Before Narimoyak: Odd Assembly -- New Story, Jedi OCs, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan POV, 26-April-2006

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Apr 22, 2006.

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  1. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    EDIT: I plan on putting any one-shot stories with this OC, Master Narimoyak, into this thread -- unless they have to go into Saga --, but for now, it's pre-Saga.

    Title: Narimoyak: Sudden Death
    Author: ardavenport (aka Anne Davenport)
    Timeframe: pre-Episode I, pre-TPM
    Genre: drama, reposted from Qui-Gon Jinn Challenge thread
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, OC Jedi
    Keywords Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi
    Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan rescue a fellow Jedi
    Notes: This was not written for any particular Qui-Gon challenge; it?s just a Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan story from Obi-Wan?s POV. It has only minor word and formatting changes and fewer typos from the original posting. Typo is my middle name, with missing words and errors that spell checkers don?t catch being my speciality ? if you see any, just post a reply or send a PM with the what and where and I will kill them with no mercy.
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to George and Lucasfilm; I?m just playing in their sandbox



    We?re too late.

    Obi-Wan?s hand tightened on the control stick of the small cruiser.

    ?Steady, Obi-Wan.? His Master?s voice sounded calm, but in the corner of his eye Obi-Wan could see Qui-Gon?s proud profile staring straight ahead from the co-pilot?s seat. He?d suddenly tensed; they both had. Obi-Wan swallowed, his own eyes on the hazy atmosphere below them.

    Their ship descended through the perpetual clouds that surrounded this world. It was called Yom Ber. No sun or starlight ever touched it?s shrouded surface. It was very sparsely populated by only a few hardy settlers who didn?t mind the gloom, but their ship sped toward a deserted region. They broke through the upper layers of clouds. Below was more gray. Their instruments and a holo map of the surface showed where they were going, where the beacon led them.

    Someone died. Perhaps both.

    Obi-Wan couldn?t tell how many. At least one. He was sure of that. But it wasn?t the slipping away to the Force of an elderly Master in the Temple, or even the sudden, heartbreaking cry of anguish of a stranger. A Jedi had died violently.

    The distress beacon they?d received had been short, suddenly cut off. But it had been enough to give them the location. The Jedi Temple on Coruscant had confirmed the source and that they were the closest. Jedi Master Narimoyak and her Padwan Learner Deena Sh?Shemi had been in a nearby system serving as intermediaries between several multi-world interests involving the planets in that part of space, including Yom Ber. The mission had been completed, successfully, and they?d been returning to Coruscant, but there was no explanation for the detour. Their beacon had gone disturbingly dead.

    Their small ship finally plunged down below the last layer of cloud over a gray and deep green landscape. A mountainside rushed up to them. Qui-Gon leaned forward, pointing. Their destination was clear, an ugly black scar on slate-gray cliffs. Pieces of wreckage of a ship disturbingly similar to their own lay on the ground under the point of impact.

    Obi-Wan landed their craft as close as he could to the crash site, but they still had to climb through the rocks to reach it.

    ?Master Narimoyak!?

    Qui-Gon?s call barely echoed in the heavy air, even with the huge rock face nearby. A dark green forest of giant ferns receded into the haze below them. They scanned the area, their senses eager for any response. But they only heard low, distant warbles and clicks from the native wildlife.

    Both Jedi turned at the same time toward the same place. They felt it through the Force, a wordless impulse, which way to go. They hurried down a gentle, rocky incline, dislodging stray pebbles as they went to the edge of the fern forest. At the wall of the giant, multi-pinnated leaves they heard movement in the foliage. They put the hoods of their robes up, attaching hidden fasteners under their chins to hold them in place and pushed through the leaves toward
  2. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    She carried in her arms a smaller robed figure, the head completely covered in folds of dusty-brown fabric. One arm hung limp, small fingertips visible at the end of the long sleeve.


    Damn, that is just so sad. The entire piece is just hauntingly beautiful. :(
  3. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    That was just so sad ardavenport. The Master's grief at the same time accepting of her loss and Obi-Wan having never felt a loss like that before. So sad. Well done.
  4. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    This was so absolutely magnificent! This really brought the Jedi, and the beings who comprise the Jedi, into perfect harmony, for it's so easy to make the Jedi emotionless and powerful. Here we have Jedi accepting of emotion - they are feeling beings, and they rise above it at the same time.

