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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends Necessary Evil (OC mystery/action) Chapter 17: Bitter Victory posted 1/23! Completed

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by BrentusofGath, Aug 30, 2005.

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  1. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Title: Necessary Evil
    Author: James Butler
    Era: 206 years before KOTOR
    Characters: All OC
    Disclaimer: I make no claim to owning Star Wars, the Jedi or the Sith, I'm just happy creating a few characters who can swing lightsabers around [face_dancing]
    Summary: An investigation by a Jedi Master into a strange droid hiding in Sith space turns deadly. The fate of the galaxy is at stake in more ways than one.
    Notes: Thanks to my Master, Bobilll for the wonderful job beta-ing!





    Chapter 1

    ***

    "A small problem we have, Master Tak," Odeon reported to Jedi Master Tak Vedis in the council chambers of the Jedi. "Requires a Grand Master no less this problem does."

    "Then it is not a small problem, Master," Tak replied, "and you know well that I am not a Grand Master yet, Master Odeon."

    "Ah," Odeon mused quietly, "if only our troubles in this time of crisis he knew." Then he spoke louder, "But spare a Grand Master at this time we cannot."

    "I understand, Master," Tak replied while inwardly he raved bitterly, I thought I was coming here to be made a Grand Master! Odeon did not seem to sense his emotional outburst, but Tak nonetheless chided himself in front of his former Master. He took a deep breath and replaced his ego with awareness. I still have much to learn. That is obviously why I am not a Grand Master.

    Odeon stood up from his seat and walked Tak toward the door. "Give you assistance I wish we could, but seek answers to this mystery alone, you must." He looked up at Tak, eyes wanting to help him, knowing he was sending the Jedi on one of the most dangerous missions he could envision.

    Tak walked silently, having patience to wait for more information on where he was going and what he would need to do. He stood about two meters tall with a jaw carved from stone and sharp green eyes which always seemed to be focused and clear. He folded his arms into his cloak sleeves and walked slowly beside Odeon as they went out into the Temple. Tak could sense Odeon's hesitance to send him out alone, but he knew the Jedi were short-handed right now in the never-ending fight against the Sith.

    "What is my mission, Master?" he finally asked as they reached the landing pad where Tak's favorite fighter, a prototype Republic Foundry's RF-1000 awaited him. The astromech droid S8-M2, who accompanied Tak on all his adventures was warming up the engines.

    Odeon sighed deeply, trying to fight back his own regret before speaking. "Go to Destrius you must. Tracked a special droid there, a Jedi did, before we lost contact with him."

    "Destrius is a Sith world," Tak said, shaken and taken aback by his destination. "What is so special about this droid that we need it back desperately enough to go there?"

    "Consciousness, this droid has," Odeon replied to a shocked Tak.

    "Are you sure Master Odeon? Droids are not supposed to have true consciousness."

    "Quite sure, we are. Very dangerous this droid is," Odeon cautioned. "Very careful you must be in your search."

    "You can tell me nothing more?" Tak asked anxiously, sensing there was more to the story. Odeon merely shook his head, turned and walked back toward the Temple. Tak smiled curiously after him for a few moments until the small green Jedi disappeared into the Temple. Then he jumped into the fighter and the hood slid seamlessly into place, locking with a loud clicking sound.

    "I wonder what Odeon couldn't tell me about this droid?" he said out loud. S8 bleeped in his ear. "Yes, I take it we are to destroy this droid." S8 bleeped again and Tak laughed. "Yes, you can be glad you're on my side. Let's get going."

    The ship roared into life, spitting blue flame from the tail. The ship blasted out of the atmosphere in moments, into the void of space. "S8, we need coordinates for Destrius." The droid bleeped furiously in his ear. "Yes, I know it's a Sith world." Another few bleeps. "Don't start with me S8, or you'll get no oil bath this year." S8 considered answering back, but changed his mind
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Oh, good start! =D=
     
  3. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    "Don't start with me S8, or you'll get no oil bath this year."

    [face_laugh] Poor little guy. :p

    "Yes, my master?" the figure whispered with a voice of death into the com.

    Oooh! Can't wait for more. :D
     
  4. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Chapter 2: The Rooster Crowed at Midnight

    ***

    Tak's eyes opened quickly after his vision. "That's odd," he murmured to himself, "I don't normally dream about women." S8 bleeped sarcastically in his ear. Tak glowered at the droid through the cockpit glass. "You're begging for that memory wipe aren't you?"

