Before Negligent Navigator--Obi-wan humorfic vignette--Link to the Anakin sequel posted 9/23

"Name?"

"Obi-wan Kenobi."

"Age?"

"Sixteen."

"Identification number?"

The human barely came up to his chest, even at his height, but Obi-Wan found him inexplicably intimidating. Perhaps it was his stalking gait or the way he barked out each question that made him uneasy.

Or maybe it was the fact that he had a habit of navigating with a whack of the walking stick in a way that would make Yoda envious.

At any rate, he fell under the category of people whose very nature required Obi-Wan to turn into a meek murrit.

"197588515," he recited in a small voice in the aftermath of another strike with the walking stick.

"Very good," the man barked. "I am Rufur Sufus..."

The blow that came in the wake of Obi-wan's involuntary snicker made him question whether he'd be able to walk in the next year.

"And I will be your driving examination supervisor."

"Yes, sir," Obi-Wan croaked.

"Now, you will be testing on the XP-17?"

"That is correct," Qui-Gon supplied, mercifully diverting Sufus' attention for a moment. "He is also qualified on..."

"He will test on the XP-17," Sufus snapped. "No arguments or I'll have to immediately fail him for lack of cooperation with a government official."

"Yes, sir," they chorused.

Five minutes later, Obi-Wan vaulted over the side of the speeder, landing in the pilot's seat.

"Improper entry of the vehicle, potential damage to..."

"Padawan," Qui-Gon said patiently, "there is a door for a reaon."

"Sorry, Master," Obi-Wan said with a grin. "There's usually not enough time..."

"That is irrelevant."

"I even remember that one time on Corellia when we had to skydive a hundred meters to land on another speeder..."

"Padawan," Qui-Gon said sharply, "you're not helping matters."

He waved the passkey through the ignition, but Sufus slapped the override.

"You have broken three Republic laws in one motion," he snapped.

"What?!"

"Crash restraints are to be in place at all times, mirrors are to be adjusted prior to ignition, and foot is to be on the brake release to ensure that the vehicle is under control at the time of ignition."

"We don't have time for..."

"PADAWAN!"

"There is always time to be a dutiful driver, but you seem to have spent the last three months of your supervised practice..."

"Three years," Obi-Wan protested. "I've been flying cover since..."

"Underage driving?" Sufus exclaimed.

"Filed under proper Extenuating Circumstance documentation," Qui-Gon assured the little man, giving Obi-Wan the equivalent of a telepathic smack upside the head.

"I'll have to mark this on your record, nonetheless..."

Obi-Wan waved a hand dismissively while fastening the crash restraint. "YOu don't need to..."

"AND NO MIND TRICKS, PADAWAN!"

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said dutifully, but did a slight alteration to make sure Sufus didn't remember the attempt.

"All right," Sufus said in a more docile tone, "pull into the lane of traffic, then parallel park between those two Coruscant Constabulary vehicles."

Obi-Wan's eyes bulged. "Are you kidding?"

"I'm Akurnesan," the man sneered. "I'm not bred for my sense of humor."

"Would I get extra points for being a fellow Akurnesan?" Obi-Wan said hopefully.

"Since I don't believe that you should be off-world, it would work to your disadvantage," Sufus informed him. "If you're done trying to curry favor, if you could possibly pull into..."

Obi-Wan made the necessary adjustments, then keyed the ignition once more and swerved wildly into traffic, then pumped the brake hard before backing towards the space.

Nice and easy.

CRUNCH.

He had been so concerned with remembering to watch his rear that he'd forgotten to take care with the front end.

"Approximately five thousand credits worth of damage," Sufus assessed coldly, "plus the customary thirty thousand credits for vandalizing a government vehicle."

This is why I hate flying.

"I've failed then?"

"Oh, no," Sufus smirked. "I'm eager to see what else you call exemplary driving

LOL, this was based on my worst fears about the driving test and some real-life experience (the part about parallel parking between two cop cars is what they make you do in Boston).

I'm jealous of Jemmiah -- that was hilarious Ish!

Lol, brilliant, Ishy

Thanks to you both and Layren, you got artwork for your b-day, stop being jealous.

Awww, Ish - thank you! Just what I needed to cheer me up! I've been suffering a bad case of writer's block. Hopefully your story will inspire me to wite a snapshot. Lol, especially at how Qui-Gon kept trying to keep Obi-Wan from making a bigger mess of things! All the poor padawan needs is to sit in on Jemmy's flying lessons and that would finish the chap off completely. She'd have him so dizzy and sick that Anakin's tricks would seem like nothing in comparison! Thanks for writing this for me!

Yes, poor Qui-Gon and trying to do damage control, I especially liked the mind-trick. And yes, Jemmy would be disastrous for the man.

CUte fic Ish. Lucky Jem, it's a nice birthday pressie.

