Story [My Little Pony - FiM] Dice Quest (update 1/1: Teatime)

NOTE: Dice Quest is a paper-and-pencil RPG boiled down to the bare essentials and then some. It uses four specialized dice, graph paper for mapping, and some very simple rules.

The dice:

Spoiler: The Rules

1. Each character begins at Level 1 with 2 hit points.

There are four classes:

Fighter - has one extra hit point
Wizard - inflicts one extra damage point with a successful attack
Thief - can disarm traps and retrieve the treasure left behind by the last victim
Cleric - cannot be harmed by undead (e.g., in this game, skeletons and vampires)​

2. The players take turns rolling the Dungeon Die until they get a room with a monster(s) or a trap.

3. If it's a trap and the character who rolled it is a Thief, then s/he disarms the trap and rolls one Treasure Die to see what a previous victim has left behind. If the rolling character is not a Thief, then his/her hit points is decreased by one and there is no treasure.

4. If it's a room with a monster(s), the rolling character rolls the Monster Die the appropriate number of times. The monster's hit points are the same as the number on the Monster Die. If there are two monsters, the weaker one is dealt with first.

5. The players take turns rolling the Combat Die until the monster(s) is defeated or the characters are all dead. And yes, a Level 1 non-Fighter can die with one bad roll. It's that kind of game.

6. When a monster is defeated, the character who delivered the final blow gets the same amount of Experience Points as the monster's hit points. When all the monsters are defeated, the killing character gets to roll the Treasure Die as many times as the monster's hit points.

6a. A character goes up a level and gains one hit point when s/he acquires a certain level of Experience Points. This amount needed doubles with each level, and is 10XP for level 2, 30XP (10+20) for level 3, 70XP (30+40) for level 4, and so on.

7. When a character dies, his/her gold coins and items are distributed among the survivors after the battle. However, when the character is killed by a dragon, all his/her belongings are turned to ashes by its flame.

8. A character's hit points can be restored by the following methods:

Medicinal herbs - sold in the village for 20GP. Restores 2HP. Only one per character. Can't be used during combat.
Potions - heals completely. No carrying limit. Can't be used during combat.
Inns - heals completely. 5GP per character's level. Can't be used until the cave is fully explored.
Clerics - sorry, clerics in this game don't have that ability.​

9. If there are any unexplored tunnels left, go back to Step 2.

10. Good luck. Boy, are you're going to need it . . .

---

Dice Quest

They say the ponies in the arctic have hundreds of words for snow. This is not true. Overall, the arctic language has roughly the same number of word roots for frozen water as the rest of Equestria. It is just that their sentence structure allows those roots to be combined with prefixes and suffixes in more numerous ways.

It is interesting to note that arctic ponies believe that Equestrians have hundreds of words for rain. At least, that's what they say, usually after somepony asks them about their words for snow.

Rainbow Dash stared out the window, her mind filled with at least a dozen words and phrases to describe the downpour she saw. Lame was one of them. Unfair was another. It's not my fault crossed her mind several times, though as the head of Ponyville's weather team, the scheduling of rain was her responsibility. And she had signed the schedule sheet. She'd merely neglected to check it first.

"Silver Lining's gonna get it," she promised herself.

Turning her back on the foul weather, she returned to where her friends were keeping themselves occupied in Twilight Sparkle's library. Not all of them, though - Rarity was making some last-minute changes for a client, and Applejack was busy plugging holes in the roof at her farm. But Twilight Sparkle was showing Fluttershy her new illustrated guide to Equestrian fauna. Spike was cleaning out the seemingly endless bookcases with a vengeance. And Pinkie Pie was -

"Hey, where's Pinkie?"

The others looked up and glanced around. Then they cocked their ears for something - singing, perhaps, or spontaneous laughter. But there was nothing, not even the sounds of innocent destruction that heralded Pinkie Pie's merry mayhem.

"Do you think she's playing Hide and Seek and forgot to tell us?" Fluttershy asked.

"I don't think so," Twilight Sparkle replied. "There aren't many places to hide here. At least, none that aren't filled with books."

"Uh, guys?"

"What is it, Spike?"

"Over here."

It was a small alcove hidden behind a bookcase, visible only after removing all the books and a couple of shelves as well. It was just big enough for a pony to get into if she were to contort herself as Pinkie Pie had managed to do.

"Pinkie? Are you all right?"