    S8 whined briefly but soon they both had other things to attend to. The hyperdrive shut down as they entered the Destrius system. The stars in the cockpit slid out of flux and appeared as individual flickers of light once more.

    A dark, forbidding sight filled his eyes. "There it is," he said. His eyes were drawn immediately to the planet; there was power here, immense and shadowy. He hesitated for a moment to set course for it, pondering the nature of the power he felt emanating from the planet. His gaze fixed on the rock in space. He was paralyzed, he felt his soul ripping itself from his body and trying to escape the dark power, or else to become one with it, he knew not which.

    S8 whirred and buzzed in his ear, freeing him from his stare. "Thanks S8. Setting course, I only hope they have a settlement down there." S8 beeped again. "Why? I need information of course, so hopefully I can find someone knowledgable to help me."

    He would not have long to wait, for as soon as he finished speaking, his com crackled to life. "State your purpose," a gruff voice greeted him.

    "Refueling and recreation," he replied. "I hear you have a dueling center here."

    There was silence for a moment and Tak briefly considered they would deny him entrance and he would have to fight his way in, until once again he heard the voice. "I hope you brought lots of credits with you," the stern voice commanded. "You are clear for docking on platform 8. Stay out of trouble or the Sith will deal with you."

    Tak landed and got out of his fighter. "Stay with the ship and make sure no one tampers with it; we may have to get out of here in a hurry."

    An officer appeared immediately. He looked Tak up and down, obviously familiar with Jedi attire. "I hope you're here to cause trouble," he growled. "The Sith here will destroy you very slowly and painfully."

    "I'm just here to gamble, as I told the person on the com," Tak replied. "I don't want any trouble with the Sith, or you for that matter."

    "Then the docking fee will be fifty credits," the officer replied, still suspicious.

    Tak tossed him a fifty-credit piece and walked toward the exit. He placed his hood over his head and pressed on through the doors into the main corridor. The cantina was dark, a little too dark but Tak went in anyway. In the corner he saw a Rodian and an Ugnaught playing Pazaak. He sensed the Ugnaught was cheating mercilessly, but decided not to get involved. The band was playing a somber tune and he noticed the mandatory drunks lying against the bar or on the floor. A Mandalorian skulked in the background, watching the Pazaak players with interest.

    "Where's the dueling arena?" Tak asked the bartender.

    "Who's asking?" the Ithorian bartender asked. He turned around and saw who he was dealing with. "Are you a contender?"

    "Just want to make a bet," Tak assured him.

    "I take the bets around here," the bartender answered.

    "I like to see who it is I'm betting on," Tak returned placidly, wearing a friendly smile.

    The Ithorian thought it over for a moment, then pointed to the door in the rear of the bar. "I guess you're not going to make much trouble considering you're hopelessly outnumbered here by Sith. They're in the gymnasium warming up now. Just make sure you see me with your credits."

    Tak walked into the large gymnasium and very quickly spotted the very being he wanted to talk with, a Twi'lek. "Hi Forn," he said as he approached.

    "Funny how you always know where to find me," the blue-skinned Forn Tressle answered in a tired voice. She quietly took hold of a strong blade, her back still turned toward Tak.

    "Just lucky I guess," Tak replied with a smile on his face.

    "I thought you Jedi didn't believe in luck," Forn answered, waiti
     
  5. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Another great update! =D=
     
  6. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    :eek: I think I like Tak's investigative methods better. [face_worried] He's funnier, anyway. :p
     
  7. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Thanks guys! It's good to have some readers who are so gracious @};-!

    Yes, Jade, there definitely is a difference in the detecting styles [face_laugh].
     
  8. bobilll

    bobilll Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 2002
    Dude, I think I'm losing my touch! How'd I miss this? Great start, padawan. I love your title. And you got the quotes to work! [face_dancing]

     
  9. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Chapter 3: Fast Times on Planet 9

    ***

    The warm air weighed heavily on Tak's lungs as he emerged from the settlement. He turned his head to the west, eyeing a treacherous-looking outcropping of jagged rock. He struck out for it, leaning into a sudden updraft of stinging humid air.

