My review of Nemesis *SPOILERS*

This is my review, as written to a friend of mine via e-mail. I'll repost it here, but I'm gonna leave it as I wrote it to him. I'll try to edit out any cussing. If I miss a few, let me know.

I couldn't disagree with you more. In fact, I'd have to say the only Trek film worse than this one would have to be Star Trek V : The Shatner Follies. Here's my play by play (and reactions to your comments).

-The Romulan Senate: first off, this is supposed to be a Star Empire. Why is the leading body for this *STAR EMPIRE* 12 guys in a little room? And why when some weird green thing shoots to the ceiling, do they all stare slack-jawed? Romulans are supposed to be used to subterfuge and the like. I think it would have been more appropriate to see them all rushing the doors out of the room as soon as the stupid little Whackadoo radiation emitter started opening. And could the movie have opened on a more boring scene? Only if they started it in the Nexus.

-The wedding: Haven't we heard all these jokes before? I couldn't manage to laugh at any of them. The scenes of the crew going to the banquet in Insurrection were considerably funnier. We all know Guinan is really old, so her joke about 20 some marriages is pointless. Romulan ale? Again? Sweet Jesus do these people drink anything else? And is it just me, or is Worf now nothing more than a walking punch-line. I don't think he's been given a serious line of dialogue since First Contact. And, as Aaron put it after we saw the movie; "So, now Worf has not only had his ass kicked by every villain on the show, but he's had it promptly kicked by a Romulan beverage".

-B4: Don't even get me started on the whole thing where they find him. So, first off Picard is now a subscriber to mini-trucker magazine and enjoys off-roading with the hillbilliest of 'em. Then they start finding random pieces of B4 scattered through the desert. And this seems kosher to them? Picard mutters at one point that it doesn't feel right, but that's the only indication we get that there is something weird about finding android pieces littered about a planet. What the hell were they thinking? That he was wandering through the desert and exploded? So, the finally get all the pieces of the unfortunately named B4 together and then start the wholesale slaughter of a pre-warp civilization. Perhaps a little more eye on the sensor and less dune-buggying might have prevented the need to kill a bunch of aliens whose planet (if I remember my Trek mythos correctly) they're not even supposed to be on. So, they get the mildly-retarded Data to the ship and decide to assemble him. Only to find later he's a plant by Shinzon. Good thing Shinzon just happened to run across another Soong android - sure there were only 3 of them in the galaxy up to this point, but I'm sure he could find another one and use it just for this purpose. That crazy Soong, dropping androids all over the place... So, anyway, Data "dies" later, but since they've already got Data 2 on deck with all of Data's memory engrams downloaded into him, I can't help but feel... NOTHING. I think they turned off my emotion chip.

-Janeway is an Admiral: Need I say more? <retch>

-Shinzon: Why? Why did this have to be? A clone of Picard with Temporal RNA. Yeah, that was needed so we would know why he wanted to get Picard alive so badly. Couldn't have just made him a good villain and maniacally obsessed with destroying his double. Nope, we need a good technobabble reason to have him following Picard around before he blows up Earth (or shrivels it up or whatever the **** his dumb-ass plan was). So, if the Romulans abandoned their plan to replace Picard, why did they dump the kid in a mine - why not just kill him and erase any evidence of their plan? I know the idea behind the mine dump was to kill him, but why not go with the direct vaporization approach? And why would the Remans elevate him to their great exalted leader type? I just don't see it. Ron Perleman had some super psychic powers and apparently healing powers, w

 

...Ron Perlman is in it...


*just starts giggling*


M

 

Does this look familiar?

[image=http://www.knives-knives.com/images/uc1169.jpg]

Hibben Knives model UC-1169: The Jackal.

 

All I have to really add to that is the following:

A) The Romulan Senate exterior shot: Why did they build a structure that looks like the JD Power award?

B) Is it just me, or did the space where Data carried the little transporter chip look big enough to have two chips in it? Or, why the hell wasn't Picard carrying his own?

C) Like Jeff, I just didn't understand why the hell Feng Sui hated Earth. Maybe his shoulder pads were whispering evil thoughts to him.

D) When going to your peace conference, if you're an evil guy, don't wear the cover outfit from the Evil-Guy Monthly catalog. It's just a bit of a tip off.

E) Put blast doors on the Enterprise, that way when evil folks are running through, you can lock the doors.

G) The Scorpion fighter looked like a shoe horn.

H) I think the writer played a lot of Halo, then watched all the Star Wars films, took an idiot pill and wrote this. Halo: The dune buggy gunning scene. Star Wars: Guy gets chucked down big blue tube, the whole "You can be good, I know it," clones and even the Romulan shots reminded me of Coruscant. All we needed was a hand cut.

I) The Reemans looked really goofy. Did they hire the make up people from Wing Commander?

But, I am looking forward to "The Core." The drama of it all!

Dwayne

 

[image=http://www.arrakis.es/~benitogato/zrodflanders.GIF]

"Ow, my frickin' ears!"

 

I'm just curious, but is it common practice around here for mod actions to be so delayed? It sure seems so.

 

Well, I think asking a mod directly would get you an answer a tad bit faster than wondering aloud at the bottom of a Trek thread...but in this particular case, Rox did a curse word search and found an f-bomb that apparently was previously missed.