Beyond - Legends My Son and His. Post LoTF. Repost from FF.N. Han S./ Ben S.

Title: My Son and His
Author(s): Blackfish/ Fettkat
Timeframe: Post-LoTF
Characters: Han S./ Ben S.
Genre: Angst/ Family
Summary: Han helps Ben through one of the toughest times in his young life.
Notes: Another of my old fics from FF.N. This was written when I found, much to my shock, that there are barely any Han/Ben fics around! I LOVE writing this combo, so there will be more fics with this pairing from me.



Han Solo entered the hangar bay without quite knowing why. He had a feeling he was needed on the
Falcon at that precise moment. He rubbed his forehead. If he didn’t know better, he’d have to say some of those blasted Jedi Force skills were rubbing off on him.

He stepped onboard the Millenium Falcon warily. He still didn’t know what had brought him here. He stopped, wondering which way to go. Impulsively, he turned around and headed for the few private cabins below-decks. As he approached, he saw one of the cabins was occupied. A faint sliver of light shone through a door that had been left partially ajar. From out of nowhere, he suddenly heard a sniff and the sounds of it being hurriedly stifled. His hand had unconsciously reached for his blaster slung at his hip. He reached the door and cautiously peeped in. Then he touched a panel and it slid open altogether.

Ben Skywalker didn’t even look up at the approach of his uncle. Doubtless he must have sensed him coming, but it had elicited no reaction from him. Let him come if he wanted to. Han was non-plussed.
“Ben?” he asked, “What are you doing here?”
The question was a little lame. It was very obvious what Ben had been doing there. He had been crying.

Ben was curled up on the cold metal floor of the cabin, tightly hugging his knees to his chest, trying to squeeze his head in between to muffle his sobs. Han could see the still wet trail of tears down the boy’s cheeks and felt a deep ache inside.

“I come here sometimes”, Ben said softly, not bothering to wipe his face. “I hope you don’t mind…”

Han felt an urge to take the boy in his arms and comfort him. When Mara had died, people’s concern had instinctively turned to Luke first. Only then had they thought about Ben. He walked over to the bunk in the cabin and sat on it.

“This is your ship too, Ben. You come here whenever you want, ok?”

Ben nodded, then buried his head between his knees again.

Han called to him softly, “Ben, come here.” He patted the bunk beside him.

Ben looked up and Han was shocked to see the naked vulnerability in his eyes. He had never seen him like this before. He’d been flying on skin-of-the-teeth missions with him ever since he was tall enough to reach his uncle’s waist. He could never forget the mischief he’d often noticed in his young nephew’s eyes, the glint so reminiscent of his father at a much younger age. Ben had even adopted the Solo trademark lop-sided grin from his uncle. Han had been a second father to him, the kind the Grand Master of the Jedi could not have been. The two had forged a deep and loving bond and that perhaps made Han wince a little with guilt. For the person who had ravaged this previously loving and lovable child had been none other than his own son, Jacen.


When they had come to learn the truth about Mara’s murderer and Jacen’s complete fall to the Dark Side, Han had secretly worried about the effect this would have upon the relations between the Skywalker and Solo families, tied together not only by marriage, but by blood. His children were Skywalkers by blood, even though they did bear his last name. And this child he had loved so dearly, no still loved so dearly, had had his life, his family, destroyed by one bearing his name.
No. Not my name. Not my Jacen. Darth Caedus.

He had been mortally afraid that Luke and especially Ben would hate him and Jaina and maybe even Leia for what their son and brother had wrought upon them. He hadn’t believed he could have borne being hated by his only nephew. But they hadn’t. They had accepted their comfort and their sharing of their sorrow and Han had alternatively felt guilty. After all it had been his son…

Ben stood up obediently and came to sit beside his uncle on the hard cabin bunk, now no longer able to meet his eyes. His shoulders were slumped, his face bleary and haggard, his hair completely unkempt. He was a picture of dejection and defeat. He was also a child, Han thought fiercely. Just a fourteen-year old boy who had just lost his beloved mother. He hadn’t deserved this. He was a good kid, he hadn’t deserved any of this!

Han tentatively wrapped a comforting arm around Ben’s waist. He knew how much Ben hated being coddled. To his surprise, though, Ben leaned in closer, resting his weary head on his shoulder. Han pulled him into the hug he so sorely needed. His nephew didn’t stir. Just let him hold him, his shoulders still heaving from time to time.

“I… I just-just wish I could’ve had a little more time with her…, ya know?”


The voice came out muffled from his shoulder.
“ I… I wish I could’ve said… that I could’ve told her…”

Han could feel the dampness seeping through his shirt. But he didn’t ease his grip on the boy.

“It’s the one thing I wish… Everyday.”

Han looked down on Ben’s red-gold head.
“Ben, what about… where’s Luke?”

Ben remained quiet for a while. When he answered, his voice was even quieter.
“Dad’s…Dad’s … broken, Uncle Han.”

The pain in the youngster’s voice brought a lump into the older man’s throat. He had to furiously blink back his own tears. He only held him closer.

“I don’t know what to do, Uncle Han. It ki-kills me to see him like this. That’s-that’s why I come here…”

“Listen kid. You’re gonna do yourself and your Dad a big favour, ok? Get yourself home. I’ll bring around your Aunt Leia. She’ll take care of him. He doesn’t realize how much he needs us. Foolish kid never did. You’re gonna open the door when I call, ok?”

Ben looked up at his uncle and for the first time, Han saw a faint glimmer underneath the pools of sorrow clouding his blue-grey eyes.
“You-you know he told me he doesn’t want to meet anyone right now…”

“Well, you can tell him exactly how much bantha poodoo I think that is! Think you can do that?”

The ghost of a smile.

“Ok then. You run along home then, kid. Watch out for my call.”

Ben stood up and turned to go, but not before flashing Han the briefest of smiles to show him how grateful he was.

Han clutched his shoulder in support and smiled back. But it dimmed as he watched the boy leave. There were a lot of amends to be made…


THE END

 

Great story