    "There was definitely a blaster fight here," he commented. The dark red rock was singed black in many places, he noted. There was also a small amount of metal shards lying here and there. Tak rubbed his jaw and stopped short. A robed body was lying face down in the dirt. The robe was light brown. It would appear I found the missing Jedi, he thought to himself.

    He turned the body over to get a good look at the man. A face stared up at him, pale and cold, eyes staring blankly up at the evening stars. Tak's blood ran cold, his fists clenched and his face went slack with agony. There, lying before him was his former Padawan, a human called Undar Geld from Naboo. Undar was Tak's most recent Padawan, passing the trials just two short years ago.

    Is this why Odeon sent me? Tak fumed to himself. Is it Jedi policy to retrieve your own dead Padawans from Sith worlds? Did the Sith kill Undar, or this droid I'm supposed to find? And if it is the droid, how? I didn't think an ordinary droid could be dangerous at all to a Jedi Knight. Even an extra-ordinary one with consciousness.

    While he mourned his friend silently, a murky shadow moved behind him. Tak finally noticed the dead Jedi's fist clenched tightly around an object. He reached out for the hand, when he sensed something behind the rocks in front of him. Calmly he continued in his action, trying to open the dead man's hand.

    A warm breeze clung to his lungs, bringing the smell of sulfur into his nostrils. It was now almost dark, so he had to squint to identify the object clutched in the cold hand. Something moved in front of him. A rock slipped down a low ridge, followed by some red sand. Tak stood up and one of the Sith apprentices from the gymnasium appeared, waving his light saber about like a madman, screaming and growling wildly.

    Tak was disappointed. He smirked and shook his head. Quickly his own saber was drawn and the green and red clashed ferociously. They both stood face to face, the hum of sabers and the grunts of physical determination mingling with the howl of the increasing winds.

    Tak almost didn't move in time, but when he did, the movement was swift and decisive. The Sith sneaking up from behind raged violently and pulled his saber from the chest of his comrade, who collapsed lifelessly to the rocky ground. Tak clashed sabers with the new arrival. With little trouble he blocked a forehand slash and kicked his adversary to the ground.

    "You still have much to learn," he chided the Sith. "Go back to your master and learn more before challenging a Jedi Master."

    The Sith attacked again, this time with pure rage and hatred in his heart. He fed on the power of the strong emotions like a good little Sith and actually kept up with Tak for a short time, trading saber blows left and right. Tak, however, was only calmly looking for his opening, and when he found it, the Sith found himself missing a hand, lopped off at the wrist.

    Tak deactivated his saber, supposing the Sith would run off and sound the alarm. Tak never killed an unarmed being and assumed he would have to fight his way off the planet. The Sith however, had different plans. He grinned a sharp toothed grin and raised his good hand, "My master taught me how to kill Jedi." Suddenly, deadly lightning shot from his hand in a mighty pulse, electrifying and lighting up the night sky all around.

    "You should practice more," Tak replied, easily catching the electrical charges in his hand. The Sith's eyes widened. He was about to give in and run, but Tak turned the pulse right back on him. He jumped and danced like a puppet, eyes bursting under the temperature. The Sith fell limp to the ground; fried crispy, steaming and smoking. "Amateurs," Tak mused. If only he ran away, he thoug
     
  10. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Chapter 4: Hollowed Point





    ***

    Tak hopped out of his fighter and walked over to S8's position. "Can you give me a clear reading on what might be a droid amongst all this metal?" S8 bleeped and whirred for several seconds until finally giving up. "I know, like looking for a needle in a haystack. Stay and watch after the ship."

    S8 beeped disappointedly. After Tak left however, the clever little guy slipped out through the bottom of the ship and followed.

    Tak found the Tantrans to be very close-mouthed on the subject of conscious droids, until he came upon a little shop selling personal armor. Tak sensed the beautiful woman behind the counter was afraid of something, or someone. "I can't tell you what you want to know," she whispered as the Tantran slug she worked for looked on, "but I know who to ask." She dropped a small guild emblem into his palm and then quickly rushed away into the back of the shop.

    Tak eyed the emblem quickly, then shoved it into his robe before the slug oozed on over to question him. Tak left the shop after plunking down a few hundred credits for a pair of night vision goggles.

