Before Nighty night, Padawan mine - - JA Obi/Qui - - author thanks and replies 13/8

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JediVeloJinn, Jun 16, 2005.

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  1. JediVeloJinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 23, 2003
    star 1
    Please don?t hesitate to post, PM, or email me about anything you found in the fic, such as spelling/grammar/format mistakes, errors regarding the content of the fic, etc. Yes, I?m asking for negative comments. Criticism will help me to become a better writer. Even if it?s about the minutest details, I?d still like to hear it. Any questions are most welcome.



    Disclaimer: You know the drill. Nothing belongs to me. I make no money from this.




    Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi spend a relaxed evening together after months away from the Temple on missions. If you read JA, I figure that this could be after Xanatos and a few more missions immediately after that episode.







    ?Shouldn?t you be asleep like a good little Padawan? I?m sure that all the other Padawans are fast asleep and dreaming by now,? a deep voice said, interrupting the silence of the night. Qui-Gon couldn?t help teasing the boy, even though he didn?t know if Obi-Wan would recognize it for what it was. He hadn?t been in a mood like this for a very long time and was surprised to find himself feeling this way.

    Obi-Wan gave a start and took his elbows off the table, hoping that there weren?t palm-prints on his chin. He had been so engrossed in his reading that he hadn?t sensed his Master coming in. The large man usually moved silently, not to mention gracefully, and so Obi-Wan didn?t really expect to hear him, but their bond was completely open and he should have sensed his Master?s approach through the Force. He was chagrined to be surprised by his Master yet again.

    ?Obi-Wan? Is something wrong?? Qui-Gon asked, trying to keep his tone as lighthearted as before, although the slightest worry had started to worm its way into his thoughts.

    Obi-Wan ran a hand through his unruly hair while he thought of an answer. It was very late and although Qui-Gon didn?t set a curfew for him, it was now well past the time that his Master usually went to bed at. His Master had not imposed his own bedtime on Obi-Wan, though, and now he was confused. The reasoning his Master used that ?everyone else is doing it and you?d better be good like them? was one that he hadn?t heard since his very earliest Crèche years. He couldn?t decide if his Master was actually disappointed with him, teasing him, or just wanted an explanation. His Master had rarely joked with him before. In the end, he decided that the simplest answer was best. ?I was studying, Master,? he replied quietly.

    Qui-Gon thought about his Padawan. He didn?t think that Obi-Wan was having any problems with his studies, despite having to study many of his lessons by himself whenever he could take some time out during their missions away from the Temple. His records had shown that he was not only quick to learn, but also hardworking. However, Qui-Gon couldn?t really think of any other reason why his Padawan would still be awake at this hour. He certainly hoped that the boy wasn?t waiting up for him. It would be a crime to make even one more person suffer from the tedious but necessary errands that he had had to run, now that he was back in the Temple. He decided to put the latter reason past Obi-Wan. ?You weren?t waiting for me were you, Padawan?? Qui-Gon casually asked.

    As soon as the boy looked down he had his answer, but he still waited for his Padawan to give voice to it. ?Yes, Master. I was waiting for you.? Obi-Wan said, looking back up at his Master. Inwardly Obi-Wan cringed, wondering if he?d done wrong. He straightened his spine but couldn?t help swallowing nervously.

    Qui-Gon picked up on Obi-Wan?s discomfort even though the boy tried to hide it and he quickly said ?Obi-Wan, you?ve done nothing wrong. I just didn?t expect to see you here. From my experience of Padawans, the last thing that they would voluntarily do is extra study.? The last sentence was said wryly. To be honest, the best experience that he could rely on was his own, when he had been Yoda?s Padawan so long ago. Qui-Gon really couldn?t say that he had been as studious as the boy in front of hi
  2. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    LOL. I'm a sucker for good master-padawan mush, so I found this very enjoyable. Loved Qui's gradual feeling of comfort, and his musings about his 'serious' padawan. And Obi's settling, in finding Qui-Gon so very quite. I really liked that bit - and Qui checking on his plants. Looks like the sort of thing he would do. :)

    More in the offing? <looks hopeful>
  3. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    [face_love]

    Very lovely little viggie, calm and relaxing, no danger, no death, just the two of them. I like how they're gradually getting used to each other, and Obi-Wan is settling in quite nicely. It was sweet how he stayed up to wait for his Master. And I liked Qui-Gon's attempts to draw him out.

