My thread and it's random musings

I'm starting this thread so we can discuss me. I'm a great topic. For the future, I'll try to post all the little ideas that pass through my tiny brain here. First off, here's who I am:

repost of personal essay

Well hello there and thanks for reading, dear reader. My name is, quite simply, John Watson. It's a very common name. My name has been adorned on the liner notes of Silverchair's first album, a photographer, a Douglas Adam's character, and a Cherokee Indian chief (whom I'm actually related to). But I guess I shouldn't write about my name, I should write about me.

I'm 28, and part of the "working class", although calling what I do working is a stretch. I'm a pretty positive minded person, so I won't go into any depressing facets of my life, I'll just say that at this point in life, I'm reaping the benefits of paying my debts in childhood.

That said, I'm pretty much living the childhood I always wanted now. I'm a total 12 year old. I love toys. Especially with all the toys I always wanted as a kid being re-released now (Transformers, He-man, Star Wars) I'm a toy addict. If you've ever visited the website x-entertainment.com, you'll see someone with the exact same nostalgic fever. The '30 minute commercials' I was exposed to as a kid by watching all those shows were highly effective, considering I still want the toys 20 years later. But I guess there are a lot of us out there, at least on the internet.

As for other hobbies, I do a lot of things: paint, write fiction, write poetry, car mechanics, arcade game repair, sing, video game playing, house repair. I'm a tinkerer I guess. I'm not fantastic at any one thing, as I seem to spread myself thin by always being interested in many things at once. I'm a bit flighty and tangential because of that.

Socially, I've come to realize how anti-social I am recently. I don't hate individuals, I just hate people. I hate crowds, and mass opinions. In any given situation, I'll always be the oddball. I'm sure it's the fact that I'm so used to not fitting in, I try purposely to not fit in now, as it's a role I'm used to. I am married though. Why a woman would want to be around me a bunch is beyond me, but she's a great friend, and very understanding. And very patient.

As for a picture, I may be able to get one up later. I don't have many pictures of myself, because I find it odd to have a picture of myself, plus I don't like to look at myself in photos. I'm not horribly disfigured or anything, I'm just not my biggest fan.

Well, if you've read through all that, congradulations. Maybe you've learned something about me. Maybe I haven't said enough. Either way, it's amazing I typed all that without one fart joke.

 

Now that that is done (don't you hate it when you can't think of a better way to word something than putting two of the same word side-by-side?), let's get down to business.

Have you ever had one of those 'Capri-Sun' beverages? They are in a little pouch and filled with juicy goodness. Why aren't more beverages put into these types of pouches? They're collapsable, and would cause less litter (if some vile person were to litter) since they're flat and all. They would take up less garbage space, and would still be recycleable.

At public outings, it would be much safer to but beer or other beverages in a little pouch than in glass.

The only major drawback I can think of would be those damned lame straws that can't puncture the pouch half the time.

I bet if there were still Indians living in tepees nowadays, they'd use the pouch beverage.

 

Those Capri Suns are darn good. Unfortunately, the straws, as you said, well, suck. But, if you think about it, that's kind of good. Because a straw that doesn't suck is just a stinky straw.

 

Not one fart joke!

Very interesting John. Good to know more about you. I agree about being anti-social. I really have to work at being around others as I'd much more like to stay at home with my hubby than go out in to that "real world" place.

I have to agree that Capri Sun's are a delightful and refreshing beverage.

 

I understand about the antisocial bit, also, man. I'm that way myself. Especially as of late.



~ James

 

Hiya, John.

About those Capri Sun beverages, where the straw hole should go, they should make a small plastic nozzle with a cap.

 

I agree with you on the stupid straws that can't puncture the pouch - I used to always get red liquid all over myself because of those things.

And it's good to meet another Jack-of-all-trades! I dabble in just about everything, because it's fun and because it's there.

Jae Angel

 

Here's the list of jobs I've held down, I've had more than most 60 year olds:

construction
bagging groceries
grocery check-out
pizza delivery
window washer
Blockbuster video cadet
music store guy
T-shirt store guy
Toy store guy
environmental research for mine tailing reclamation
warehouse receiving
warehouse returns
telemarketing (2 days)
selling pens door-to-door (1 day)
computer help desk
computer instructor
computer systems administrator

*whew*

I'm thinking when I get laid off of this job (because it will probably happen one day), I may go to culinary school and work on becoming a chef. I've discovered a love to cook within myself recently.

