Saga My Son is Dead (Post TPM, Angst, Count Dooku) - First Draft

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by QUI_GON_QUINN, May 15, 2003.

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  1. QUI_GON_QUINN Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2003
    star 2
    Title: My Son is Dead
    Author: QUI_GON_QUINN

    Summary: Set straight after the events of TPM this is a short missing scene with Dooku dealing with Qui-Gon's death.

    Main Characters: Count Dooku

    Other Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Yoda

    Disclaimer: These characters belong in total to George Lucas.

    Other: This is my first attempt at fanfic (hence the reason that most of you will never have heard of me) and it is a first draft so please let me know what you think (good or bad!)
    *******************************************

    My son is dead.

    The man stood on a balcony overlooking the majesty of the Coruscant skyline. It was a cold night with winds whipping between the buildings and washing over the Jedi Temple. The man wrapped his cloak tight around him and stared off to the horizon.

    My son is dead.

    The words floated around his mind yet refused to connect. Even when looking at old holo?s of the pair of them together he was unable to make an emotional connection to the news. After so long spent together, all the good times that they had shared, the man could not understand why he was unable to grieve.

    He?d returned from a diplomatic mission to Sullust, helping to settle a dispute between two factions that seemed determined to wipe each other out. He reflected that this seemed to be a more common occurrence in these times. A Jedi seemed to spend more time as an ambassador for the Senate than a keeper of the peace. More time as a diplomat than a warrior.

    He successfully negotiated a settlement, another great victory for a man whose career as a Jedi seemed to be full of them. On his return to Coruscant he found things had changed a great deal.

    In the time since he left, a new Chancellor had been appointed amid great promises of an end to corruption. The man had laughed when he heard that. So many Chancellors seemed to spend their days trying to convince the people that they could remove corruption from a system that by its very nature was corrupt to the core. It was the last laughter that the man could remember.

    Another thing had changed whilst he was away. He felt it upon taking his first steps into the Temple on his return. For the first time in his 70 years in the order fear swept through the Jedi. Whispered conversations took place in the corridors and even the lowliest Padawan seemed to have a nervousness about them that was unknown previously. The council locked itself in its tower refusing to come out as they deliberated the very real threat that had been discovered.

    The Sith have returned. They have killed my son.

    Of course, he was not really his son. Following Jedi tradition he had selected a Padawan to be trained. It had been some 30 standard years since he had taken on his last apprentice. One look at the slightly gangly youth who had an air of mischief about him was all the man needed to know that he would train him to be one of the greatest Jedi the order had seen.

    And in true Jedi tradition, the Master/Padawan relationship that formed between them had more in common with a father and son than a teacher and pupil. They had grown to love each other, as much as a Jedi dared.

    And they killed him.

    He?d barely been in his own quarters for more than a few minutes when a message came through requesting his presence in the council chambers.

    The sad faces that greeted him on his arrival told him something was wrong before they even had a chance to say it. As he stood there, looking upon his wizened old master and hearing the words he said, the man?s heart broke.

    My son is dead.

    A mighty battle had taken place on some insignificant planet in the Outer Rim. The first Jedi/Sith duel in almost a millennia. Certainly his own master, one of the oldest of the living Jedi, could not remember a duel like it within his lifetime.

    The man?s head filled with images of how his son would have fought. His son was not a great warrior yet what he lacked in style he made up for in control. The man had offered
  2. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Hi QGQ!! :D A first attemnpt at fanfic??? I must say I'm quite impressed. The emotions conveyed were really well done... they could be readily felt, yet Count Dooku seemed to keep them close inside, which is just how I see him. His inability for the words My son is dead to connect at the beginning of the post and the way they rose to his mind throughout the post was superb. I enjoyed his views on all what had changed while he'd been away on a mission.. especially his laugh at the new Chancellor promise to fight corruption!! A delightful missing scene.

    NOw you did ask for good and bad... not that there's anything bad at all with what you've done. I'll merely point out two things that struck me as being inconsistant with what I'm familiar with in the SW world. One is that Count Dooku is suppose to hundreds of years old... around three hundred I believe. Secondly, is that Qui-Gon Jinn... according to the novelization of TPM, is regarded as a great Jedi Warrior... one of the best swordmasters in his lifetime. Of course if this story is AU at all these comments should be disregarded. :D :D

    I hope to see more from you... perhaps something on the order of more Dooku??? Maybe even stories dealing with Qui-GOn's apprenticeship??? Qui-Gon Jinn is my fave SW character so I just have to ask and encourage more fanfic with him!! :D :D
  3. QUI_GON_QUINN Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2003
    star 2
    Thanks for that Healer_Leona - yes, it is my first attempt at fanfic although I'm not wanting it to be my last!

    The two points you made:

    Wasn't too sure about Dooku's age so I just used Christopher Lee's as a guideline! Something I can sort out though.

    Also, completely forgot about the descriptions of Qui-Gon's skills in the novelisation of TPM - its another thing I can sort out though.

    I've got an idea in my head of possibly writing a series of shorts with snapshots of Dooku's life (love the character and want to try and explore it further) and this seemed a logical place to start!

    Thanks again for the comments - much appreciated!!!
  4. Valiowk Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2000
    star 6
    I'll assume that this is AU. It's well done, with the angst portrayed clearly and I was able to feel it well. It's an interesting perspective, and the usage of the term "my son" to apply to Qui-Gon, who himself could be viewed as Obi-Wan's "father", is really thought-provoking.
  5. diamond_pony2002 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2002
    star 4
    This was amazing! You know, I don't really like Qui-Gon, or Dooku for that matter, but you portrayed his feelings and actions perfectly. I'm sure that if they put a scene with Dooku in, that is EXACTLY how it would be! Congratulations!
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