"Of course I am! Isn't this neat?"

"Er, yes," Twilight said, her voice weak. As a friend, she had to be concerned for Pinkie Pie. As an egghead, she was probably trying to figure out just exactly how a pony could get all fours legs folded like that without dislocating them.

"I found this room, see? And there was a box inside so I had to see what was in it, but before I could do that I had to get in myself. At first I thought no way, but then I remembered the yoga exercises Rarity was teaching me and . . . ta da!"

"That's nice. But don't you think you should get out, now that you know you can fit in? Um, you can get out, right?"

"Sure! Just give me a few minutes and . . ."

In those few minutes, Rainbow Dash learned that the equine body was much more flexible than she had thought. Either that, or Pinkie Pie had rubber bones.

"Okie dokie, I'm out now! Who wants to go next?"

"NO!" the others cried out in chorus.

"You said there was a box?" Rainbow Dash asked hurriedly to distract her friend.

"Oh yes! Do you think there's treasure inside?"

It was a chest, about the size of a small suitcase. Although it was locked, the hinges were practically made of rust and opened without much trouble. Inside were several smaller boxes, all of them bound with string to keep the lids from falling off.

"Ju . . . manji," Rainbow Dash read, squinting at the faded print on one of the boxes. "Looks like a board game. Doesn't have any pieces, though."

Twilight Sparkle peered into the box. "And there's no dice, either. Pinkie, I don't suppose you have any stashed away?"

"Nope, not here. But I have a cache at Rarity's, so I'll -"

"Don't bother, Pinkie," Spike said. "I think there's some dice in this one."

He held up a red box only slightly bigger than his hand. Inside were a sheet of paper, what looked like two note pads, and four dice. Sort of. But instead of the usual dots, these had pictures instead.

Rainbow Dash frowned at the dice. "Okay, I think I get this one with monsters. And maybe the one with the coins. But what's with the other two?"

Twilight Sparkle's horn glowed with magic as she translated the unfamiliar script on the sheet of paper. "It says the dice are used in this game. There's no board or game pieces, but . . . hmm."

"Hmm what?" Rainbow Dash asked. She looked at the paper, but it wasn't written in a language she could read. "What's this game about, anyway?"

"Exploring a dungeon, I think. With monsters and traps and -"

"Treasure? Like Daring Do?"

"Um, sort of. But -"

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get started!"

Without waiting for the others to agree, Rainbow Dash picked up the dice and gave them a roll.

---

PS: Despite the Jumanji reference, this fic is not about a magical game that affects the real world. There's no plot or story or overall theme, just five friends playing a game. Now, let me see if I have the dice rolling thingy on the forums figured out . . .

 

When the dice came to a stop, they showed a box with a one in the middle and three coins. The other two were being chased by Spike and Pinkie Pie because Rainbow Dash had been too enthusiastic in her rolling.

"Sorry," she said cheerfully. "What's this mean?"

Twilight Sparkle raised an eyebrow. "If you waited for me to explain, you would know that you only needed to roll this one." She gestured at the one showing the numbered box. "This tells you what kind of room you entered. The box means it's a dead end with a monster in it."

"A monster?" Fluttershy asked. Her tone suggested that she hoped the answer was no but feared it was yes.

"It's all right, Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash said. "It's not real, just pretend."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm -" Rainbow Dash paused. The game had been found hidden in a magician's library, after all. "Uh, Twilight?"

"I don't sense any magic," Twilight Sparkle replied. "Of course, it could be that the magic is concealed. If so, we may be dealing with -"

"See? Nothing to worry about. What kind of monster?"

Twilight Sparkle gave her an annoyed look. But apparently the desire to explain overruled her irritation at being interrupted. "That's one of the other dice. Spike? Pinkie? Did you find them?"

"Got 'em right here." He set the dice down with exaggerated care, taking extra precautions to keep them safe from Pinkie Pie's hooves.

Rainbow Dash gave the monster die a flick. It landed by Fluttershy, who yelped in anticipation at something hideous appearing in a puff of black smoke. Fortunately for her, nothing did.

"See? Told you nothing would happen." The die showed a picture of a skeleton. "Heh, monkey bones. What now? The last dice?" Without waiting - again - she rolled. "And this means?"

