main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga My New Empire (Post-ROTS Ongoing Mega AU)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JediMindTrick000, Aug 29, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. darksideyesplease

    darksideyesplease Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2005
    outstanding post, very interesting, i'm still reading
     
  2. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    So Vader is starting to think about someone other than himself...Perhaps there's still hope for him. I just know Palpatine has something up his sleeve for Luke and Leia.

    Loved his reaction to begin asked about Padme...

    But the ring around the rosie thing...that was just [face_devil]. It send chills down my spine.

    Great job!

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  3. GrandAdmiralV

    GrandAdmiralV Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 30, 2005
    Really interesting combination of some EU characters with this AU you're spinning! :)

    (Although isn't Daala a redhead? I always thought Marcia Cross would make a perfect Daala!)

    Insidious plot to wipe out Force-sensitives across the galaxy -- I like it!

    You're building up lots of twisties here -- I'm interested to see what comes next. Great job! :D
     
  4. Star_Drifter

    Star_Drifter Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Very nice update! =D=

    Moonglow fruit is both irrisistable and deadly, just like the Imperial Palace... [face_thinking] Something that you can't refuse...

    Thanks for the "handy, dandy" PM, and please keep them coming! [face_batting]
     
  5. Galactic_Girl

    Galactic_Girl Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 19, 2005
    I have a headache at the moment and feel like mac truck has run me over or someone has taken a hammer to my brain,[face_beatup] so please excuse me if I don't leave too big a reply...

    Thank you for the PM. Please keep them coming my way. :) I really liked all the mingling between the policians; scenes like that I can just vividly imagine in my head as clear as day, even with a spliting headache.

    Bravo, A job well done. =D=
     
  6. JediMindTrick000

    JediMindTrick000 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2004
    First of all, thank you all for continuing to read this story - it means more to me than you know. Now, for those of you also reading the sequel to "My New Empire," Chapter 3 of "Reborn" is ready for your reading enjoyment, and PMs will be sent out later tonight or tomorrow. And now, onto the "thank you's"!!!

    Amidala66: Thanks for your comments! I'm not sure when that little song hit me, but when it did, I just had to use it. And yes, Luke and Leia are indeed in for a wild ride.

    RevaDurron: Thanks, and it's up now! =) Enjoy!

    whiskers: Yeah, the Inquisition would probably be putting it lightly knowing Palps, and the chills are a great compliment...always an accomplishment for a Sith like myself. :cool:

    Kitten: Thank you, and I doubt it. ;)

    Ladynaye: Thanks! They're some of my favs, so I couldn't wait to throw them in the mix.

    oqidaun: A Mas Amedda fan? Honestly, I didn't know they existed, but I'm glad that I've made ya happy! =) And thank you so much for the compliments - that means a lot coming from you!

    FelsGoddess: Thanks! And thank you for continuing to read this story!

    widow_skywalker: I'm glad you liked the comparison - I like to throw those in from time to time. And I think he was too, but I'm not too sure. =) And Reborn is ready for ya!

    Ani-maniac: Thanks! Vader choking George Lucas was an image I just couldn't resist. Thanks for reading! =)

    Chewie_Fan: Now let's not go judging Vader just yet. You never know what makes a Sith smile. =) But I'm glad you enjoyed the inclusion of Daala and Isard. Thanks!

    Uldir_Fenn: My thoughts exactly! The fact that such a terrible tragedy turns into basically a lullaby makes it all the more eerie. Thanks for your comments!

    Farra_Sti: Thanks! More to come soon enough!

    Pokey: Why thank you. :cool:

    jpauln: Thanks for the comments and thanks for the idea! Now just forget you ever said it so it can seem original. =)

    callmesweet16: Thanks! And I doubt it - she's too nice...I think.

    penguininpink: I'm glad you liked the analogy. I probably overuse them, but I think they're a perfect way of describing something much more complex in a very simple way. And glad ya liked the rhyme, I think it worked pretty well in there. Thanks!

    Master_Jedi_Singh: Thank you very much, and I'll definitely keep you updated on future chapters!

    darksideyesplease: I'm very pleased you enjoyed that chapter, and thank you so much for your continuing support for MNE.

    Kelia: Thank you so much for your kind words. We always knew Ani could never go "all the way" Dark Side, so that should make for some interesting plot twists in the future. And like I said, I couldn't pass up the chance to make Vader have Lucas spit up some wine. Thanks for reading!

    GrandAdmiralV: I'm glad you like the additions of the EU characters. I think they're almost essential to telling a fun SW story. And like I said in your thread, I think we can settle on chestnut. =) I'm glad you like like Palpy's scheming, and I have so many plot twisties brewing right now, I think I'm gonna hafta start writing them down to keep them straight. (No, I definitely don't write things out like a good little writer. I'd much rather shoot from the hip and see what happens.=) Thank you so much for reading!

