Newbie Welcome Party!! Newbies come and have fun!

*The rumbling becomes a high pitched roar as a black speeder-bike comes flying through the fence and skims over the pool, sending water spraying everywhere. The black clad rider skids (which is almost impossible on a vehicle with no tyres) to a halt at the side of the pool and hops off his bike, which hovers in mid air silently.*

Anyone seen that bumbling apprentice of mine? I told him to be back from the party for his bed time but you know these teenagers. So immature and irresponsible...

 

*scolded look from Malice as he arrives in his mini-Death Star*

Grrr. I am here, master. And thank you for bailing me out of jail. Now we can wreak havoc on these party animals!

*points mini-Death Star at the Pizza Palace*

I told you I wouldn't come back alone! Yoda was right! There are always two! Ha-ha-ha! That shield generator will do you no good now, you singing Chuck E Cheese bears!

 

*Darth Lookas kicks Darth Malice's over-grown space hopper out from under him, sending it bouncing into the pool.*

Please stop that. Its not a real death star, it was just painted to look like one. And that bail came out of your allowance. I won't have my apprentices spying on nice looking girls!

 

*deleted*

 

Master, you've just destroyed my foundation for everything I believed in! The Death Star wasn't real! Now I'm angrier - and meaner - than ever!

*brings out lightsaber*

*assumes Darth Maul stance*

*collective gasp from the party, assuming it to be a double-ended lightsaber*

*lightsaber extends in a circular motion, until the blade circles..back to the handle?!?*

Ha Ha Ha! It's not just a lightsaber! It's a light-hoola-hoop! Mwa ha ha!

*mumbles to self*: But, how can I use this thing...Master Lookas didn't teach me how to properly use it...Seems more dangerous to me than anybody else...

 

Nice going, Malice, you went and posted under your old name. Do that again and I'll consider you a lightsider and hunt you down!

*casually pushes a button on the speeder-bike, sending a shot from its front flying into the dunking-thingy-target-thing.*

Hehe. You may fall when ready.

 

*falls into dunking booth*

*light-hoola-hoop shorts out in the water*


Sorry, Master Lookas. Received too many blows to the hit by floating asteriods around Kessel!

*dries off light-hoola-hoop, and reactivates it*

*aims light-hoola-hoop toward Pizza Palace (and those singing bears), but stops*

*hears singing bears singing, "Let's Do the Twist", by Chubby Checkers*

*looks at light-hoola-hoop, and considers using it in conjuction with the song*

*thinks better of it when he realizes using light-hoola-hoop would end him up like Darth Maul*

 

**rumages around a clostet, that she found before Jedi Tin-Buk Tu turned into Darth Malice**

**Crawls out, un-aware that Jedi Tin-Buk Tu has turned to Darth Malice**

Hey, look what I found!!!!

**Presents her findings, a box with the word Twister on it with a picture of people having lots of fun**

Dose anyone want to play??

Jedi Tin-Buk Tu?? Will you play?? Afterwards we can have a hola-hoop contest. I found alot of those in that closet.

**point to closet**

 

*Senoj falls on the ground next to the pool laughing hysterically*

Darth Malice...err....I mean...Darth Lookas...uh whatever your name is, you are sooooo funny!

"If you build it, he will come..."

LOL! That was hysterical.

But this must stop! I can't let you crash my party...

So, I underestimate the powers of the dark side, do I? I think there is someone here who underestimates the anger of a host who is having her party crashed by weird forms of George Lucas! It was OK when you just had Darth Malice, but Darth Lookas! Now things are getting a little carried away....

*Pulls out another hoola hoop lightsaber and turns it on.*

Prepare to do battle!

To be continued...

 

So...does this mean my singing bears are safe?

*grin*

 

Hey, kid! Put that weapon away. Hoola hoop lightsabers are no match for some handy plaster at your side.

 

Isn't that supposed to be "blaster?"

 

What? Can you just be quiet, kid? No, I said plaster and I mean plaster. Now look. How do you think a hoola hoop lightsaber is going to get rid of Darth Lookas? It isn't. The only way you are going to get him out of here is if you scare him out of here. Watch and learn. First we plaster his mouth shut.

*Grabs Darth Lookas and puts a bunch of plaster all over his face*

There. That should keep him quiet. Now, doesn't Darth Lookas only pay attention to computer graphics in his movies? Well, instead, lets talk to him about good acting for a couple of hours. That will scare him off.

 

Thanks for the help JonesSolo...

I guess sometimes a scoundrel's methods works best. Now what about Darth_Malice?

 

A scoundrel's method always works best, kid.

Darth Malice, you say? Hmmmm.... I've got a bad feeling about this. Doesn't seem like the sort of chap you would want to fool around with. Malice....

Well, if Darth Lookas was that easy to get rid of, Darth MALICE can't be much harder. Personally, I think the guy is insecure myself. Why else would he have the name MALICE? Probably trying to hide something with a name like that.

Well, I'll put him to work on the Millennium Hummingbird. Yes, the Millennium HUMMINGBIRD. That should keep him busy for a while. Now that I've taken care of this mess, I need to fly back to Sockland. I'm missing out on all the good gambling.

 

*returns from curfew enforce by Master Lookas, complaining*

Hey! Where did Master Lookas go? I guess he had to go wash that plaster off his face.

Stranded in space, read my sig. The name "Tin-Buk Tu" "no longer holds any meaning for me". And neither do the games that Tu played...well, except for the hoola-hoop...if I could find one that was safe to play with...in the meantime...