    Without focus and clarity of instinct, a Jedi could not distinguish the subtleties of the Force from the ordinary clutter of random thoughts and intuition, could not connect to it?s flow and direct it, could not draw strength from it. But with strength and ability came insight and awareness of the essences of others; it couldn?t be shut out; it was the Force. So, Jedi trained to let this flow through themselves as well, to let all the stray flickers of passions, the living thought fragments, the jumble of possibilities in the Force pass through them and away, just as they did their own emotions.

    But now the cool, aged hand on his cheek brought back the clarity that he?d been avoiding for hours, and it?s connection to a crushing sorrow that he?d never experienced and instinctively wanted to hold back. He?d seen death before, and he?d caused it; Obi-Wan didn?t know why this was so difficult.

    ?Obi-Wan.? His Master spoke and he turned. Qui-Gon?s eyes, dark and shadowed under his hood looked intent on him. ?I am sorry. I was not aware that you found this so difficult. I should have seen before now.? Qui-Gon?s hands closed over his. They were warm with the Force, powerful, strong with memory and regret.

    ?You are fearful because the grief changes you.? Qui-Gon leaned toward him. ?You must let it.? His cheek now felt warm where Narimoyak touched him.


    and

    Obi-Wan?s shoulders sagged, tears running down his cheeks. It was all supposed to pass through him, but it didn?t. The terrible possibilities filled him up with their imaginings. A hand gently stroked his hair. He looked down at Qui-Gon?s large hands, covering his own.

    ?It does pass, young one,? Narymoyak?s low voice said, close to his ear. ?But you will be changed from it.? Obi-Wan nodded. Qui-Gon lifted his bandaged hand to him, touching his cheek and this new grief. His Master felt the same sadness, but it was old and worn with years; it had passed through him many times.

    Narimoyak?s hand left him and Obi-Wan turned as she began to rise.

    She leaned over Qui-Gon, her hands lifting and cradling his face, pushing back his hood so that her forehead touched his; her hands caressed his beard. Obi-Wan stayed very still, watching their long, shared moment of compassion, Master to Master. The possibilities for one were not so for the other.
  5. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Healer_Leona : Yes, it is sad. Jedi do lead dangerous lives. Glad you liked the story.

    Layren: Thanks for reading. Obi-Wan is young and I suppose this was his first serious tragedy, so it would affect him, and Qui-Gon doesn?t catch it right away because he?s caught up in it, too, though he has been through it many times.

    Valairy_Scot: Glad you enjoyed it. I wanted to put some feelings into the Jedi; they have some serious emotions, and they have their own way of dealing with them.

  6. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Title: Narimoyak: Odd Assembly
    Author: ardavenport (aka Anne Davenport)
    Timeframe: pre-Episode I, pre-TPM
    Genre: drama with humor
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, OC Jedi
    Keywords: Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, OC Jedi, food
    Summary: Qui-Gon invites Master Narimoyak to his room with her ?friends? for some friendly discussion
    Notes: Typo is my middle name, with missing words and errors that spell checkers don?t catch being my speciality ? if you see any, just post a reply or send a PM with the what and where and I will kill them with no mercy.
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to George and Lucasfilm; I?m just playing in their sandbox


    Obi-Wan inspected himself in the mirror. He evened the hanging ends of his crisp, cream-colored tabards and the matching obi, wrapped around his waist, and straightened the brown belt over them. Then he turned and looked at the back of his tunic in the wide, full-length mirror in his room. The tunic and pants were the same spotless off-white as his obi and tabards. His boots were cleaned, the lightsaber on his belt polished. He ran his hand over his clean, short, thick brown hair. His Padawan?s braid barely touched his shoulder, if he tilted his head to one side a little bit.

    He stood at attention in the mirror. Then he sagged. He knew that he was just delaying leaving by fussing over his appearance. So, he turned and left the mirror in his sparsely furnished room and left, taking his robe with him. He shrugged the robe on as the door slid shut behind him.

    Obi-Wan turned left and walked down the hallway, its stone-composite floors and walls simply decorated, the overhead lighting muted to be enough to comfortably see by but not bright. He passed other doors, just like his own. They were plain, blue-tinted metal with minimal, curling decoration at the edges that matched the pattern on the floor, each door in its own recessed entryway.

    He turned left again at an intersection. A thick, green plant grew in a huge pot in the center of the room under a skylight. It was an artificial skylight since the living areas were deep within the thick walls of the Jedi Temple, but it was a very good one that displayed the same weather outside over the city.

