New Fan Film Soon : The Story Of Anya Secura

The Story of Anya Secura is set before A New Hope and somewhere after Episode 3. It centers on a Jedi padawan and a prisoner in their quest for identity and their loss of innocence (they search it Star Wars style ). To add to this story are real fine eye-candy and some fun excitement. As you can see, we don?t want just a duel in some distant forest.

I have recently uploaded the final draft to a tripod server. You can read it by clicking here: http://a_ht.tripod.com/script.htm. It would help a lot if you would leave some feedback. We are currently building the sets, making the costumes and finalizing the storyboards. At this point, I just want to know what you guys think of it.

 

This is kind of interesting... I've got two questions.

(1) What is Anya's relationship to Aayla Secura?

(2) You say that she's human in the script. But Aayla Secura is a blue Twi'lek girl. Now, I understand that it is hard to make a good-looking blue Twi'lek girl, unless you have a blue friend. ("Patience, my blue friend.") But maybe Anya's last name needs to be changed.

I mean, heck, the only reason I clicked this thread was to see if Aayla Secura was gonna be part of a fan film.




As for script comments... it's a little late for me to go in-depth, but:
? What is the "Galactic Federation"? Are you trying to imply the Empire?
? Revise Axon and Anya's first meeting. The questions they ask each other about the Jedi life versus the Kai life are too obviously structured to drag out necessary story and character info--y'know, "Let's tell the audience about the Kai!"... It needs to be more casual.
? I assume the "JEDI" character with dialogue during the duel is Anya?




Rick McCallum loves you!


Rick McCallum loves you!

 

I was confused at first by the Anya Secura. Maybe Aayla was adopted by the Secura family.

Well, I don't want to be a flamer, but you story needs some work. It is noble that you are writing a script, and trying hard to make something. I will give you my own interpretation of what I think

There are to many obvious rips from the rest of the series, and from a few other movies. It is fine for a start, but you have to start massaging it and putting your own twists on it.

Just in the beginning you have many plot holes. What was your Jedi craft doing, just meandering around space with nothing better to do? How did a ship come around and start shooting, undected? What is the mysterious Imperial war machine? How did they follow him into hyperspace? When did the Jedi decide to emerge from hyperspace? What indication did they have that this unchartted, or at least unnamed planet was their destination? I could go on through the whole draft.

Play it out in your head, read it to yourself. Take out the obvious bites "My very young padawan" "I only give it once.." type stuff. It is unprofessional.

Not trying to bag your work, just giving you constructive critism. The first reply had some valid questions also.

 

You a Voyager fan, a_ht?

 

Thanks guys. I accept your suggestions and you constructive critism.

AdamBertocci, it's my mistake, this story was supposed to be about Aalya Secura at first but, as you say, it's hard to make a realistic blue actor, so I decided that we would stay on the safe side and simply change the name. That way, both options are still open. Besides, the story doesn't focus around the specifics of Aalya's very own personal life so it could be about anyone in the know universe I guess. So there is no justification for her in it yet. We have a few ideas for a sequel but I won't get into that before that one gets released. Let's just say that there is definitly a relationship for the two... Anya is refered to a human in the script but she is Twi'lek. It's a typo error, a relic from a past draft. I'll correct it. I've also corrected the caracther refered to as JEDI and changed it to ANYA in the final combat, it was a mistake as you suspected. As for the galactic federation I actualy tough it was the name of the civilisation the senate and the Jedi order are bound to. Or is it simply the federation? Anyway, i'll check up on it... And for the "Kai" scene, i'll start working on it asap. You are right, it does sound to close to pure exposition. I'm thinking of adding a small scene where Anya gets to do an action that will show her "kai"'s strengh to Axon. So he'll have a reason to start the conversation... . But anything still possible.

Rikalonius, I know the story is very close to RETURN OF THE JEDI. I tried to make it different, but it just turned out to be too close to another story. And it was even more obvious. I know it's probably lazy for me to shake & bake the old twists but, here we are. As for the small recurrent plot holes you mentionned, you are right, I must make sure to patch them up. I guess my mind "added lines" to the script and filled those holes for me as I was reading it. For the obvious bites, consider them out the window. I just hope I don't replace them with more obvious stuff. The line "i'll only offer it once" will be removed entierly and I will rephrase the other one. Hey, if you find anymore, please post them, It'll do me a big service. I prefer to know before the film is over.

Ryan_W, quiet!!!
nono, I'm just kidding. My script may have been inspired from a particular voyager episode. Who knows?

well, thanks guys for replying.

 

Why would it be hard to make a realistic blue character? The head things wouldn't be very hard and all you need is some nice blue dye or make up for the blueness.. c'mon people it can't be THAT hard, if you really wanna do it anyway..

 

There was a feature on SW.com on how they inserted Aalaya into the film.. I'm not sure if they used paint or post production to change skin pigment.

 

I've just tried post-production on a normal skin Aalya to a blue skin Aalya using a picture from the official web site.
That's the picture: image 1

At first, I tried to change the pictures color value. You can't just paint over it cause you will loose your shadows and it will be goofy looking. So I adjusted the colors. Here's the result. image 2


The cloths changed too and so did the background. Therefore I rotroscoped it. Here's the final product. image 3


There you have it. It even looks better than I expected. Note that the arms has slightly different color tones in its inner part than outer part. That because I applied an adjusment layer and I slip by with rotroscoping. Therefore I added another layer and I add to duplicate with color ajustment but I was too pissed off to check the exact adjustment and I estimated instead... The point is, it can still be better.

Thanks guy for you suggestion about that. All in all, if this doesn't work the way I want it to work, I could always put make up on my actress.

Now, back to the script. Is there anyone else you would like to comment?