    He was on his way to the metalworkers guild when he heard a noise and looked skyward. A small ship with strange markings entered the atmosphere and set down at the port. Tak squinted in the sunlight to identify the markings. "A Mandalorian ship," he spoke aloud. "I wonder..."

    The front office of the guild was deserted. Tak searched the area slowly and carefully with his eyes. He could feel trouble hanging menacingly in the air, thick and malevolent. Something behind him twitched his senses, but he whirled around to find nothing but empty space. In a small storage space next to the front door, the figure cloaked in black watched, careful not to make a physical sound or a ripple in the Force.

    Tak explored the rear of the guild, a long hallway leading to several shops and the working area for the members. He could find nothing but silence. A small object caught his eye. He bent down to pick it up, turning it over in his hands. The very thing I needed, he thought. I don't like all this silence, I fear something terrible happened to the people here.

    He turned to leave, but a timid creature stuck it's nose out from under a table. "You're a Jedi," the Snivvian said.

    "Last time I checked," Tak returned. "Why were you hiding?"

    "I was hiding from the Sith," the small being stated, nervously looking over his shoulder every few seconds.

    "Ah, I see," Tak remarked. "That explains why everything here is so quiet. What can you tell me about the droid?"

    "What droid?" the Snivvian asked. "I know nothing of any assassin droid."

    "Who said it was an assassin?" Tak asked innocently.

    The Snivvian tried to run, but Tak used the Force to lift him from the ground. He floated the small being over to face him. "What can you tell me of the droid?"

    "Just that you should stay away!" the creature shouted. "Stay away if you want to go on living! Please, he'll kill my family if I say anything more!"

    "It has your family?" Tak asked. The Snivvian nodded. Tak sensed no deception from the being and let him down gently.

    "We serve him," the creature replied dejectedly. "At first he seemed like a better master than the Sith, but with power comes arrogance. My wife and children went with him and even if I knew where they went, I couldn't tell you out of fear for their safety."

    "I understand," Tak replied softly. I have what I need anyway, he thought to himself. "I will rescue your family if I can."

    Tak walked out from behind the counter and immediately sensed something inside the storage closet by the front door. He continued walking calmly until he was right in front of the door. With the speed of a Jedi he took out his lightsaber, activated it and shoved it into the center of the door.

    The Sith inside was fast too, dodging the strike and bursting through the door. The door caught Tak in the shoulder and staggered him back a meter before he recovered. The black cloaked S
     
  11. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Chapter 5: Som'thin' in the Way



    ***

    Tak noticed himself breathing rather heavily as well. His saber blade was still stuck in the face of the prostrate Sith woman before him. He clicked the blade off and stood upright out of his battle stance. "No," he said calmly, "I do not kill unarmed enemies."

    "Then we are at an impasse," the tired woman told him. "If you let me live, I will track you as you track the droid and we must fight again. Or we could remain here, unmoving, with you holding me in check until we die of old age."

    "Or," Tak replied diplomatically, a kindly smile on his lips, "we could work together to accomplish our task."

    He proffered his hand to the fallen woman. She eyed his hand suspiciously for a moment, but something else soon stole her glance away. Perhaps responding to the noise of their saber fight, or mere coincidence, two figures emerged from a nearby cave and began to approach. She saw by the sunlight glinting off their bodies these were droids.

    Tak finally noticed her staring at something behind him. He didn't trust a Sith as far as he could throw one, but something told him it was safe to turn around. "I think these two fine fellows might have some answers for us," he said to the Sith, his head turned away from her. "By the way, I'm Tak, Tak Vedis, and what may I call you?"

    "Let's just see what they want first," she growled at him. "I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet."

    The two droids looked odd to Tak, he never saw a design quite like it before. Both metal men stopped about ten meters from them and turned to each other. "Goody," one of them said to the other, "humanoids with the Force. We shall cause their fleshy parts make that squishy sound."

    "Oooo," cried the other one, his metal hands clanging together, "I love that squishy sound! And can we make bagpipes from their kilometers of internal organs?"

    "Of course," said the other. "We will play our Master a lively tune."

    Tak briefly considered the possibility he would have three enemies to fight until he heard the voice from behind. "Tak," she spoke with determination in her voice, "my name is Darth Serbious, and I'll take that hand up now."