    ::contented sigh:: I very much enjoyed this! Keep it up.
  4. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    It was very relaxing

    I read it thinking
    something is going to happen to spoil the
    evening.
    Then it ambled along and felt like I was
    sitting on the couch
    listening to them relaxing

    Very nice story [face_peace]
  5. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    He poked his tongue out at his Padawan, glad that there were no recording devices in the room, and ducked swiftly out the door.

    Absolutely loved that line. Sweet story with lovely introspection. Great job! :)
  6. Obi_Kenobi_Devotee Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2004
    star 1
    I really liked this one. But for some reason all the calmness and mush (mmm mush!) made me extremely sleepy...ah, contentment. Well, I guess its late anyway. Loved the story though!
  7. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    That was cute! I liked how the two gradually got used to each other, and felt comfortable enough to tease each other. :)
  8. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Awwww so nice to see you posting here again!! Such lovely Master/Padawan mush! you always do such fine work! Great job!
  9. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Velo, that was delightful! I absolutely love Qui/Obi mush. I hope we get lots more stories from you. :D :D
  10. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    Wonderful Velo! What a lovely bonding/comforting viggie. I loved it! [face_love]
  11. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
  12. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Awww, that was sweet! I love Qui/Obi mush. It's great to see them slowly getting used to each other, very nice. :D
  13. PadawanEstel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 23, 2004
    star 1
    Awww, how sweet! Especially loved the part where Obi's up waiting for him...[face_love]
    *poke* write more!
    *poke* write more!
    *poke*...
    well, I think you get the picture. ;)
  14. JediVeloJinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 23, 2003
    star 1
    To everyone who replied:

    Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. It means a lot to me because this is my first fic on these boards. I?m so glad that I actually got replies, and that they were so positive. Don?t worry about offending me with any negative replies, though. If you spot any spelling/grammar/format mistakes, or anything about the content of the fic, please don?t hesitate to post, PM or email me. I?d really like any criticism about my fic. Thanks again to you all for your comments. They were very encouraging.



    ithesock

    Hi, Princess Arulmozhi. I didn?t know that you had a sock. I loved your fic: In the Eyes of the Beholder. Your fic was partly the reason why I wrote this, especially the paragraph ? Now he knew??..history notwithstanding. I loved it so much that I tried to find another fic that had more of that but I couldn?t find any :(. When I started writing this fic that paragraph was in the back of my mind. Hopefully I?ll give you a big review for all your fics that I?ve read, in about a week?s time. I have an exam to cram for right now. It just seems that my urge to write is only successful (i.e. I actually post something) at exam time.

    *blushes* I?m so glad you liked it. That bit about Obi-Wan commenting that Qui-Gon had been so quiet while working, and Qui-Gon checking the plants, was something that just wrote itself, I think.

    I don?t know how I managed to finish this fic: I have a big pile of fics that are partly complete. Most of them are more than a year old, because I?ve left them to rot for that long. This fic was thought of, typed out and posted in less than three days. It just came out all by itself. All the others need extensive editing and rewriting before I?m satisfied enough to post them, so I can?t really promise any more fics. I still have Katydidnt?s PB to work on (it?s gotten very big). And meanwhile, my old fics are starting to haunt me because of all the wonderful comments about this one. It?s such a great compliment that you?re asking for more. I?m going pink again. [face_blush]


    Maychorian

    Hi, Laura. I think that I should have warned people about the plotlessness of this short fic. I like reading about what the Jedi do when they aren?t out Saving the galaxy. I just hope that my snippet of it wasn?t too boring. Obi-Wan?s waiting up for his Master was another thing that seemed to write itself into my fic. Thanks for your reply.

    I just have to add in that your fic, Candles, helps me to remember group 5 of the Periodic Table. I just had to change Nibby?s age to 15 and remember that he isn?t Tall. Okay, sorry. I?ll stop the randomness now.


    Gkilkenny

    Thanks for your reply. I?m beginning to think that it?s relaxing to nearly everyone but me. I can?t read it without making more changes or adding extra bits in to explain more, or to put in another idea. I read it thinking something is going to happen to spoil the evening. I guess that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have a reputation for getting into scrapes :p This fic is a little drifty, I have to admit. (Drifty = no plot. It just drifts along.)


