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Story [Narnia] Before We Were Kings (Vignette | Peter, Edmund)

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by Tabby, Aug 12, 2008.

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  1. Tabby

    Tabby Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 5, 2008
    Title Before We Were Kings
    Author Tabby
    Characters Peter, Edmund, Mrs. Pevensie
    Timeframe Pre-LWW
    Disclaimer Do I look like Lewis?
    Author's Note This was originally posted on Fanfiction Net. Thought I'd put it here too. :D


    Before We Were Kings

    Peter Pevensie heard the front door slam. He sighed, looking bleakly past his wooden pencil at the scattered papers before him. Mathematics, English, British History . . . oh, blast it all! There was no way he could concentrate on schoolwork while another fight erupted in the house.

    Peter set his pencil down and organized the papers into a pile on the edge of his desk, smoothing out crinkles and bent corners. He spun around in his seat, looking out the bedroom door expectantly.

    Footsteps pounded on the stairwell.

    ?Peter?? a feminine voice drifted through the corridor and Peter?s mother appeared in the doorway, her face drawn in grim lines. Her dark eyes looked tired, and she seemed old beyond her years. Peter?s chest clenched and he was out of his seat and beside his mother in an instant.

    He put an arm around her and led her to his bed. She sank down into the cushiony mattresses, her eyes closed. Heavy breathing was the only sound permeating the room. Peter looked on her with concern, but waited patiently for his mother to explain the new problem.

    ?It?s Edmund.?

    Of course. Peter looked down at his hands.

    Mrs. Pevensie pulled herself upright and leaned against the wall, drawing her knees up to her chin. She locked gazes with her eldest son.

    ?I try to understand him, I really do. I know how hard it is for him to grow up with a father only in the pictures on the mantle. It?s sure as the rain comes in the spring that he?ll be a bit bitter, but?oh, Peter! I shouldn?t say that, should I? You don?t remember much of father either.?

    Peter tried to smile. ?I remember his face. And how he let me ride on his shoulders, even when he said I got ?real heavy?.? He looked at the floor for a moment, and then put his right hand over his heart. ?Wherever father is, he?s here,? he whispered.

    A pair of arms encircled him, and Peter embraced his mother.

    ?You remind me so much of him,? she murmured, absently pushing stray locks back from his forehead.

    ?I?m sorry, mother.?

    She pulled back, her expression startled. ?Whatever for??

    ?I should?ve been there for Ed more, shouldn?t I? He didn?t have a father there to guide him, and . . . I?m his big brother. He needed me, but I wasn?t really there. Maybe I was there physically, but I never thought he might need someone to talk to, someone??

    ?Don?t do this, Peter. Don?t do this.? Mrs. Pevensie?s eyes were suddenly brighter as a veneer of tears covered her pupils.

    ??someone who really cared for him.?

    ?Peter Pevensie, you?re ten years old, not twenty!? she cried. ?I don?t expect?I don?t want?you to be a father to anyone. This isn?t your responsibility.?


    ?And you do care for him. You care for him, I care for him, Susan cares for him, and little Lucy adores both her big brothers. Don?t be so hard on yourself.?

    Peter couldn?t meet her eyes. ?Maybe I cared for him when he came home with a scrape on his knee, but what about all the other times? All the ordinary days when he just needed a friend, and I wasn?t there.?

    His mother looked stricken, and Peter moved near her instinctively.

    ?When did you grow up so much??

    Peter looked surprised, his mouth opening to speak, and then closing as if he decided his words weren?t appropriate.

    ?I don?t feel grown up.?

    ?You act twice your age, Peter.? She looked heartbroken.

    ?I don?t, mother, really.? Peter caught her expression. ?But even if I do, is that so bad??

    Mrs. Pevensie walked over to him and grasped his shoulders in both her hands. He blinked, surprised by the iron strength of her grip.

