic he, is cold,
    So a fire is built.
    He, quivering he, is spooked by a local,
    and a misplaced foot is set aflame.

    The flmae is put out,
    and morning soon arrives.
    he, intelligent he, takes out his compass
    And finds his place.
    But rabid animals are attracted to shiny objects, and he, tragic he, is mauled yet again,
    This time by a drooling, crazed racoon.

    Alas, the beast of death is destroyed,
    And he, hopeless-desperate he, lies in the sun,
    Awaiting death.
    He wished to die,
    To let thwe vultures tear apart his fless and consume his inards.

    He, bleeding he, awaits death.
    Hours pass, then days, the vultures attack.
    But he, he instinctful he, still values life and fends them off.

    Again, death is cheated.

    He, starving he, ends his death-fast by picking some berries.
    The sweet, tateless fruit are filled with enzymes,
    that are toxic to all of man kind.
    And he, hallucinating he, is poisoned.

    His quest for an antidote is on,
    And he consumes everything the
    Digestive system will handle,
    And some things it won't.
    No bark nor snake-skin will save him,
    though the poison is not fast acting.
    It will take him many months to die.

    He, ironic he, attempts to use his two-way radio,
    But the oncoming rains electocutes him,
    with burns that shall not soon heal.
    The rains from a mudslide,
    and he, ungrateful he, is carried away.

    He, lucky he, lands on a gift like highway.
    But he, unpoetic he, must be punished for
    His bad use of metaphors,
    and is rammed by an 18-wheeler,
    thrown off another cliff,
    and is once again in the unknown recesses of the wild.

    He, delusional he, still thinks he'll survive.
    A scream of Triumph and Despair is unleashed,
    And he, relentless he, causes an avalanche.

    He, defeated he, is buried alive
    He, undieng he, prays for death.

    He, relentless, ignorant, shivering, quivering, hypothermic, intelligent, hopeless, desperate, bleeding, instinctful, starving, glutoness, ironic, ungrateful, lucky, unpoetic, delusional, defeated, undieing he, is finally saved.

    But the men who save him
    Belive he's an animal,
    And tranquilizer darts are used.

    When their mistakes are realized,
    He is soon revived.
    His poisons healed,
    His wounds sealed,
    He is glad to be alive.

    Ironic, then, is this ballads end,
    As he was hit by the ambulance,
    sent for him.
    He, dead he, has died.
    Immediately.
    Painlessly.


    The moral of our story?
    Death, no matter how you see it, is the only, inevitable, end.

    ~ By Adam "Morbid" McPhee
  10. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
    Untitled

    He walks quickly,
    Trying to be on time for work.
    His only thoughts are of
    getting from point A to B.

    If only he had taken the time
    to look where he was going
    if only.

    For he slipped,
    On a banana peel, no less,
    Cracked his spine,
    Rolled onto the street,
    And was hit was hit by a bus.

    Poor old man

    [ending stanza deleted, as it probably not acceptable]
  11. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
    Scissors
    Adrenaline courses his veins.
    He is truly happy,
    because he is runing
    With scissors in hand.

    What if i trip?
    What if i impale someone?

    These questions do not exsist,
    Not in his mind.

    It is just like
    playing with fire,
    or licking a sharp knife.

    He can think of nothing
    More exciting than the present;
    Well, maybe finding a rotten corpse
    in his closet,
    Being eaten by a rat.
    But what were the odds,
    of that happening again?

    He is happy in the moment,
    running with sharp objects.
    He is happy in the moment,
    and that is all that matters.
    ~By Adam

    Francais
    Je ne c'est pas
    What i am doing.

    Soon there shall be
    But one language,
    les Anglais des Etats-Unis.

    So why
    doth i bother
    with French?

    ~By Adam

    Inspiration
    My brain slowly starts to shut down.
    I am running out of ideas.
    I am running out of time.

    I have run out of ideas
    for poetry.
    And thus i need inspiration.
    So i puncture and qound myself,
    in hopes of an idea.
    I am the Vincent van Gough
    of my time.