"Congratulations," Twilight Sparkle said tonelessly. "You hit the monster once and it's been defeated. Now roll the -"

Rainbow Dash blinked. "You mean that's it? What about the traps? The treasure? The -"

Twilight Sparkle picked up one of the dice, turned it over, and set it down with a loud click in front of Rainbow Dash. "Trap." She picked up another and held it an inch from her friend's face. "Treasure. Do you mind letting me finish for once?"

"Sorry."

"As I way saying, you now roll the treasure die to see what your prize is."

She did. "Four bits. Is that a lot?"

Twilight Sparkle looked at the instructions again. "It says you can heal your wounds for five bits per level after you finished exploring all the rooms in a dungeon. Which we have. But you weren't hurt, so -"

"Another dungeon?" Rainbow Dash asked hopefully.

"Another dungeon?" Fluttershy asked, more than a hint of panic entering her voice. "With monsters and traps and things? Why do we have to explore something creepy like that?"

Rainbow Dash sighed. "It's a game, Fluttershy. You don't need a reason."

"No, wait," Spike said. "She's right. We need motivation."

"Having a cool adventure isn't enough for you?"

"Sure, but wouldn't it be awesome if there was more?"

"Like what?"

"Oh, I know! I know!" Pinkie Pie said, jumping up and down with excitement. "A mysterious cave opened up in the Everfree Forest! And monsters came out and started scaring ponies, so Princess Celestia said . . ."

---

"I was afraid something like this would happen," the Princess said with a sigh. "The forest has been . . . restless, after Discord's return. I hoped it would settle down once he was dealt with, but it seems I was too optimistic."

Her gaze took in those she had summoned: the magician Twilight Sparkle, the Royal Guards Spike and Pinkie Pie, the treasure hunter Rainbow Dash, and the . . .

"What's a cleric?" Fluttershy asked.​

​

"Um," Twilight Sparkle said, not quite understanding the concept of religion. "Someone who works under someone like Princess Celestia, I think."​

​

"Oh, you mean a clerk?"​

​

"I'm not sure, actually. But it might be."​

. . . clerk Fluttershy.

"I do not know for sure what you will find, but I am certain you will succeed."

"You can count on us, Your Highness" Rainbow Dash said. "We won't let you down."


* * * * *


Rainbow Dash prodded the pile of bones with her hoof. When they did not reassemble into a skeleton, she called out, "You can come out now. It's definitely stopped moving."

"Are you sure?" Fluttershy asked from wherever she was hiding.

"Sure I'm sure." There was something shiny in the pile. Rainbow Dash stuck in a hoof and retrieved four onw-bit coins. "Hey, look what I found!"

"That belongs to whomever that . . . that was," Twilight Sparkle said reproachfully.

"Finders keepers," Rainbow Dash retorted. "Besides, I don't think he's going to complain."

The unicorn raised a skeptical eyebrow but remained silent. It was clear she didn't approve of the treasure hunter. Still, the selection had been Princess Celestia's and so she would honor it. For now, anyway.

She glanced around the room, which was more a hole in the ground than a cave. She felt a bit of residual magic from whatever had called the skeleton into being, but that was it.

"Do you feel anything?" Spike asked.

She shook her head. "No."

"So it's one down, lots more to go. Anyone feel tired?" He looked at the others. They all shook their heads, no. Although Fluttershy looked like she wanted to leave as soon as possible . . .

"We go on, then. Twilight?"

Her brows furrowed with concentration. Her horn glowed as she focused her magical sense. Then slowly, she turned her head - or possibly, had her head turned. "That way."


* * * * *


The cave reminded Fluttershy of a rabbit hole. Only rabbits weren't eight feet tall. And the walls of their homes didn't have a strange glow that was just bright enough to see where they were going.

Pinkie Pie led the way, silently looking out for danger. It was hard to tell what was going on inside her head - Royal Guards were known for their stolid manner, after all - but insofar as the others could tell, she seemed disappointed that there were no perils to be found.

The cave leveled out after they had descended perhaps ten feet. Looking back, Fluttershy saw the Everfree Forest framed by the cave's entrance. It was a measure of her unease that she felt the forest preferable to whatever they may find. Or, her treacherous imagination whispered, whatever might find you.

Turning back, she saw they had come to a fork in the tunnel. Twilight Sparkle was peering into the darkness, trying to figure out which way to go.

"The cave's interfering with my magic," she said at last. "I can't detect anything."

"In that case, we'll use the treasure hunter's decision-making apparatus," Rainbow Dash said. She flipped a one-bit coin. "Heads or tails?"

