Saga My Name (anakins despair) -ep 3.5 from anakins P.O.V

summary-as anakin heals, he ponders on why events turned out the way they did

Disclaimer-the great flanneled one owns starwars and all its characters, not me. im just a simple girl trying to make her way in the universe.



After falling in the lava pit, the chosen one is left to his own thoughts while he begins the healing process.
Anakin, unable to escape his mind, wonders, demands to know why this path was set before him, why his destiny seems to have taken a turn?

These are his thoughts:

Obi-Wan knew the dreams meant something! He said, "Dreams pass in time"; he really just didn?t want me to reach my full potential. Had he, I would?ve realized that those dreams meant SOMEthing, I could?ve rescued my mother, whom I promised to free. Because of Obi-Wan, I wasn?t strong enough to follow through with my promise, I couldn?t live out my dream. He betrayed me, and I lost him. I lost my father figure, my guidance, my mentor. My feelings were right; Obi-Wan never wanted me, he just felt...obligated to train me. He doesn?t care about me, about my feelings, about what I need, what I have to do.

Padme?the only one who cared for me, she left, gone; at MY hands! She loved me; or at least, I thought she did. Didn?t she realize that Palpatine wanted to bring order to the republic? The senate was holding him back, just like the Jedi were muzzling me. Padme, my loyal wife, insisted that Palpatine was power-hungry, she was disappointed when the news of the grant of Palpatine?s emergency powers reached her. But she didn?t realize that if I had been stronger, if I had been acknowledged to my full potential, my mother would still be safe, and I wouldn?t soon become encased in mechanical bindings.
When Palpatine informed me that my own wife had died because of me, I was devastated to have lost the last piece of hope in my life. I was grimly satisfied (to my horror), however, to know that she now has felt what I had felt so many times. I feel like a monster. But I KNOW that I am better than that. I KNOW that I can overcome my despair?

I owe everything to Palpatine, he is the only one that has the remotest idea of what it is like to be me. He, like me was held back; yet he was finally acknowledged to his full power. I will avenge the loss of Shmi, Padme, and my father figure, Obi-Wan. I am fueled by my hatred, it boils and simmers, waiting, calling for me to use it, to reach out for its waiting hand, my ever-ready and abundant ally.
I will use any means to help Palpatine, for only he understands that I am not a monster, "I?m a PERSON?and my name is Anakin"

 

now is the time that you all would tell me what you think...*any*time now....*looks at watch* while we're young..*taps foot*...im desperate!!

 

please

 

An interesting piece.

I guess I would find it difficult to believe that Anakin would question Padmé?s love for him. She is as devoted to him as he is to her.

I was grimly satisfied (to my horror), however, to know that she now has felt what I had felt so many times. I feel like a monster.

Are you saying that Anakin killed Padmé? [face_shocked]

 

Ooooh. I?ve never played the angle that Ani blamed Obi-Wan for his mother?s death. I thought about it a couple of times but pursued other avenues just because. It is a completely believable premise, though, and you did it really well. I?ve always wondered why O-W didn?t pay more attention to Anakin?s dreams. Perhaps the average Jedi just isn?t given to psychic dreams. I have to think Yoda would have paid more attention if he?d known they were going on.

Obi-Wan never wanted me, he just felt...obligated to train me.

Another definite possibility handled well.

Very dark that he?s blaming himself for Padmé?s death at this point (and that Palpatine was the one who inspired that self-blame), but far creepier that Anakin feels an odd satisfaction about it. There is just so much resentment and no reasonable outlet for it except to become Vader.

I owe everything to Palpatine?.only he understands that I am not a monster, "I?m a PERSON?and my name is Anakin"

I especially liked that last paragraph. The quote from TPM was especially cool, tying the new Sith Lord back the idealistic boy we met on Tatooine.

Good job.

 

ARRISS, not necessarily that he killed her, but that he blamed himself for her death

REIHLA-"I especially liked that last paragraph. The quote from TPM was especially cool, tying the new Sith Lord back the idealistic boy we met on Tatooine. "
-thats what i was going for..i was attempting to portray the feeling that he gets at the redemption..that hes not a monster, and he realizes he hasnt lost all love, he still has his son..this is sortof my attempt at showing the reason he turns, and the reason he comes back is because he finds out that his reasoning for turning has been contradicted completely

 

Interesting take on things. I think there will be an element of self-blame when it comes to Padmé's fate and Anakin will find it easier to project that blame to someone else.

--MissPadme

 

I agree, the last paragraph was extremely telling. It was interesting to read a fanfic where Anakin questions Padme's love for him. The self-blame was also very well done, great job, darththunderbird.


JD.

 

thankyou, i tried to enclude the self blame, because i beleive that the selfblame (egged on by the palpster) is one of the elements that pushes anakin to the darkside