*pulls out light-hoola-hoop*

JediSenoj, Master Lookas and I are indeed two seperate entities. He used to be "anakin_skywalker_sct", but he turned to the dark side when Padme turned him down once too often. Not soon after, he recruited me when the Jedi council refused to let me bring a hoola-hoop into the Council chamber. Now, if it's a battle you want, it's a battle you get. But, uh, if you'll excuse me. I still don't know how to use this thing properly. Where the heck did Master Lookas go? Aw, well, I can still make menacing, bad guy threats. And I can also come up with handy new weapons that I DO know how to use. Like this Sith chant (2nd edition, devised by Master Lookas):

"Korah. Ratamah. Buy more toys. Clean the store shelves. Korah. Ratamah. Release more editions of the original trilogy on VHS. Korah. Ratamah..."

Angle5000, if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. No, your singing bears aren't safe. Unless, that is, of course, they start singing "Do the Twist" again. I can't resist that...

*continues Lookas chant*

JonesSolo and obi-wannabe1, your attempts to squash me and my master are "as clumsy as they are stupid". Next thing you know, you'll come up with a Cement cannon!

*covers mouth for giving JonesSolo idea*

Master Lookas will punish me for that one, no doubt!

Heh, heh. I've nearly turned this party into a battle. This place is gonna start to look more like "the Donner party" (another bad Sith pun)...

 

hey could i hang with you guys?? im new at posting but ive been just reading around for the past coupla days..

 

Welcome MikoReglia!!! Come and join the party.

Now Dark Malice I think you have caused enough trouble at this party.... Grabs Dark Malice and tackles him to the ground.

TICKLE TORTURE!!!!!

Now you either turn from the Dark Side and quit trying to destroy the singing bears or I will tickle you till you wet your pants...

"No I will destroy you all!!!"Dark Malice screams. "No that there...AHHHHHHH!!! HAHAHA HEEEHEEE!!!"

Asill lets Dark Malice go...not wanting to get wet herself. He runs away crying "I'll be back!! You can't humilate me like that and expect to get away with it"

Well, that didn't work like I thought it would...I think I just made him madder. Sorry! Maybe when he comes back we can just laugh at him.

 

*returns, carrying a long, black tube on his back*

Aha! I managed to get that plaster off, and now I can talk again! Not that I'll ever speak to anyone much and when I do I'll only give cryptic answers or just change my mind in twenty years... anyway, none of you Star Wars fans can escape the wrath of my new weapon...*pulls the big black tube off his back*...The dreaded CANON!! Yes, I did spell that right. Mwahahahaha. Now you shall be forced to argue about CANON forevermore, and you shall fight amongst yourselves as half of you completely ignore my simple rules on what CANON actually is, and then you shall all destroy yourselves, meaning minimal effor for me! Mwahahahaha

 

*arrives in a mini-Star Destroyer, complete with personal PA system!*

Welcome, MikoReglia! It is always great to have new victims, er, I mean visitors!

Asiil, you have sealed your own fate! Your tickle torture has only caused me to release yet another weapon in my arsenal: The Star Destroyer!

*tries to fire Star Destroyer, but it melts. Seems it was only a wedge of cheese...*

What the he-?!? I should've know better than to purchase a tool of destruction from a man from the Wisconsin galaxy. I don't even know where the Wisconsin galaxy is...

Master Lookas, I hope you will forgive me for changing the history of the Star Destroyer's origin. I know Wisconsin isn't canon, but...

[face_shocked]

*gets "deer in the headlights" look as Darth Lookas aims his "canon" at Malice*

 

*Somersaults over crowd to land in front of Darth Malice*

What's going on here?

*Notices that Malice has brought his master with him, takes a few steps back, clutching his Lightsaber with a shakey hand*

I thought you were in the spice mines of Kessel. How did you escape? I thought it was impossible.

 

Hello MekoReglia! I am terribly sorry to say that you have come at a very bad time. Darth Lookas and Darth Malice are trying to crash my Newbie Welcome Party. And I thought for a second that I was rid of them...

But that's OK. All are welcome. Hey, and if you have any ideas on how to get rid of Darth Malice or his Master, feel free to contribute!

Darth Malice, what is wrong with the singing bears? I think you are trying to cover up something... Oh yes. I know what it is. Don't think that we never found you that it was YOU who drugged those poor little Ewoks on Endor. Why else would they have been so wild and frisky? It was the drugs I tell you! The drugs!! That's why the Empire REALLY had their troops stationed there. It wasn't for some shield generator or whatever, it was because you guys were involved in a drug trade!

So now the truth is out Darth Malice...

 

Now padawanboy, you should know that in my Expanding Universe, escape is possible from anywhere. Mwahahahaha.

 

*searches tunic for for light-hoola-hoop while talking to PadawanBoy*

Padawanboy, you'll never grow up to be a PadawanMan if you keep challenging me! Master Lookas paid my bail on Kessel. He told me to go straight home (to our secret base), but I took a detour and picked up my mini-Death Star.

JediSenoj, Aaaarrgggh!

You found me out! That was why that stupid Wicket couldn't figure out how to use the slingshot right. He was too drugged up! And those other Ewoks were so doped up, that they attacked the Empire. They were too "whacked" to realize that a ropes and stones aren't gonna do any good against an AT-ST! And I had Jar Jar "hopped up" on the same stuff all throughout The Phantom Menace. He REALLY got a fix before the Droid battle! And why do you think Jabba got involved in capturing Han Solo? It wasn't for revenge on Solo! He has the best smugglers in the business! I needed him to run my "stardust"...If you know what's good for you, you'll keep this information away from the ATF, er, I mean BSB (BlueMilk, Stardust, Blasters). Wait a minute! That's not "canon" either! OOPS! What is thy bidding, my Master Lookas?

 

So it was YOU who made Jar Jar so annoying? I suffered 2 1/2 hours in the movie theater because of that creature, and to find out that it was because you drugged him...