    Star_Drifter: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the moonglow...not literally of course, but it definitely represents Imperial Center very well. And I'll definitely keep those PMs a-comin'!

    Galactic_Girl: Sorry bout the headache! I certainly hope it's better by now! And I'm very happy you enjoyed this scene. I've actually been dying to write it, and I think it turned out very well (although never as good as you want, right?=) Thank you so much for the comments!

    And now...my fingers are numb. =)

    Thank you all for readin'n'replyin! N
     
  7. masterjedi343

    masterjedi343 Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 26, 2005
    Death to all the Traitors,
    A Fire in the Temple,
    Sabers, Sabers,
    They all Fall Down!

    Vader cringed as the kids all pretended to take a lightsaber blow directly to the gut and fell on their sides. The children broke into a hysterical laughter, got back up, and started to sing once more.



    this was a awesome scene =D= very well done
     
  8. amidalachick

    amidalachick FFoF Hostess Extraordinaire star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    I loved this chapter! Especially the fruit analogy, and the song, and Vader's reaction to the song.

    And yeah, what could Palpy have planned for Luke and Leia? [face_worried]

    Anyways, excellent update! And thanks for the PM! :)

     
  9. JediMindTrick000

    JediMindTrick000 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2004
    Well folks, that time has come again...

    Sadly, as work on the boat will start to pick up in preparation for leaving at the end of the year, I will not have time to continue this and my other stories for a few months.

    In the meantime, before I leave, I will try to come on here and read as much as possible, and I have decided that this break is exactly what I need to improve my writing skills. I have felt much of the stuff I have put out lately has not been "up to par" and I really can't stand that feeling. So, in the spare time I will have, instead of writing crap, I will be studying more closely the technical aspects of writing, so that my future work will be that much better.

    I do look forward to writing again, and I do apologize for leaving you guys "high and dry" for the moment.

    I wish everybody the best for their fanfic endeavors, and as always my friends, MTFBWY.

    -- Brad
     
  10. oqidaun

    oqidaun Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    :_| nooooooooooooooooo-llercoaster.
    Your writing remains above par by my standards.
     
  11. widow_skywalker

    widow_skywalker Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Arggh! Why is everyone going on hiatus or leaving????:_|

    I will have to get that new chapter up of Padme's diary so you can see your cameo.
    As for leaving us high and dry? nahhh. It happens, especially with RL getting in the way for all of us(that's why I didn't de-lurk and join the boards earlier). Good luck and know that this reader will be waiting patiently!
     
  12. Ladynaye

    Ladynaye Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2005
    Well when you get back, I will love a PM from you!! @};-
     
  13. sithrules70

    sithrules70 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 28, 2005
    finnaly i can review this story again,something had happened to that damn browser of mine but i couldnt see this story or reborn.now i can[face_dancing]
     
  14. Star_Drifter

    Star_Drifter Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2005
    It is hard having to leave with one youngling, and another on the way, too! :(

    Let us know when you leave so that we can pray for the Lord's protection over you, and your ship, and your family.

    God bless you! [:D]

     
  15. Amidala66

    Amidala66 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 2005
    JMT,

    I am so sad that you are leaving.:_| I didn't think that your writing was sub par but we are often our own worst critics aren't we?

    I wish you the best of luck in the future. I am assuming that you are in the military, ship etc. If so, let me thank you for your service to our country. May you return safely.

    Amidala66
     
  16. Peagis

    Peagis Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2005
    Good post IS the goodness of anakin returning with his reviling of the Ring around the Rosies rendition???
     
  17. JediMindTrick000

    JediMindTrick000 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2004
    Another chapter? Finally?? YUP!!!

    To save myself from sporting a stylish straightjacket due to writing withdrawl, I have decided to spend my free time tonight to writing an update to MNE because well, I miss writing it quite frankly.

    Free time is pretty much nonexistent these days, but if I do have time this week, I will try to update Reborn and Soldier of Fortune as well, but no guarantees sadly.

    I'm having fun writing Chapter 12 right now, so it should be up later tonight, and don't worry, I'll provide a little recap since I had to go back and reread what's happened too!

    Thanks guys, hope you enjoy.

    -- JMT
     
  18. JediMindTrick000

    JediMindTrick000 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2004
    Chapter 12

    The isolation was eating at his soul from the inside. When he was a Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi rather enjoyed solitude, for it gave him the opportunity to think, to ponder, to dream. But now he cursed it for the very same reasons.

    He had become a Sith, or that was his ruse at least, but at what point does a lie become the truth? He had studied the holocrons, he had listened to his teachers, and of course, there was always Master Yoda?s teaching about starting down the Dark Path?

    But this was completely different, or so he hoped. And prayed. And prayed. And prayed. If he had not pretended to become Vader?s apprentice, he would have surely been vanquished, and then what hope would there be for the universe? Master Yoda could not do it alone, if he was even still alive.