Twilight Sparkle glared at her. Then she shrugged. "Why not? Heads."

"This way, then. Oh, and watch out for hidden traps."

"How can you, if they're hidden?"

"Well, in these caves it's usually a part of the floor. When you step on it, it gives way, sinking in a bit. And when you take your hoof off, that sets off the trap."

"Um, excuse me?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yes?"

"Would it be something like this?" With her head she indicated her hoof and the inch-deep hole it was now in.

Rainbow Dash's face turned a paler shade of sky blue. "Yes. Exactly like that. Don't move, okay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it," she whispered, moving her mouth as little as possible.

With something resembling a miniature feather duster, Rainbow Dash cleared away the dirt around the trigger. She whistled through her teeth when she saw - well, whatever it was that she saw. Fluttershy was too scared to take a look herself.

"Okay," the treasure hunter said after a while. "I wedged in some stones so the trap won't go off the moment you take your weight off of it. But it won't last long, so you need to move fast, understand?"

Fluttershy nodded, but otherwise remained immobile.

"Uh, Fluttershy? I said you could get off the trap now."

"I - I can't move. I'm too frightened!"

"Right. Right. Give me a moment to think . . ."

She took out some rope from her saddlebag and looped it around Fluttershy's body. The others took up their places behind Rainbow Dash. "On the count of three. One, two, three!"

When the dust had settled, Fluttershy found herself at the bottom of a pony pile. She had twisted an ankle, making her cry out when she tried to stand. Then she looked back at where she had been standing and the pain was replaced by the numbness of pure shock. Part of the roof had collapsed, burying anything left behind under a ton of rubble.

"Are you all right?" Rainbow Dash asked. "We can go back if you like. Get that leg looked at."

Fluttershy shook her head. Whatever had created the cave was dangerous. If left alone, there was no telling what harm it may cause. And though the creatures of the Everfree Forest scared her witless, that didn't mean she could leave them unprotected.

"No. We have to keep going."

Rainbow Dash gave her an appraising look. Then she grinned. "Right. We go on."

---

PS: I can't believe I'm only seven dice into the game. Must be the exposition.

 

I know nothing about the little ponies but I actually do remember liking them when I was a little boy. I was really little. Nice to see someone doing fan fic on them, they are cute and this story is very cute too.

 

darksideyesplease: Glad you like it. Thanks for reading!

---

They retraced their steps to the fork in the tunnels, taking extra care where they put their hooves. According to Rainbow Dash, any nearby traps probably would have been set off in a chain reaction, but it didn't hurt to be cautious.

Spike led them down the winding tunnel, her eyes and ears alert for any sign of danger. It occurred to Twilight Sparkle that this was a new experience for the Royal Guards. There was no way their training could have included exploring strange magical dungeons, after all, unless Princess Celestia had been feeling particularly whimsical when she drew up their regimen.

Which was possible, of course. The Princess was wise and powerful, but she also had an idiosyncratic sense of humor that had developed over a thousand years.

I hope this isn't an elaborate practial joke, she thought, then shook her head to clear her mind of such treasonous ideas.

She found that the others had stopped. Then she noticed the smell, which was an obstacle in its own right. If you were to take some animals, eat them raw, then throw the leftovers in the midden for years and years -

"Uh, Pinkie? About the descriptions -"

"Not creepy enough?"

"NO! I mean, no, that's not the problem. Quite the opposite, in fact. So if you could tone it down a bit?"

"Sure, okie dokie!"​

And then there was the sound, a loud reverberating noise like a tree being sawed in half. Twilight wanted to believe it was an underground waterfall. But there was no way it could be anything other than the snoring of an enormous creature. Coupled with the smell, it invoked images of things you would not want to encounter on a warm, sunny day, let alone at the bottom of a cold, dark cave where there was nowhere to run and nowhere to -

"PINKIE!!"

"Sorry, I got carried away."​

It was big. It was ugly. Fortunately, it was also fast asleep.

"What is that?" Spike whispered.

Twilight answered as softly as she could, "A troll, I think. I remember reading about them. I never thought I'd see one, though."

The troll had green, warty skin, a dirty loincloth made of who-knows-what, and a large club that looked like an uprooted tree trunk. At the moment it lay on the ground spread-eagled, but should it wake up, it was quite possible it would stand stooped to prevent braining itself on the ceiling.

"Tiptoe around it?" Fluttershy suggested.

