JCC New Years Resolutions

I post, therefore I care.

 

How old are you?

 

20

 

Wow

 

Cool.

 

My only annual New Year's resolution is to avoid all resolutions. Making promises you can't keep is very foolish.

 

Oh you're using that incorrect version of "Couldn't care less", I see. Neat.

 

Keep shedding my fat ass, and being less nice.

 

I intend to renounce Satan, and all his works.... maybe....

 

Buy more guns.

 

I know right?

 

Lord of Vivec already covered this point extensively. You should try to make more timely thread interventions next year.

 

It sure wouldn't be the JCC if a thread isn't hijacked by a grammar debate, amirite?

 

I'm 154 days sober today; my resolution is to make that number 520.

 

I have every intention of holding up my coffee consumption through 2014 to match my 2013 levels.

 

I resolve to drink more Scotch Whisky, eat more red meat, and go broke again buying Legos 11 months from now. Also I resolve to ****block my co-worker at trade shows when he tries to pick up nasty women at hotel bars.

 

Congratulations! I am finishing my 6th year without a drink. My resolution is to continue that trend.

 

I have decided for the new year I am going to end more sentences with prepositions. I dunno, its the only thing I could think of.

 

Well I sent a email to the NY quitters line about an idea. That every time you buy a new car or used in NY state you can get a free starter pack to quit smoking if you want to. Since you killed one vehicle interior at least you wont kill another. You wouldn't believe the tar I have seen on some windshields on the inside. Its so bad you have to really tile cleaner to clean it off. So everyone here who smokes I hope you think of your family and friends and your car and stop smoking.

 

My resolution is to drink more wine and gain a better appreciation for it. Also, find a brand of beer that I like because I'm too embarrassed to appreciate Redd's Apple Ale.

 

i'm gonna take a lotta naps, drink a lotta juice, get down tonight. get down tonight.

 

My resolution: I will only post one-sentence comments in the JC, but they may ramble or take unexpected turns a la Faulkner or Molly Bloom's soliloquy from "Ulysses"; they may use dirty tricks like semicolons to avoid the full stop, or they may simply eschew punctuation entirely and take long meandering paths through my stream of consciousness which reminds me of my trip to Manhattan last week it was 65 degrees in New York City in late December if you can believe that and my family and I walked to Rockefeller Plaza to see the Christmas tree and the ice rink but the weather had brought out perhaps 100,000 other people to the plaza with the same idea although these were probably mostly tourists like us since New Yorkers like to call the Plaza Christmas tree the world's biggest ***hole magnet and indeed the amount of crowding and shoving that was going on was more in keeping with say being in the stands of a Manchester United match than the holiday spirit and we were unable to penetrate to within about 50 yards of the tree before the crowd became a solid mass of unyielding people and no amount of poking or prodding them or even saying excuse me could bring us an inch closer not to mention the difficulty of trying to watch my ADD nephews and make sure they didn't lose themselves entirely in the mob as they would have liked to do and the one good thing about the outing was when we finally emerged from the Plaza and I accidentally jostled a man walking down the street and I looked at him and it was Adrien Brody wearing a grey knit cap and trying to be all incognito but no one on earth looks more precisely like Adrien Brody than Adrien Brody who has no more chance of looking inconspicuous on the Streets of New York than would the Elephant Man or Ru Paul.

 

Ugh I'm having horrific flashback of freshman year Reading Fiction 101 when I had to read Absalom, Absalom by Bill Faulkner.