    ?You?re still young. You?re a kid, Peter, and you deserve it?everyone needs a time of bliss and innocence where they don?t need to worry about adult matter
  2. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 20, 2002
    Narnia always makes me sad. :_| I don't know why, maybe it's because they're only kids. I liked Peter's struggle between wanting to help his family and wanting to stay a kid. But even more, I liked Edmund getting in the last word on that subject by putting him in his place about the coat - kind of like Ed's informing Peter, "You don't have to worry so much about being a father because I can take care of myself once in a while." Very nice. [face_love]
  3. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Apr 5, 2000
    Awwww! Nicely done! You captured both the boys perfectly! :D
  4. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 20, 2002
    So good! The title caught my attention (I love it) and the story is so sweet and sad. I think this is the first time I've ever liked Edmund. I love the brotherly bonding :)
  5. Tabby

    Tabby Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 5, 2008
    Replies!! :D


    Narnia always makes me sad.
    Really? I'm the opposite. ^^ Narnia has always been a joy to me. The Pevensie have faced a lot of challenges, but I think Narnia's like their solace. I'd love to go to Narnia, given the chance. :D

    Yeah! I absolutely think Peter struggled with being the oldest and doing what's best for his family. And I see Ed as the one who anchors him a bit and lets him no he doesn't need to worry so much.

    Thank you for reading and reviewing!

    Miana Kenobi

    Thank you! That's great to hear--I'm always worried they'll be out of character. Thanks for reading!


    Thanks, I'm glad to hear that! I struggled a lot with naming this fic actually.

    I think this is the first time I've ever liked Edmund.
    Oh, interesting. He's one of my favorite characters since I love how much he changes (for the better) throughout the stories. I think he represents a small part of everyone. I'm flattered this fic made you like him for the first time, though! That's super cool to hear. :cool:

    [:D] Thank you all for reading and reviewing! -hands out cyber warm, melty chocolate chip cookies-
  6. Rogue...Jedi

    Rogue...Jedi Administrator Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jan 12, 2000
    Nice job - you definitely capture their personalities.

    The only question I have - and this isn't a complaint or anything - but I'm trying to place this chronologically and coming up with a blank. What year would this be (or, better, how long before LLW is this)?
  7. Tabby

    Tabby Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 5, 2008

    I imagined this to be about two years before LWW. Peter is ten and Edmund is six in this fic, while in LWW they are 12 and 8 respectively.

    Thanks for reading and commenting! :D

  8. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005
    I love the Narnia books to pieces and had the honour of being part of the cast of a production of LWW our local theatre did last Christmas. This was a really great insight into Peter and Edmund's characters pre-LWW -- that's part of why I find it so fascinating. I haven't seen many fics involving them before going to Narnia. :)

    Awesome work! =D=
  9. Jinngerbread

    Jinngerbread Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 2, 2007
    Awwwwwwwwwwww this was such a sweet story [face_love]. You captured both of them so very well! Very glad Peter was there to help Edmund, totally gave me the warm fuzzies. Nice work!
  10. Neon Star

    Neon Star Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 30, 2000
    This is adorable, loved how you wrote their relationship. This is actually the first Narnia fic I've ever read, though I love the movies and the books. Excellent work on weaving this tale.
  11. Tabby

    Tabby Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 5, 2008
    More replies!! [:D]

    Idrelle Miocovani

    I love the Narnia books to pieces and had the honour of being part of the cast of a production of LWW our local theatre did last Christmas.

    Wow, that's awesome! Who did you play? I wish we'd do something like that in our area... I'd love to be part of anything Narnia related. (Not as an actor though, I'm terrible. xD)

    Thank you for reading and commenting! I agree, I haven't seen too many fics about pre-LWW Pevensies, so I thought I'd give it a go. Plus, I love Peter and Edmund, so writing brother bonding was fun. :cool:


    Why thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed, and warm fuzzies are always nice. Heh.

    (By the way, on a random note, I really like your username. Creative. ^^)

    Neon Star

    Thank you so much! I would definitely recommend you read more Narnia fics if you love the books! There are some gems on Fanfiction, though you do need to dig through some not so great fics too. I've loved Narnia since I was really young, but only recently got into Narnia fanfics, which are awesome!
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