    They think i've lost my mind.
    I've only lost my imagination.

    Ifthey cwould give me a knife.
    Or scissors, or any sharp objects,
    i could once again reclaim,
    my pride.
    ~ by Adam
  12. Ysanne_Isard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 27, 2002
    star 5
    [face_laugh] J'adore le poem en francais! C'est tres amusant.
  13. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
  14. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
    My Valentines works:

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I am a bitter crab,
    Whenever i'm with you. :p

    _____

    You look like an orangutang,
    You smell like a goat,
    If you were my valentine,
    I would slit your thraot!
    [face_shocked]
  15. AT-ST_DRIVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2001
    star 4
    Adam's poems from the ironic/morbid collection:

    Safety
    "You should pay attention
    To driving"
    The newscaster announces.
    The driver agees.

    And it was
    When he bent over
    to turn it off,
    that he fatal accident occurs.
    By Adam

    Obedience
    "Don't talk in
    my class. ever."
    Says he, the teacher.

    So the students obeyred,
    and said teacher wasn't warned,
    about what the janitor
    slipped into his tea.
    By Adam

    Precaution
    If only he thought about it,
    Listened to what she said.
    If only he thought about it,
    His dog might not be dead.

    "Honey,
    Did you remember to turn the oven off?"
    By Adam


    Reckless Endangerment
    Chemicals within reach,
    Prescribed medicines on the counter.
    Broken glass on the floor,
    Reminds us of the beach.

    Knives on the table,
    A clutter on the floor,
    Is this house even stable,
    without the back door?

    C.D.'s playing loud,
    with the vlume way to high,
    A laser-pointer in a bedroom,
    that could burn out your eye.

    No smoke alarms,
    But suppers cooking,
    Children run about,
    For a book, they're looking.

    A baby cries,
    For its milk,
    A wonder it doesnt smother,
    Underneath her silk.

    A car, in the Driveway running
    The kids around it play,
    Not all too cunning,
    In their stupid way.

    In the bath tub,
    Unattended,
    Jimmy stays underwater,
    Like a great big sub.

    And where are the parents at,
    do you think?
    Why, they're at the neighbors,
    But they'll be back in a wink.
    By Adam M. (whose bound to become another half-assed parent, someday)

    EDIT: grammar.
  16. Izird Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2001
    star 4
    Wow, I don't think I've ever seen so much creative writing in a thread! Ever thought of a career in advertising or something? ;)
  17. Ramble_Boba Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2002
    star 5
    Adam, you are a fool sir :p
  18. Izird Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2001
    star 4
    Lol @ Rambles! [face_laugh]

    Heh, something about that just struck me really funny!
  19. Ramble_Boba Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2002
    star 5
    what can I say, I'm a funny guy :D

    or maybe not
  20. Sar-Tamber-lac Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2002
    star 5
    nah...you're just a funny guy :)

    Procrastination
    -Tammy Craig <><

    Sitting at the computer
    Wondering what to do
    The thought of all the work I have
    Just makes me want to spew

    Why to I procrastinate?
    I wonder to myself
    Wondering if I shouldn't just hang
    My academic career on the shelf

    I can tell you how it will turn out
    As history repeats its ominous circle
    I'll sit at my computer
    And beat the keys til my hands are a nice shade of purple

    And at the very last minute
    When hope is all but lost
    I'll type those last few words
    And e-mail them to a prof.

    And then comes the glorious sleep
    Not of death, but close enough
    And as I dream, I think to myself
    "Tammy, you have the magic procrastinator's touch!"
  21. Sar-Tamber-lac Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2002
    star 5
    Anyone else feel dumped by Adam recently?
  22. Daughter_of_Yubyub Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2002
    star 6
    He PMed me at some point today.
  23. Sar-Tamber-lac Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2002
    star 5
  24. Sar-Tamber-lac Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2002
    star 5
  25. Daughter_of_Yubyub Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2002
    star 6
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