    Serbious was soon on her feet, her lightsaber pulled to her hand by the Force. The droids silently pulled metallic objects from small compartments built into their hips. Tak and Serbious watched with interest as suddenly they recognized the objects; lightsaber hilts. The droids activated the sabers, a black blade emerged from the hilts and they held them up at an attack angle.

    At once, black, green and red intermingled in a chorus of flashes, clashes and hums. The droids were surprisingly agile and precise, coldly calculating their moves a split second beforehand. Only the Force prevented the humanoids from tasting death; they could foresee the actions coming their way. Serbious fought furiously but was backed away at every opportunity by the clever droid, leading her into the darkened cave.

    Tak didn't notice and continued fighting on where he stood, the droid facing him was not much of a match, though its defense was sound. Tak finally got the upper hand and sliced off a leg. He lowered his saber, certain the droid would fall to the ground. The droid steadied itself and glowered at Tak. From its hip, several snake-like appendages spit forth and grabbed the fallen leg. They carried it back up, securing the leg in its proper place. Tak's eyes widened and he put up his guard just in time to block the black saber from cutting off his head.

    Black and red traded blows, sending photons dancing around the walls of the cave. Serbious used the Force to throw a rock at her opponent, hitting it in the head and sending it staggering backwards. It let out a howl and charged her. The strangeness in the situation of a charging, enraged droid took away her focus momentarily and her opponent capitalized. Her saber was knocked from her grip and she went tumbling to the ground, her head smacking into a rock.

    Serbious was bleary-eyed and her head hurt badly, but she was st
     
  12. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Chapter 6: The Good, the Bad, and the Not-So-Ugly



    ***

    Serbious inched the blade of her saber toward Tak's face, the rage seeping from her now. She could hear her master's voice echoing in her mind, "Kill him or you'll never be a true Sith, never hold true power in your hands!"

    She stared at Tak, wondering if he was mad. Then she remembered her father, tall and stately, just like the Jedi standing before her now. Her father only wanted the best for his little girl. The only problem was, they lived on a planet in the Sith Empire. When a Sith Master came to him with the news that his six year old daughter was strong in the Force and would be trained as a Sith, her father dared to defy him. Big mistake.

    Now as she tried to reconcile her conscience with her training, suddenly her master's voice entered her thoughts once more. "True strength is getting someone else to do the dangerous work for you. This strength flows forth from the Force and leads directly into power. Controlling one's enemy is the ultimate power."

    Thus her training, conscience and her thoughts were now united in telling her what she wanted to hear. Her lightsaber clicked off and she watched until Tak opened one of his eyes slightly and looked around. "If I'm dead, how come you're still here?" he asked her.

    She was about to answer when the sound of a blaster shot pierced the cold, muggy cave air. Tak turned and ran toward the sound. Strange, Serbious thought to herself, he puts his guard down against a Sith and then turns his back to her when he perceives someone needs help. Is he foolish, or just stupid? She followed him, wondering what they would do next with no clue where to look for the droid.

    Tak and Serbious found the Mandalorian face down in the dirt, his blaster resting where it dropped from his hand. He passed out just as he fired the shot. Tak studied the position of the blaster in relation to the unconscious man. He knelt to the ground, turned the heavy man onto his back and concentrated the Force to heal the damage. A golden light formed around the two men as the healing process began. Serbious leaned benignly against a tree, staring in wonder at Tak.

    "You Jedi amaze me," she commented. "You heal a weak individual who could turn out not to be very friendly. Did it not occur to you that he was trying to commit ritual suicide, probably for a failure? He is, after all, a Mandalorian."

    "Yes," Tak said, his eyes closed, deep in meditation, "it did occur to me. The trouble is, the universe is filled with life forms, each living together in harmony. Each with a symbiosis, an attachment with everything else around. When one being dies, it affects those around it. That is why the Jedi try to help the weak the Sith step on."

    "Bah!" Serbious replied. "Look at the nature of 'life forms'. One being dies so that another might live; it is the ordered way of things. The Kath hound kills the Grimor dog so it can eat; does that make the Kath hound evil? You Jedi disturb the natural balance of things by saving the weak."

    The Mandalorian finally came around and began to move. He opened his eyes, saw Tak and smiled. Odd, Tak thought, I've never seen a Mandalorian smile before. Tak got up and pulled the Mandalorian up with him.