    LuvEwan

    Hi LuvEwan. Wait a minute. *gasps* It?s LE!?! It can?t be! *faints*

    Wow. You?re such a talented writer. I can?t believe that you replied to my fic. You?re one of my favourite authors. If I see your name, I?ll click on the fic before reading the title because I know that I?ll love it if it?s by you. I don?t think that I?ve replied to your fics except for Coming Home and maybe Blurred Visions but I really love your fics and hopefully I?ll get round to properly R&R the others one day.

    Um. *Cough* Ahem. There must have been something in those smelling salts :p I do hope that I haven?t scared you from replying to any other fics that I might decide to post in the future *worried face*

    Sweet story with lovely introspection. Great job! You like my fic! *blushes* This means so much coming from you.


    Obi_K
  15. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    It was quite adorable and made me a bit sleepy in the gentle way you wrote it - nicely mushy but not over the top.

    I liked the dynamic between the two. Qui-Gon not quite sure of Obi-Wan's reaction to his gentle humor.

    You should write more.
  16. JediVeloJinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 23, 2003
    star 1
    Thanks so much for your reply, Diane. I'm really, really sorry that I'm responding to it so late.

    I feel the need to rewrite the vignette everytime I read it. I caught a few errors but they won't be fixed anytime soon. Not till I get the story worked out a bit more. I think I like mush. I might expand a bit in the vignette, or save it for a short add-on to the end. *sigh* Ignore my ramblings. I'm like this at 5 in the morning. I just spent 17 hours reading "A night to (almost) remember." It's a very, very funny fic, that one is.

    It was quite adorable and made me a bit sleepy in the gentle way you wrote it - nicely mushy but not over the top.
    Thanks, Diane I'm starting to blush and start thinking about my unfinished fics.

    I liked the dynamic between the two. Qui-Gon not quite sure of Obi-Wan's reaction to his gentle humor.
    Eh. I feel undeserving of that comment from you, since you wrote "the loud exhale" and other fics so well. btw, that particular fic is missing from your site. I think that it should definitely be there.

    You should write more.
    [face_blush] I'll try, if my muse (or whatever else it is that controls the creative side of me) decides to co-operate. Thanks for your review. Your words mean a lot to me (see paragraph above)

    ~Velo
  17. JediVeloJinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 23, 2003
    star 1
    Please don?t hesitate to post, PM, or email me about anything you found in the fic, such as spelling/grammar/format mistakes, errors regarding the content of the fic, etc. Yes, I?m asking for negative comments. Criticism will help me to become a better writer. Even if it?s about the minutest details, I?d still like to hear it. Any questions are most welcome.





    ***** ***** *****
    ***** ***** *****




    Obi-Wan woke to the gentle peals of a windchime. He stretched and wandered out into the livingroom.

    There, he found his Master sitting on the floor, humming and surrounded by pictures. He wasn?t sure, but the man looked slightly wistful. For some strange reason, Obi-Wan thought that his Master was almost melancholy.

    ?These haven?t seen the light of day for so long,? Qui-Gon muttered to himself under his breath. He looked up, then, and smiled at Obi-Wan.

    ?Good morning, Master,? Obi-Wan said. ?The windchime sounds nice from my room.?

    ?Good morning, Padawan. I only like this particular windchime. It isn?t too high-pitched,? Qui-Gon replied cheerfully. He got up from the floor and propped the picture that he?d been looking at on the couch. Obi-Wan saw that it was a painting of a star system. Qui-Gon started gathering the rest of the pictures together.

    ?Those are really pretty. Can I look at them?? Obi-Wan asked. He didn?t see the surprise and pleasure that flashed across Qui-Gon?s face at the words, because he was tilting his head to look at a sketch of a city. ?Where did you get this, Master??

    ?I drew that, Padawan.? Qui-Gon started laying out the pictures again.

    Obi-Wan looked at the man in his turn to be surprised. ?It?s beautiful. I didn?t know that you?re an artist. What about the others? Did you do all of them too? How about this one?? Obi-Wan indicated a painting of a stalking kitten about to pounce.

    ?Yes. All of this was done by me,? Qui-Gon said. He couldn?t help the abashed smile that appeared on his face.