    His own actions made him sick to his stomach. The thought alone of merely pretending to be a Sith Lord would have been incomprehensible only months ago, but now he was getting good at it?maybe too good.

    Forgive me, Ferus.

    The twin suns beat down on the sands of Tatooine with such a vengeful zeal, stepping foot outside one?s home would be a sure sign of madness. Benn ? who cringed at his new moniker but was regretfully getting used to it ? could not believe he actually listened to Vader?s orders and exiled himself to this desolate godforsaken planet.

    ?Go to the planet Tatooine and await further instruction. I will contact you when the time is right.? Those were the words Vader had used on Bellassa, and that was the last time he had heard from his Master. Was his own former padawan just toying with him? Did he even intend to contact him? Or was that just a way to take him out of the equation?

    He shouldn?t be here. He should be on Coruscant. He had left Padme and the twins alone with those demons, and Force only knows what harm had come to them already, and what Palpatine had in store for the Skywalker family. For all he knew, their Sith training had already begun.

    Forgive me, Padme.

    Yet worst of all, he knew that through his recent actions, he had made Vader?s accusations all true. He was a failure. A complete, utter, undeniable failure. His own arrogance had blinded him into thinking the Jedi Order was unbreakable, that he and his fellow Jedi were invincible, that Anakin was actually the Chosen One.

    He had but one mission in life. As his own Master died in his arms on Naboo, he promised that he would train Anakin Skywalker to be the Chosen One, so that he might one day destroy the Sith and bring the balance to the Force.

    He had but one mission in life, and he failed.

    Forgive me, Qui-Gon.

    ?Do not ask for my forgiveness, Obi-Wan, for it is your own soul that was bartered for nothing in return.?

    The chills rain down Benn?s spine, and the goose bumps extended to every fingertip.

    ?Master!? he cried out as he jumped up from his meditative position and began frantically searching his humble dwellings for his deceased Master. The sweat poured from every gland on his body, and his heart raced, not out of excitement, but out of sheer morbid dread.

    If Qui-Gon could talk to him, he could also see him, and that means he had to know what his apprentice had done.

    ?Why such surprise, Obi-Wan? For one with such faith in the Force, you of all people should know immortality is rightly the final destination of all Jedi.?

    There was a time when Obi-Wan would have given the clothes off his back to hear Qui-Gon?s voice just one more time, but now it haunted him. Qui-Gon was torturing him in a way only he would know how.

    ?Master, please! You must understand!? Obi-Wan screamed as he paced back and forth, constantly turning around and running into his very few home furnishings, hoping desperately to find the source of Qui-Gon?s voice.

    ?What must I understand, Obi-Wan? I should think a padawan would be much more excited to see his master return from the netherworld, especially when there is no one else to keep you company in such a horrendous place.?

    ?It?s not
     
  19. Amidala66

    Amidala66 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 2005
    Poor Obi Wan:_|

    That must have been really hard for him to hear from Qui Gon.

    I am glad that you updated this story. It will be interesting to see how Darth Benn acts after his visit from Qui Gon.
     
  20. Yodan

    Yodan Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 21, 2005
    :_| Well that's a shame for Poor Obi-Wan. He really did make some bad decisions....

    Any hope at redemption? [face_batting]

    Glad your back!
     
  21. Ladynaye

    Ladynaye Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2005
    Bah, screw Qui-Gon Jinn!! [face_frustrated]

    Obi should be proud to be a Sith!!
     
  22. widow_skywalker

    widow_skywalker Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2005
    JMT You are BACK!! (Sithly happy dance!!!)

    Obi (or Benn, as he likes to be called) received a rude wake up call from his Master, the ever wise Qui gon! The light saber in air was amazing, and the line about being replaced sent shivers up my spine!

    Triumphant return!!!
     
  23. Ani-maniac

    Ani-maniac Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Hmmm... was that actually Qui-Gon, or Obi-Wan's battered mind? [face_thinking] Or, was that one of Sidious' tricks if he is somehow aware that Obi-Wan is still alive? Or was it Anakin's doing... :D :D :D

    Oh, so many possiblities!

    Great post JTM!

    Ani-maniac
     
  24. Darth-Buddy

    Darth-Buddy Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 18, 2005
    [face_praying] Is it me or is Anakin developing a little bit of a conscience? I hope he does and he and Obi takes out the Emperor. I really like your story, it is well done.
     
  25. jpauln

    jpauln Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 3, 2005
    Qui-Gon's reaction was warranted, though I think he could have been a little more understanding towards Obi's actions. Too much was at stake for him to have just done nothing. But he's right... how far over the line is too far. It's good to see that at least he's regretting his actions. I won't give up on Master Kenobi just yet.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.