 

Glad to be of help.. however you may still need to get your hands on a Twi'lek headdress. Prehaps you could make one out of paper mache'

 

I'm not criticizing you at all... I would just like to say that I hate Star Trek. heheh...

I look foward to your Star Wars version of the inspired story you have in mind!

 

Theres a better way to do that....if you have photoshop I can show you

 

There is a body paint, often used by obesse NFL fans intent on standing half naked in an open air stadium in the middle of winter. It turns to a very latex like finish that can be peeled off. It has been used to decorate women in mens magazines also. Anyway, you can use it on your Aayla actress. It is my opinion that it would be more contrasting to use the paint instead of post-production blueing. You would have to green screen her parts though. You would have to design a head dress that included the lekku, but hey, Fan Films aren't suppose to be easy. I'm sure there is a plethora of stage and costume make-ups in the world that would do the trick also.

I've been playing with the lekku in lightwave to incorporate into Poser for Vickie, so maybe I could help with some stunt shots. If your script is right, and I know your serious about the film.

 

A number of people on the Costuming Forum have made really good T'wilek costumes using stuffed pantyhose and latex caulking applied with a credit card.

They've also done body paint, which isn't that hard, but I don't know how expensive.

Go to the costuming board, there you will learn from Admiral_Daala, the costuming master who instructed me.

Sauja

 

Okay, I haven't read the script yet, but just to go off comments in this thread first:

1) The Galactic Federation is Star Trek.

The Galactic REPUBLIC is Star Wars.

2) If you're using Photoshop or AfterEffects, a new paint layer in Screen mode will change the color while preserving highlight and shadow.

I will now read the script.

EDIT: Okay, here's my nitpicks. Spoilers ahead.

1) You do not argue with the Emperor. He tells you what you want, you say yes Master. That's it.

Not only that, but the argument is unnecessary. The Emperor wants her. The Man seems to think the Emperor needs convincing ("She's inexperienced, but she could become powerful"). Then in his next line he second-guesses the Emperor again. This whole scene was just wandering. It could probably even be cut.

2) A master should not say "wanna".

3) Was Anya eating at the controls? I thought it was in a separate room, but when she gets "back" in her chair, suddenly it's the cockpit.

4) MASTER
I know you don?t.

ANYA
I do I swear.

MASTER
I know you do. I?m just teasing you.

...WHAT?! Were you just killing time until the nav computer tracked the coordinates?

Don't. Just skip straight to the computer beep unless you have something important going on.

5) The camera lens gets wet (CGI effects, of course).

No. Don't write this kind of thing in the script.

6) They make a few passes over the lake then they get out of view but the camera still films the lake. As the water progressively gets less agitated and returns to normal, some fish are floating to the surface upside down.

Again, don't mention "the camera." also, is there any reason to show the dead fish? Does this detail that being so close under a ship will kill you come back?

7) Its physical condition is more than adequate. Muscle flexibility and reflex speed shows also more than adequate. Fighting skills are, of course, way above average.

MAN
Excellent! She is now particularly vulnerable.

From what the scientist just said, "vulnerable" wouldn't be the first adjective I'd go with.

8) Tall and imposing prisoners who are dirty due to the long years they?ve been there are overcrowding the place.

Classic example of overwriting. How about "Tall and dirty prisoners overcrowd the place"? The audience will extrapolate what the dirt is from just fine without you holding their hand.

9) Where does Axon come from? Just suddenly starts talking.

10) We see that the planet is a single manufacturing facility.

We do? The whole planet?

11) She stayed up all night thinking and meditating on her inevitable combat.

We don't see this happen. They don't say it out loud. There's no reason to mention it. This is a script, not a novel.

12) Axon is already in the air with is light saber in is hand

Hold on now. Lightsaber? There were NO indications that the Kai fought with sabers.

And were they both permitted to carry their lightsabers in prison? The warden's gonna get fried extra-crispy if any of the prisoners ever have the sense to use them.

13) It is only in death that I can redeem myself.

I'm sorry, for what again?

14) he punches the emperor in the face

I hope you intend this to be comedic, because there's no way I'll be able to watch this without laughing.

The Emperor didn't become the Emperor by being stupid. He wouldn't have fallen for this. Frankly I'm not even sure what just happened.

15) Axon then lands rolling over the techs, knocking them unconscious. They take a space craft and fly to the stars.

Um...what? I'm lost.

An interesting start, but I wouldn't call it the final draft were I in your position.

M. Scott

 

Dear fellow fans,

I just thought I would post an update on the film's progress. I have retouched the first act.

At this point, the costumes, the cgi environment and space crafts and the second draft of the script are completed. But we are looking for an experienced writer to turn our second draft into a final draft. You can read the second draft at this address : http://a_ht.tripod.com/script.htm

Many people on the project have lots of experience and degrees in cinematography and motion pictures in general, we also have professional computer artists and some fine piece of equipment (i.e. camera, lenses, lighting, studio, etc.). The type of writer we are looking for has, ideally, already written some fan fiction (Star wars fan fictions are a plus but not absolutely required) and has the available time on his hands to complete the editing process in a few week. In exchange of your services, you will be awarded a screenwriter/script editor credit for the film (note that this film is non-profit).

Although this is the first time we make a Star Wars Fan film, we have started and completed a great number of similar projects in the past therefore you can be assured your work will not go in vein because the movie will definitely see the light of day. Note that if you only have a few hours a day to spend to this project, perhaps you'll be better off waiting until it comes out. Don't slow us down!

The best thing to do next is to read the script and send us an e-mail at a_ht@hotmail.com to let us know if you are interested and the time frame in witch you plan to write the script. You have written a lot about Star Wars. Wouldn't it be nice to see your work been made into an actual film?