    ?Master, can we put them up on the walls? Please?? Obi-Wan asked, looking hopeful. His Master seemed inordinately pleased at his suggestion. He couldn?t think why. It was almost as if he wasn?t expecting it. Maybe his art had been criticised before, by someone whose opinion he?d valued. Obi-Wan thought. He didn?t suppose that his Master?s reaction had anything to do with Xanatos, but he prayed that it hadn?t.

    ?I?ll go get some more frames. You can pick out the ones you like the most, and we?ll decide and hang them up together.

    ?I was going to put those two in my room.? Qui-Gon nodded toward the painting of the star system, and the portrait next to it. ?So don?t choose them.? He smiled at the question that was about to burst from his Padawan, and answered it before it ate the boy alive. ?Yes, that was my first Padawan.? He looked at Obi-Wan and offered, ?if you can stay still for long enough, I could do one of you too, later.?

    Obi-Wan nodded eagerly. ?I?d love that, Master.?

    Qui-Gon left the livingroom but quickly returned with more frames. During his absence, Obi-Wan recalled that he had seen the hooks up on the wall yesterday but had been too tired to wonder what they were there for.

    He looked around and noticed that the squat chest that served as a low table was open and a smattering of curious, handmade and elegantly beautiful objects were scattered around it. Tissues that had been used to wrap the objects were strewn amongst them, and he could smell something funny coming from the chest.

    Obi-Wan guessed that his Master had collected the curios during his travels. Perhaps some were gifts from close friends. The smell was probably to deter any insects from destroying them whilst in storage.

    They would look pretty around the apartment, Obi-Wan thought. He could see a few niches that some of the objects would fit into perfectly, but he hadn?t a clue whether his Master would want to put his belongings out in the open or not. They seemed to have been stored away for a very long time.

    Qui-Gon rested the frames against the wall next
  18. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Aw, what a sweet little scene. I loved the kitten, and Obi-Wan's insight that someone might have bruised his Master's feelings. That was very nice. Keep it up!
  19. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Awww, how sweet. I liked how Qui-Gon compared the kitten to OBi-Wan. LOL

    As far as the my sginature, it's a couple lines from the novelilzation of ROTS... should have been in the movie in my opinion, as I always knew it for fact anyway. If you get the inkling I'm a Qui-Gon fan.. you would be correct. :D :D
  20. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    THE END:eek:

    what about all the gifts in the sqaut chest

    make a day of it decorate the whole room.

    Brilliant mush story=D=

  21. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    Awwww, that was very cute. I loved it. Wish there was some more to it though *hint hint* lol.
  22. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Ahhh- Cuteness!


    I would love more cuteness [face_batting]
  23. Seven Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2000
    star 3
    This is just cute beyond words.

    Seven
  24. JediVeloJinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 23, 2003
    star 1
    Maychorian, thanks for your comments. I don't know how the kitten got there. My fingers just typed it.

    Healer Leona, I'm glad someone found it amusing. It was supposed to be slightly humorous, but I didn't really know if it worked or not. If you get the inkling I'm a Qui-Gon fan.. you would be correct. *points to user name* I love Qui-Gon. You're in good company :p

    Gkilkenny Oh! :D I'm glad that it seems that the cameraderie between Qui and Obi will continue after I typed "the end." I was going to write more about Qui and Obi but I don't have any more ideas (yet) for what they'll do together. As for extending the short post, I'm positive that it would quickly get boring if I write more.

    Arwen-Jade Kenobi Whoopie!! A new reader! yay. I'm glad you liked it. Like I said to Gkilkenny above, it would get boring, unless I write about something else. Hmm. If my creativity comes out again then I won't pack it away, but it's very unpredictable.

    Padawan Kitara Yippee! Another new reader. Thanks for replying. :D I didn't think that it was cute. But then again, I didn't think that it was mush, either, till people told me that it was [face_laugh] I love your sig! Dufus/Dufi...I've got to be the dufiest person around :p

    Seven Gee, another new reader :) I'm glad that I kept your attention to the end. Thanks for replying. I love your sig too. The glass is neither half full, nor is it half empty. The glass is simply twice as big as it needs to be. I hadn't thought of it that way.

    Thanks everyone for replying.
    ~Velo
  25. Aya-Na_Bashu Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2005
    star 2
    I admit it, I'm a basket case when it comes to Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan tales. I read more than I can count, these are some of the best I've read. =D=

    *waves hand* There will be more.
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