    "Thanks. I'm Korg Ulru." Korg bent over, picked up his blaster and Serbious twitched. Korg holstered his blaster, eyeing the Sith. "I was hunting out here when those two droids came from the cave and attacked me. They left me for dead, I guess nobody programmed it into their thick hides that Mandalorians are tough to kill. I was lying in the tall grass to the east of here when I saw you two arrive and fight the droids. I take it you won."

    "Not quite yet, Korg," Tak responded. "We have to find their leader."

    "There's another one!?" Korg grunted. "I'm coming along to settle the score!"

    "I think we can handle things ourselves, Mandalorian," Serbious barked.

    "It wasn't an option," Korg returned coldly. "I'm going to find their leader and vaporize it with or
     
  13. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Okay. I haven't read all of it, yet, but I like what I've read. Good Story.
     
  14. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Tak Vedis: interesting guy.

    Can we, and do we have the right to compete with the Sith for territory? The conflicts between the Republic and the Sith Empire can be said to be, at least in part, a result of the expansion of the Republic. Do we continue to expand and fight? If we exterminate the Sith, are we not as evil as we say they are? We claim the Sith are evil when they kill; how can we kill and call it good?

    ^^^ all good questions.

    Best Line: "That's odd," he murmured to himself, "I don't normally dream about women."

    "Look at the nature of 'life forms'. One being dies so that another might live; it is the ordered way of things. The Kath hound kills the Grimor dog so it can eat; does that make the Kath hound evil? You Jedi disturb the natural balance of things by saving the weak."

    And yet it's the Jedi, not the Sith, who are the galaxy's protectors. Gee, I wonder why?

    I'm looking forward to that trip to Hoth. :D

    Please continue.
     
  15. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Chapter 7: Fresh Fish For Sale!

    ***

    Forn Tressle, dressed in robes of purest silk, descended the platform from the public transport ship. She walked over to the window and looked out over the vast seas of the water world Manaan. A catfish-like Selkath officer was making his rounds, making sure everyone got off the ship and understood the rules of the watery world.

    The ship contained mostly Selkath merchants and their various droids. They were returning from Destrius selling their wares to the Sith. Forn was here for a match and nothing more. She didn't like these fishy people because they sided with the Sith while claiming to be neutral.

    Forn settled in for a quick nap before hitting the gym for a workout. She couldn't sleep on the transport because something in her room, or the next kept making a very disturbing tapping sound.

    She was just drifting off when something disrupted her quiet time. At first it was just a single, distant thud, to which she once again rested her head on the pillow. Then a low, almost inaudible creaking and grinding noise filled the air. This made her sit up and look around the room, wondering what it could be. She looked around the dimly lit room carefully, until she finally traced the sound to the door leading outside.

    Silently, she crept over to the door to hear better. Something was indeed grinding away at the door. She went quickly to her bag and opened a secret panel on the bottom. A small, nonmetallic weapon was hidden there for just these emergencies.

    Just then, a small hole opened up in the door and a long cable began to enter through it. Forn suspected she didn't have time for what she was planning and instead cart-wheeled toward the window. The small cable immediately shot off a burst of fire into the room, burning so hot the walls began to melt under the temperature. She somersaulted through the window. The glass shattered and fell, along with Forn, into the clear blue water thirty meters below.

    She crawled gingerly out of the water, nursing a broken ankle from the impact with it. A small lift took her up toward the large city. She placed her small device, a handheld plasteel instrument which emits a powerful burst of electricity, into her pocket to use on whoever, or whatever, tried to kill her.

    ***

    Tak set the coordinates for Hoth into the navicomputer and they were off, Korg's ship following right behind. "Tell me," Tak said neutrally as the stars performed their ritual dance for the jump into hyperspace, "how did you become a Sith?"

    "You're a Jedi, you know how it works," she returned angrily. "If you're strong in the Force at a young age, you get trained."

    "Yes," he said chuckling, "but I'm interested in the specifics. Who found you to be strong in the Force? How was the transition from your family to your Sith life handled?"

    She turned her head to look away from him while she spoke. "My Master, Darth Damiel found me and my father allowed him to take me."

    He sensed she wasn't being totally truthful with him, or herself. "Was it really that easy?" he asked, deep compassion telling through his voice.

    "Of course it wasn't," her voice was distant and weak, no longer defiant. Delia! She heard her father's voice. She remembered that last day, before Damiel took her. Tak sensed her immense sadness.