    He descended two flights of stairs. Two other Jedi passed him on their way up. Both were Ishi Tib with large, amphibian eyes on either side of their green heads and smiling beaks for mouths. One was a neighbor down the hall from Obi-Wan, Master Uoofeeu. The smaller one was his new Padawan, Aauuod. They exchanged smiles and nods as they passed each other. Obi-Wan exited the stairway and walked through another arched doorway into another intersection, similar to the one near his own room. The plant was different and flowering; the skylight had a slightly different shape to it. He turned right and walked a long way down another hallway where the colors were more green than upstairs, the subtle pattern on the floor more angular. He finally stopped at one door. The name on the wall panel in the entryway read ?Qui-Gon Jinn?.

    Obi-Wan stood at his Master?s door, his hand paused over the entry request. He didn?t need the lighted ?occupied? indicator to know that Qui-Gon was inside. He could sense his Master?s steady presence, as familiar as the hallway he now tarried in. He gave into the inevitable and touched the square on the panel. It lit up yellow and then the door immediately slid open. Obi-Wan stepped inside, the door closed behind him.

    Six individuals stared back at him and he froze, not expecting there to be so many. He?d thought that there might be only two or three other Jedi Masters besides his own and Master Narimoyak. Qui-Gon raised his hand and introduced Obi-Wan to the others.

    Master Narimoyak, Obi-Wan already knew. He and Qui-Gon had rescued her from a crash on Yom Ber that had killed her young Padawan, Deena Sh?Shemi. Since then Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had not been sent on any other missions. They had been at the
  7. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Aw, you have such a lovely way of writing. I really enjoyed this.
  8. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Ahhh how did I miss this? I didn't know there was more! Very lovely ending.
  9. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Your reply means a lot. Thanks!

    Layren: The follow-up wasn't there before, so you didn't miss it. Technically, it's a stand-alone story, though it comes right after and references the first one. The tone is a bit different from the first one, so I thought they had to be separate stories. So glad you liked it!
  10. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    This vignette was so unexpected and delightful. I love how Obi-Wan tried to nonchalantly take the food, and how Qui-Gon threw that first cookie. [face_laugh] Obi-Wan so perplexed by Qui-Gon's laughter, with dessert smeared over his mouth, was priceless. =D= And the ending was lovely. :) Great job, as usual. ;)
  11. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Whoa. There're so many layers and layers to this. I loved it. It was enchanting, especially with all the details thrown in, the discussions about the Force ( and each master had his or her own way of reacting. They were so natural and in character.) But the way you wrote the food-fight was great. Poor Obi-Wan, desperately needing a snack. And Qui-Gon, laughing and wiping away all the mess. :D And Narimoyak, who expected one thing, but received something else.

    I loved the intricate writing, and your eye for detail. And the whole story had an exotic feel to it. Marvelous.
  12. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    LuvEwan: I love how Obi-Wan tried to nonchalantly take the food, and how Qui-Gon threw that first cookie. Obi-Wan so perplexed by Qui-Gon's laughter, with dessert smeared over his mouth, was priceless.

    Thanks! Yes, one cannot have a mountain of junk food and not have a cute, hungry padawan try to sneak something. I suppose it had to be Qui-Gon who threw the first cookie; he wasn't going to let some obnoxious party guest pick on his padawan! And Obi-Wan is so neat and tidy in the movies I imagine he's that way by habit. So, it would be quite amusing for Qui-Gon to catch him with dessert on his face.

    Princess_Arulmozhi: I loved the intricate writing, and your eye for detail. And the whole story had an exotic feel to it. Marvelous.

    Glad you liked it! To do the party I had to first write out a seating chart with name, species, general physical characteristics, what they brought and what part of the argument they took. Without doing that I couldn't have managed to write it. But once I had all that written down, then it wasn't too hard to actually write it. I'd also written all sorts of speculative details about what Qui-Gon's room looked like. Even though it was a plain room, that helped a lot to know where everything was. Narimoyak wasn't expecting a food fight or that her comrades would be so rude, but I think she knew that Qui-Gon understood.:)
  13. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Thanks to everyone who nominated these stories for Best Series in the Before the Saga Awards. :) Though I feel like I cheated a little; with only two installments it's as short as it can be and still be a series. [face_blush]
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