Abq New Rep

Discussion in 'SouthWest Region Discussion' started by SithLordAaron, Dec 17, 2003.

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  1. Lorithavon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2003
    star 3
    OK, lets be honest no really gets along with me. All the new CR has to do is tolerate me. Some thing it seams Varza has infinite patience with, basically you email me what you want on the website to mosalba@redlor.net and I throw it up. Within a week or two, and hopefully it's not out of date by then.

    Unless one one else wants to throw hours upon hours of their life away doing the website... ok, so maybe nor that much but minutes for sure!

    on a serious note I think a Co-CR is a good idea. and if Varza isn't too busy maybe she could do it? what do you say Varza?

    -lor
  2. debeautimous Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2003
    star 4
    Well I for one would like a few things about the group spelled out. I believe that it is the parents responsibity to protect their minor children. The format is obviously pg not g. I am tired of walking on eggshells because we have one consistent minor member. I am not going to be part of a group that is not fun. This should be a stress relief. If you want to do the same things as the big city group fine but be respectful of other people that don't share your same ideals. I know this post is going to sound harsh but I am not going to close my eyes to the problems and sugar coat everything. I expect to be able to disagree without being ostracized. I don't appreciate being scolded as if I was five years old. I would like to see a rep that is able to see all angles of the group and not just tunnel vision. I have been in this group long enough to see that if something doesn't change we are going to lose members. IMO that is ridiculous. I would say this at the meeting but I have to work and I believe it needs to be said. I have appreciated a lot of what you have done for the group Varza. I think the website is awesome. I think the meetings have gone well for the most part but I am not sure if you are aware of how controlling you come across. Again I know you well enough to know your heart isn't like that. For you you are trying to do the best job possible and I understand that. I don't want you to feel a pesonal attack because I think you are a sweet person. If this was just my own opinion I wouldn't say anything and I would find a group that fits my needs but I believe there are other members that feel the same way. We are a very small group at the moment and I would like to see all the great stuff Varza did continue as well as enough change to suit everyone's needs. Again I apologize if I came across too harsh. This is a hard line to walk because if I sugar coat everything then the problem won't be adressed but I also risk hurting people that I care about. I guess what I would like to see is the structure without the over - control.
  3. Redgek Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 1999
    star 3
    Thank you for the CD, Lor. Very nice.
  4. BrotherHalo RSA Emeritus and Heckler

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2003
    star 5
    Yeah, I forgot to mention that, Lor. Excellent CD, <Mr. Burns>excellent</Mr. Burns>
  5. varza Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2002
    star 4
    fine I am controllilng. I had to be to get things done. I put one rule down to protect the minor in the group and that was no acholol at group activities. I don't care if anyone drinks.

    I had a feeling I was doing a crappy job as CR but no one I mean no one talked to me about it.

    I am moving up my date of resigning to today. I just need to get out and not have to worry about it. The next month I will be working 7 days a week 15 hours a day. I don't care if I am being rash.

    As for staying with the group I am quitting completely for the next few months. I may come back I may not.

    I am so glad I lost sleep and gained all my weight back stressing about the group. Sorry that was rude.

    I did edit this message because I said some harsh things I should of. Maybe I should do that for the last post I made as well. I didn't mean to sound rude there. Its just I had to respond from the view of being CR.

    I am not sure if it matters but I will put my full weight behind BrotherHalo for the next rep. I think he would be a great CR and maybe handle it better then I have in the long run. And I feel that Wook would be a great co-rep for him.
  6. Gecko_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2003
    star 4
    Varza,
    I do not want to see you leave the group....you are a valued member that needs to stay here. I really enjoyed hanging with you the other day and I would hate to see you leave!

    -Jess
  7. varza Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2002
    star 4
    I don't want to leave either but I am just tired.

    I just need a break from the group. I may show up now and again but I can't be active... for now. I will post on the boards from time to time as well. Like I said I think I just need a break.