"You know," Rainbow Dash mused, "if we took some rope and tied it up -"

"It would wake up before we were done and be pi- . . . really mad at us," Spike said. "Don't go pulling a sleeping dragon's tail, okay?"

"But we'll have to come back this way again, and I don't think we can count on it being asleep," Rainbow Dash persisted.

"Excuse me?" Fluttershy said meekly.

"I suppose you have a point," Twilight said. "But do you really think we should?"

"If we don't deal with it now, we'll have to deal with it later. And it may not be the only thing we have to deal with."

"I don't mean to intrude, but -"

"I don't see how we can do it without waking it up, though," Spike said.

"Two of us will do the legs and the other two will take the arms. Trust me, it'll be over in ten seconds flat."

"It's waking up!"

There was a grunt as the troll rose to its feet. Twilight Sparkle gained some satisfaction in seeing that yes, the monster did slouch. But that was the only positive feeling she had and it was fading rapidly.


* * * * *


Rainbow Dash launched herself at the troll without a moment's hesitation. Her head-butt to its legs didn't topple it like she hoped, but it did get its full attention. With a yell it swung the club, missing her by inches.

Time to dance, she thought. She ducked in and out of the troll's reach, taunting it and making it madder. She then turned her back and ran, knowing it wouldn't be far behind. She knew she couldn't run for long - she'd run out of breath long before the troll would. But more importantly, she'd run out of cave first.

The wall was just a few yards ahead. She risked a glance back over her shoulder and saw the troll was catching up, its long legs effortlessly closing the distance between them. When she looked forward again, the wall was just inches away from her muzzle.

Here we go!

For the first time since entering the cave she extended her wings and half-ran, half-flew up the wall. The troll tried to follow but couldn't, gravity and inertia having other ideas. It crashed into the cavern wall as Rainbow Dash flipped over it in a graceful somersault. With considerably less grace, the troll took several wobbly steps and fell on its face.

She turned to the others and grinned. "Now can we tie it up?"

Then she heard the blood-curdling roar. And the sound of something heavy swinging towards her in a deadly arc. And she had just enough time to regret taking her eyes off the troll before she met her doom.

But a split second before that happened, a pink blur shoved her out of the way. There was a sickening sound, the whack of hardened wood on flesh, as Pinkie Pie took the blow that was intended for her.

"PINKIE!" someone cried. It might have been her.

A blinding flash filled the cave as Twilight Sparkle unleashed a bolt of magic and pure fury. It struck the troll so hard it was thrown against the wall, where it rebounded and bounced several times on the floor before coming to a stop.

"Nice," Spike commented. "A bit of an overkill, maybe, but nice. Everyone okay?"

Everyone was not okay, Pinkie Pie especially. The Royal Guard lay in a heap, her face in a rictus of pain. A large swelling over her ribs marked the spot she was hit. It was possible some of them had been broken. There might even be some internal bleeding.

"I'm fine," she gasped. She was fooling nopony, perhaps not even herself.

"Sure you are," Twilight Sparkle said, her voice dripping with irony. "We're going back to Ponyville. Now."

---

PS: For anyone who may be interested, Twilight Sparkle gets 4 XP for the final blow and four rolls of the treasure dice for a total of 11 GP and one healing potion. Most of which gets spent on healing Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, of course.

 

It was amazing what modern medical magic could do. Pinkie Pie's injury, which a century ago would have required extensive surgery and six months to heal, now only took a few days to regain strength and get over her soreness. Likewise with Fluttershy, although the doctors frowned upon using magic on what would be good as new in a week or so. But Twilight Sparkle had dropped Princess Celestia's name left and right so the party of five could continue their mission.

As she had expected, the previous caves were nowhere to be found. In fact, the strange background magic of the Everfree Forest made it impossible to figure out where they had been.

"Does it matter?" Rainbow Dash asked. "I mean, we were done with those caves anyway, right?"

"I was hoping to establish a pattern," Twilight Sparkle replied. "If they formed a circle or some other geometric figure, I could have calculated where their magic originated. Then we would be able to -"

"But we can't. So why bother?"

Twilight Sparkle gave her a dirty look. Then she sighed and said, "This way. Follow me."


* * * * *


This time the tunnel immediately opened up into a large cavern. Stalactites and stalagmites had colonized the place, making it look an ancient cathedral that had gone feral. The ever-present eldritch glow, which the ponies were starting to get used to, only served to enhance the effect.