Too funny Ish! Loved Obi trying to mind trick his way through it.

Jem... Lucky, lucky!

LOL I loved this!! I myself a teenager know how Obi-Wan feels, driving with an instructor can make you cause more errors cause of nervousness. Great write.

I frequently do story pressies, so if y'all tell me when it is and what sort of thing you'd like...

*Giggles*

<<"Filed under proper Extenuating Circumstance documentation," Qui-Gon assured the little man, giving Obi-Wan the equivalent of a telepathic smack upside the head.>>

What a lovely, lovely ficlet... Marvelously done, Ishtar.

Now I'm afraid to take my d.t. Bright side? There isn't likely going to be a section on parking between government vehicles. At least, I hope not.

LOL, unless you're from Massachusetts. My sisters never had to do it, but when I took my d.t. they had just switched the rule so that officers of the MA State Highway Patrol were the examiners and so they would make you parallel park between cop cars for your first exercize.

Hee hee, I loved this! What a horrible way to fail a driver's test, though. Poor Obi-Wan.

Well he did say that he hates flying

Ah, good. You got the reason for which I had this vignette idea. After that, anyone would hate flying.

boy, do I know how Obi feels!



Fantastic viggie!

If we sold Master Yoda and every Jedi into slavery, we might be able to foot the bill after three centuries of interest."

CRUNCH!
"This is why I hate flying."

Now we know the truth behind this line!

JOINME--boy, do I know how Obi feels!

Fantastic viggie!

If we sold Master Yoda and every Jedi into slavery, we might be able to foot the bill after three centuries of interest."

LOL, that gave me a plot bunny that I just might have to use, but yes, I think we all have a bit of Obi-Wan in us.

Star_Drifter--CRUNCH!
"This is why I hate flying."

Now we know the truth behind this line!

INdeed. Poor Obi!

*laughing hysterically*

It's like every 16 year old's nightmare come to life! You did a wonderful job with this; I was cringing with sympathy at every turn before laughing my head off!

Nice and easy...

CRUNCH

(MAJOR grimace) Oh, I am SO glad that didn't happen to me on my test...

"Three years," Obi-Wan protested. "I've been flying cover since..."

"Underage driving?" Sufus exclaimed.

"Filed under proper Extenuating Circumstance documentation," Qui-Gon assured the little man, giving Obi-Wan the equivalent of a telepathic smack upside the head.

"I'll have to mark this on your record, nonetheless..."

Obi-Wan waved a hand dismissively while fastening the crash restraint. "YOu don't need to..."

"AND NO MIND TRICKS, PADAWAN!"



Great job!
Stormqueen

Actually it was my 21-year-old nightmare, since I got my permit when I was 16, but was terrified to drive until I agreed to take the driving test just before I left to be a missionary. And most of this was based on my worst fears, rather than my actual experience, especially the parking between two cop cars. Thank you so much for reading.

My pleasure! I enjoy everything I've read by you, and this was no exception. (BTW, we're really spoiled in California. They don't make us parallel park; at least I didn't have to. And I know what you mean about being terrified of driving; I didn't get my liscence until I was practically 18. All of my friends were driving but me, so I was mooching rides left and right, and I took a lot of good natured teasing for it, but ehhh.)

Stormqueen

Obi-Wan waved a hand dismissively while fastening the crash restraint. "YOu don't need to..."

"AND NO MIND TRICKS, PADAWAN!"

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said dutifully, but did a slight alteration to make sure Sufus didn't remember the attempt.

Sly, aren't we Obi?


This is why I hate flying.

"I've failed then?"

"Oh, no," Sufus smirked. "I'm eager to see what else you call exemplary driving skills."

Blast blast blast blast.

Poor Obi-Wan

stormqueen874--My pleasure! I enjoy everything I've read by you, and this was no exception. (BTW, we're really spoiled in California. They don't make us parallel park; at least I didn't have to. And I know what you mean about being terrified of driving; I didn't get my liscence until I was practically 18. All of my friends were driving but me, so I was mooching rides left and right, and I took a lot of good natured teasing for it, but ehhh.)

I already want to do a sequel of Anakin's driving test, where Obi-Wan has been forbidden to teach him how to drive by the Republic due to Obi-Wan's horrifying ability to rack up charges on his driving record and as a result, he has no idea what he's getting himself into when Anakin has to take the test, but he has a lot of advice for him.

KnightTachi--Obi-Wan waved a hand dismissively while fastening the crash restraint. "YOu don't need to..."

"AND NO MIND TRICKS, PADAWAN!"

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said dutifully, but did a slight alteration to make sure Sufus didn't remember the attempt.

Sly, aren't we Obi?

As always.

This is why I hate flying.

"I've failed then?"

"Oh, no," Sufus smirked. "I'm eager to see what else you call exemplary driving skills."

Blast blast blast blast.

Poor Obi-Wan

LOL, indeed.