    "I was six years old." She didn't know why, but she was about to pour herself out in front of him. "This man came to our house. Not Damiel, a groveling little worm who helped the Sith in their governing. He told my parents I was 'special'. He said I was to be taken away to become a Sith. My father threw him out of the house. He was angry. I asked him what was wrong while he and my mother fought. My mother wanted to give me to the Sith to be safe, but my father said 'No'. I tugged at his coat and in his anger he struck out." Dampness filled her eyes, Tak saw it in her reflection and felt it in her heart.

    "The next day Damiel came to me in school." She sniffled and her voice suddenly turned to sarcasm. "He told me he knew what my father
     
  16. darthrevan34

    darthrevan34 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 4, 2005
    good story brentusofgath!
     
  17. Nienna_Narmolanya

    Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2005
    I just saw this today, and I read up to chapter 4. I have to stop now and go do homework, but I just wanted to let you know how much I like this. It's very suspenseful! *shivers* :D

    I really like Tak; he's so cool under fire, and some of the things he says bring a smile to my face. I can so see him saying those things. For example, "Maybe you should practice more." [face_laugh] (Sorry if I didn't quote it quite right.) Tak's droid (S8 is it?) is so hysterical! He reminds me a lot of R2-D2 because of his spunk. :)

    I'll definitely be back later to read the rest. Good job creating an intricate plot with multiple characters and worlds, Brentus! =D=
     
  18. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Good post. :)

    About Serbious... Well, no one said being a sith was pleasant on anyone. :)

    Continue!
     
  19. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    DaenaBenjen42 posted: I'm looking forward to that trip to Hoth.

    That will be coming soon.

    About Serbious... Well, no one said being a sith was pleasant on anyone.

    Yes, it's quite the unpleasant experience, I can imagine. Thanks for reading and enjoying!

    darthrevan34 Thank you for reading. I'm glad you like it!

    Nienna_Narmolanya posted: I really like Tak; he's so cool under fire, and some of the things he says bring a smile to my face. I hope he's not too cool, I don't want to be writing any Marty Stus or Mary Sues. That's a no no. :D Thank you for all the kind words, I'm happy to entertain! More coming soon!
     
  20. BrightFeather

    BrightFeather Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2005
    Nice. You've got a really cool mystery going on here, and I can't wait to find out what happens next. Post more soon.

    BrightFEather
     
  21. Nienna_Narmolanya

    Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2005
    I've finally had time to come back and read the rest. :)

    =D= I really like it! I like the adventure, the suspense, and most of all, the plot (which is kind of the same as adventure and suspense, but anyway...) This is a very intriging, fast paced story. A very enjoyble read. :D

    I liked Serbious's story. It got me thinking about all the other Sith and how very few of them had any choice in the matter. It's all depends on what you're taught to believe...

    The trouble is, the universe is filled with life forms, each living together in harmony. Each with a symbiosis, an attachment with everything else around. When one being dies, it affects those around it. That is why the Jedi try to help the weak the Sith step on."

    "Bah!" Serbious replied. "Look at the nature of 'life forms'. One being dies so that another might live; it is the ordered way of things. The Kath hound kills the Grimor dog so it can eat; does that make the Kath hound evil? You Jedi disturb the natural balance of things by saving the weak."


    Cool little philosophy banter here! I love how you manage to convey many of the differences between the Jedi and the Sith in this small section of dialogue. There is much left unsaid, and I think that makes the scene more powerful.

    Update soon! :D

    EDIT: One thing - could you put the chapter number at the top of every post please? I got confused as to which one I stopped on. Without a number, they all look the same. ;)
     
  22. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    BrightFeather posted: You've got a really cool mystery going on here

    Thank you BrightFeather! I'm glad you're interested in the case. The droid will remain a mystery for another update or two or four updates, hehe. I have to keep it a mystery, don't I? :D

    Nienna_Narmolanya posted: I liked Serbious's story. It got me thinking about all the other Sith and how very few of them had any choice in the matter.

    I wanted to try and portray the Sith as being people, too. I'm glad you liked her story and discovered, perhaps, that she is real after all, not just some demon to hate.