 

The only major drawback I can think of would be those damned lame straws that can't puncture the pouch half the time.

Easy solution: practice on babies.

 

The '30 minute commercials' I was exposed to as a kid by watching all those shows were highly effective, considering I still want the toys 20 years later.

Heh, somehow I had guessed that, Watson. But then again we met before.



Have a sweet time!

 

Toy store guy? I bet you got some nice discounts!

 

Working late sucks. I didn't even get to eat lunch today, so my mind is singularly set at this point on eating some nachos.

Yep, Casper, we go way back. Actually, only about a year back, but in internet years, that's about 17 calender years.

 

I went to the grocery store last night to pick up some supplies. While passing the Mexican food aisle, I noticed a whole line of seasonings with the Taco Bell label on them. It struck me as ironic that someone would go to the store, spend $2 on a pound of beef, and then try to season it to make it taste like Taco Bell meat.

Honestly, if you want to make your own food that tastes like Taco Bell, it would probably be cheaper to just go kill the horse yourself.

Speaking of meat-type foods, bacon really doesn't seem like a meat product to me. I guess it's the consistency of it, but I would lump bacon into the a completely different food group. Bacon and beef jerky.

 

Hi John
I agree with everyone else about the Capri Sun, btw. They are very good with lame straws.

As for the meat thing... don't ask me, I'm a vegitarian.

 

I think I've found a new favorite artists. Check out Brandon Bird's site. He's got great paintings of Abraham Lincoln kicking ass, Bea Arthur wrestling dinosaurs, and John Tesh.

My favorites include "Bad Day on the High Sea" and "Those That Bind". I've got the theme song in my head now (sha-la-laaa)

 

Hi, John. Nice to meet ya.


And yes...Capri Sun is good stuff...

 

You know, one of my favorite feelings is when you get out of the shower, pool, or whatever and start cooling off. Specifically, I really like the feel when the water on the little tabs of one's ears, the little part of the ear in front of the earhole, starts to evaporate. It feels like a little cool breeze blowing through my brain.

 

It doesn't seem that anyone is really reading this stuff anyways, so in the interest of being lazy, I'm just going to re-post some of my favorite posts from the past. I didn't think I could put the word "post" that much into one sentence, but I did.

When I go to the movies, I'm still a student, so I get in for about $4.50. I find that investing in a baggy pair of pants is perfect for smuggling in that special little snack, like a pot roast.

I once had a cocker spaniel, and her name was Rosebud. But, one day, Rosebud ran away. I thought maybe Rosebud ran away because she didn't love me anymore. At least that's what my parents said. To make me feel better, they bought me a goldfish. But the goldfish died when I let it sleep at the foot of my bed. A few weeks later I was driving down the road with my mom and I saw a dead cocker spaniel on the road. It had been hit by a car. I asked my mom if it was Rosebud, and she said, "Not anymore." I cried a lot after that.

Anyways, as I was saying, the Rosebud incident was completely factual. Except that Rosebud was the name of my neighbors sled, and really I stole it and beat it with a baseball bat, because the kid was a little snob. I showed him.

Raccoons also like cheese. I fed them lots of cheese so they wouldn't get osteoporosis. A raccoon with osteoporosis is like Santa Claus after two pints of whiskey, just rather sad.

 

It doesn't seem that anyone is really reading this stuff anyways...

I am! In fact I'm reading most of this stuff twice because..well..it's a little slow in here.

 

Well, it's good to know someone's reading, and I'm not just huffing and puffing away at the keyboard.

I'll probably post a few more things from the archives later, but I'm going to keep it fresh in here as much as I can still.

 

You huff and puff at the keyboard? John, we need to get you some more excercise.

 

Hahahahaha. I'm reading it too. And the Rosebud story made me laugh.

 

I'm only huffing and puffing on the inside. Don't ask me how it's done, but I manage to pull it off.

Also, a word of advice, don't go to google's image search and type in "fatty", the first images that come back are not pleasent.

 

You're right, that's disgusting.

[image=http://home.texoma.net/~hardini/images/fatty.jpg]

 

That poor fat cat could feed Ornen for a month.