    Doesn't mean we can't hang out otherwise either. I will be in town more often with working at the 2nd store 3 days a week and going to school every thursday night.
  8. BrotherHalo RSA Emeritus and Heckler

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2003
    star 5
    Whoa, nelly! Okay, this is starting to get outta control, here.

    I think everyone needs to chill out, and just relax. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. In the famous words of Frank Costanza, "SERENITY NOW!"

    Okay.

    First, Varza, don't leave the group. You are a part of it. We're allowed to have spats, we're human. But we can't let it splinter the group. Let's work through it.

    Varza, I don't think that deb was trying to attack you. Or do you guys need to go to your rooms?

    Okay, I'll be back in a minute... (gosh darn work!)
  9. debeautimous Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2003
    star 4
    Varza the few times that I have mentioned things to you I felt that you took it as a personal attack instead of trying to change the behavior. Even now I know your feelings are hurt but I did not say you did a bad job as CR. I just feel that in your enthusiasm you unintentionally went overboard. This is suppose to be fun. The problem I have had is telling me what can be done at parties at my own house. My personal opinion is that this is a parental guidance forum. That means the parents have the responsibility to view what their children are reading and doing at these meetings. If something turns into a R then by all means step in but from I have seen there are things shown on daytime television that are much worse than anything here. I f someone is being inappropriate to any minor member by all means step in. But my own personal experience has been one of you deciding how things are done. I know that I certainly opened a can of worms but I guess the way I feel is I would rather you understand the problems I have had then just leave and you not know why. I don't want you to leave Varza again there are so many great things you have done and just the person you are. But as ugly as this may seem if we can come to an understanding and work thru it as adults I think the whole group will be better off.
  10. debeautimous Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2003
    star 4
    Varza please take a break and think about what I have said as a whole not just the part that hurt you. Again I would have done this at the meeting but I can't be there. Maybe this is better anyway so that everyone has a chance to cool down. I think just the fact that you stressed out so much about this shows the intensity that you have put into it. I am not attacking you personally. I have appreciated many of the things you have done. I love you! You are a sweet person. I tried to say this more diplomatically but if you noticed the post you made after that you basically did not understand what I was trying to say. I am sorry this came across so harshly that was not my intention.
  11. BrotherHalo RSA Emeritus and Heckler

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2003
    star 5
    I think what we need here is a group hug. Okay? Anyone? No? Okay...
  12. varza Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2002
    star 4
    All i said deb was that if it was going to be a group activity a Mos Alba Party at deb's to please to not have liquer there. It would be open to everyone and that includes minors. If for some reason a minor came and drank at your house it would be a 4th degree felony. This was more to protect you more then the group. LadyN is not the only minor. She is the main active minor in the group but not the only one.

    Yes the parents are in charge of watching their children. But if they are not there then it is the CR's job to watch out for them and their welfare-as well as all the members. I care about the members-probably too much-but I have seen what happens when the person in charge does not do their job correctly.

    If I remember correctly you asked me about the party and other activities. I don't care what you do at your own home or anywhere else. I just wanted to make every group label acticity avaible to everyone. If you have a party at your house and want to have liguer by all means do but I can tell you some members wouldn't come and probably shouldn't. I for one am one of those becuase of my own views. I can not be around liquer.

    There has only been one time that there was a problem between members on this board. That was the only time I stepped in between. I do not care conflict and I hate having to do many things.

    I am leaving not becuase of certain situations. I am leaving because of you deb. I have felt that you attack me whenever you can if I am not in agreement with you on everything. I don't care how people take this but I have been made to feel that unless I did almost everyone's bidding I was a crappy person. I can not make every person happy in the group. And deb I have felt that unless you were at every event it shouldn't happen. I am also in this group for fun. But it is fun for the members but not always for the CR.