    Thanks everyone for reading! A birthday bonus update, (mine that is) will be coming tomorrow (my time). Don't miss it! Really, or I will have to hunt you down, and none of us wants that, right? [face_devil] [face_laugh]
     
  23. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Chapter 8: The Long Dry Season

    ***

    Tak shut down the engines and the hatch slid silently open. He hopped out of the cockpit and rubbed a sore hip. He waited for Serbious to come out, but she stayed still. "Aren't you coming?" he asked her.

    "If you want to risk your life for someone else," she replied, "that's your business. I'm waiting here until you get back. But if I sense you're dead, I'm taking your ship." S8 bleeped at her.

    "S8," Tak said, "if I'm dead then you should go with her." He turned to Serbious. "If you sense I'm dead, by all means take the ship. I'll be back shortly, though."

    As soon as he left the landing area, he went straight for the elevators to the lower levels of the settlement. There he could come up into the kitchen of the visitor's area. I didn't like that message, he thought to himself as the elevator descended. Forn saw Serbious there. Even if she was in immediate danger she wouldn't say anything in front of a stranger unless it was in code. I'm going to have to get a better look at the situation.

    Serbious, meanwhile, couldn't sit still very long. She quickly tired of listening to S8 beep and hopped out of the cockpit, much to S8's delight. She pulled her hood over her face, folded her arms inside the sleeves of her robe and walked out into the spaceport.

    The Sith woman strolled into the visitor's area, in part looking for Tak, but hoping she wouldn't find him. I find this Jedi always on my thoughts, she mused to herself, oblivious to the beings filing past her. I feel his power, it is great, and yet he remains devoted to the light. I should endeavor to bring him to the darkness. My master would be pleased.

    She walked into the visitor's cantina, strode up to the bar and ordered a drink. In the shadows in one corner, a pair of inky, black eyes followed her every move.

    Tak breezed through the doors into the main kitchen and greeted a familiar face. "How are you Mel'losh?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around a Selkath.

    "Tak!" Mel'losh cried. "It's been a long time! What can an old, dried up, boiled fish do for a Jedi Master?"

    "I have a bit of a problem upstairs," Tak began, closing his eyes when he sensed Serbious's presence, "which has just compounded itself. I'm going to need your assistance. Do you still have the 'no droids allowed' policy in the cantina?"

    "Always an adventure with you, Tak," Mel'losh laughed.

    ***

    Serbious looked around the room, surprised not to find Tak and the Twi'lek girl. She sipped apprehensively at her drink, sensing someone was watching, yet not knowing from where. A Selkath waiter approached her. "Do you need something, fish?" she asked rudely, "I'm looking for someone."

    "Someone has asked for your presence," the waiter spoke politely. "If you will follow me?"

    "No," she responded angrily, "I will not follow you and if you do not leave this instant I will have fried fish for lunch!"

    "Of course, as you say," the waiter replied. He quickly retreated behind the bar and back into the lower level kitchen. "I tried," Mel'losh reported to Tak.

    "Yes my friend, you did," Tak responded. He sighed. "Well, I tried to warn her. Time is wasting, I'll have to go in there myself. Would you make sure the other thing is prepared?"

    "Sure thing," Mel'losh replied, taking off his apron. "I didn't fancy going back in there, even with a Jedi for a friend. That's one savage Grimorian Tiger you've got on your hands," he chuckled as he left and Tak couldn't help but laugh too.

    Tak leapt from behind the bar, startling Serbious for a moment. As soon as he appeared he knew where the enemy was. Without a word to his companion he reached out with the Force; in the corner of the cantina a cloaked form danced and shook, then fell silent.

    Serbious jumped up from her stool to watch as another cloaked figure at the door ran outside. It's heavy feet clanked along the ground. "Let's go after it!" she yelled. She tried to run but felt a strong hand grab her arm.

    "Think before you act. It's running to
     
  24. lost_jedii

    lost_jedii Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 30, 2005
    Wow Master, excellent story! =D= =D= =D= It is so suspenseful and meaningful, yet some of the dialogue between the characters is comical and lightens things up (S8! [face_laugh]). Tak is a very interesting character, and so is Serbious. I really liked how you told her story, how you showed that the Sith have good sides too, and that many did not choose the path their lives have taken.

    If it isn't too much trouble could you please PM me with updates? :)
     
  25. BrightFeather

    BrightFeather Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2005
    Well done! More soon, please?
     
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