Unfortunately, this was ruined by an old tattered rug laid out in the middle of the floor. On it was a large table that would not have been out of place in the Canterlot Royal Palace. Here, it was just strange.

"Ah, guests!" a pale white pegasus with red eyes said. He might have been an albino, were it not for the fact that his mane and tail were as black as night. "I can't remember ze last time ve had guests. Come, please, you must join us for tea."

The ponies exchanged puzzled glances with each other. Who was he, and what was he doing here?

"I am called Bloodfang. Velcome to my humble abode."

"Pleased to meet you, sir," Twilight Sparkle said. With great difficulty she refrained from commenting on his name.

"Please excuse the state of disarray," he said. "Ve are . . . shall ve say, redecorating at ze moment. Igor! Set the table for six. Ve have company."

"We already ate, thanks," Rainbow Dash said. She glanced around nervously. Her instinct as a treasure hunter was screaming that something was not right. But too many things were so obviously wrong she couldn't figure out what it was.

At this time Igor appeared carrying a tray with six cups and six saucers. He was wearing an apron that had an overabundance of lace and frills. This in itself was not odd enough to warrant mention. But the fact that he was a troll definitely was.

Pinkie Pie and Spike tensed, instantly ready for a fight.

Twilight Sparkle began chanting protective magical incantations under her breath.

Rainbow Dash checked her surroundings for anything she could use against the troll.

Fluttershy responded as any pony might: she froze with fear, her open mouth quivering as it sought to form a scream.

Igor paid them no attention, laying out the chinaware with care.

Bloodfang smiled, his upper lip curling back to show two sharp fangs instead of a herbivore's teeth. "Ve mean you no harm. Please, sit. Have some tea."

The ponies exchanged bewildered looks. While life didn't follow a script, this was not the way things were supposed to go. On the other hand, this was a cave created by Discord's chaotic magic. Who was to say what was normal here?

With much reluctance and trepidation they assumed their places around the table. Igor went and returned with a teapot from which he poured steaming tea. It smelled better than a beverage served by a troll had any right to be.

"So," Twilight began, not quite sure what was expected of her, "I couldn't help noticing that, um -"

Bloodfang chuckled. "I am a vampire? Yes, I'm afraid so. And Igor here is a troll." He nodded at Igor, who shrugged apologetically. "Ah vell, none of us can help how ve're made, yes? Vat is more important is how ve choose to be."

"Yeah, sure," Rainbow Dash mumbled.

"Rainbow Dash!"

"No, no, she is qvite right. Ze ancient prejudices cannot be overcome merely because ve vish zem gone. Ve must prove by example, every day and every night, zat ve are not vat you fear us to be." He smiled, and again the fangs did absolutely nothing to put them at ease. "But you may rest assured that ve vill not attempt to drink your blood. Unless, of course -"

"Yes?"

"I probably should not mention zis, but . . . if somepony vere villing to be bitten, zen I vould be happy to oblige."

He winked. Twilight blinked, nonplussed.

Igor returned, this time with a tray laden with cookies. They couldn't help but notice that they were gingerbread ponies, which Igor had decorated with their colors. One was even in the shape of a small dragon.

Bloodfang took one and bit off the head. After taking a sip from his cup, he said, "If I may ask . . . vat brings you here? It's not often ve receive visitors."

"There's strange magic in the forest," Twilight said, carefully picking her words. "We were sent to investigate."

"Strange magic? Pardon me for saying so, but - isn't that how the Everfree Forest has alvays been?"

"Stranger, then. There have been sightings of monsters nopony has seen before. And caves where none previously existed."

Bloodfang raised an amused eyebrow. "You thought, perhaps, zat my dvelling here vas such a cave, yes?"

"The notion had occurred to us."

"And zat Igor and I vere such monsters?", he said, shaking with effort not to laugh.

"I'm sorry. It's just that -"

"You vere correct."

Bloodfang spread his wings, which were suddenly not pale white but pitch black, and instead of feathers had leathery membranes stretched out between thin, bony ribs. The glowing walls turned a dark reddish tint - the color of drying blood.

"Igor! Come, let us entertain our guests!"

---

PS: Just three dice rolls for this one: a room with two monsters, then a vampire and a troll, all rolled by Fluttershy as per the rules. The next update will begin with Fluttershy going critical on the troll, so to speak.