    Good bye.
  13. debeautimous Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2003
    star 4
    Varza I expect you to have a higher level of maturity than this. Everything that you just said shows me that instead of being willing to understand you want to turn it around like it is a personal attack. If I have a party at my house I am 36 years old and I will be responsible for telling all members what will happen in my home including parents of any minor members. The CR is not responsible for what happens in my home. It is interesting how you went from no one ever told me to now I am the one being controling. Once again I* AM NOT PERSONALLY ATTACKING YOU! I LOVE YOU ALLYSON! Please calm down and consider what I am really saying.
  14. BrotherHalo RSA Emeritus and Heckler

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2003
    star 5
    Alrighty, I think both deb and varza need to really just calm down and stop posting for a bit. Everyone needs to just step back and try to look at it from each other's perspective.

    In this current situation, Deb wants to be able to do certain things that Varza doesn't agree with. Varza doesn't agree with what Deb wants to do because of certain beliefs by other members.

    If something is going to be done under the banner of Mos Alba, then there ought to be guidelines we should set. If someone wants to do something not under the Mos Alba banner, then there shouldn't be any restrictions, other than what the parties responsible deem. Right?
  15. debeautimous Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2003
    star 4
    Well from what I can see this is going no where. So since I am the one who disagrees I am the one who will leave. I am only part of this group for stress relief and fun. I have no desire to be part of something that is as serious as what you are describing. I am not mad at anyone I am just making a choice that is best for me.
  16. Wook Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2002
    star 4
    Just have to step in now - I think everyone is really stressed...this has been a hard year for a lot of us - especially Deb & Varza. I think both of you contribute your uniqueness to the group and I don't think it is a good idea to make a decision about anything right now with the emotions that are running so high right now. I think we should all take a break until after the holidays - enjoy it - take a breather. We don't have to decide anything at this moment..including staying/leaving/reps whatever...
  17. BrotherHalo RSA Emeritus and Heckler

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2003
    star 5
    I wholeheartedly agree with Wook on this. This time of a year is stressful on some people as it is. We need to take a break. Start afresh in January. At this time, it would be disappointing for anyone to leave the group. So please, Varza, Deb, don't leave.
  18. Lorithavon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2003
    star 3
    Man look at all the fun I miss when I sleep till noon.

    let me see if I can figure out what is going on, deb wanted to have a Mos Alba party with alcohol, Varza said that she couldn't have a Mos Alba party with alcohol because we have a few members who are under the age of 21. And they would have to be excluded from said party even though they are members of Mos Alba. Deb says that this a PG group, not a G group. Witch I think is a fair assessment, we are not a G group. But alcohol is not a PG substance it is an NC-21 substance, witch means you can buy porn before you can buy alcohol, you only have to be 18 to buy porn. So with deb's point of view I could have a party with alcohol and have porno playing in the background and it would be OK as long as the minors in the group don't watch, and their parents should be there to make sure their kids don't drink or watch the porno. Maybe my analogy is a bit off but legally speaking you don't have to as old to watch porn as you have to be to imbue alcohol.

    Obvious I agree with Varza on the matter of NO alcohol, and any official Mos Alba Event. Not to say you cant have a get together where alcohol is involved and invite Mos Alba members, but you have to make sure you NOT-invite any members who are not of age and tell them that they are not welcome at this particular gathering. Maybe unless they bring a parent or legal guardian.

    I have spent enough time with Lady Naberrie to know that she is fiercely ANTI-alcohol and doesn't want to be around people who are drinking, and if she happened to end up at a party where there was alcohol she could be trusted not to "get in to it" but most teen agers don't share the same views as her.

    I would also like to thank Brother Halo and Wook for trying to keep the peace, and that is why I thought that either one of you would make a fine replacement for Varza

    -lor
  19. debeautimous Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2003
    star 4
    First off I do not appreciate the way this has all turned around like what I had to say had no valid point. I have every right to have a party at my house in which I as the adult is responsible legally and morally for what goes on there. I have never wanted an official "party" But I was made to feel that I don't have a right to do that. If you are going to act like I have somehow joined the army and I am to bow down to General Varza and Lt. Lor. you have another thing coming. I have tried to be civil and diplomatic but I do not appreciate the condescending remarks from any of you. This is exactly the problem I was trying to address. Whenever someone disagrees they are ostracized. This attitude is complete garbage. I apologize to the other members that have been upset by all this but I do not apologize for bringing an obvious problem to light. I will not be part of a group that is this blatantly disrespectful!!
  20. Lorithavon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2003
    star 3
    What Varza a general? and me a Lt.?

    actually Varza is like the president, who commands the generals...

    That is why the president is called the Commander and Chief.

    and I thought I was the puppet master? not a lowly Lt.

    and who ever is the new CR they will be like the president, too imposing the greater good.

    -lor
  21. BrotherHalo RSA Emeritus and Heckler

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2003
    star 5
    Yikes.

    Deb, nobody is trying to be disrespectful. Nobody is telling you what you can or can't do in your own home. I think we just had a communication failure here.

    But I also understand your point, deb. This group shouldn't be strictly maintained or policed. But we do have to be respectful of everyone's wishes for OFFICIAL events. Jeez, if someone wanted to host a cross-dressing party, then we'd have to just work that out with the group, deciding whether or not it should be an official or non-official event.

    This is supposed to be a fun, stress relieving group. We should be able to do that in whatever way we are comfortable. But we should also be mindful about how our group is represented by its members and by our public events.

    I guess I can't stress that enough. In the public face, Mos Alba needs to have a unified agreement. In private events, it shouldn't be an issue with the group at all. In fact, non-Mos Alba events shouldn't be a group problem - just a logistical problem by the host. I think that fact is what needs to be conveyed to all parties attending the functions.

    I'm trying to keep this as general as possible, because this shouldn't just be about having alcohol at a dinner or party, just like you've been trying to say, deb. I think we just all need to be aware of what goes on at functions, whether it's sanctioned or non-sanctioned.

    In specific terms, if Deb wants to have a party at her house where alcohol will be served, then she should, and everyone ought to be aware of it and it should not be an official Mos Alba event (just like you were trying to say, deb). This is because several members have voiced their aversion to it.

    I think that as the group grows, so will our "guidelines".

    And Lor, what rank would a puppetmaster hold?
  22. BrotherHalo RSA Emeritus and Heckler

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2003
    star 5
    Oh, also, I just want to make it clear that I'm not trying to impose my will over anyone here. I've only been part of the group since this summer. I've only been able to attend a couple of meetings and the dinner. But I do know that I enjoy the company of the members of Mos Alba and would hate to see anything negative happen to this group. I want to see this group thrive and grow.
  23. sideshow212 Former RSA

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2002
    star 4
    basically, it comes down to this. when you have an OFFICIAL fanforce event, the CR is the one responsible.
    you can't have a club that is open to everyone and then have official club events that exclude members.
    i would suggest that you keep the official group activities "family friendly", and if you wish to drink, do so at another time/location/event.

    varza, IMO you've done a good job, and i'm sorry to see you go.

    if anyone needs clarification on the fanforce rules, i'm at your disposal.
  24. LadyNaberrie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 7, 2002
    star 4
    The format is obviously pg not g. I am tired of walking on eggshells because we have one consistent minor member. I am not going to be part of a group that is not fun


    Whoa whoa whoa here!!!!!!!!!! I have missed most of this argument BUT I am not about to go out and join a fan force where people just want to drink all the time!!!! Sorry if I ruined this for SOME of you!! Maybe things would be BETTER if I left so you guys could go around and drink! :( I joined this fan force simply so I could share my love of Star Wars with others who love Star Wars, if you're tried of "walking on eggshells" just because I am a minor and A) I don't choose to drink and B) I'm too young to drink then you should have thought about that before you joined. Sorry for wasting your time because you had to "walk on eggshells"

    Thanks for hurting my feelings Deb :(

    edit: And Varza please don't leave! You have been there for me in times of need! Also Lor, you are not hated, least not by me! see you all Sunday!
  25. Redgek Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 1999
    star 3
    This is not about adult beverages. It's about people who don't communicate well with each other, which is not uncommon. It will pass.
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